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CHAPTER ONE — GLITTER AND CRIMSON, FIGHTING THE FRICTION
It all started in their junior year, when they’d been invited to Fallinel for the Moonar Yulenear.
Gorgug was in the kitchen, pouring mugs of hot cider for himself and his party. He wondered just how many of them he could actually carry in one trip and tried to picture it in his head, but every outcome led to disaster and sticky floors. With his master plan foiled by his lack of dexterity, he called out for Fabian to come help him carry the cups.
“Fabian,” he called, elongating the A sounds in his name.
“Yes?” Fabian called back, similarly elongating the E in the word.
“Come help me carry these cups,” Gorgug said.
“On it,” Fabian said.
Moments later, Fabian walked into the kitchen and made a beeline for the counter where Gorgug had placed the cups. They could each carry three, so they wouldn’t have to make more trips to get all of them.
As they walked from the kitchen to the living room, the two bumped into each other in the doorway, as Gorgug was almost certainly too big for someone else to walk through a door at the same time as him. Luckily, no cider was spilled.
Fabian handed all three of his cups out, setting one down in front of Fig, Riz, and Adaine in turn. Gorgug set a cup down in front of Kristen and handed the remaining one to Fabian.
“I think a group toast is in order!” Fig suggested. She held her cup aloft, motioning for the others to join her.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Kristen said, holding her cup against Fig’s and waiting for the others to join them.
“Alright, alright, but make it quick. The cider’s gonna be cold by the time you finish whatever speech you have in your head,” Riz said. He stood on the couch to reach the others’ cups and held his arm out as far as he could.
Adaine made no remark, she simply smiled at her friends and held her cup to the rest. Gorgug motioned for Fabian to lift his cup, and it didn’t take more than that for him to agree. Finally, Gorgug held his cup to the group and looked to Fig to start the toast.
“To our badass group!” Fig said.
“To me, for somehow not getting expelled,” Kristen added.
“To me, for figuring out ways for Fig and Kristen to stay in school,” Riz said, laughing.
“To all of us, for kicking Kipperlilly’s ass in this election,” Adaine said.
“To my family, for paying for you ingrates to come to Fallinel for the Moonar Yulenear,” Fabian teased.
“To us,” Gorgug finished.
After a cheer and a sip of cider, the group returned to their seats and settled in for a hilariously bad movie.
“Gods above, Mallhark really does have some shitty ones,” Kristen said.
“Ooh, stop, stop,” Fig said. “Yep, this one. It’s about the old Human myth of Santa Claus.”
“Stop, oh my gods! My parents used to go on and on about how much they hated that story!” Kristen laughed.
Gorgug was zoned out of his friends’ conversation. His focus was split between his now empty cup and the TV. The movie truly was very bad, but he wasn’t really watching it. He opted instead to gather up everyone’s cups and bring them back to the kitchen. He stood up, holding out his hand so everyone could place their glasses into a neat stack. He carefully stepped over and around toes and into the kitchen. Fabian stood up as well, following Gorgug out of the living room.
Gorgug put the cups down into the sink and figured he may as well wash them and get out of another few minutes of that godawful movie. He turned on the water and rooted the cabinet below the sink for a sponge.
Fabian did not intend to help Gorgug by drying or putting the cups away, but he did intend to do something other than watch that terrible movie. He hopped up onto the counter and watched Gorgug wash the cups.
“You’d think they’d want to watch something that doesn’t make you want to jump out of a window on the Moonar Yulenear,” Fabian said.
Gorgug smiled and huffed out a small laugh. He was washing the glasses slowly, taking his time to scrub every part of them for as long as was reasonable. “Yeah, you would think that, unfortunately, these are our friends we’re talking about,” he said.
Fabian shook his head. “Yeah, I suppose so,” he said. He swung his legs in the air a bit, his toes not quite touching the ground from his perch on the counter.
“It’s better than a monologue from your grandpa, at least,” Gorgug teased.
“Hardy har.” Fabian rolled his eye and stretched his leg out to gently poke Gorgug with his foot.
“Sorry, sorry,” Gorgug laughed. He placed the glass he held onto the drying rack next to the sink and started on the next one.
“Yeah, yeah,” Fabian said. His words didn’t do much to hide the fact that he was smiling like a fool.
A silent moment.
“Gorgug?” Fabian said, looking down at his hands.
“Mm?” Gorgug hummed in response, focused on the soapy cup in his own hands.
“I’m really glad we met,” Fabian said. He looked up at Gorgug and traced his eye up and down his face.
“I’m glad we met too, Fabes,” Gorgug said. “Who’d have thought I’d ever be spending the Yulenear on Fallinel.” He rinsed the cup in his hands slowly, then placed it next to the previous one on the drying rack.
Fabian smiled. “Yeah, I haven’t really been either—outside of visiting family, you know,” he said. “It’s really nice to be here with you—guys.” He added the guys part hastily.
“Agreed,” Gorgug said plainly. He didn’t look over at Fabian, but his peripheral vision was good enough that he caught a glimpse of him fidgeting with his hands. Gorgug chose not to pay much mind to this; he had a Yulenear to celebrate after these cups were washed.
“Hey, Gorgug, I lo—” Fabian was interrupted by Kristen shouting from the living room.
“Gorgug! Fabian! Get in here! They’re killing Santa!” Kristen shouted.
“On our way, I’m just washing these cups,” Gorgug replied. He rolled his eyes slightly, but still smiled as he did so. “The things we do for our friends,” he said as he shook his head.
“You’re telling me,” Fabian said. He still swung his legs ever so slightly, fidgeted with his fingers. He told himself it was because he was cold, but he didn’t want to pay it much mind.
Gorgug quickened his pace and finished washing the remaining glasses in a couple of minutes. He dried his hands and nodded his head toward the living room, motioning for Fabian to follow him. Neither of them noticed the piece of mistletoe that had been hung from the doorway.
As they made the short walk from the kitchen to the living room, they repeated their mistake of trying to walk through the doorway at the same time, and bumped shoulders again.
“Oooh,” Fig sounded. “Now you have to kiss.” She pointed to the top of the doorway, where Gorgug’s head was just about an inch away from brushing the mistletoe that had been quickly hung there.
