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Viktor’s about to fall asleep on his feet in front of the blackboard when it happens.
“So!” Jayce exclaims, cutting through the warbled background noise and almost startling Viktor into a very clumsy fall, “... will you come?”
Viktor re-adjusts himself and rolls his shoulders. He might need a chair. “I… ah, could you repeat that?”
“The holiday market,” Jayce says, looking expectantly at Viktor like that explains everything. “Are you coming?”
Viktor tries not to look sheepish. Truth be told, Jayce has been talking about something for the past twenty minutes, and he hasn’t been listening for a single one. Half because of the work in front of him, half because of the all nighter they’ve pulled. It is now 4:30 PM, and much like the sun already drooping low in the sky, Viktor is losing steam.
Based on the way Jayce is beaming, Viktor thinks it’s in his best interest to agree. “Yes?”
He cringes when it comes out like a question, but that’s more than enough for Jayce who lets out a cheer of victory. “You,” Jayce says, leaping out of his chair and coming over to plant both of his hands on Viktor’s shoulders, “are my saviour. I’ll go and tell my mom the good news.”
“Your mom?” Viktor asks weakly, but Jayce is already flying back to their desk and grabbing his satchel. His hair is sticking up at various angles from his short nap a few hours ago. Unlicensed and unsanctioned, if you ask Viktor, who has valiantly powered through with no rest. But Jayce looked too peaceful to disturb, and his hair is too endearing and boyish to fix.
Jayce laughs as if he just heard the world’s best joke. He can’t be blamed; Viktor knows he’s probably managed to make a fool of himself. Somehow. That still remains to be investigated. “Of course,” Jayce says, practically jogging toward the door. “She’ll be so excited, Viktor, just you wait! And go home!”
Viktor opens his mouth to protest that with another cup of coffee, he could squeeze out a few more hours, but Jayce is already gone. He walks over to the chair Jayce was just occupying and slumps into it.
He has gotten himself into something. If only he’d cared enough to listen; then he’d know what.
Over the next week, Viktor is drip-fed information about the fabled holiday market. There’ll be fair games, and craft booths, and waffles, and hot drinks, and even a winter wear stall that has garments made with weaving techniques from Freljord, Viktor, how cool is that?!
Not literally cool, Viktor supposes, if Jayce’s praise of their fur-lined coats is anything to go by.
“Will anyone else be attending the market?” Viktor asks a day before they’re set to go. He merely means it as a way to keep the conversation going, because he’s never actually been to a holiday market, but he does enjoy talking with Jayce about it. This is perhaps the longest discussion about non-work-related activities they’ve sustained since forming their partnership.
It’s been a very busy year and a half.
“Oh! Yes,” Jayce beams, turning to Viktor and clapping his hands together. “You’ve just reminded me! Cait can make it after all. I guess her parents convinced her.”
Viktor had been under the impression that he and Jayce were attending alone. He really should stop zoning out of conversations. “To hang out with you?” he chuckles, attempting recovery.
Jayce gasps. “Never! She thinks I’m cool.”
Viktor swallows, uneasy. “Is she nervous because I’m coming?”
Jayce shakes his head. “She’s excited to see you outside of the lab, actually. It’s just… well, you know how teenagers are,” he sighs. “She thinks she’s too cool for gatherings. She’d rather do target practice, especially since she’s starting to get the hang of it.”
“I’d hardly call it a gathering,” Viktor shrugs.
Jayce gives him a funny look. Then, he says, “Got a big family back in the Undercity?”
Viktor clenches his jaw and chooses not to respond. It is, again, their longest discussion about non-work-related activities. Jayce wouldn’t know.
On the day of the market, Viktor sleeps past noon, showers, and spends far too much time in front of his closet. He puts on a white button-down and a crimson sweater with fleece-lined black trousers, and then he sticks his arm out of the window—too cold. He adds another coat on top—something to break the wind—and then makes his way to the door. If he looks at himself in the mirror any longer, he’ll sweat through the entire ensemble.
He’s trying to impress Jayce. It’s pathetic, quite frankly, but as he sweeps a hand through his styled hair, Viktor can’t bring himself to care. He has harboured feelings for Jayce almost since meeting. Since peering into the enigma of the arcane with him. What’s a little effort made for a small outing?
