Work Text:
By this point, Theo had gotten used to the smell of cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes. His parents—although they really wouldn’t do much if they knew it was his—had assumed it was their smoke. They were careless enough to leave their cigarettes out in Theo’s reach, although his parents were high more often than not, so they didn’t think to question why they were suddenly going through cigarettes more now that Theo was here.
Was it such a surprise, then, when he started getting into things he shouldn’t? Especially with his new…friend…Boris Pavlikovsky
So then was it also really a surprise when Boris came knocking on his door in the middle of the night with such urgency that you would have assumed someone died
“Boris, what the fuck do you want?” Mumbled Theo, still half asleep, “It’s the middle of the night”
“Calm down, Potter,” Boris smiled, very unbothered, and probably very drunk, “I have a place we must go”
“What? I’ll go tomorrow,” He rubbed his eyes, yawning
“Can’t wait ‘till tomorrow! Come, Potter” He grabbed Theo’s wrist, pulling down the dimly lit street.
Theo stumbled forward, gasping curses at Boris underneath his breath. It wasn’t unusual for Boris to decide things like this spontaneously, but secretly he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the feeling of being the one Boris wanted to take on these spontaneous trips, no matter how irritating it could sometimes get. It made him feel special. It was a feeling he never got from anyone else in his life.
Their walking had slowed down, Boris’ hand still on his wrist. He was going on about…something. Theo couldn’t quite tell what, as his voice was thick with a heavy Russian accent, and very slurred. He pretended to understand, though. He loved hearing Boris’ voice.
Suddenly, after god knows how long, he stopped
“Ah, we’re here”
Theo looked up. They stood in front of a large building, the lights from the sign blinding him. Once his eyes adjusted, he was able to make out the words “AQUARIUM.” Boris had gotten him up in the middle of the night to take him to an aquarium?
“Okay, what is this, Boris?” Theo half-whispered, irritated
“Aquarium,” Boris said, dragging Theo to the entrance
“Yeah, thanks, captain obvious,” Theo rolled his eyes
He waited by the bathroom doors as Boris paid for their tickets. Where he got the money, Theo had no idea. Probably that bitch ‘girlfriend’ of his.
Theo couldn’t deny that the lobby was beautiful. There were vines, probably meant to be seaweed, lacing every corner of the room. The overhead lights had a slight blue tint, and he could see dust particles floating everywhere. His eyes fell on Boris. The way the light highlighted his curls and freckles.The way he leaned on the counter, obviously drunk and probably flirting with the receptionist.
He looked at Boris like he was a precious piece of art in a museum. He was wearing a fuzzy red sweater. Theo always thought how much he wanted to hug Boris wearing that sweater. It looked like a cloud. But Boris wasn’t always the affectionate type, so he never asked.
Their friendship was…unique. It didn’t really have a start, and he hoped it would never have an end. Most of their time was spent drunk in Boris’ bedroom, or high by Theo’s pool. He couldn’t really remember anything they did, but he knew they always had a good time.
Theo sometimes wondered if there was something more. Not platonic. He pushed away the thought. Boris liking Theo? Completely out of the question. He had a girlfriend. To be fair, they never got along anyways. Even crazier though, Theo liking Boris? No, Theo didn’t like boys. Neither did Boris…he thinks…boys don’t like boys. It’s unnatural. It shouldn’t happen. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder…
“Potter! Earth to Potter!” Boris snapped his fingers. Theo was so lost in thought he didn’t notice Boris walking towards him, calling him out of his thoughts. He jumped.
“Sorry,” Theo mumbled, face slightly flushed
“Aw, what’s wrong, Potter? Lighten up, we’re here to have fun”
“Alright, fine, you fucker” Theo rolled his eyes
Boris grabbed his hand and practically dragged him towards the entrance. They turned around a corner, and practically entered a whole new world. Glass tanks that were practically glowing surrounded them. There was a low rumble of pipes, and the muffled sound of water sloshing against the glass. More importantly, there were creatures everywhere. Some small, some big. They were gorgeous. Theo was mesmerized. Any complaints he had melted away as he watched the fish swim.
Boris smiled. He found it cute how entranced Theo was.
“Well? See, I told you” Boris laughed
“It’s…amazing,” Theo whispered, unable to take his eyes off of the glowing blue waters.