“That’s the rules, boys, you gotta kiss now!” Kristen joined in Fig’s teasing.
Riz and Adaine just rolled their eyes and tucked themselves further into the blankets on the couch.
“Come on, don’t be shy! Kiss the man!” Fig had raised her voice slightly, but neither Gorgug nor Fabian could tell if she was being serious or not.
Gorgug sneered slightly at the girls poking fun at them while Fabian turned to him and shrugged; he leaned in closer to Gorgug. “What’s the harm?” he whispered.
“None, I don’t think. Shall we give the people what they want?” Gorgug asked playfully.
Fabian smiled and theatrically opened his arms. “Come ‘ere, big boy,” he said. He placed his hand onto Gorgug’s cheek and planted a quick kiss on his right cheek.
Fig and Kristen were in hysterics, each clutching their stomach and laughing so hard that tears threatened to fall from their eyes.
Gorgug feigned shock and held his hand up to his cheek. He leaned down and kissed Fabian’s right cheek, lips slightly brushing one of the straps of his eyepatch. Fabian pursed his lips and inhaled sharply. He thanked the gods above that it was too dark in the living room for his friends to see that he was blushing a very incriminating shade of red.
Fig and Kristen did not stop laughing, and Gorgug could hear the faint sound of Adaine giggling from the couch.
Gorgug pulled away just as soon as he’d placed his lips on Fabian’s cheek, shot him a wink, and nodded toward the couch. Fabian averted his eye and prayed that Gorgug wasn’t going to have one of his rare moments of insight.
Fig wiped her eyes and applauded the two as they plopped down into their places on the couch. Kristen joined them; Adaine gave them polite golf claps; Riz pinched the bridge of his nose, but was still smiling.
The climax of the movie was bad enough that it distracted from any tension there might have been, causing shouts and confused hollers from each and every one of the Bad Kids.
It was a very merry Moonar Yulenear.
CHAPTER TWO — I WONDER IF YOU FEEL KINDA LIKE I FEEL
In their senior year, the Bad Kids held their Moonar Yulenear celebration at Seacaster Manor. With Hallariel and Gilear off to Fallinel once again, Fabian had free rein of the mansion.
He had held a Yulenear Eve blowout the day before, and today was to be a smaller party—more of a get-together, really—for himself and his friends. The blowout had left most of his party members with pounding headaches, so they were glad that it was just them this Yulenear.
As the Bad Kids filed into Seacaster Manor, it was immediately apparent that they’d had much more fun last night than was wise. Kristen was, in her typical fashion, wearing rather dramatic sunglasses and bemoaning her headache; Riz’s forehead vein was more pronounced than ever, having tried his very hardest to make sure this Yulenear party was well-planned through the alcohol impairing him; Gorgug had been the designated driver the night before since they’d each wanted to spend the morning with their families, so was doing his best to comfort Kristen; Fig seemed almost supernaturally immune to the hangover symptoms the rest had been experiencing, and was loudly complimenting Fabian on the previous night’s party; Adaine, for her part, was quietly nursing a bottle of water on the couch and staring into the lit fireplace, as the Cleric was presently occupied by her own hangover; Fabian was chock-full of ibuprofen and ready to have a quiet, pleasant afternoon and evening with his best friends.
Gorgug offered to hunt down some drinks in the kitchen—quickly clarified that he meant non-alcoholic drinks when he saw the look on Kristen’s face—and got up to find or make something nice for them all to drink. He walked down the hallway to the kitchen, hoping he remembered where the kitchen was despite his many years of experience walking through that house. Thankfully, he did find a kitchen he recognized and began hunting through the fridges for any hints to what he could put together. Most of it was alcohol and various mixers for it, but there were also plenty of sodas and bar accoutrements meant for the bartender Fabian had hired. There was a half-full bottle of a red syrup—grenadine, right?—along with a mostly empty jar of maraschino cherries.
It was probably too cold outside for shirley temples, but they’d simply have to deal with it, he figured. He shrugged, pulled out some cans of Sprite and placed them on the counter. The bottle of grenadine and jar of cherries were sticky enough to give Gorgug some reservations as to their safety for consumption, but they smelled normal enough, so went next to the cans.
The only cups Gorgug was able to find were the plastic sort, leftover from the night before. There was a sleeve of them left unopened among the wreckage, so he took six of them and began his work. He popped a can of Sprite open and closely looked at the green can and cheerful fey mascot’s logo to make sure this wasn’t the alcoholic variety. Satisfied that it was indeed 0% ABV, he poured a reasonable amount into the cups in front of him, praying that there would be enough for each of them to have one. Luckily, there was even a can leftover after he’d filled each of the cups. Having filled the cups, Gorgug unscrewed the bottle of grenadine—the good kind, made from actual pomegranates, not just an almost-cherry flavored syrup dyed red—and topped off the cups with it. The drinks fizzed slightly, red color slowly spreading down. He picked up the nearly empty jar of cherries and grimaced at the sticky feeling on his hands as he unscrewed the lid. He’d thought that if there weren’t quite enough cherries, he’d just hand Kristen and himself the ones without, as she likely wouldn’t notice. Luckily, there were exactly six cherries left in the jar. They were a bit battered, being the only ones left, but they would serve. He plopped one into each of the cups and thoroughly washed his hands before admiring his work.
Given that he hadn’t grown trays for hands in the past year, he regretted not calling one of his friends to come with him while he made the drinks. He pulled his crystal out of his pocket and texted Fig to come help him, as she was probably the only one not fighting a headache. She responded that she was sending Fabian with a little kiss emoji—Kristen must have been rubbing off on her.
[Where Kristen and Fig got the idea to hang up some of the previous night’s decorations, nobody knows, but it was a genius one to their minds. They remembered last year’s entertainment and thought it was worth a shot to try and get the boys to repeat the act. Besides, they figured they could join in the fun and get a couple kisses in this time.]
Fabian protested being voluntold to help Gorgug, as Fig was actually able to be in a room with an overhead light without squinting her eyes shut, but groaned and accepted the task anyway. With a quick flick of his middle finger towards Fig, he set off toward the kitchen.
