Archive of Our Own ^beta

Their tradition, if it’s okay to call it that, starts on New Year’s Eve, 2022 to 2023.

Jisung was fresh out of college, having just moved back to Seoul in the summer. Living with Felix, his best friend since middle school, was a childhood goal and dream come true, and Jisung couldn’t have been happier. Ever since they were kids, they’d talk about wanting to live together as grown-ups, about how much fun it would be—to have dessert for dinner, no curfew, and no one yelling for them to take down their pillow fort because it was taking up the entire living room. And while all of that is true now—though not necessarily what they do with their attained freedom—the best part, as far as Jisung is concerned, is when Felix’s older brother stops by to visit.

He met Minho at the end of his first week of second grade, right outside the school gates. Jisung was thirteen, a skinny little thing, with the ugliest braces on his teeth, and a loose name tag on his baggy uniform. Minho was fifteen, went to a different school, and was the coolest guy he had ever met. One smile from him was enough for Jisung to get the biggest puppy crush on him.

(And the fact that he asked Jisung about the bluefin tuna on his cap instead of making fun of him only solidified that fact.)

While he and Felix were practically neighbors, and their moms got along just as much as he and Felix, Minho lived with his and Felix’s dad in Gimpo. Felix would often go off to his place on the weekends, but Minho going to see Felix didn’t happen as often as Jisung would like, so he’d only see Minho when he tagged along with his dad to pick up Felix, or on the rare occasions when he’d pick Felix up from school himself. On birthdays, Minho’s presence almost felt like a gift for him since his and Felix’s birthdays were just a day apart.

(Even if Minho wasn’t really there for him, having him around on his birthday meant a lot.)

Still, seeing Minho and hanging out with him wasn’t a common occurrence, and Jisung guesses that’s why he never got used to it, and Minho’s effect on him never lessened.

Years have passed since then, but the joy he still feels every time he gets to see him is a bit ridiculous.

A few days into December, Felix asked if he would like to spend New Year’s Eve together, and Jisung has never been much of a party person, but he figured he might as well. His friend had always harped on the importance of spending the turn of the year in a meaningful way—believed it would dictate how the upcoming year would go if you started it with renewed hope—and Jisung never listened, but he’s starting to think that he might have been right about that all along. When he was in Busan during college, he’d spend the 31st of December alone in his room, video-calling his friends before they got too drunk to answer his calls, not getting kissed by anyone as the fireworks went off.

And while he never gave it much thought, he’s coming to realize that the first months of the year have always been a little miserable to him.

Felix would start the year with some ritual that Jisung thought was ridiculous— like kissing someone right at midnight while wearing red underwear or doing three shots of soju and beer at a perfect 2:8 ratio if his goal for the year wasn’t romance—but he’d always do well throughout the year whatever he’d planned for it. He enjoyed the “college experience” to the fullest, then found a boyfriend before the second year came to an end, and they’ve been together ever since. While for Jisung, every time he tried dating someone, the relationship would end disastrously a few weeks in, sometimes even less. If he tried going out and hooking up with strangers, it would always end up being the worst night of his life. He still remembers calling Felix crying after his embarrassing first time, and it didn’t get much better after that—though he did learn to enjoy it eventually, and how to last longer than those embarrassing two minutes.

Either way, his years as a young adult have been a mess, and he really wants to change that. He needs better luck, which is why he’s on a mission this New Year’s Eve.

(Truth is, he’s been waiting years for Minho to notice him. Jisung understands why Minho wouldn’t have paid attention to him when he was a kid, but he’s all grown up now, and he’s been dying to cross ‘kiss Minho-hyung’ off his bucket list. Minho was always kind to him, the coolest hyung he knew, and quite possibly his gay awakening. He thought that being away for his studies would dampen his feelings, but the second he was back in Seoul he realized that they never really went away.

It’s one thing to like the boy who made him feel like less of a loser when he was young, but still liking him all those years later is something else entirely. But it’s not like he can help it—Minho has only grown even more handsome as the years passed.)

Now, he’s in a rooftop with a bunch of Minho’s friends, some of his own, and his heart is filled with hope as it beats erratically in his chest. He turns to Minho while everyone is looking at the clocks on their phones, waiting for it to strike midnight and the fireworks show to start. He’s ready to make a fool of himself.

“Hyung, would you kiss me at midnight?”

The question might seem sudden, but Jisung has been building himself up to this moment for weeks. He isn’t surprised when Minho blinks his big eyes very quickly at him, his head tilted and his eyebrows high on his forehead, the cutest pout on his lips.

(Jisung is so far gone for him it’s pathetic.)