And Caitlyn. Caitlyn will also be there. That’s alright; it’s only one more person, and she’s stopped by the lab enough that Viktor is on a tentative first name basis with her.
Viktor picks up his cane from where it’s leaning by the door. Jayce fitted it with a widened base for the ice, and the sight of it makes him smile. Viktor usually just wraps the handle with fabric to keep the cold metal from sticking to his skin. He slips on his shoes and picks up his key and bag—he’s ready to go.
They’re meeting at the market entrance. It’s held in the park outside the botanical garden, which is luckily not too far from the academy grounds near where Viktor’s apartment is. It’s only when he starts to draw near that Viktor realises something is awry.
Jayce and Caitlyn are chattering near the wooden arch marking the entrance. That much is to be expected—but off to the side stand Ximena and Cassandra and Tobias Kiramman. Viktor swallows, throat dry. It all makes sense: Jayce’s comments, the weirdness of it all, running off to tell Ximena. Viktor definitely missed a memo.
Caitlyn makes direct eye contact with Viktor and shakes Jayce’s shoulder. He’s been spotted.
“Viktor!” Jayce shouts. Five pairs of eyes are now on him all at once. They close in as he gingerly walks towards Jayce and Caitlyn, snow crunching beneath his feet. “You look nice.”
Viktor glances at the trio of parents and wishes Jayce’s compliment was the only reason the tips of his ears were going as red as his sweater. “Your parents, they—”
“All have those matching bags,” Caitlyn huffs.
“Hey! They love them,” Jayce argues, jabbing Caitlyn with his elbow. “Just because you think they’re ugly—”
“They are!” Caitlyn exclaims, almost trembling with young fury. “We made those seven years ago, Jayce!”
“Just because you’re ashamed of your finger painting doesn’t mean I am,” Jayce says. Viktor’s eyes dart between the two of them, and he’s so busy watching the sibling spat that he doesn’t notice Ximena approaching him until she has a hand on his arm. Like mother, like son.
“We’re all so glad you could join us, Viktor,” Ximena says. Viktor turns around. He can see Jayce’s features in her.
“Mrs. Talis—”
“Call me Ximena,” she interjects kindly. “Have you met Cassandra and Tobias?”
Viktor looks past her shoulder to where the Kirammans are standing. He can see why Cassandra makes a good councillor: upright posture, unwrinkled coat, and a general demeanour of authority. Very put together; it’s almost making Viktor feel underdressed. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure,” he croaks as she waves them over. Jayce and Caitlyn join him—Jayce splays a hand across Viktor’s lower back and urges him forward as he introduces Viktor to Caitlyn’s parents. My partner, Jayce calls him.
Viktor squeezes his cane in his hands as he throws a self-deprecating laugh into the mix. This is clearly a family affair.
He has never felt more like an intruder.
“So, Viktor,” Ximena says as they all begin to make their way into the market, “Jayce tells me you’re from the Undercity?”
“Mom,” Jayce hisses.
Eh. It’s water off Viktor’s back. He’s used to it. “From Zaun, yes,” Viktor clarifies.
Ximena laughs into her hand, embarrassed. “Forgive me; Zaun. It has always been the Undercity to me.”
Viktor nods in understanding. Jayce looks like he wants to bury himself in the dirt.
“Are you and Jayce getting up to anything fun in the lab? You spend so much time together.”
Caitlyn laughs and makes a face at Jayce, who rolls his eyes at her. Viktor hopes the cold is fending off his blush. “Well, we’re trying to build something to enter in the Distinguished Innovators Competition,” he says. “I suppose that’s quite fun.”
“And he’s taking good care of you?” Ximena eyes him up and down. “You’re far too thin. Jayce, what have I said about remembering to eat while you work?”
“Look! Pastry stand!” Jayce interrupts. “Viktor, you like sweets, don’t you?”
Viktor can’t get out more than a noise of confusion before Jayce drags him away from the group. Caitlyn calls after them and Jayce shouts, “I’ll get you the one with the apricots, sprout!”