[There’s been a bit of a seed growing inside of Fabian that he’s been trying very hard to ignore. He’d forgotten about last year’s mistletoe fiasco until a few days ago. The season reminded him of the pang of hot, sweet affection that little kiss planted in his chest. Instead of hot chocolate and gingerbread, Fabian’s mind was on Gorgug. He’d been shocked he wasn’t falling all over Gorgug with how drunk he’d been last night, but was incredibly glad of that fact. If he was being honest, if he got the chance, he’d love to kiss Gorgug again—on the cheek, that is. He shook that thought out of his head before walking into the kitchen and tried very hard to pretend he didn’t understand the way he was looking at Gorgug.]
Fabian poked his head into the kitchen to see Gorgug putting ice into the cups. He was too damn cute for his own good, his hair steadily was growing out and often tied up in a knot, his new ear piercings glinting in the light whenever he moved, a little cuff on his left tusk; a gift from Gorbag when he’d turned 18. Fabian couldn’t stand to look at Gorgug for too long or his mind would start to wander in a less than friendly direction. Gorgug looked up and smiled, snapping Fabian out of his little daydream and into a reality where he really had a crush on his friend.
“Whatcha hiding for?” Gorgug pushed himself off of the counter and moved to grab up three of the cups.
“Just trying to scare you,” Fabian fibbed. He picked up the remaining cups and let Gorgug lead the way out of the kitchen. He took a moment to hold his breath and slow his heartbeat before following.
“You’d be losing yourself a gourmet beverage if you did that, I could have dropped one,” Gorgug said. He walked slowly, eyes down on the cups in his hands to make sure they didn’t spill.
Fabian just huffed a laugh in response, picking up his pace and walking ahead of Gorgug. The message was clear: let’s race.
It was hardly going to be a race, what with the full cups and very short distance they were speed-twalking, but they were nevertheless determined to one-up each other by reaching the living room first.
[Giggling and standing on a step-stool pulled from Adaine’s jacket, just barely tall enough to let her reach the doorframe, Kristen fixed a bit of mistletoe—really just a bit of red tinsel knotted into a bow and tied onto a string of green tinsel. It didn’t quite look the part, but Kristen’s hungover mind thought it was a genius idea. Even if Fabian’s lame ass decorations didn’t include some real mistletoe, she was an enterprising woman and would get her friends to kiss each other someway, somehow.]
Fabian stepped into the living room just a fraction of a second before Gorgug, cementing his win in their little race. Kristen and Fig clapped lazily as Fabian gloated. Kristen couldn’t contain her laughter and began giggling uncontrollably, pointing above the boys’ heads. Gorgug looked up, half expecting to see gullible written on the ceiling, but instead saw the makeshift mistletoe. If it weren’t for the carefully balanced drinks in his hands, he would have facepalmed and punched Kristen’s shoulder a little bit. As it was, he just glanced toward Fabian.
Fabian was kind of freaking out. He was praying that nobody would notice the redness he felt creeping up into his cheeks and looked over to Gorgug, searching for his answer to Kristen’s little joke.
“We’re doing this again?” Gorgug asked. More to himself than anyone else, but Kristen still nodded and kept laughing. He raised an eyebrow at Fabian and shrugged—almost exactly the same as last year—and asked lowly, “what do you think?”
Fabian just shrugged, not wanting to give away how badly he wanted Gorgug to kiss him. “I don’t see why not,” he said.
“Then I suppose we have ourselves a tradition,” Gorgug said, loud enough for the room to hear. He leaned down just enough to peck a kiss onto Fabian’s cheek.
Fabian returned the little kiss, sure that Gorgug could feel the heat radiating from his red cheeks. He knew that Gorgug was merciful and wouldn’t bring it up; not here, not now. It shouldn’t have been so overwhelming, this was something he greeted his Elven family with, but it was so much different with Gorgug.
Hungover and ignorant to Fabian’s pining, their audience clapped and hooted; Fig wolf-whistled, Kristen hollered with laughter, Riz golf-clapped politely, and Adaine was nodding off with her blanket on top of her.
Gorgug just rolled his eyes and began handing out drinks. Kristen sniffed hers, despite Gorgug’s assurance that it was just Sprite. Riz and Fig gladly took theirs and sunk into their seats. Adaine’s cup was set down beside her, allowing her to nap (could she properly nap?). Instead of piling in on each other like they normally did, they each took a spot with a good amount of space between them. They loved each other, sure, but it was good to have a little bit of personal space after the rager they’d had the night before. Not noticing (or not caring about) this pattern, Gorgug and Fabian took seats next to each other on a couch facing the TV. They didn’t plan on watching anything for the time being as it was nearing the time for them to exchange gifts.
Instead of spending his afternoon wallowing in his own lovesickness, Fabian decided that he was going to be grateful that Gorgug was the type of friend who wouldn’t make this weird; wouldn’t make it a thing.
Oh, how wrong he had been.
CHAPTER THREE — HEAVY AS EVER, LIGHT AS A FEATHER
As college freshmen, holiday plans were a bit scattered. Hallariel had wanted Fabian to join her and the rest of the family on Fallinel for the Yulenear; The Thistlesprings, along with Gorbag and Roz, wanted Gorgug home in Elmville; Fig’s many parents and parental figures all wanted to see her for the holidays; Sklonda planned to spend a couple of days in Bastion City so that she could go to Riz instead of the other way around; Adaine was going to go with Fig, she thought; Kristen was probably going to go with Fig and Adaine, maybe drop off some gifts for her brothers while she was in Elmville.
Scattered might have been an overstatement, seeing as most would be in Elmville, but with Fabian on Fallinel and Riz staying back, there was no way they’d want to properly celebrate without every single one of the party members in attendance.
All of the Bad Kids were a bit frazzled; finals had just finished, and it was just about time for them to start packing for their trips home, so Gorgug was trying with all his might to shove his suitcase shut and make the gifts he’d bought fit in it. As he was stood, one foot on the suitcase, one hand pushing it down, and the other hand trying to zip it closed, Fabian knocked on the door. It was more of a formality than anything, and he walked in almost immediately after. He put some bags down on the floor and looked quizzically at Gorgug.
“Need a hand?” Fabian asked.
The two of them had luckily been assigned as roommates for their freshman year of college, which was a great relief for them both. Sure, it might have been nice to meet some new people, but they much preferred the comfort they had with each other.
