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It was the same fireworks show every year, but Lightning always stuck around longer than she said she would. She swore they stepped up their game every time.
She stood alone in the middle of the huge crowd, staring like the rest of them on the sandy shoreline. Streaks of shaded light shot into the night sky, bursting in wondrous arrangements of color.
She wondered if she should go and find her sister. It wasn’t an appealing idea, knowing she was lost somewhere in the pool of people that surrounded her on all sides, but she figured that would be the sisterly thing to do. That would be what Serah would want, which meant Lightning would gladly oblige. Serah loved watching the fireworks every year but would come home disappointed if Lightning wasn’t there with her.
Lightning wondered if she was disappointed in her right now.
Probably.
Serah still didn’t want to talk to her. In the days leading up to Lightning’s birthday her sister had grown strangely distant from her, struggling with some secret that she said ‘she just wasn’t ready to reveal’ yet. Apparently something unpleasant enough to act as a constant stressor throughout her day, which Lightning would have readily done anything to reprieve her of. Lightning had lost sleep over Serah losing sleep over it. She hated more than anything to see Serah suffering like this, but it hurt more than anything to know she couldn’t help her. She felt powerless, and powerless was a feeling she strove her whole life to avoid.
"Hey, did you make your wish on the fireworks?"
Some hopeful romantic behind her. Lightning tried to push it out of her mind. The notion of wishes or prayer had never appealed to her - she would rather act in the moment. Present decisions affect future conditions. But the thought kept persisting in her head, in the night sky as the fireworks continued to burst in color.
’Serah...'
She stopped there. She was already beginning to feel foolish from just standing and staring. Especially if she were still on-duty, then she surely would have quit stargazing several minutes ago. But, as luck would have it, she wasn’t. Amodar gave her time off. Said to think of herself and her sister.
Another image of a smiling Serah slides into her mind. Lightning wilted at the thought. She continued watching the sky but couldn’t will her sister’s sweet smile out of her head. She missed it, having not seen it in over a week. She had always been envious of it. Her own smile wasn’t nearly as charming, as much as Serah might have protested that just for Lightning’s own reassurance. Maybe she should wish for a better smile?
A spectacularly large firework boomed, scattering several colors in all directions. The crowd oohed, and Lightning tensely wondered how long she had been daydreaming instead of meditating on a solution to her, and Serah’s, problem.
'Serah... Whatever it is you're bottling inside you... I'm listening.'
Serah had said and revealed nothing to Lightning, and in doing so practically confirmed that it involved her. Which worried her more than she would have liked to admit. That meant Lightning truly was powerless to change any of this on her own. She couldn’t help Serah until she learned what she had done wrong. She admitted to not being the greatest sister. She worked herself too hard and cared for Serah too little. She was overprotective and overbearing, sometimes cold, sometimes quiet. She knew that, even if Serah had never said it.
Serah, on the other hand, was so much more than Lightning could have asked for. Kind, considerate, compassionate, an endlessly charming smile that she still couldn’t force out of her head... everything that she wasn’t.
But Lightning was willing to change, and she just hoped Serah was aware of that.
The fireworks continued to crackle and burst.
“Light! Hey!”
Serah’s voice. The only one that set off alarms in Lightning’s head as if an order to snap to attention. She hastily abandoned her thoughts and scanned the crowd turning and turning, unable to discern her direction when somebody collided with her back and wrapped their arms around her.
“Serah?”
“Yeah,” she giggled. “It’s me.”
Lightning made a split-second decision to not bring up Serah’s recent behavior. She didn’t want to spoil her night. It wasn’t as if she got to experience this spectacular show every day.
Serah then let her go, allowing her to turn around and face her.
“I went looking for you for a while, but there’s a lot of people out this year, not to mention you were on the opposite side of the beach.”
“Sorry. I was about to try and find you too, but like you said: a lot of people.”
“Thankfully there aren’t a lot of people with pretty pink hair. That at least made it easy to spot you.”
Another compliment, and another time that Lightning thought about returning it. She had received more than enough of them from Serah, especially, she noticed, over the last month, but she never objected. She didn’t expect to hear praises from anyone else anytime soon, nor did she care about hearing them from anyone else.
