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Mike would be lying if he said he hasn’t been staring at Will’s unconscious state since they laid him down on that couch at the radio station. Apparently everyone knows how much of a worrywart he can be when it comes to Will. Hell, they might’ve assured him more than they did with Joyce. They tell him not to worry, that this is what happens whenever something like this happens. Has it never occurred to any of them that this shouldn’t be normal? Passing out every now and then due to violent visions—and now sudden abilities, shouldn’t be his “normal”.
He’s seen it. He has seen how exhausted Eleven can get after defeating just one demogorgan. Will had single handedly defeated not just one, but three. Mike knows just how selfless Will can be. How can he not? He probably knows Will more than he knows himself. And with that curse—no, knowing Will can never be a curse. It’s more of an ability; and this ability also comes with noticing just how distant he’s been with Mike, often forcing Mike to initiate a lot of their interactions.
He misses it. He misses his Will. Fuck—he probably shouldn’t be calling him his Will. Will has never been his, and probably never will be. How can he look at Mike the same way Mike does after everything he’s done to him? How many times can you fuck it up with your best friend before it becomes selfish of you to want anything from them? He’s probably passed that line long ago. He deserves it. Unfortunately, Mike can be selfish.
Before Mike can try and entertain himself with even more self-deprecating thoughts, Will begins to stir.
“Will?”
Almost as if he’d been activated by his voice, Will’s eyes snap open.
“.. Mike? What-“
“Hey. You’re finally up. Uh- How are you feeling?”
Will lightly chuckles before replying to him. Mike would put it in his top 10 favorite sounds; he might as-well have it as his first overall.
“Like shit. Feels like a demodog is running rampant inside my head, but I’m fine.”
“I mean, of course. What you did… It was pretty intense.”
“… oh, that… Mike-“
“Very cool of you, hah. Seriously though, Will… you- you saved me; It wasn’t just me, no—no, it was Robin and Lucas too. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”
“I don’t know how it happened…it felt like I had to do something, and it just happened? I saw you—and everyone else through his eyes and just…”
Mike had deemed it impossible for his swelling love to squeeze his heart any more than it already has, but there goes Will doing the impossible again. Will, selfless and kind Will. How did Mike manage to suppress his feelings for someone as divine as Will?
“Yeah, no. I really thought that was it.”
Mike wouldn’t have minded dying if Will was the last thing on his mind, but he can’t say that. Though, something had been bothering and he just needed to voice it out to Will.
“I remember thinking just- well, nevermind. It’s over now. Well, not really? Will, you unearthed something, and now this whole burden is going to come crashing down on you. Especially with Eleven down there—and god do I know you—I know you so well, and of course you’re going to try and sacrifice yourself once again. Will, if something happens to you again, I don’t know if-“
“Mike! Slow down, okay? My head still hurts y’know?”
“Oh god. I’m- I’m so sorry. There I go again…”
“I’m.. not going to try and deny that. Mike, don’t you see it? I can do something. I-I can help defeat him alongside El now, and-“
He knows that Will is right. He knows that with Will now, their chances of winning were higher. But he also knows that he can’t protect Will anymore. The thought of even letting him deliberately walk into deaths door?
“Will, please. We don’t even know your true capabilities. What if it was just a one time thing? What… what if you’re face-to-face with him and you’re not as strong as you thought you were; And—no, god, I’m not suggesting you’re weak. Will, you might be the bravest person I know. You’re anything but weak. But… what if you can’t do it again? what if you get hurt and then god knows I can’t handle—fuck, forget I said that. I’m just being paranoid.”
Although he told him to forget it, unfortunately, it seems to have caught Will’s full attention. Will slowly starts to sit up, wincing as he remembers the pounding in his head. He looks down and starts fidgeting with his jacket—Mike’s jacket actually. Will seems to notice this and makes an unreadable expression. Eventually, he looks back up at Mike.
“No, it’s fine. Uh- continue…?”
“Will, forget it. It’s stupid… well, not really. Will-“
“Mike, it’s fine. Go on. I’m listening, I promise.”