“What did I say? I say it will be great, you say I don’t know what I'm talking about, and then it is great! You never trust me. Aiyiyi…” Boris shook his head
They started walking slowly. Each step echoed off the walls of the aquarium. For almost the first time in his life, Theo didn’t have a care in the world. He wasn’t worried about what his dad would say when he returned home. He wasn’t scared of what the kids at school would say to him tomorrow. He wasn’t reminiscing on the good times he had with Andy, or how he was doing now. He wasn’t lost in the thoughts of his dead mother, going over every. Single. Detail. Thinking about what could have happened if he had just done things differently. If he had said something. if he listened to the sinking feeling in his gut he had since the morning he woke up. He wasn’t sitting at the edge of the pool in the dead of night, bottle of pills in hand, one decision away from what he thought would end his unbearable pain.
No, right now Theo couldn’t feel happier.
Theo was suddenly aware that their hands had gone from being clasped, to their fingers being intertwined. He knew he should pull his hand back, but he also knew it didn’t mean anything. Friends do this all the time, right? Especially girls. Theo was sure there were girls making out in the bathrooms during class, but that doesn’t mean they’re anything more than friends, right? They were just…practicing.
Boris led Theo to a room just off to the side. They went through a hall. Theo huffed, although he didn’t mean to, when it went dark and he was forced to look away.
“Wait, Potter, I'm taking us somewhere better. You can survive just a minute without the fishies, eh?” Boris teased
Theo felt the heat rush to his face. He didn’t like fish that much. Boris was making out to be more than it was, obviously.
“S-Shut the fuck up, Boris” Theo glanced away, stuttering
Boris squeezed his hand in response. Theo’s heart jumped. Because of the dark. He was scared of the dark. Which is why he stepped a little closer to Boris.
“Is little Potter scared of the dark?” Boris chuckled
God, Theo loved to hear him laugh.
“What? No! I’m not!” Theo protested
“Whatever you say,” Boris shrugged
Despite his protests, Theo wrapped his other hand around Boris’ arm, clinging to it like a lifeline. He wouldn’t tell anyone—not even Boris—how terrifying the dark was. Every time he closed his eyes, he woke up in the dark sweating and hyperventilating from nightmares of his mom’s death. Sometimes he’d wake up paralyzed, creatures that blended in with the shadows whispering his deepest fears into his ears.
Boris felt Theo clinging to the sleeve of his sweater, and his breath quickening. He looked down at his messy blonde hair, and the slight light reflecting off his glasses. His heart ached for Theo.
“It’s okay, Potter, we are almost there.” He said, a softness in his voice.
Boris stopped. Theo winced, and shut his eyes, and light once again flooded the room. There was a strong salty smell, and the room was colder than the rest of the aquarium.
“We are here. Open your eyes”
Theo opened his eyes. All around them was one giant tank. There were jellyfish everywhere. And they were the most beautiful creatures both Theo and Boris had ever seen.
They moved slowly. Gracefully. These ones specifically weren't very big—around the size of a watermelon. They glowed in the aquarium lights like hundreds of stars shining in the night sky. Their tentacles drifted like silk on a dress.
“These are my favorite. I come here sometimes,” Boris breathed, his voice full of admiration
Theo stepped forward, dropping his hands to his side. Boris rubbed his arm which would probably have bruises by the end of the night from how tight Theo had been holding it. The glass made a soft clunking sound as Theo pressed his hand to it. It was cold, and Theo pressed harder, dragging his fingertips across the tank.
These were moon jellyfish. Theo’s breath started to come out uneven. The memory of his mother sitting out on the porch more often than not to watch the moon rise flooded his mind. It was one of her favorite things. That hour, his mom had told him, was the most peaceful hour of the day. She used to tell him that no matter how bad things got, there would always, always be something to cling onto. A reason to keep going.
“Just like the moon shining, guiding the way through the night,” she had told a much younger, more carefree Theo.
He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes, threatening to roll down his cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” Boris hesitantly placed a hand on Theo’s shaking shoulder
“She would have loved this,” Theo’s voice cracked. He looked up at Boris. His cheeks were wet with tears
Boris didn’t know what to say. He had seen Theo cry before, but never like this
“Your mother?”
“Yes,” Theo sobbed
Boris wrapped his arms around Theo and pulled him into a hug. He awkwardly half-rubbed-half-patted his back in an attempt to comfort him. Theo cried into Boris, dampening the neck of his sweater with his tears.
“Shh, it’s okay, Potter,” cooed Boris
“I miss her. I really miss her. It was my fault, Boris. It was my fault”
“No, Potter. Do not tell yourself that. You could not have done anything”
Boris was caught by surprise when Theo shoved him away. He crossed his arms, gripping his sides. Tears streaked down his face and hit the floor.