“Your mother is nice,” Viktor murmurs once they’re properly out of earshot.
Jayce seems to think he’s being sarcastic. Viktor watches as he visibly puffs out in slight anger. “She’s a little overbearing,” he groans. “You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to.”
“It’s only fair,” Viktor says. “After all, as she said, we do spend a lot of time together.”
They fall silent as they approach the pastry stall. Viktor’s eyeing a rectangular one loaded with thick slices of spiced apple and garnished with a sprig of something green. “Have you all been to the market before?”
“Every year,” Jayce says. “I thought I mentioned it before I asked you.”
Viktor has the decency to look ashamed. “I was too focused to pay attention that day,” he admits. “I didn’t… well, expect to be accosted on the fairgrounds.”
“That must’ve been a shock,” Jayce laughs. They fall back into awkward silence until he says, “Which one do you want?”
“The apple one,” Viktor says immediately, pulling out his wallet. “Unless you’ve tried it and it’s bad?”
“Everything from this stall is great,” Jayce assures him. “If I stay here for too long I always buy something else.” Then, to the salesman, “One apple tart, one apricot danish, and one blueberry danish, please!”
“Jayce! I can buy it myself,” Viktor whispers. “Excuse me, I—”
“I,” Jayce sing-songs, “am getting it for you because it’s your first time here. And because I feel bad about you walking into this unaware.”
“That was my fault,” Viktor points out. “Credit where credit is due, because you seem to love it so much.”
Jayce sighs good-naturedly—it’s become a habit for Viktor to joke about him signing his journal pages. “I promise, you’ll survive the day. I like you—”
Viktor nearly chokes on air.
“—so my mom likes you, and so does Cait. Her parents aren’t that scary… Well, maybe a little scary, but not once you get to know them!”
“Lovely,” Viktor says, peering past Jayce to where Caitlyn and the rest of their party are admiring gourds and pumpkins. Then Jayce presses a warm paper bag into his hands as he waves at the vendor. The pastry.
Viktor tilts the bag, sliding it towards the opening until the apple peeks out. He takes a careful bite—it’s delicious. The apple slices are still firm, and Viktor hadn’t noticed before, but they’re pillowed by a bed of sweetened cream cheese.
“Good, right?” Jayce grins, leaning in slightly.
Viktor realises he’s been staring at the dessert. He nods, mouth still full.
Jayce proceeds to guide him to a cart brimming with roasted chestnuts. He seems very apologetic about the whole situation, but he’s doing a good job of plying Viktor with food. Unfortunately, his chestnut peeling is mediocre, but Viktor’s not doing any better. His heart clenches painfully each time Jayce offers him a handful of warm chestnut crumbs with a smile.
When they return to Ximena and the Kirammans, the atmosphere is instantly more relaxing. Viktor feels as though he’s been socialised like a wary cat. They make small talk, ooh and ahh at trinkets, and admire the warm string lights as the sun begins to set. Viktor sneaks off to buy Jayce mulled wine as repayment for the pastry. It comes in a cup that’s half the size he expected for the price, but it means he can order a second drink and safely carry both. Viktor gets himself a toffee cider, and he grips the two cups in one hand, palm upturned.
It doesn’t take him long to return to Jayce, because Jayce finds him first.
“There you are! I thought we’d lost you,” he exclaims, clapping Viktor on the back.
Viktor winces as the cups in his hand slosh dangerously. “Careful,” he murmurs, holding his hand out to Jayce. “The one nearest to you is yours.”
Jayce loves the wine, although Viktor thinks it wouldn’t matter what he gave him. He insists that Viktor should try it too, and when he looks away, Viktor lifts the paper cup to his lips in the exact spot Jayce drank from and pretends it’s a kiss.
More walking. A caramel apple that Viktor can’t figure out how to eat for the life of him. A blue scarf that Ximena strong-arms him into trying and then buys behind his back. Caitlyn flicking pieces of popcorn at Jayce. Jayce trying to catch them to throw back at her. Jayce’s hat which he offers Viktor when the wind threatens to turn his hair into a bird’s nest. Jayce laughing. Jayce, Jayce, Jayce.