“Please,” Gorgug said. “This damned thing is going to be the death of me.”
Fabian smiled and gestured for Gorgug to move his hand. “Just make sure it’s lined up and I’ll zip it,” he said.
Gorgug nodded and pressed his foot down a little harder, checking that the zipper was able to pull the two halves together without straining it too much, and Fabian pulled it shut without much trouble.
“Voilà!” Fabian said.
Gorgug shook his head. “I can’t believe that took me so long,” he said.
“Hey, sometimes all it takes is a helping hand,” Fabian said teasingly.
“Yeah, yeah, Mr. Friendship is Magic,” Gorgug said.
“Oh, shush,” Fabian laughed, punching Gorgug’s shoulder playfully. “Besides, now that’s done you can join us for our farewell party.”
“You’re so dramatic, like four out of six of us will all be in the same town, and it’s not like we don’t have our crystals,” Gorgug said.
“But you’ll still miss me very dearly, so a farewell party it is,” Fabian said.
“And Riz,” Gorgug added.
“Yes, and The Ball, but mostly me,” Fabian said, dragging out the E sound.
“For sure, man,” Gorgug smiled. “I figure we’re holding this little party in here?”
“We sure are; nowhere better to do it, really,” Fabian said. “I already went to the store, so we’re all set.”
“Sounds good to me,” Gorgug said. He picked up his suitcase and placed it next to his bed, making sure it was as out of the way as it could be. “When are the others getting here?”
Fabian hummed and checked his crystal. “At six, so about two hours,” he said.
Gorgug nodded his understanding and went about reorganizing the clothes he wasn’t taking back home.
Fabian pulled the drinks and snacks he’d purchased out of the bags and managed to tetris them into the mini fridge. He’d mostly emptied it out in preparation for the two of them being gone for the winter break, but even then it was a struggle to get all the cans and bottles to fit in there. Whatever didn’t need to be refrigerated went on top of the fridge in a small basket.
[In this moment, there was no tension. This season, as it approached the Moonar Yulenear, always gave Gorgug a warm rush of feeling that had, for the past two years, resulted in getting a little kiss on the cheek from Fabian. It was so innocent at first, but it was like that tiny interaction sparked a forest fire. Gorgug would find himself making excuses to be closer to Fabian, or to talk to Fabian a little longer, or to tag along with Fabian for mundane errands. It was something he was trying very hard to keep down, hidden in his chest until he could decide whether it was going to be wise to say it out loud or lock it away forever. But here, in this moment, Gorgug was just happy.
Fabian was content. He had been so glad that he and Gorgug were roomed together, he’d have been greatly disappointed if he had to adjust to living with a stranger. He’d lived in such a big house his entire life, so the idea of having to live around somebody new while he learned to live in a dorm was just about the worst possible outcome for him. Thankfully, this did not come to pass, and Fabian was perfectly happy living with Gorgug. They were best friends; they’d spent their nights playing video games or getting drunk on the weekends or watching movies together. They were close and only getting closer, and it made Fabian feel…well, therein lied the problem. Fabian was only getting more and more affectionate towards Gorgug, and he had no idea how either of them felt about it. He liked it; sitting next to Gorgug and brushing hands or letting their knees touch. He felt like a schoolgirl with a crush, and it was amazing. His heart would skip a beat when Gorgug’s eyes met his and it felt good. Then and there, suitcases packed for his journey to Fallinel, he felt almost sad. He would see Gorgug in a matter of weeks, he reasoned, but that didn’t do much to quell the slight sorrow he felt at not being able to have a cozy night in with Gorgug on the Yulenear.]
They passed the next hour and a half playing Mario Kart, with Gorgug retaining his title of “Grand Master of the Kart.” When Riz opened the door, it was to the sight of Fabian crying out that it wasn’t fair that Gorgug got to use a blue shell on him at the last second. Gorgug was laughing loudly and Fabian was pouting; all was normal with those two.
The rest of the Bad Kids trickled in; Adaine, Fig, and finally Kristen. She was about ten minutes late, but she’d brought a bottle of gingerbread moonshine from Tracker, so they managed to forgive her.
The night passed in warmth and fun, each managing all the others to make sure they didn’t get too drunk or loud. The moonshine Kristen had brought was very good, but also very strong, so it was a good thing that Gorgug was big enough to not get trashed by a single shot of it. Fabian, however, was an elven lightweight and was on another plane after a couple swigs of the stuff.
“I thought I warned you that this shit is strong!” Kristen exclaimed. She had hidden the bottle away on a shelf, as Fabian was grabbing for it and wildly missing.
“Gorgug! Come get your man!” Fig cried.
Gorgug, probably about fifteen feet away from her, just shook his head. “I’ll get him when he starts running down the road,” he looked to Kristen, “until then; your alcohol, your problem,” he said.
Kristen curled her lip at Gorgug and told Fabian once again that he was done with alcohol for the night. Fabian was mostly a loud and giggly drunk, which was a godsend when contrasted with some of the people they’d known in high school. Ragh, for instance, wasn’t violent, but also wrestled for the title of Crab King. Fabian just laughed at anything he heard and loudly proclaimed his opinions on things.
At some point in the evening, Fabian had crawled into Gorgug’s bed and laid next to him while they watched some terrible old movie. This one was from Kristen’s childhood, and Gorgug wondered if Kristen had watched a good movie before she entered high school. This one was about a snowman who came to life and fell in love with the lady who brought him to life. That was about the only plot Gorgug could make out, and it was bad enough that he was scrolling on his crystal about half an hour in. The others were talking and snacking, not really watching the movie, except for Fabian. His eye was glued to the screen, glazed over.
Gorgug looked down at Fabian. He was hardly watching the movie, as he had his eye half closed and was laying on his back. Sometimes, he’d glance up at Gorgug’s crystal and smile at whatever he was scrolling past, then go back to the nonsensical plot of the movie.
At some point, he’d drifted off and was woken up again by the sound of the door closing. He opened his eye and saw Gorgug turn around and begin picking things up off the ground, throwing wrappers away and crushing plastic bottles to make sure everything fit in the garbage can. Fabian watched him tidy up for a few minutes, then shut his eye again when Gorgug came back over to the bed. He didn’t exactly know what he was doing, but his drunk mind thought it was a genius plan to…something.
