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Revenant was blinded by a million sparkling lights reflected off of shiny glass the second he climbed in through the window. “What the crap is this?” he asked.
“My Christmas tree. Why are you coming in through the window when I have a door?”
“It’s easier to climb a wall than three flights of stairs,” he replied. He walked around the Christmas tree eyeing it up, from the shiny glass baubles that reflected lights with glistening sparkles to the tinsel hanging off the branches. He lifted some of it and gave it a squeeze, marveling at how soft and squishy it was. “Is this vintage tinsel? Isn’t this stuff banned because it’s made of lead?”
“The tree is also banned because it’s made of asbestos,” Ash said. “I’m not taking any chances with you burning my tree to the ground again this year.” She held a lighter to the tinsel and waved it around the artificial needles. “Completely fireproof.”
“How is it my fault I was smoking indoors after you told me not to?” Revenant said.
He eyed the baubles closer. There was a strange, hypnotic allure to the baubles. He stared at them closely, the way they glittered in the light, the subtle icicle effect of the vintage tinsel draping over them glistening like real ice. Why was it calling to him, like a siren song luring him into the deep? Why was he so fascinated with them? Unless…he was supposed to play with them! Ha! It made sense now!
Ash had her back turned in the kitchen as she made up a fancy cheese and cracker board for her rat’s relatives when they arrived for Christmas dinner. “Of course, flammable or not, you will leave the tree alone,” she said.
Revenant tapped one of the baubles with the very tip of one claw and delighted at the subtle tapping sound. “Why is that?”
“Everything on it is vintage,” she said. “Those baubles were first on a tree during the second world war.”
The bauble shattered under his clawful tapping. He looked over his shoulder. Ash didn’t seem to notice. He picked the glass pieces up and put them in a vase to hide the evidence and noticed something else was in there. Oh yeah. He forgot he’d hidden Ash’s phone in there when he broke that too. And the remote to her window shutters was in there too.
“I paid a lot for all of this from an antique shop,” she said as she continued to keep her back turned.
Revenant’s eyes hyperfocused like the scope on a sniper rifle as he was tempted to touch another bauble. But no…he couldn’t touch them. They were expensive! Well…maybe if he didn’t use his claws.
He batted at the bauble back and forth with both hands as Ash added a few grapes to her cheese board. “Why do you need a tree?” he asked.
“So you know where to put the present you’re getting me,” she replied. “And it better be a new cellphone to replace the one you broke and hid inside my vase.”
The bauble fell and shattered on the floor. Ash turned around right after he hid the remains in the vase. “What? No! I would never!” he insisted.
“Why does it look like there are gaps on my tree? I arranged the baubles in the most geometrically pleasing way I could map out, and now two of them appear to be missing.”
“No idea,” Revenant said before leaning against the vase and knocking it over. It shattered on the ground, revealing its contents to Ash. “Someone broke that…” he said before sweeping it all under the couch with one foot.
She hastily stepped closer and moved baubles around to hide the gaps. “You are not to touch my tree, simulacrum!”
“How am I supposed to put your gift under it if I can’t touch it?”
“Put it on the floor and slide it over!” she demanded. There was a buzzing sound, alerting her to a delivery downstairs. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get the packages I ordered. They contain a vintage fire resistant star for the top of the tree.”
Revenant stared at the tree as she left. It was okay. He just had to keep his hands to himself. Do not touch the tree. Or its hypnotic baubles. She didn’t say he couldn’t touch the tinsel though…
He squeezed a heavy mass and watched it squish together. It felt so satisfying to the touch, and the weight was nice, like playing with the edge of a weighted blanket. He gave it a pull, tugging down on the branch, and let it go. It flipped back upright with a satisfying thump. He did it again, releasing it to another satisfying thump, and watched as six more baubles slid off the tree and fell off.
He stared at the broken glass and looked at the rat, sitting on the edge of the couch and nibbling a piece of chocolate. “What did you do?” he asked. He quickly swept up the glass before she could return and blame Revenant for what the rat clearly did!
He sat on the couch and stared at the tree. Okay. He just had to stop touching it. He sat on his hands to avoid the temptation. He could just admire it from afar. How the tinsel glittered. The lights reflecting off the perfect vintage baubles. The asbestos lined tree that would probably ravage his lungs if he still had them to ravage. He wondered what asbestos felt like when you ran your long, thin fingers along it?
No! He wasn’t supposed to touch! But if no touch, why was it left within touching distance? Unless…he actually was supposed to jump on it! It made sense now!
Ash came back with her packages. “There were some carolers outside that refused to leave. I don’t know what figgy pudding is or why they refuse to leave without it, so I just assumed they wanted me to spray them with dirty brown water from a hose and made sure to drench them so they would…Kaleb, what are you doing?”
Revenant was in crouching position in front of the tree. “I have to touch it!” he said.
“No! Bad!” she said before spraying him with the water bottle. He hissed at her and ran behind the couch like a cat. “Stay away from that tree!” she demanded.
Ash hastily opened the box from her delivery. Withdrawing the vintage star, she examined it and was pleased with its quality.
“Perfect. As all things should be,” she said before extending her arm to put it on top of the tree.
A red blur was all she could see before there was no tree. The sound of shattering glass signaled the end of her expensive vintage WWII baubles. Revenant lay on his belly on top of the mess, eating a mouthful of tinsel, because clearly that’s what you were supposed to do with tinsel, right?
“Someone broke this,” he said when he realized she was standing over him, arm still outreached with the star in hand.
“I’m scraping your stocking stuffers off the bottom of the rat cage this year,” Ash said.