“It’s just… you know the date, right? It’s almost the 6th. The same day you went missing. I just don’t think I can handle that again. Will, not knowing where you were, if you were alive? People called Joyce crazy, but I might have been just as crazy. I mean—no offense to your mom. Obviously, she was right and—I’m rambling. My point is, Will, I can’t handle losing you again. I mean, we—we can’t handle losing you again. Eleven has dealt with this before. She’s fought him, she’s trained; but.. Will… you’re fragile cargo. What if… what if you break?”
Fuck, Mike shouldn’t have said it that way. Mike never thought of Will as weak nor fragile. In his eyes, Will could do no wrong. But he can’t help feeling this way. Only god knows how Mike would react if anything happened to him.
“Stop that. Stop speaking like that—as if I’m that same boy who went missing that day. Mike, it’s different now. I am connected to Vecna. Don’t you see it? We can defeat him once and for all!”
“You don’t know that!”
“Neither do you, Mike! Just let me do this. Let me help you all, even if it is the last thing I do.”
“What? Are you fucking insane? Just the thought of entertaining the fact that you could die makes me sick, Will! . How—how can you be this careless?”
Please don’t figure it out , please don’t figure it out, please don’t figure it out, please—
“Careless?! Really, that’s how you think of me?”
Good. Hate me. Be like that. I deserve it.
“No, Will.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just…”
Mike sighs, moving from his chair and sinking next to Will. He begins to speak again.
“Listen, I’m just saying that we don’t know anything. This—this is crazy, Will.”
“Mike, you said it yourself. You’ve had crazier theories. What’s wrong with proving this one?”
“Because it puts you in direct danger. We can’t lose you again. I wont let you go through that again, leave you under his control knowing that there’s nothing I can do! Do you know how I felt? It felt like I was the only one who cared about you then.”
Will looks down at Mike’s quivering hand, hesitantly placing his own hand on Mike’s, almost as if he’s testing the waters.
“Mike…”
“All I know is that Vecna is now stronger than ever. He has the kids. Sure, defeating a few demogorgons all at once? That’s fucking sick. Going face-to-face against Vecna? No, we’ll plan something; we’ll get these kids, get El’s help, bring them back, kill Vecna and figure out a way to destroy the upside down once and for all-“
Will turns his body around, completely facing Mike now. He grips Mike’s hand even tighter, a determined expression now on his gorgeous face.
“Why does this all have to fall on El? Don’t you get it? I’m sick and tired of this. I just wanna do something back. If even being there increases our chances of winning, I’ll take it. Anything, Mike. I mean it. This is so important to me and none of you get it!”
Mike can feel him getting increasingly agitated. Will never raises his voice. He never wanted this; he never wanted to upset Will. He weakly opens his mouth, trying to salvage what’s left.
“Don’t. Don’t say that. You’re not the only one in this Will-“
“Yes! Yes I am! It started with me! What if it has to end with me too!?”
Mike’s heart might’ve actually dropped deep down to his feet then. Harming Will is one thing, but this?
“Don’t even joke like that. It’s not funny. I’m — we’re not losing you again, not permanently.”
“Why’re you so hell bent on this? You love and care so much for Eleven, yet you let her go down there without any hesitation-“
“Because it’s different! It’s not the same. God, you and El? And—love? God, that ended months ago. I should’ve told you this. I know it’s not the right time, but we ended it. Of course I still care for her, but you?”
Shit, I need to stop talking.
“Mike-“
I really, really need to stop talking now —
“Fuck, it’s you. It’s you, Will.”
Mike watches as Will’s face contorts into a million new expressions, not knowing which one he should land on.
“… W- What?”
He’s gonna hate me. Oh god he already hates me. I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up. Stop talking Mike!
“You. You’re the one I love.”
And then it’s silent. Will seems to be frozen up, unable to get any words out.
Mike exhales. He had gone and royally fucked up. There is no going back now. The cat’s out of the bag; he might as well continue speaking. He looks down, drowning in shame, eyes landing on Will’s hand, still lingering on his.