Gorgug climbed into bed and turned over, throwing an arm over Fabian. Fabian’s eye shot open; he tried to think about what he should do, but he could only think to turn over to face Gorgug.
“Hi,” Fabian said. That was really dumb, he thought, but what else was he going to do?
“Hey,” Gorgug replied. It was dark, meaning he could only see Fabian in shades of grey, but that didn’t make any difference to how pretty he was.
Fabian thought really hard, focused on getting the right words out of his mouth. “We should kiss,” he said. He didn’t understand the gravity of those words then; they just felt right.
Gorgug laughed lightly. “You’re way too drunk for that, I’m afraid,” he said.
Fabian pouted a bit. “I’m not! See, I can even do the alphabet backwards…” he trailed off.
Gorgug smiled and pulled Fabian a little closer. “Maybe next year,” he whispered.
Fabian nodded. “Yeah…next year,” he mumbled.
“Go to sleep,” Gorgug said. He wanted to say that they’d talk about it in the morning, but he knew very well that they wouldn’t. They’d grab up their suitcases, say their goodbyes, and be off for the holidays. They’d do what they’ve always done. They’d ignore it until the Yulenear came back around.
CHAPTER FOUR — HOW LONG CAN WE BE HAPPY IF HAPPY AIN’T MEANT FOR US?
As the Bad Kids grew older, it was only harder to lock everyone down for the holidays. They weren’t able to have a get-together as sophomores, but in their junior year of college they were invited to a Yulenear Eve blowout hosted by their good friend Ragh.
It had been a bit of a struggle to keep in touch with everyone they knew in high school, but Ragh was an exception to that. He texted everyone at least once a week, reminding them that he loved them and missed them. He was still in Bastion City, but was playing Bloodrush professionally so was busy most of the time that the Bad Kids were free.
About a week before the Yulenear, Ragh sent out a group text inviting the Bad Kids to a Yulenear Eve party.
Hey hey to my worst kids!! I miss you all, hope you’re doing well. I’m gonna be having a huge yulenear party and I wanted to invite you all to come if you’re gonna be in town! Let me know what’s good <3 Love you
Gorgug smiled to himself as he read Ragh’s message and immediately replied with a thumbs-up emoji, then muted the thread once he saw Fig typing. As he returned home, he called to Fabian to find out if he saw the message as well.
“Fabes, did you see Ragh’s text?” Gorgug asked, shrugging off his backpack and jacket.
[Dear gods, that always gave Fabian butterflies. He loved that Gorgug called him that, Fabes, it felt so affectionate. He did his best to not react to it, but there was no way Gorgug hadn’t noticed the slight blush Fabian got after being called Fabes.
Fabian had only gotten the bright idea to call Gorgug something other than his name once—what he didn’t know was that Gorgug liked it more than he could have said. It was an idle thing, just force of habit. Gorgug, will you get that for me, hun? It was something his mother had said, and it rubbed off on him well before he met Gorgug. Gorgug stopped in his tracks, but Fabian didn’t notice a thing. Hun, that sounded good; sounded right. Gorgug handed Fabian whatever he might have been asking for, he didn’t remember that part, just the way he’d felt a slight pang in his chest when Fabian said that.]
“Yeah, you didn’t see that I responded?” Fabian asked. He was sat up in his bed, staring at his laptop.
“I muted it as soon as I saw Fig typing,” Gorgug said.
“Good idea,” Fabian said. He held up his crystal and showed Gorgug a wall of texts from not just Fig, but Kristen and Riz as well. They seemed to be taking finals a little harder than Gorgug and Fabian were, according to how emotional their responses were. Gorgug was reminded of the time he gave Riz a gift in their junior year and he sent a thank you dissertation.
“Jeez, yeah,” Gorgug laughed. “We should call Riz more, this is a lot.”
“You think? This seems like The Ball in his prime to me,” Fabian said.
Gorgug smiled and shook his head. “In other news; we’re going to this thing, so what’s the plan for the actual day of the Yulenear?” he asked.
“I’m sure my mama can miss me for a year. I’m all grown up now, and she’s got another kid to fuss over now. I’m sure your parents will be alright without you as well,” Fabian said.
“I guess so, but I do feel bad. I feel like I should have told them sooner,” Gorgug said.
“Like I said, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Give them a call sometime soon,” Fabian suggested.
“Yeah, you’re right, I’ll call them in a bit. Right now, I need a shower and a sandwich,” Gorgug said.
Fabian nodded and redirected his attention to his laptop. He was watching some video of somebody dancing with a sword. Gorgug didn’t know anything about that and didn’t want to ask for fear of a half-hour long lesson on the history of some old elf. He fished a change of clothes from the clean laundry basket that he hadn’t gotten around to folding yet and set off to complete his goal of showering and eating some lunch.
The next week passed as normally as it always had; they passed their finals, though Fabian just scraped by one of them, and they prepared to spend their Yulenear at college for the first time.
Ragh had done very well for himself. He played Bloodrush professionally now that he was out of college and even though he was busy, it was the Yulenear! He was determined to get his friends, old and new, together for the holidays. When Gorgug and Fabian arrived to Ragh’s house, it was already bustling with faces both familiar and strange.
“Shit, looks like our buddy’s rich,” Gorgug said, elbowing Fabian lightly.
“Not as rich as me,” Fabian said mockingly.
Gorgug laughed and nodded ahead, leading Fabian to the house. The door was open, allowing the cool night air to permeate the entrance. Inside, though, the warmth of the people around was enough to keep the chill from bothering either of them. The throng of partygoers Gorgug found himself wanting to grab hold of Fabian’s hand to keep them together while they searched for Ragh; he figured this wasn’t the time to vacillate, so he just did the damn thing.
[Fabian thought his heart might stop, but he somehow managed to continue acting as though all was normal. He was very thankful that Gorgug wasn’t going to be paying much attention to where he was looking, as Fabian couldn’t help but glance down at their intertwined hands every few seconds. It felt so right and so wrong at the same time; this was not how holding hands for the first time was supposed to go, right? Nevermind that this definitely wasn’t the first time they’d held hands, but…context, alright?]