“What?” Minho asks.

“For good luck,” Jisung explains like that’s reasonable. “Lixie is probably already making out with Chan-hyung, Hyunjin and Changbin are definitely kissing. If not each other, than other hot people. I can’t be the only one not kissing anyone.”

“You wouldn’t be the only one,” Minho counters, the tips of his ears going red.

“Hyung, come on. Kissing someone at midnight is how you make sure your next year will be filled with love.”

(He doesn’t want anyone’s love but Minho’s, but Minho doesn’t have to know that.)

“I’m not superstitious,” Minho says.

Jisung pouts. “Felix is. And he said it brings good luck, and I could use some of that. I’ve never had a relationship that was worth it or even meant anything, and I think the problem is how I’m setting up the year from the start.”

(Or maybe the problem was that none of them were Minho. He’s pathetic like that.)

Minho raises an eyebrow, his flush growing deeper. Jisung is willing to beg.

“Come on, please, pretty please.”

10, 9, 8…

“Help me, Minho-hyung.”

7, 6, 5…

“You’re my only hope.”

4, 3, 2, 1…

Just as the embarrassment begins to creep in, and Jisung starts second-guessing his plan, Minho leans in, and the fireworks go off—both in the sky and in his chest. It’s nothing more than a peck, a quick touch of lips that can’t mean more than what it is, but to Jisung, it means the world. Minho pulls back just as quickly as he leaned in, leaving Jisung with pursed lips and his breath caught in his throat.

“Good luck in the upcoming year, Jisungie.”

Jisung shakes off the stupor and smiles brightly, the fireworks still coloring the sky above their heads. “Happy new year, hyung.”

(Jisung had no idea then that that would become a tradition, but he hoped he would get to kiss Minho again one day.)

The excitement Jisung felt starting out the year with a kiss pushed him forward for a few months.

He wanted to prove himself with facts—show everyone (cough, cough, Minho) he’s really grown up. Seeing up-close how well Felix and Minho were doing was motivating at first, but really, Jisung had no idea how hard kick-starting adult life was until it was his turn to try his hand at it.

Sure, he crossed some other items off his bucket list, like hitting the gym consistently, going out and seeing his friends more often, and while he had a part-time job already, he still didn’t have anything stable. When he started looking for work with his degree, he thought things would be a little easier, but all he’d been getting back were no’s or no answer at all, and his confidence began dropping with every email and call. He relied on Felix for most of the bills, and Minho for food that wasn’t soggy instant ramyeon.

(Honestly, how Minho found time for it is a mystery. He’d work full-time, go to the gym, volunteer at the animal shelter, and somehow still cook for him and Felix at least once a week.)

That was all fine and good because Jisung has always loved being taken care of—and he loved that Minho was the one taking care of him—but he felt like the more time passed, the more the gap between them grew, like Minho was this awesome person, growing to be impossibly more awesome by the day, and Jisung was still stuck in the same place where he started.

For a few months there, Jisung grappled with his sense of self-worth.

(And the fact that both Minho and Felix kept reassuring him honestly wasn’t all that helpful, because it made him feel like he was lacking even more.)

But by the end of spring, things took a turn for the better. Jisung finally got a decent enough job, started pulling his weight in the apartment with the expenses, and he’d buy food for Minho too, making sure to invite him to new restaurants or cafés every so often. Sometimes Felix would tag along, though more often than not it was just the two of them as Felix started having crazy schedules that wouldn’t align with theirs. So, maybe at the end, the year did go well.

The kiss didn’t have much of an impact on his love life, though, but that’s because dating people who weren’t Minho still sucked. And the more time he spent with Minho, the more he realized no one would ever compare to him, and his crush kept growing.

They’re spending the New Year together again, this time at the bar one of Minho’s friends opened at the end of fall. The place isn’t packed, but there’s just enough people for Jisung to feel like he isn’t being watched when he approaches Minho right before the countdown. He isn’t drunk, but he’s had enough drinks to fuel him with courage to ask for his midnight kiss again.

(He’s had two beers. Sue him for being a lightweight.)

“As far as I’m aware, you’re still single,” Minho argues when Jisung mentions that he had a good year because of their kiss last December.

“No, hyung, it did work,” Jisung insists, clasping his hands together. Pleading. “Trust me, it was way better than last year.” Not a lie, that one small peck from Minho already trumped all the shitty kisses he’d had the year before. “Kiss me again? Please?”

Honestly, he doesn’t think it will work this time, but as the small crowd counts down to one and screams when the clock strikes midnight, Minho pulls him by the hand and smashes their lips together. Still quick, still just as sudden, and Jisung’s heart still beats just as crazily as it did last year.