“You enjoying the show?” she asked, praying she wasn’t reacting to Serah’s casual compliment. She never was good at accepting them.
“You know it. This is one of the prettiest displays they’ve had,” Serah replied, a fascinated stare fixated on the sky. “What about you Lightning?”
Serah turned and smiled at her. That same charming smile that was sweet enough to distract Lightning’s unwavering attention from her cognition. It completely derailed her train of thought, so she fell back and attempted to grin back. She hoped it appeared as soft as she meant it.
“I, thought it would be hard to beat last year’s, but they’ve really outdone themselves. Not really sure why I’m surprised. They always come back bigger and better.”
Serah chuckled. Lightning frowned.
Now she was troubled by Serah’s present behavior, acting if nothing was wrong. Nothing could have changed over the course of one day to suddenly make everything better. Perhaps Serah reasoned with herself and got over whatever was eating her? Or merely acting cheerful in Lightning’s presence so as not to worry her?
Another decision crossed Lightning’s mind, and she inhaled a bolstering breath.
“Serah... whatever it is you’ve been meaning to tell me- I know I’m too harsh, but, I’m listening.”
A few seconds and she had said nothing back. Wrong decision. A quick, worried glance and she saw Serah looking down.
“I know you’re listening Lightning,” she quietly said. “You’re my sister, after all. That’s what you’re here for.”
“I might not be the best sister, like I said harsh, but-”
Serah slipped her arm between Lightning’s and stepped closer. The soldier found the action somewhat unordinary but paid it no mind.
“Not at all. I understand you Light, so quit worrying about it. You’re the best sister I could have asked for.”
Lightning was again perplexed by this. She always regarded herself as needlessly stringent with Serah, and not with any cruel intentions, simply to protect her. It’s always been about protecting Serah. She was all she had left. She loved Serah from the bottom of her heart, an unending well of affection that led her to cherish every second spent together, but she never acted that way. Affectionate. She couldn’t. There was some irrational part of Lightning’s being that deeply desired to keep those compassionate feelings away from Serah, overwhelming as they were at times.
She turned away and back to the fireworks. The formation had changed. They had added bigger, blazing shots that bursted in vivid streaks and showers. Brighter colors. The dome of wonder seemed almost like an enormous kaleidoscope, big enough that everyone could see and be amazed.
“Did you make your wish yet Lightning?”
“No... not yet. Did What about you?”
She happily nodded, meeting her sister’s gaze again. Lightning turned away again.
“I’m not sure what to wish for,” she quietly confessed.
“You don’t have to, you know. Knowing you, you probably don’t want to,” she faintly chuckled. “But it certainly wouldn’t hurt anything. Just wish for something you want.”
Lightning tried to think of anything she could have wanted, but she only drew blanks. She was satisfied with her work. Satisfied with her living arrangements. Her primary goal was taking care of Serah, and up until recently that had been going relatively smoothly. Bit by bit they were coming together. Lightning had little reason to doubt their relationship.
Up until recently, at least.
‘I, suppose I could wish for a closer relationship...’
Lightning was uprooted from the skyborne spectacles before she could think further on it when her sister let go of her arm. She watched Serah take her hands in her own, holding them tightly, feeling a weakening warmth climb through her fingers.
“Hey, Lightning?”
She listened, curious as to what could be distracting her. Serah adored the annual fireworks, always arriving early on the beach and staying late on the sands so she didn’t miss a single second.
And now she was gazing at Lightning, who immediately grew suspicious of her suddenly upfront approach.
“Yes?” Lightning asked, noting how her voice shook. She wasn’t sure why. She felt nervous, uncertain. A very foreign feeling that she wasn’t accustomed to. But Serah's smile seemed brighter than ever and pulled her thoughts away from everything else, like it radiated magnetism that she was forced to fall toward.
“You know I love you, right?”
That short statement shook the soldier to her core. She couldn’t remember the last time she had heard that from Serah. From her delicate, charming voice that she treasured so much. The smile and the sparkling eyes that were both closing. Coming closer.