It’s all so normal. So intimate.
They claim a picnic table for a proper meal. As proper as it can be at a fair, anyway. Viktor only realises once he’s put his bag down that Jayce and Caitlyn have gone to buy the food, leaving him alone with all three parents.
Tobias speaks first. “How are you enjoying the fair, Viktor?”
Viktor swallows and tugs at his new scarf, loosening it slightly. “I’m glad Jayce could persuade me to take a break. Fresh air is rare for scientists,” he tries to joke.
Everyone nods, and Ximena lets out a small chuckle. Viktor presses his lips together and tries not to crawl into a hole.
“I’m sure you’ve been told that this outing is a yearly occasion,” Cassandra says smoothly, removing her kid gloves. “Perhaps next year, your parents would like to join us too.”
Ah. Viktor folds his hands into his lap. “My parents are no longer with us.”
Cassandra hurriedly apologises while Tobias offers his condolences, and Viktor suddenly finds his hand clasped in Ximena’s. “Jayce cares for you an awful lot,” she says warmly. Her eyes are almost sparkling. “Any partner of his is like a son to me. You,” she continues, patting his cheek, “are welcome in our home any time.”
Viktor offers her a weak smile in return. This day seems to be one social disaster after the next. Luckily, the food soon arrives with Jayce, his own social buffer, carrying half of it. Viktor tries and fails to gracefully eat a hot dog—sauce gets on the tip of his nose without him noticing, and Caitlyn has to hand him a napkin. When they’re finished, they walk to a stall near the west edge of the market to buy what Jayce describes as “soft gingerbread with a sweet coating”. He talks to Ximena as he buys a paper box with five flavours.
Once the box is secured, Jayce hands Viktor a piece. It’s bigger than Viktor expected and covered in chocolate. A chewy blend of ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves, and there’s a fruity richness to it too, almost like…
“That’s plum,” Jayce supplies helpfully. “It goes great with the dark chocolate.”
It really is very good. Jayce never disappoints, and that’s the whole problem; every little mundane thing is excruciating. The way Jayce slid in next to Viktor when they sat at the picnic table. All of Jayce’s glances at Viktor to make sure he’s following. The casual touches, the way Viktor’s being included in this apparent tradition.
“This one’s apple,” Jayce says, picking a piece out of the box for himself and breaking off a chunk. “Try some.”
Viktor can taste what a lifetime with Jayce Talis would be like. It tastes like fruit and dark chocolate with spices, and the nutty apple-flavoured gingerbread coated with crispy white sugar that Jayce is pressing to his lips. As Viktor accepts it into his mouth, he feels the faintest brush of Jayce’s fingers and swears that colours are exploding in the background. Maybe he’s delusional. Something smells like burning toast.
After the holiday, they have to go back to work as if Viktor’s craving for Jayce hasn’t deepened with each passing moment. His stomach turns at the thought of returning to normalcy, so he slips his plum gingerbread into the empty paper bag from the pastry earlier. Not before breaking off a small piece for Jayce, though. Viktor holds it in front of Jayce’s face, tempting, waiting to see if he’ll bite.
Jayce does, with a little grin. He even leans in. For his own temporary happiness, Viktor pretends it’s flirty. He’s so off-kilter that he slips a little on the ice.
“Just want to warn you,” Jayce whispers directly into Viktor’s ear as a hand flies out to steady him. His warm breath is like a balm in the frosty air. “My mom wants you at our holiday dinner.”
Viktor freezes.
The hand falls away. “You don’t have to say yes,” Jayce says, now looking ahead and still walking, “but I thought you wouldn’t want any more unwelcome surprises. Though, obviously, I’d love it if you came. It’s in a couple of days, that’s what she bought the pumpkin for. She has this really good recipe for…”
While Jayce’s back is still turned, Viktor heads down the nearest alley and flees. He doesn’t stop moving, weaving between the stalls until he’s just past the treeline outside of the market grounds. He cannot handle whatever this is. This—this nosedive from colleagues to friends to… Viktor’s not sure. He just knows he wants more. And it’s not fair of him to be greedy for more when Jayce is already offering so much.
