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Cal is terrified. He doesn't mind admitting it because right now there are so many reasons to be terrified out here that no one's going to pay attention. Everyone thinks he's worried for Juliet, because if anyone screws up on this, she's the one at ground zero, and she hasn't been in the thick of things before. Nikko's a born troublemaker, and has Solomon with him anyway, but Juliet's on her own.
It's true, he is worried about Juliet. He's even worried about Solomon and Nikko, depending on him to have cracked the security codes. What truly terrifies him, what he's determined that no one else is going to find out, is himself.
Cal is getting comfortable with Nikko around, and that terrifies him more than he can say.
It was OK when having Nikko around put him on edge, made him find that extra bit of skill and smarts to prove that he was the best, or at least better than Nikko. That way he was keyed up, making sure that his thoughts didn't run into forbidden channels. Solomon would kill him if he knew the directions those thoughts occasionally take, and Cal honestly wouldn't blame him.
Discovering that you're probably bisexual is one thing, and Cal knows that he won't get any grief from the others about that even while he totally cringes at the thought of the inevitable heart-to-heart with his father-substitute. Discovering that said father-substitute's son is the one to set your pulse racing is quite another. That is one conversation that is just not going to happen.
So yes, Cal has to admit to himself that Nikko is physically attractive, very smart, cute when he cracks those little sarcastic jokes of his, and this is so not where Cal was trying to take this thought. Because he could cope while Nikko was also arrogant, self-centered and determined to make Cal look like a fool. A pretty face only goes so far, and Cal was well on his way to burning off his crush.
Then this afternoon Nikko hung around while Cal worked and just watched him. Oh, they talked about this and that, nothing important, but Nikko didn't fidget, didn't try to disrupt Cal, didn't do any of the hundred and one annoying things that Cal usually has to block out when Nikko's near. All the time, Cal was aware of being observed, and now he has time to think about it it's freaking him out.
It was nice. Cal liked having Nikko's attention on him, which is kind of hypocritcal after all the bitching he's done about Nikko trying to become the centre of attention. Also far too encouraging for that crush, because a treasonous part of Cal's mind is insisting that Nikko liked watching him or he wouldn't have done it. All he needs now is for Nikko to demonstrate some sort of caring about other people as well as respecting their space, and Cal's reasons for disliking him will start to look pretty flimsy.
Cal thinks — hopes to God — that he didn't give away any of his feelings this afternoon. He wasn't paying any attention to what he said at the time, didn't really register how much danger he was in of blurting out something better left unsaid. Whether he did or didn't, it's got to stop. This mustn't go any further, and not just because Solomon would fire whatever was left of his ass after chewing him out. Veritas is a team, and he doesn't want to think of what his crush would do to the team. It could get people killed.
Which is why he's standing here, waiting for Juliet, working himself up to flirt with her for real. It's no hardship at all. He's always thought Juliet was the sort of woman he wanted to marry — brilliant and beautiful — but he knows how bad he is at this sort of thing and he was happy enough just to work with her.
Now he needs to make it clear that he loves her, to her and him both. To Solomon and Nikko too, as they watch and wait for their cue, and where the hell is Nikko? He'd better not be goofing off again, not that any of the night clubs around here are up to his standards—
God, Juliet looks gorgeous tonight.