Chapter Text
Penelope was mad at Colin. He had scared her to death. She had thought for a moment that he was dead. And she would have killed him if he had. Just because he wanted to be cute and strong and had refused her help to carry the Christmas tree she had selected to go in her lounge. She had foolishly enjoyed watching Colin being hot and sexy doing so, until he had slipped on a patch of ice and made Penelope think she had just killed him.
The fall had been scary, which was the reason why she was mad at him. It was not really his fault, but this was how she was processing her emotions. Over and over, she saw the same scene play in her mind. Repeatedly. His head had hit the ground so hard that it had bounced back up. Penelope had thought she had just witnessed the love of her life die in front of her. Just a week after they had decided to try out the 'more than just friends' thing. She had watched him lie on the ground, under her tree, without moving at all. A lifeless body she could not forget.
So, yes. She was mad at him for refusing her help. At herself for not insisting more. At the universe for putting that patch of ice under Colin's feet.
People around them had moved quicker than she had. Removing the tree from Colin, making sure he was responsive, calling 999. All while Penelope dissociated and tried to move towards him. Everything after his fall was a blur. She knew she had jumped into the ambulance with him, never letting him go of her eyesight until the nurse had asked her to stay in the waiting room while they checked on him. Since his fall, Colin had spent the entire time oscillating between consciousness and unconsciousness while the medics tried to keep him awake. But all Penelope could remember now, sitting alone in the hospital waiting room, was his head bouncing off the ground in a thud, his empty eyes looking at nothing and his inert hand in hers. For as mad as she was at the situation, she was, above all else, petrified.
When she had invited Colin to come with her to pick her Christmas tree, Penelope had thought it would be a cute date idea. The perfect Hallmark movie kind of date for their blooming relationship. They would drink mulled wine, stroll the tree nursery, and bring the chosen tree back to her place. Colin had also mentioned a tour on the carriage that strolled around the farm ground. He had said it as a joke, but she had heard his earnestness under his humour.
It was meant to be the perfect date, and Penelope had also planned for the rest of their afternoon. She had made room for the tree in her lounge before meeting up with Colin. It was in the corner, by the window, so that she would see it from outside as she came back home from work. She would have invited him to come with her and help her decorate the tree together. They would have joked about the various baubles she had collected over the years, including some that Colin had brought back as gifts for her from his trips. They would have cooked together, and maybe, he would have accepted her bashful invitation to spend the night at her place. She had had everything planned out, except for this treacherous patch of ice.
Instead, she was sitting on a plastic chair, in the corner of a hospital waiting room, nervously waiting for someone to come to her with any news.
She had not thought about much since his fall. Her brain was in a fog, replaying over and over the same scenes, always as painful as the first time. The head bounce and the noise it had made. The empty eyes looking right through her. The inert hand that flapped when she tried to hold it. Over and over again.
Penelope had not even thought about contacting his family. It had been the hospital who had asked about emergency contacts. Based on the few messages she had received from the various group chat she was in, the available Bridgertons should be arriving to the hospital soon. None of them knew about the new development in their relationship. Colin and Penelope had wanted to keep it a secret. Something just for the two of them for now. Just for a little bit, while they settled on what they wanted to be for each other.
But she was apathetic about it now. They could guess whatever they wanted to infer by her presence by Colin's side. About her worry for his well-being. Penelope could not hide her feelings for him any longer. She had done it for almost twenty years, and she did not have the energy to keep doing it anymore. She had almost lost him forever; she could not let him go.
The latest update Penelope had received from a nurse had been more positive than what her mind had let her expect. He was concussed and had a fractured rib. He needed to be observed while he rested. Someone would come and get her shortly to inform her when Penelope could go visit him, once he was completely settled in his room. She should not worry if he was sleeping, it was what his body needed to heal. He was medicated and well taken care of. Realistically, she knew he was in safe hands, but as long as she had not seen him with her own two eyes, Penelope was not sure she would be able to rest. She needed to make sure he was doing ok, that he was going to make it.
Penelope had watched people move around the waiting room, other worried loved ones, waiting on some news. Everyone hopefully looking up whenever a nurse would pass by, hoping that this time it was for them. It made Penelope feel uncomfortable to be there with them. She did not feel like she deserved to wait along other patients' loved ones. For so long, Colin had just been her best friend's brother on whom she had a crush. Over the years, their friendship had deepened and he had joined Eloise as her other best friend, while her, supposedly unrequited, feelings grew for him.
But this whole 'more than friends' thing they had going on was still so new, Penelope felt like she had to justify her presence to everyone. Like she needed to explain that she was allowed to feel scared because the man she had probably loved since she was eight was on an hospital bed after she had seen him unresponsive on the ground. That, although they had not discussed exactly what they were yet, she needed to know if he were ok because she was not sure she would be able to live without him in her life. Instead of explaining all that to the strangers around her, Penelope did like them; looking up whenever a nurse came into the room, hoping that, this time, it would be for her.
Penelope waited a few more minutes, how much she was not sure, before it was finally her turn. Colin's name was called out and immediately, she stood up from her plastic chair, walking as fast as she could to make the last moments without seeing him go as quickly as possible. She was led to his door, listening to the nurse as he explained Colin's conditions. He was fine, he was awake, he would be ok. "He's on medication for the pain, he's a bit loopy," the nurse said in front of the door, before letting Penelope go in. She did not care, she just wanted to see him, replace the last images she had of him. She wanted to substitute what clouded her mind. Forget about his head bouncing on the ground. His lifeless eyes. His inert hand.
The nurse left Penelope in front of the door, informing her that someone would pass by in a bit, before heading to another patient. A couple of knocks, and Penelope entered the room.
"Peeeeeeeen."