“Better luck this time,” Minho says, like Jisung’s heart isn’t doing backflips in his chest.

Felix’s rituals actually work, Jisung gathers.

It’s either that, or Jisung is getting really good at manifesting, because throughout all of the next year, they’re attached at the hip, him and Minho. It probably has something to do with Minho moving closer to them, but he wants to believe that Minho might be starting to feel something for him, too. They have movie nights every Friday and hang out whenever both of them are free. It got to a point where Jisung thought Felix was getting a little jealous of how close they’ve gotten—like they were somehow leaving him out on purpose—but then again, Felix has his own life going on. Maybe if he spent less time sucking face with Chan he’d be in on their plans more often.

Jisung’s heart still skips a beat whenever Minho smiles fondly at him.

(His crush has gotten so much worse that he can’t say he has a crush on Minho anymore. He’s properly in love with his best friend’s brother at this point.)

But being with Minho is fun. Jisung can’t see himself being as open and free around anyone else—aside from Felix, of course.

Changbin is the one throwing the New Year party this time, and the scale of it is like nothing Jisung has ever been to. When he messaged their group chat informing them of the theme—a masquerade—he thought he was joking, but Minho was right next to him when the text came in, and he wasn’t laughing. Parties were serious business to Seo Changbin, and they had to dress the part.

Them ending up in similar outfits, though opposite in color, was entirely unintentional. Although they bought their masks at the same place—because Felix was busy again and they ended up going together—Jisung had no idea what Minho’s outfit looked like until he stopped by his and Felix’s apartment to pick them up. It was hard for him to stop the couple’s outfit thought from popping into his head every other second.

He hadn't shown Minho his mask either—wanted to surprise him, maybe see if there was any indication in Minho’s reaction that he might be even the slightest bit attracted to him—so the fact that they ended up choosing something that looked like a set was entirely up to fate. Or coincidence.

(Or maybe that midnight kiss’ luck does work like Felix said it was supposed to.)

But the fact is, when he sees their outfits, Jisung is sent into overdrive, and he can’t help but feel every feeling known to man.

He spent the months leading up to this night looking forward to it, but as they walk into the party, he can feel his hands all clammy, breath hitching whenever his eyes find Minho’s behind the mask.

Minho isn’t known to be a party monster, but he certainly knows how to enjoy one. He dances the night away with very few drinks to fuel him, while Jisung can’t do half of what he does without drinking a shot of liquid courage. He’s fine with just watching Minho from the sidelines, not worried that anyone will notice when he still has his mask on.

He can’t help noticing other people’s eyes on Minho, too. How would he go unnoticed? But Jisung doesn’t have time to feel bad about it because Minho shuts them down almost as soon as he they come up to him, the rejection nothing more than a hand pushing a chest away, while when his eyes land on Jisung, he always smiles.

(Asks him over a couple of times, too.)

Jisung is a fool, and he’s filled with hope that he hasn’t seen Minho with anyone, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, Jisung might have a shot with him.

The problem is, he was so eager for it to be midnight that he ended up drinking more water than he should have, and when they were five minutes away from the new year, Jisung felt the desperate urge to go to the bathroom, and he knew he couldn’t hold it for that long. The fumble with his costume made him take longer than he should have, and when he heard the countdown starting, he ran across the ballroom like crazy.

Lucky for him, his eyes always find Minho, like the polar sides of a magnet.

He spots him by the champagne fountain, and he might be delusional, but he swears Minho was looking for him, his neck craning as he tried looking over people’s heads, ignoring Felix and Chan exchanging knowing smiles in the corner, and Seungmin pretty much talking to himself on the other side.

Jisung quickens the pace of his sprint, shutting down the world around him. He grabs Minho by the shoulders as the countdown reaches 2, and kisses him despite being out of breath, just a peck like in the previous years. He smiles like he didn’t just do something stupid—hoping Minho is okay with keeping up the tradition for another year. “Found you. Just in time.”

Minho’s lips linger for a little while longer, their breaths mingling as Jisung speaks against his mouth, sharing the same air. And when Jisung pulls back, Minho goes in for another quick peck, fingers twitching on Jisung’s waist before he lets go of him. “For extra luck, right?”

There’s fire under Jisung’s skin, and delusions running through his head.

But then Minho blushes, offers him a genuine smile, and says, “Happy new year, Jisungie.”

It’s now 2025, with 2026 looming just a few minutes away. He realized at Changbin’s masquerade, when their lips touched for just a little longer, that he really likes Minho, and he wants Minho to like him back. He wants Minho to want him. To find him. To kiss him again.