Lightning registered the next second in slow-motion. Or maybe she didn’t register it at all. She saw Serah as she approached, unable to comprehend what was about to happen and then what was happening, the touch of her lips touching her own. Her first instinct was to back away, to fight it and to tear free and to run but another quieter thought compelled her to stay. Another foreign feeling Lightning decided to obey because Serah was imposing it so strongly upon her, so she would listen.
Serah’s surprise kiss was short, feeble almost, but she let it hang there for an eternity.
Mobilizing in Lightning’s system were reactions she was unaccustomed to. Her hands trembled, that same ticklish warmth beginning to infect her face as much as she tried to will it out. All Lightning could hear was her heartbeat. It hammered against her chest, in her ears. The explosions in the sky dwindled down to soft pops. The crowd surrounding them quieted like a muffled wave. She saw Serah’s eyes and Serah saw her eyes and she felt as if right now she was standing in the center of the world. Like the sudden influx of conflicting feelings were only orbiting around her and set on a collision course with one another if she didn't dare to intervene.
Serah leaned away. Sweeping her bangs out of her face and still smiling. She looked down at her feet with a sheepish grin, still holding Lightning’s hand, and turned back up to the fireworks.
Lightning did not understand. She was utterly bewildered, confused, totally at a loss. The warmth burning through her cheeks had spread up to her brain and turned it into disorganized thought.
“Sorry Light. I made a wish and, well, I wasn’t sure if I expected it to come true or not.”
“I, don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t. I don’t really know why either, but... when I say I love you, just know that I mean it. That’s what I’ve been having so much trouble telling you Lightning. I love you, more than I used to now. Way more than I thought I ever would."
Suddenly Serah’s arms were around her and her arms were around Serah. She had leaned in to hug her elder sister.
Lightning felt numb, yet her hands were shaking. She never felt so insistent on holding someone for so long or so tightly, but that was the only thing registering and lingering in her mind. She would have liked nothing more than to hold Serah like this forever and she was confused as to what that meant. She was experiencing a loss of control she had never experienced before, trying to make sense of the topsy-turvy wavelengths her heart and her head were miscommunicating.
“I know you don’t share the same sentiments,” Serah continued, unknowingly confusing her sister further. “I never really expected you to. But I couldn’t not let you know, so, here I am.”
Serah refused to meet her gaze. She looked absolutely defeated, sounded completely hopeless and that crushed Lightning.
“No, Serah, I..."
Lightning began the thought but didn’t know where she was planning to go with it. Where was there to go? It was either backwards or forwards, farther from or closer to Serah. There was no in between. She would have given anything to close the distance between them, but any closer would fundamentally change what their relationship was. She could settle with the love they shared now, forever rejecting her sister’s feelings, or accept Serah's sudden proposal to share something greater than that.
She wanted to make Serah feel better. Lightning at least understood that much in this sea of stewing emotions, disoriented as she was among the waves.
’Just wish for something you want,’ Serah had said.
She wanted to see Serah smile again. To protect her heart before it broke under the weight of her feelings. To hold her closer, embrace her in another hug, to... another decision sparked in Lightning’s head. One that she never would have imagined herself pondering.
Lightning removed her arms from Serah’s back to place them on her shoulders, pushing her away to look at her, then pulling her in to return the kiss. She suddenly felt like she was burning up, as if the crowd around had all turned their eyes on them but frankly, right now she didn’t give a damn if they were staring. She wanted to make sure Serah got the message, her lips acting as her deliverer since she couldn’t fathom the words to express herself. She gave in to the instinct, gut feeling, the quiet thought that told her to stay because she couldn’t see any way forward herself.
Serah drew in a breath the moment they parted, cutting off the voltage in Lightning’s lips. She couldn’t believe it. Her heart threatened to stop as soon as they touched but now she was worried it was going to burst.
“Lightning?” she mumbled in a lost breath.
“I... sorry, Serah. I just wanted you to know that, I love you too. I guess I just didn’t realize how much.”