As they searched, they ran into several old friends. Max Durden, who gave them a knowing wink; Tracker, who nodded approvingly as she looked them up and down; Aelwyn, who made polite small talk and answered that Ragh might be out in the backyard, but not before masking the slightly surprised expression she made at the sight of the two holding hands. For his part, Gorgug did not seem to notice the strange expressions and mannerisms of their old friends and peers.
Walking through the house—and saying a very slobbery hello to Ragh’s huge Saint Bernard called Frank, short for Frankfurter—Gorgug pulled the back door’s screen open and surveyed the backyard. He saw Zayn Darkshadow holding Edgar, Torek Railgrinder, Lucy Frostblade, and a smattering of other familiar faces. Right in the center of the action, where Gorgug kind of knew they’d find him, was Ragh. He was definitely drunker than was wise and was engaging in a vicious game of beer pong.
Gorgug pulled Fabian along and called out to Ragh.
“My boys! How are you?” Ragh asked, his voice booming across the yard. He pulled Gorgug into a hug and clapped him on the back.
Gorgug let go of Fabian’s hand and groaned a little at being semi-crushed by Ragh. “I’m good,” he squeezed out.
“Whoops, sorry,” Ragh laughed. He let Gorgug go and similarly pulled Fabian in for a hug—though, Gorgug noticed, quite a bit gentler.
Fabian returned Ragh’s pat on the back. “We’re well, how are you?” he asked.
“Fuckin’ great!” Ragh exclaimed. That was probably the mix of alcohols in him talking, but he did seem to be doing well for himself. “I’m really glad to see you guys, it’s been too long,” he said.
Ragh’s beer pong partner shouted over to them. “Dude, we’re getting fucked up over here,” Gorgug recognized the voice of Skrank. Skrank seemed to notice the little reunion happening and waved over to Gorgug.
Gorgug waved back and made an apologetic gesture, which Skrank waved away.
“Sorry, sorry, one sec,” Ragh said. “Anyway, I’m happy to see you guys, go have some fun!” he said, then turned and jogged back over to the beer pong table.
Fabian shook his head slightly. “He hasn’t changed, I see,” he said.
“Not a bit,” Gorgug said. He turned to Fabian, “what do you say we find our friends and get some drinks?” he asked.
“Sounds wonderful,” Fabian said.
[It would have been obvious if he were watching himself, and he pushed the feeling down almost immediately, but Fabian had a brief flash of an idea that said we really look like a couple, don’t we?]
Gorgug nodded to the back door, where he could see Frank enjoying being pet by many, many drunk people. He began walking, looked down at his and Fabian’s hands; he wondered if it was too soon to take his hand again. He’d probably have to be at least a little bit drunk to justify it to himself, but damn if he didn’t want to hold Fabian’s hand all night.
Fabian followed Gorgug through the door and into the kitchen, where they were greeted by Fig. She smiled wide and threw herself onto both himself and Gorgug, as though she hadn’t seen them in months. Fabian wanted to remind her that they had met up just last week, but he wasn’t going to be the one to spoil her mood.
“I missed you guys!” Fig said, standing back a bit and looking the two of them up and down. “Drinks are great—have you seen Ragh?” she asked. She’d definitely indulged in a couple of the shots lined up on the countertop.
“He’s outside,” Gorgug gestured to the back door, “playing some pretty intense beer pong with Skrank,” he said.
“Beautiful, beautiful,” Fig said. “Well you guys look great, love you, blah blah. I’ll see you in a little bit.”
Gorgug smiled and gave Fig a thumbs-up as she walked out the door. Now set on finding a couple of shots to down, he turned to Fabian and found him mid-toast with salt, a shot of tequila, and a lime wedge. Gorgug watched Fabian lick the salt off his hand, down his shot, and suck on the lime wedge in quick succession. He couldn’t lie—well, he could, but what would have been the point?—that was pretty hot. Fabian was a bit of a lightweight, sure, but he didn’t flinch when it came to liquor.
Fabian gave a small whew and turned back to Gorgug. His expression was almost inscrutable, but he would have said Gorgug looked…impressed? Yeah, that was right. He’d only taken one shot, and it wouldn’t be many more before he was gone with the wind, so he figured he shouldn’t be so shy as he usually was. “Like what you see?” he asked.
“Yeah, one of those shots,” Gorgug deflected. At some point, he’d become as quick as Fig in the realm of throwing out retorts—she’d definitely rubbed off on him.
[He’d also gotten pretty damn good at pretending he didn’t hear things the way he knew Fabian intended them. You’d think that he’d at least try to take a hint, but he was determined to ignore the way they both almost certainly felt. There was little pretense left to drop; it was just up to Gorgug to decide if he wanted to finally grow a pair and pick up what Fabian was putting down. Tonight, apparently, was not going to be the night he did so.]
Fabian sneered, picked a shot glass up off the counter, and handed it to Gorgug. “There you are,” he said.
Gorgug did his best to seem unaffected, but as he tilted his head back and downed his shot, he really wished he’d asked for a lime as well. “Thank you,” he said a bit raspily.
Fabian giggled a bit at that. “You’re very welcome,” he said.
Gorgug coughed some more, then suggested they ought to find the rest of their friends. They’d all confirmed that they’d be here, so they had to be around somewhere. With a bit of renewed confidence, he held his hand out to Fabian, who took it gladly.
[This was pretty nice, even if they were going to do their little dance around the bush all night. Even if it took until next year or the one after that for either one to say anything, they cherished this moment.]
They found Kristen and Tracker sitting together in the living room, where Tracker pointed to the two of them and Kristen’s eyes widened slightly. Kristen turned to her girlfriend and whispered something into her ear.
Riz was wading through the sea of people and was similarly looking for Ragh. Fabian pointed him outside after a couple minutes of idle chatter—and after noticing Riz’s eye twitching in the way it always did when he had a burning question he was trying not to ask.
Adaine was last to arrive, very uncharacteristically, but she had a good excuse in the fact that she’d brought both a bottle and her boyfriend with her. Oisín was attending some prestigious wizard school outside the country that Adaine also got an offer from, but that Fabian couldn’t have named if his life was on the line. After pleasant reintroductions and hugs were given out, Adaine and Oisín headed off in search of Ragh to gift him the bottle they’d brought.