The only person Jisung kissed in the entire last year was Minho. He isn’t even trying to date anymore. The only person he wants now is Minho.

(Maybe that’s what he wanted all along. Ever since he was thirteen.)

This time, Jisung dressed up a bit. Told Minho it didn’t matter it was just going to be the two of them, said what he always says every year, echoing Felix’s words, that how you spend your last minutes of the year impacts the entirety of the next. So he wanted to feel good. Put on perfume. He’s trying to get Minho to kiss him because he means it. He’s been giving him signs all year. He’s showing his interest in every way he knows how to—other than saying the very words.

Sometimes, he swears he catches Minho’s eyes lingering on him for a little longer than would be expected, or that he is used to. Sometimes, his touch lingers too. Sometimes, he will say something that could mean something, but more often than not, he ends up laughing it off. And once, when Minho carried Jisung to his bed after he fell asleep watching TV, Jisung swears he felt Minho’s fingertips sparking when he brushed his hair off his forehead, though he was barely awake at the time.

The past year has been wonderful, but also terrible (in the best way possible) on Jisung’s heart. He’d known since Minho’s birthday of last year that Felix would be moving out by the end of February; he and Chan had got engaged right after his birthday, and their lease would be up at the start of 2025. Instead of letting him look for a new roommate, Minho asked if he wanted to move in with him.

It’s embarrassing how fast he said yes, but even if he didn’t bear romantic feelings for him, Minho is still a very good friend and someone he’s very comfortable with. Besides, it’s not like he’s acting on his feelings and making things weird. Living with Minho is easy—he seems to know exactly when to seek his company and when he needs to be given space.

(He may also be eating better than ever. Minho always leaves food for him even if he’s the first to go out for the day.)

Their apartment is still only mildly decorated. They have all the big furniture and appliances, the basics of what one needs to survive, but the place still lacks personality, in the common areas at least. Bedrooms are fine, but living room and kitchen are still a work in progress. It lacks their personal touch, and what makes them them, but that will come in due time.

(They spend most of their time in each other’s rooms, anyway. The TV in Minho’s was the only one in the apartment when Jisung moved in.)

Either way, they have a couch and three bags of takeout on the coffee table, and to Jisung, that is more than enough tonight.

This is it, Jisung thinks.

He really wants this.

And he can’t help but notice that Minho dressed up too. His hair is brushed away from his face and styled with pomade, he’s wearing a nice outfit Jisung hasn’t seen him in before, and his perfume is different from the one he typically wears at home. Jisung is both nervous and excited. He’s kissed Minho a total of three times, but now he wants it to be different.

They’re sitting out at the balcony, pretending it isn’t awfully cold as they wait for their wine to cool down. Using the fridge would be a wiser idea, but the city lights are pretty at this hour. It also gives him an excuse to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with Minho.

“You could’ve gone with the guys,” Minho says, his voice a little quieter than usual.

He could have, yes, but Minho got hurt the day after Christmas while they were playing in the snow with their friends, and Jisung was the first to rush to him even though he was on the opposite end of the park. Everyone had been too distracted in the chaos to notice him slip and fall on his ankle. He’s been doing things for Minho at the house since, and even if it took him a couple of days, Minho has shown to be feeling more comfortable relying on him, even jokingly ordering him around.

(He got a bell sound app on his phone just to tease him, but Jisung likes how it’s been.)

Minho is almost fully healed now, but his doctor advised him not to put much of a strain on his ankle at least until the new year.

“Why would I when you’re here? It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Truth is, Jisung is a homebody, and the only reason he kept going to all the parties throughout the years was because he knew Minho would be there.

And being with him is all he ever wants these days.

“Did you want to go?” He asks, his tone playful. “Or did you want me to go so you could have the place to yourself?”

He hopes Minho’s answer is no. He would feel like an asshole for imposing himself on Minho’s alone time like this.

“Of course not.” Though he doesn’t elaborate to which question that’s an answer for, Jisung has nothing to feel anxious over, because he follows it with, “I think I’d feel lonely without you here.”

All their friends went to Lotte World for the year-end celebration this time, then they’ll party at Jeongin’s place until sunrise. They could’ve gone to Jisung’s favorite place in the world and he still wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here.

With Minho.

“Hyung,” Jisung hesitates before continuing. “Do you think it ever worked for you? The kisses.”

He doesn’t know what Minho’s answer might be, and he’s honestly a little afraid of hearing what he has to say. Nervousness has his hands getting clammy even in the low temperatures.