“Listen, I really don’t wanna freak you out and you don’t have to say anything. You—you can even forget I ever said this but… Fuck, I’ve been holding this in for so long. I think I’ve known this for a while now. Remember what I asked you that day on the swingset? I said it was the best choice I ever made. I really meant it. I think—I think I’m the best version of myself when I’m with you. I always felt something different towards you compared to our other friends. I think everyone around me noticed this faster than I did. You mean a lot to me, way more than I ever thought you did.”
He can feel it. He can feel Will’s eyes burning holes into him, desperately trying to catch his eyes. Mike couldn’t look at him, he just couldn’t bear watching as Will rejected him. He’d be kind about it, like he always is. He’d shut it down, gently reminding Mike that there will never be a chance that he’d ever look at him the same way. Strangely, despite his confession, Will continues to hold onto his hands, even going as far as interlacing their fingers together. Doesn’t he understand that this only hurts him even more?
“I know I can be a dick sometimes—most times, really. I know it’s selfish of me to ever consider you this way, despite all the things I’ve done. You deserve more than I could ever be, Will. I cant even try to hold a candle next to what you truly deserve. It’s so hard to say it, but because of you, I was able to admit it to myself. I’ve always been in love with you. It’s even more selfish of me to say that I was hurt when you’d distance yourself from me… I knew that I deserved it for these disgusting thoughts, yet I still—“
Before he can continue, Mike hears a choked breath in-front of him. He steals a glance at Will, and—
Will was crying.
No, crying would be an understatement. Will was bawling. Mike knew that there was a chance this would hurt him, but he didn’t expect this at all. That’s all he seems to do nowadays; he only knows how to take, and take, and take—
Will, his lovely Will, drops his head on his shoulders, unable to hold himself anymore. Wow, was it really that bad? Mike didn’t know what to do; of course, his younger self would’ve known exactly what to do. Will is crying on his shoulders and here he is, reminiscing the old days.
He offers an embrace, completely enveloping Will with his arms. Will melts into him, and Mike watches as he impossibly shakes with even more sobs. He hesitantly runs his fingers along his back, offering a comforting stroke. Maybe that’ll help? He decides that maybe he should try and say something, he can try that at-least…
“Will, it—it’s okay. I shouldn’t have spoken, I’m sorry—“
“Shut up. You—You don’t even know…”
Deciphering his words proved to be hard when he sounded this muffled, but he managed to understand nonetheless.
“What..? What don’t I know?”
Will lifted his head up, his beautiful face stained with wet streaks. Mike’s fingers itched to reach out and wipe his face, and what is he if he isn’t selfish? Mike’s hands shook as he messily tried to wipe his face, but the tears just wouldn’t stop running. Will wasn’t stopping him, so it must be doing something… right?
“Mike, I don’t even know how to word this…“
Just hurry up and call me disgusting so I can move on, please—
And then, with the most delicate tone ever, Will asks Mike an unbelievable question. Really, the nature of it was something one could only dream of.
“Can I… Can I kiss you?”
Mike chokes on his own words, despite being a writer, he couldn’t find any fitting words to reply.
“…W-What?”
Before Mike could process anything, Will’s lips were on his. It was light, but it was confirmation. It was a simple press and it was gone before Mike could try and press any further.
Despite everything, Will leaned back and looked at him as if he had hung all of the stars for him. His eyes were full of so much love and admiration—Mike couldn’t believe it. Will, the one he’d yearned after for as long as he could remember, was finally reciprocating.
“I love you too. I always have, Mike. I’m not as good at using my words the way you are, but… I’ve always known. It’s always been you.”
Mike gave in to that growing lump in his throat, finally letting his tears slip. He reached out, pulling Will into an impossibly tighter embrace. In that moment, nothing mattered more than the both of them. They held each other as they cried, and when Mike felt ready, he looked at Will. Although everything in him told him this was wrong, he knew that this was right. Nothing was wrong with Will, and as long as he had him, everything would be right too.