“I suppose that’s all of them,” Fabian said.
“I guess so,” Gorgug said. “Is it weird to say that I feel a little lost?”
Fabian cocked his head. “How so?” he asked.
“No idea, I just feel like I’ve got no idea what I’m supposed to do now,” Gorgug said, huffing out a small laugh.
“I’ve got a few ideas,” Fabian offered. “For one, you could go take a couple more shots. Then, you could go play some beer pong or wrestle with Ragh or something…” Fabian trailed off, gesturing that he could go on.
“Alright, alright, I get it,” Gorgug said. “We’re at a party, I’m meant to have fun.”
“Precisely! Now, let’s find that tequila,” Fabian said. He pulled at Gorgug’s hand and led him back into the kitchen, where another line of shots was being poured.
Most of the night passed in a drunken blur, and it wasn’t long before Fabian was out on the lawn with Ragh and puking his guts up. Gorgug was there, patting his back and encouraging him to get it all out.
Once he felt he was done, Gorgug sat him down by the fire that Ragh had started. It was a cold night, and the fire hardly helped, but it felt good nonetheless.
“You need some water?” Gorgug asked.
“Mmm,” Fabian hummed. Water was fine, but he really just needed to keep breathing the cold night air. Something about the oxygen was sobering; it tasted nice.
“Alright, Fabes, I’ll be right back,” Gorgug said. He stood and walked inside. The party was slowly dying down as folks prepared to drive or teleport home the morning after, and Gorgug waved goodbye to faces familiar and unfamiliar alike. He filled a cup with water and brought it out to Fabian.
“Gods above, this is awful,” Fabian whispered to himself. “Why does anyone drink?”
“Here you go, Fabes,” Gorgug said, handing Fabian the cup, but keeping a hand on it in case he couldn’t quite hold it up.
[Fabian’s stomach did that flippy thing again. Fabes always sounded so good when it came from Gorgug. Now that he thought about it, nobody else really called him that, and he was glad. Only Gorgug got to call him Fabes, and that felt good. This feeling wasn’t helped by the sensation of Gorgug’s hand on his as they both tried to hold up that plastic cup. Stupid cup, getting in Fabian’s way.]
“Thanks,” Fabian mumbled. He slowly sipped the water, momentarily hoping it wasn’t more alcohol, then relaxing when the sweet taste of nothing slipped from the cup. “Beautiful…”
“Hm?” Gorgug hummed.
“Water is beautiful,” Fabian said.
Gorgug laughed. “It sure is,” he said.
“You’re beautiful,” Fabian said. He didn’t have a moment’s hesitation, and he could sense that he was going to greatly regret this in the morning.
“So are you,” Gorgug replied. He looked up and down Fabian’s face, wished he was sober.
Fabian sighed heavily. “I wish you would kiss me,” he said. The light of the fire flickered in his eye. “I know you won’t, ‘m way too drunk…but I wish you would.”
“I’m glad you know that,” Gorgug said. “I wish I could kiss you too.”
“How long are you gonna make me wait?” Fabian asked somewhat pleadingly.
“Just until you’re not drunk on the Yulenear,” Gorgug joked.
“Next year, then?” Fabian asked, sadder still. What a buzzkill, he should have stayed in the bush.
“Next year,” Gorgug said. “I promise.”
“You promise?” Fabian’s eye lit up a bit.
“I do—as long as you can be sober enough for me to kiss you, I will,” Gorgug said.
“So I can have a couple drinks?” Fabian teased.
“You can find that out for yourself. If you don’t get a kiss, it isn’t my fault,” Gorgug said.
[Gorgug wished he knew why he couldn’t just do that tomorrow, or next week, or in two months. No, it was on the Moonar Yulenear, and it was tradition at this point. Something in him wished he could just kiss Fabian now, but he knew that wasn’t the smart part of him.]
The pair sat in silence for a few minutes more, Fabian slowly sipping on his water and Gorgug staring into the fire. Gorgug thought about what he could do, and settled on just saying something.
“Fabes?” Gorgug asked.
“Hm?” Fabian hummed.
“I love you,” Gorgug said. He didn’t feel that familiar rush of anxiety as he said it; there was just a warm blanket of surety over him. He was certain that he was saying the right thing, and that wasn’t something all too common for him.
Fabian thought he might melt from the combined heat of the fire and the warmth that fell over him when Gorgug said that. “I love you,” Fabian replied. He was definitely too drunk for this, but he knew that he meant it.
When morning came and Fabian found himself back in his dorm, Gorgug was out for the day. He left a note saying that his parents came to him and he’d be out until around dinner time. Fabian wondered whether to call and ask if he could go along, but he didn’t want to intrude on Gorgug’s family time. It was a rather lonely Yulenear, but Fabian would survive it. His hangover did well enough to distract him.
CHAPTER FIVE — I DON’T WANNA WAIT ‘TIL THE SUNSHINE FADES
The next year, Fabian was determined to let Gorgug make good on his promise. He’d been telling himself for the entire month of December that he was going to be sober on the Yulenear no matter what. He would be going home to Elmville for the Yulenear, as his mama decided that it was time to revisit Seacaster Manor, even though she’d still be on Fallinel for the Yulenear itself. What this meant for Fabian was that he got to invite his friends over and finally, finally, get that kiss in.
Fabian had gone so far as to make sure he still had mistletoe among his decorations and that it was out for the night ahead. Fabian had planned this almost as meticulously as Riz might have, and he was damn proud of himself.
As his friends piled into the living room and started reminiscing on memories they’d made in the Manor, Fabian watched the door nervously. He’d seen Gorgug just a couple days before, they still roomed together in their senior year, even if they didn’t need to. They hadn’t been in any serious relationships, for no particular reason, so they hadn’t thought it was wise to waste money on living somewhere else and having to worry about transportation. Nevermind that Fabian was richer than sin and hadn’t had to worry about money a day in his life; nevermind that it would have been nice to have a space of his own. He liked getting to be with Gorgug every day, even on days when they got sick of each other.
As the doorbell rang, Fabian jumped up and half ran to the door to answer it. Fig and Riz exchanged whispers about Fabian being jumpy and wanting to see his boyfriend. To Fabian’s only slight dismay, it was Adaine. Oisín was in his car, waving up to her and Fabian as he drove off.