“I’d say it did,” Minho’s answer is so vague that it could mean anything. It either worked the same way it did for Jisung—they got closer—or it did work in the other way and Jisung just never heard of his romantic endeavors for whatever reason. He truly hopes it's the first option. “Why? Did it not work for you?”

“No, it did. I mean, this year was the best, don’t you think?” The thing at the forefront of his mind is the fact that they’re now living together, but it’s not just that. “I think I’ve gotten happier, you got that promotion at work you’d been working so hard towards, and the bad things, like your ankle, we can count on one hand. My gastroenteritis during summer must take the cake, though.”

Minho chuckles, and though he isn’t looking when Jisung turns to him, the redness of his ears give some of his feelings away.

“Yeah, it’s been a good one.” Jisung watches as Minho tucks his hands into the sleeves of his sweater. It’s getting really cold outside. “All that has been great, but if I’m being honest, something else stood out the most to me. I… hadn’t realized how much I rely on you. Thanks for being there for me, Jisungie.”

Jisung feels himself blushing because Minho isn’t one to speak of his feelings or throw compliments lightly. He does often in his own way, usually in a less serious manner, but hearing him say it like this, so earnest, is something else, and it makes Jisung’s heart weak.

There are only a few minutes left now.

Jisung thinks his heart is going to come out through his mouth. He wants to hope that things will turn out the way he wants to, but he also doesn’t want to get his hopes any higher than they already are. Minho’s lingering eyes and touches could have meant nothing to him. That could be just what friends do.

(But is it, really?)

There’s a tense silence that stretches for a while, giving his nerves even more room to grow. When the countdown starts, it isn’t either of them doing it, and it also doesn’t come from the TV. It echoes through the city—more specifically their neighbors, as they warm up to greet the new year with a different kind of excitement than the one Jisung feels.

This is the most nervous he’s been, even more so than that first time at the rooftop.

10, 9, 8…

Their eyes find each other’s.

7, 6, 5…

He gets on his feet, almost knocking down the table in front of them in the process. Despite his injured ankle, Minho is also quick to get up. It feels like a lead up to something. He so badly wants to be right.

4, 3, 2, 1…

Minho is the one to lean in first this time, unprompted—except for the first set of fireworks that explode in a rainbow of colors, the lights flashing, though a little quieter this year now that they aren’t outside or surrounded by a buzz of people in a party. Jisung still feels every sound wave coursing through him, just as quickly as the blood in his veins. Minho goes in for the usual peck, a small smirk on his lips, but just as they’re about to touch, Jisung’s mouth parting almost as a reflex, Jisung stops the touch of their mouths by putting a hand between them, Minho’s kiss landing on his fingertips.

Minho’s brows draw into a light furrow, looking like he’s ready to argue, and Jisung’s voice is just above a whisper when he says, “Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it this time.”

Minho gently lowers his hand, getting it away from his mouth to speak, though he doesn’t let go.

“Do you really think the previous ones meant nothing to me?”

That’s not what Jisung was expecting him to say, not in a million years. Hoped for, certainly, but not what he expected at all. He wasn’t expecting to see the range of emotions in Minho’s eyes that he does as they reflect the fireworks, or for Minho’s fingers to tighten around his hand.

“They did?” Jisung asks in a small voice, almost like he’s afraid to ask and have his voice wake him up from a dream.

Minho nods as he tugs Jisung closer, his free hand reaching for Jisung’s neck, thumb lightly tracing Jisung’s jaw. “They did,” Minho confirms, and Jisung doesn’t know if it’s his touch or his words, but he swears he’s about to go up in flames. Minho pulls him until their lips brush. “Want me to show you?”

Yes, Jisung thinks, but he doesn’t answer. Instead, he dashes in like he’s been starving, closing whatever gap there still was between them, meeting Minho’s mouth, not wanting to waste a second more.

Minho laughs against his lips, angling his head, clearly amused, and he’s soon matching Jisung’s enthusiasm, kissing him back, like he, too, has been waiting forever for this moment.

All this time, they’ve been counting backwards on a countdown, but this feels like the start of something now. The zero hour.

(Day one of the rest of their lives. Now there’s only going forward.)

It’s everything Jisung has ever wanted, and everything he never thought he would have.

When they pull apart, they don’t go far. Minho gives him another peck, then rests their foreheads together for a second as they breath in their new beginning. “Was I stupid for waiting this long?”

Jisung giggles as they look at each other, the glow in Minho’s eyes making his heart grow impossibly fonder. “If so, then we’re two halves of a whole idiot.”

(Their friends won’t let them hear the end of it once they figure out what happened. They still have hours until that happens, though, and until then, Jisung will spend every second he can getting as many kisses as he wants.

Maybe that will be their new tradition.)