So much. It’s too much.
Only the mud-stained snow stops him from sinking to the floor, back pressed against a tree trunk and pulse roaring in his ears.
“She has this really good recipe for stuffing,” Jayce explains to Viktor as they walk away from the gingerbread stall. “It’s got, like, ten different vegetables and herbs from her garden, and we can help her crush chestnuts. Chop stuff, too. Mom makes me chop onions.” Now he’s just rambling. “Are you good with onions, Viktor? They make me cry.”
Viktor doesn’t respond. Jayce turns around to apologise for talking his ear off and finds him gone. They’ve been walking in a straight line—there’s no reason for Viktor to have gotten lost unless he walked off on purpose. Maybe he spotted something nice at another stall.
Or maybe he’s in danger.
The air sours with panic as Jayce jogs up to the rest of the group. “I’m going off to find Viktor, okay?” he says quickly, tucking the gingerbread into Ximena’s bag.
Cait’s cocked eyebrow tells him that she’s seeing straight through the smile he’s plastered on his face. “I looked over my shoulder and saw him going down that alley.”
Jayce follows her line of sight. “The one between the gingerbread stall and the wood carving necklaces?”
“That’s the one. But—”
“You’re the best!” Jayce shouts as he leaves. He can’t run as quickly as he’d like because of the ice hidden beneath the melting slush. What if Viktor slipped somehow?
He almost runs directly into one of the vendors. Between apologies, he blurts out, “I’m looking for my—” Friend? Partner? “—I’m looking for someone.” The question is too loaded. “Have you seen a pale guy with a dark brown coat? Hair kind of like this,” Jayce says, miming the swoop of Viktor’s hair with his hands, “and two moles here? Amber eyes?”
“Blue scarf?” asks the vendor. Jayce nods. “Down to the left.”
Chatting with a few more vendors leads him right to the edge of the market. Jayce is about to dive back into the stalls when he catches a distant flash of blue in the trees.
“Jayce!” Cait jogs up to him, breath coming out in clouds. “You left before I could finish, damn you!”
Jayce yelps as she thwacks him on the arm. “Sorry! Can you make it quick? I need to check if Viktor’s alright.”
Cait rolls her eyes. “I’m getting there. Had a bit of a brainwave.”
Jayce stares at her, waiting.
“Viktor seemed surprised when he got here.” She moves snow around with her boot. “Nervous, too.”
“Right,” Jayce says dumbly. “Cait, what—”
“Did you ask him here on a date?”
Jayce pauses, searching for a response. “I—the thing is… sort of?”
“I knew it!” Cait crows, pumping one fist in the air. “Finally! You two are disgusting.” Then she stops and narrows her eyes. “What do you mean ‘sort of’?”
“He didn’t know it was a date, okay?!” Jayce exclaims, exasperated. “I never… I wasn’t brave enough.”
That’s Jayce’s issue: he’s not brave enough. Viktor’s too important. Too witty, too gorgeous, too ingrained in Jayce’s life now that his rejection would mean Jayce’s utter destruction.
Cait looks absolutely horrified. “Jayce. You have been treating it like a date.”
“Was that a question?” Jayce asks, wincing as Cait’s eyes widen.
“Please tell me this isn’t the first pseudo-date you’ve had,” she moans. “Tell me you’ve gone to a cafe together without anyone else, at least?”
Jayce fiddles with the sleeve of his coat.
“Jayce.”
“No, we haven’t,” Jayce admits. Cait advances. He steps back. “I was nervous! I needed someone here with me. I couldn’t do it alone, alright?! Viktor means so much to me. If I screwed up, I would never forgive myself.”
“Jayce!” Cait shrieks, smacking his arm much harder this time. “Traditional family market outing?! This is an established-friend-or-partner type of activity!”
“Viktor is my partner,” Jayce tries, but she’s not done.
“Have you considered what this means to him, Jayce?! Being your partner? Being part of your family? Because he clearly likes you, and you basically threw him in the deep end straight away!”
Everything else fades to background noise. “Viktor likes me?” Jayce says.
“Of course that’s the only bit you hear,” Cait snaps. “Hello? Earth to Jayce? Wait, no one’s home because your skull is hollow!”