“No, Boris, you’re wrong. You weren’t there. You don’t know what happened,” Theo cried
“Potter, I-”
Theo cut him off before he could even begin, “And you keep calling me that stupid name. Do you even remember my real name? Or were you too drunk when we met?”
Theo knew he didn’t mean a word of what he was saying, and every bone in his body was begging him to stop. But he couldn’t. The emotions were just too much, and the words were flowing out faster than he could think.
“You don’t know anything Boris,” He choked
“Then tell me,” Boris said
Theo stopped mid sentence. He had expected for Boris to yell or scream or hit him. He was being horrible, and for what? Boris had always been there for him. He wanted to take back everything he said. To beg for Boris’ forgiveness, but he was frozen like a deer in headlights
The faint sound of pipes creaking, and Theo’s broken sobbing was the only sound that filled the silence that seemed to stretch on forever.
Eventually, Boris hesitantly stepped forward. Theo didn’t look up. Boris reached out his hand to cup Theo’s face. His calloused hands were a stark contrast to Theo’s skin. Wiping the tears streaming down his cheeks, he lifted Theo’s face to look him in the eyes.
Theo felt a jolt in his stomach at Boris’ hand. He didn’t know what he was feeling. His ears were ringing, and his head was throbbing too much to make sense of anything.
“P-...Theo. It’s going to be okay,” Boris whispered
“B-boris I’m sorry I didn’t mean it,” Theo cried
“Theo-”
“Please, I'm so, so sorry. I care about you so much”
“Theo-”
“Please, don’t leave me Boris,” Theo stared into Boris’ eyes
“Theo, I care about you too”
Boris pressed their foreheads together, staring back into Theo’s tear-stained eyes. He brought his other hand to Theo’s waist, pulling him close.
Theo shivered. Whether it was because of the cold or something else, he didn’t know. This was wrong. So, so wrong. Theo knew better. But it felt so right. Boris’ hand on his cheek, his fingers gripping his waist. He knew he should pull away right now before anything more happened. If people found out, they’d be called horrible things at school and be avoided like they carried a disease. Boris’ ‘girlfriend’ might even beat him up.
Despite all this, Theo felt himself leaning closer. He carefully tucked the hair on Boris’ face behind his ear, his hand resting a second too long on his neck. He felt goosebumps growing on his own, eyes fluttering down to Boris’ lips. He hesitated. What if he was reading this all wrong? What if Boris was just comforting him like any other normal person? What if Boris found him disgusting for even considering this? What if he was taking advantage of Boris? He was drunk, after all, he thought. Was he drunk?
Theo didn’t have time to spiral any longer when he felt Boris press his lips to Theo’s. His eyes widened, while Boris’ closed. Was this really happening?
“Shh, Potter, stop thinking,” Boris mumbled against his lips
Heat rushed to Theo’s face. Boris knew him too well.
Unlike Theo’s, Boris’ lips were dry and chapped. Theo didn’t really care, though. Not that he had much experience kissing other people, so he didn’t have anyone to compare him too.
Theo placed both of his hands on Boris’ neck, attempting to pull him closer. He was caught off guard when Boris gently, and ever so slightly, bit on his bottom lip. Theo made a noise somewhat like a squeak, and internally cringed at himself. He didn’t even know he could make that noise.
Much to Theo’s disappointment, Boris pulled away from the kiss. Neither of them knew how much they needed to take a breath. Panting, Boris smiled at Theo with the most love in his eyes Theo had ever seen in his life.
“So, am I a good kisser?” Boris laughed
“I mean I don’t know. I think so,” Theo stuttered, breathless
“You don’t know? So you need to try again?”
“I-I…uh…” Theo stuttered, looking away
“Hah! You look like a tomato. You fluster easily, Potter,” Boris teased
“You just kissed me, idiot!”
“What? You have never kissed someone before?”
“N…no!”
Boris’ grip on Theo’s waist tightened, causing his breath to hitch
“Well, then, I’m glad I am your first kiss”
Boris’ breath smelled like cigarettes and alcohol, but Theo didn’t mind. Especially when he could feel it right on his skin.
Theo pulled him into another kiss.
He never wanted this night to end. He wanted to stay here forever in the light of the aquarium, with jellyfish floating around them. He wanted to feel Boris’ lips and hands on his own. He didn’t really care if it was wrong anymore, because this was the happiest and safest he’d felt in his entire life.