Work Text:
Schroeder always wears hoodies, no one knows why. It started a year ago. Sometimes he'd change it up and wear something like a long sleeve shirt, but never a t-shirt and it's even been awhile since he's worn his old long sleeve shirt. No matter the weather the hoodie stayed on
“Schroeder, we’re playing baseball, you don't need a hoodie” Charlie brown said
“Schroeder it’s like a million degrees, it would be better to take the hoodie off” Lucy said
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Schroeder was always tired. Bags under his eyes, coffee in hand, no one knows why. Seems like people didn't even bother. This made him lose concentration, he started failing all his classes from being a top A student.
Lucy started helping him with his homework so he might bump his grades up again.
“Okay, so what would the answer to this be if that's how you solve it?”
“I don't know”
“Schroeder! I just explained this to you”
“Sorry… I wasn't paying attention”
“Sigh” “I'll explain it to you for one last time” but as she was explaining his eyes looked dull, gray.
Is something wrong?, a thought that came into her head. She just shoved it down and kept talking
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Schroeder stopped eating lunch. When someone asked he just said he wasn't hungry. Every single day his lunch would be given to his friends and when they asked why he just replied with the same thing he always said.
Lucy wondered if the reason he gave his lunch away was so his mom thought he finished his lunch, did he have an eating disorder?
One day Lucy decided to ask
“Schroeder, why don't you eat your lunch?”
“I'm just not hungry”
“But you say that everyday, are you sure?”
“I'm fine Luce, ill eat at home”
Sigh, no answers once again”
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Schroeder started skipping classes, Why? How would anyone know anymore he just kept to himself.
At least he wasn't skipping all classes…just most of them, but at least he wasn't skipping school.
Lucy only saw him during lunch and when she walked past his music class to make sure he's there. Once in a while he’ll show up to English, never math though.
She wanted to ask why however she knew the type of response she would get.
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A few weeks later, Schroeder did start skipping school all together. Lucy started to get really worried. Schroeder never acted like this before, what is happening now?”
She tried to call the Feltons house yesterday yet only Schroeder's mom answered, and when Lucy asked to speak to Schroeder, she said Schroeder was sick and to maybe try another day
I guess that's a normal reason to skip but something didn't sit right with her
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1 month, 16 days, 1127 hours without anyone knowing what happened to Schroeder
No calls, No showing up, no talking, nothing.
Lucy gathered some information overtime that guaranteed something was up
Schroeder stopped playing piano
Schroeder stopped going to school
Schroeder stopped talking
Schroeder stopped eating
Schroeder stopped doing work
Schroeder stopped wearing anything but a hoodie
Schroeder… isn't even here, but no one knows that except Lucy
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It was after school. It had been way too long since Lucy had even seen Schroeder so she went to his house to talk.
She barged right in and went straight to his room
“Schroeder?” “SCHROEDER!”
She saw him in his bed, knife in one hand, scars all over his arms, some healed, some there, some new. He looked skinner then she remembered all his bones were showing. Beside him laid an empty bottle with the prescription ripped off
“Schroeder! what happened?”
“Luce..”
“I'm here, but please Schroeder talk to me, whats wrong?”
“I'm sorry Lucy, Ill miss you-” was all he could say before his eyes closed
Tears swelled in Lucy's eyes, then they kept swelling down the sides of he face.
On Schroeder's desk lied notes folded in half, one with his mom's name, one with Charlie's name, one with Franklin's, and one with Lucy's
Even though she could barely see, she had to read it. She grabbed one of Schroeder's reading glasses because they had similar prescriptions and read
“To Lucy,
I'm sorry I've been away for so long and I'm sorry for not answering you. I'd been hiding a secret for too
damn long but i was scared to tell you or anyone how i was feeling. But truth be told id been so fucking depressed for too long. I want you to know it's not your fault or anyone's for that matter, just mine. You were always trying to know or help what's wrong but I just shut you out until it was too late. I guess I didn't learn anything from my younger self. If i could i would have told you, most times my mouth refused to move and my hands just did what it wanted. I loved you so much and I'm so sorry I never told you. Please take care of yourself for me. I believe in you forever and ever even if I'm not there to tell you. One day you'll forget about me and everyone else and that's okay because I just want you to be happy. Ill hopefully see you at heavens gates because it’s too little, way too late
From Schroeder”