“Viktor doesn’t like me,” Jayce insists. There’s no way. Has he ever…?
“Go and find him. Idiot,” Cait sniffs, whirling around and marching back into the stalls. “Do me a favour and take two more men off the market.”
Jayce peers back into the forest as she leaves. That’s definitely Viktor hiding behind a tree. It feels like he’s crossing a gaping chasm as he makes his way over. The snow gives him away, and he sees Viktor’s frame tense as he nears.
There’s no way Viktor’s interested in him. That would be too kind.
“Hey,” Jayce says as he arrives. He takes his usual spot on Viktor’s right and rests his back against the tree trunk. “Sorry for dumping all that on you. It’s okay if you don’t want to come to dinner, I wasn’t pressuring you into an answer.”
“Don’t invite me,” Viktor mumbles.
Jayce is at a loss for words. “... Why not?”
“You know what I mean, Jayce,” Viktor spits. His head is turned away, eyes downcast. “Surely my appalling behaviour has made it obvious.”
“A—appalling?” Jayce stammers. “Viktor, you did great today! I know my mom can smother a little, but it just means she likes you!”
“Don’t invite me,” Viktor repeats, finally looking up to glare at Jayce. “Don’t invite me to these things if you don’t mean it like that because I will always want more, and it’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to me. It’s just making it more painful.”
Jayce opens his mouth, but Viktor’s not finished. “Today has been wonderful. We spent the evening together. I got to meet your family. You showed me your favourite things, and foods you knew I’d like, and your own mother went behind my back to buy me a gift,” Viktor says shakily as he runs the tips of his fingers over the blue scarf. “You lent me your hat. On multiple occasions, you gave me your hand. And that is precisely why today has been awful,” he chokes, “because you have gorged me on a love I cannot swallow, not without wanting more—”
“Oh,” Jayce whispers, and Viktor stops, pressing his lips together. His eyes are glittering, and a tear spills over. “Viktor. Viktor.”
“Don’t,” Viktor says shakily, but Jayce steps in front of him, quashing all attempts at protest.
“Viktor,” Jayce repeats, blindly tangling their hands together. “Viktor, I love you, why do you think I invited you?”
“You can’t mean that,” Viktor says, anguished, and then a white dot lands in his hair. Then another, and another. It’s fucking snowing, because of course it is—how stupidly romantic—and Jayce wants to laugh and cry at the same time, and then he does. Full-body shaking with it, so hard that his cheeks hurt. Viktor looks like an angel now, with snowflakes resting in his hair and landing on his eyelashes.
Jayce kisses him. Salt and plum gingerbread flood his tongue, and the sage in Viktor’s conditioner fills his nose. Viktor’s lips are absolutely freezing, and he lets out a surprised noise. Jayce’s own are probably a little worse for wear in this weather. “I want you in my life,” Jayce says, bringing his hands up to cup Viktor’s face before going in for another quick kiss. “In my family,” he continues. Another kiss. “Forever, if you’ll have me.” One last kiss, and then, “I was just too much of a coward to say it before. It felt like we were… bigger. Like I’d already known you for a lifetime. You were too important to me.”
Viktor stares at him, wide eyed, and then yanks on Jayce’s coat until he’s sandwiched between Jayce and the tree. “So you skip straight to the intimate family outing?” he says, muffled by the fabric. “What happened to ‘wine and dine’?”
Jayce chuckles, pulling back so he can stare unabashedly at Viktor. He’s just about finished kissing the damp salt off of Viktor’s rosy cheeks when a voice shouts, “That’s public indecency!”
“Sorry, officer,” Jayce replies mockingly as Cait, the offender, crosses her arms with a smug grin. The Kirammans are behind her, and Ximena looks positively overjoyed.
“She knew, didn’t she?” Viktor mutters.
“Yeah,” Jayce sighs, stepping away from the tree and straightening up. “I suppose a thank you is in order. I will never hear the end of this.”
“Caitlyn and I will both make sure of that,” Viktor says. Then he smiles, and Jayce swears it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
He can’t resist lacing their hands together as they walk back towards the market.