Right behind him, though, was Gorgug. He seemed to be walking, a ridiculous thing to do in the snow. Fabian called out to him, fussing over why he was walking. Gorgug laughed off Fabian’s concern and explained that his parents had reverted to a gnome-sized car once he’d moved out, so there was no way he’d fit in their car.
“It isn’t a terrible walk, anyway, and the fresh air is good for me,” Gorgug said.
“If you insist; I still don’t like that you walked all this way in the snow. I could have taken the Hangman,” Fabian said.
Gorgug waved his hand. “No need, I’m alright,” he said.
[Inside, the rest of the Bad Kids were pooling bets on if they would kiss or not. They’d never gotten any real confirmation on if the two were together or not, but it was looking more and more likely by the minute. When Gorgug put a hand on Fabian’s shoulder and started to turn him around and lead him into the house, Riz threw his hands up and handed Kristen a couple gold pieces out of his pocket. At Adaine’s request, Kristen explained her reasoning. She knew gay people, she said, and she figured that they’d been playing the long game. Adaine shook her head and commented that she wished they’d just get over it and kiss already.]
As they arrived in the house, Gorgug shrugged off his coat and shook his boots off outside. They hadn’t seen proper snow in a good while, since living in a big city meant it was all shoveled or plowed or salted within hours of snow falling.
Still huddled together and sharing theories, Fig, Kristen, Adaine, and Riz quickly broke up their conspiracy circle and greeted Gorgug, who chose not to comment on their weirdness.
[Fig suggested that they should hang up mistletoe again, that worked before, right?
Kristen shook her head. They wouldn’t do that in front of everybody.
Riz rubbed the bridge of his nose and suggested that they could just leave if they wanted to get them to kiss so badly.
Adaine tapped Riz and said that might be the right idea.]
One by one, the Bad Kids seemed to have Yulenear family emergencies that needed their attention immediately. Fig said that Gilear had slipped on yogurt, even though he was with Hallariel on Fallinel. Riz said his mom had spilled coffee on an important document, and that she needed his help for some unknown reason. Adaine and Kristen said that Jawbone needed their help with…counselor stuff, which Fabian took to mean that they just wanted to leave. It was kind of hurtful, but it was just comical enough that Fabian could sniff a plan from his friends.
Gorgug nodded. “Just us, then,” he said.
Just then, Fabian got it. “Uh, yeah, seems so,” he said. He tried not to stutter too much, but he would have been lying if he said he wasn’t a bit excited.
“So, what’s the plan?” Gorgug asked.
“I don’t suppose you want a drink,” Fabian said.
Gorgug smiled and stepped closer to Fabian. “I don’t think I do,” he said.
Fabian wanted to ask him to wait; to let him take in this moment and get out some of the excitement bubbling inside him. Instead, he put a hand out and rested it on Gorgug’s chest. Gorgug raised an eyebrow, a quick thing that asked are you alright?
Fabian nodded. “I just need a second,” he said.
“Need a mint?” Gorgug teased.
“Well, now that you mention it,” Fabian said.
“Oh, hush,” Gorgug said. “Just…just tell me when I can kiss you.”
Fabian went a bit mushy at that. “Funny that you’re the one asking now,” he said.
“Is it? I think it’s nice of me to take the initiative,” Gorgug said.
“I suppose it is,” Fabian said. He let his hand drop from Gorgug’s chest and took a step closer, closing the space between them. “I’m usually the one being bold, but that’s also usually on account of the alcohol.”
Gorgug placed a hand on Fabian’s shoulder and let his hand run down his arm, landing at his hand, and holding onto it. He leaned down, close to Fabian’s lips, but made very sure not to touch them. “You sure you didn’t need any pregame for this?” he teased.
“I’m sure,” Fabian said firmly. “I’ve been waiting years for this, I couldn’t be any more ready.” He spoke into Gorgug’s lips, wondering to himself how in all of the nine hells he was meant to be not nervous. “Besides, I think you’re a little nervous too. I think you would have just gone for it instead of doing whatever this is if you weren’t just a tiny bit nervous.”
“This is called very close talking,” Gorgug said.
“Is it now?” Fabian said.
“It is, and it’s very different from kissing,” Gorgug said. This was killing Fabian and he knew it, but he thought it was fair enough after the years he’d spent having to refrain from kissing him.
“Why don’t you show me, then,” Fabian said.
Gorgug smiled gently and untangled his hand from Fabian’s, bringing it to rest on his cheek and closing the inches left between them. It was a slow thing; chaste and sweet. They stood there for a few seconds, neither wanting to break the kiss.
Fabian pulled away, eye fluttering open and finding Gorgug’s flushed face in front of his.
“I must say, that is different,” Fabian whispered.
“I told you so,” Gorgug said. “How about I show you again?”
“By all means,” Fabian said.
Gorgug pulled Fabian back in and smiled against his lips. He pulled away just enough to whisper, “this was worth waiting for,” then replaced his lips against Fabian’s. When he pulled back again, he couldn’t help but smile like a fool.
“That really was worth waiting since, like, high school for,” Fabian said.
Gorgug laughed loudly. “Gods, has it been that long?” he said.
Fabian nodded. “Sure has,” he said.
“Well, nothing to do but make up for lost time, right?” Gorgug asked.
Fabian smiled and placed a little kiss on Gorgug’s cheek. “With hot chocolate and a good movie,” he said.
“Thank fuck, I was going to die if I had to watch Santa Claus Gets Eaten by a T-Rex again,” Gorgug said.
Fabian laughed and let the tension drop from his body. He’d finally done it, and he couldn’t have been happier.
As Gorgug began his walk toward the kitchen to dust off mugs for hot chocolate, Fabian stopped him. “Hey, I love you,” he said
Gorgug tensed up his forearms—something Fabian would later learn was something he did when he felt cuteness aggression—and smiled, wrinkling up his nose. “I love you,” he replied. He quickly kissed the top of Fabian’s head and ran off towards the kitchen.
Fabian ran after him, feeling like not a thing had changed. They dusted off mugs, drank hot chocolate from packets that were almost certainly expired, and watched a good movie. They snuggled under blankets and fell asleep in the living room.
They had a very merry Moonar Yulenear.