She drew in a relieved breath to soothe her system. Lightning was alarmed by how quickly she had lost her cool. She had no strategy to follow, no earthly idea if she was making the right decision or starting down the right path, but now, Serah was smiling, face brightening as she realized what her sister was saying. Right choice.
She dove into Lightning’s arms once again, this time clutching her tightly and refusing to let go. Lightning understood; she had just granted her wish. She couldn’t help but smile, couldn’t help feeling refreshed and entirely overjoyed. She inhaled another deep breath and turned, admiring the fireworks and flares that continued to shower the sky.
Lightning would have loved nothing more than to hold Serah this close for the rest of the night, but she couldn’t rest easy until some fundamental questions had been answered. She had to pull Serah off of her.
“Serah, how long have you felt this way?” she asked once detaching her.
“A little more than a month,” Serah bashfully confessed. “I decided not to tell you on your birthday because I didn’t want to ruin it...”
Lightning chuckled, “Though it turns out you’re the best surprise gift I could have asked for.”
Serah laughed with her and stepped closer, her timid hand finding Lightning's, relieved to feel her welcoming grip.
“So, Light, how long have you felt this way about me?”
She asked it curiously and carefully, and Lightning intended to deliver a similar answer.
“I’m not sure myself,” she truthfully responded. “I think I always felt for you, but I chose to ignore it because I was afraid of ruining what we already had. I always stopped before I got ahead of myself.”
Serah thoughtfully hummed. She seemed satisfied with that conclusion, if not a little let down.
“Yeah, I almost didn’t believe myself at first when I realized I liked you. I was scared to be honest. How could I ever work up the courage to tell you?”
“But you did tell me, so thank you Serah. You don’t give yourself enough credit, you know. You were more courageous than me.”
“Sometimes it’s not about can or can’t. Some things you just do.” She smiled triumphantly at her sister, and turned back to the show in the sky.
“At least, that was what I wished for anyway. The courage to tell you.”
This time Lightning gave in to the spark of adoration she felt. She nodded and squeezed Serah’s hand.
“It started with your smile.”
“My smile? What about it?”
“I caught myself staring at it, more than I would care to admit to. After a time I realized that wanting to kiss you would come next, so I stopped myself before I did. I was too afraid of ruining what we already had.”
“Did you ever wish that you could kiss me?” Serah teased, giggling.
“I still haven’t made my wish yet,” Lightning reminded her, the ghost of a grin emerging on her lips.
Serah took her hand and wandered closer, simpering, “Well, we just found out tonight that wishes do come true.” She curiously looked at Lightning, clearly suggesting a wish for her since she couldn’t decide on one herself.
“You sure wished for a lot of courage,” Lightning returned with a sideways glance. Feeling the same nervousness rising in her like hot steam, she hesitantly leaned in to bestow another kiss, one that felt much steadier and sweeter than before. Serah warmly smiled back, and Lightning started melting from the heat.
And she finally noticed the bright lights in the sky were beginning to dim.
“You better make your wish soon Light, or you’ll be waiting another whole year,” Serah remarked.
“I don’t need to wish to be able kiss you anymore, so... I’ll just wish that we’ll still be together like this until next year comes around.”
“Then, what about next year?”
“I’ll wish we’ll be together until the next year,” Lightning simply said, astounded with how sappy it sounded.
Serah moved in to hug her again. Lightning held her close, and then held her hand until the fireworks ceased and shut down. They stood with each other on the quiet, darkened sands, sometimes staring at the now-powerless dome on the water, sometimes staring at each other, sometimes at the sky.
They shared a bashful silence on the way back to their house, giving each other much-needed space to think. Everything was different now. Every day forward would be different. Lightning still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t quite wrap her head around how different the next year would be. Happier yes, but different.
She usually avoided change if she could, but this was change that she was glad to go through. She had never held anyone’s hand before. She had never kissed anyone before. She could only describe her feelings as wondrous, and was endlessly thankful that Serah felt similarly. As long as Serah remained by her side, which their shared feelings practically ensured, then Lightning could deal with any other alterations life would throw at her.
The crew that worked the fireworks would certainly have to step up their game to beat this year, that was for sure.