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Three months ago, Alex had looked up from his morning coffee to see a frown on Henry’s face from the other side of their shared kitchen table and heard him utter, ‘Bloody Nora’, and then watched him frantically tap what turned out to be the FaceTime button.
“Did you cancel my flight?” he had asked a few moments later.
It was Bea who was on the other end of the line. “Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean for you to find out this way. The airline emailed you, I gather?”
“Yes, and it’s not something I was prepared to deal with, first thing in the morning.”
“I was going to call you later today, if it’s any consolation.”
“It might be,” Henry said after taking a deep breath, one that Alex recognised as a way for Henry to temper his anxiety. “Once you’ve explained why the bloody hell you cancelled my flight.”
“Gran invited herself and refuses to be persuaded otherwise,” Bea simply explained.
“Ah,” Henry managed to force out of his lungs. His jaw had tensed immediately and all colour seemed to drain from his face.
“Which us why, knowing you, I made an executive decision and uninvited you for Christmas.”
Alex couldn’t see her face from this angle, but her determination was clear in her voice. There was nothing Henry would be able to do or say to change her mind.
Henry seemed to realise it too and slumped in his seat, letting out another audible puff of air.
“Listen, Henry,” Bea continued, softer now, “you would simply endure her hateful remarks, bite your tongue and let her harass you in an effort to keep the peace, but, Hen, you’d go back home with a dark cloud the size of Scotland lingering over you, and I won’t have it. So, since I was the one who booked your tickets in the first place, I was able to exchanged them for a return ticket to New York in January for myself.”
“Bea…” Henry stammered hoarsely, his eyes watery. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” Bea replied sympathetically. “You can thank me later, once you’ve managed to wrap you head around this situation and you are ready to admit that I made the right decision. Now,” she added before Henry had a chance to comment on it, “is Alex there with you?”
“He is,” Henry said, sounding far too suspicious to Alex’s ears.
“Good! Alex, dear, would it be possible for Henry to join you for Christmas?”
Henry’s eyes widened, which was also a bit unnecessary for Alex’s liking.
“Sure thing,” Alex nodded, turning his own phone over to Henry, showing him the texts he’d been exchanging with his mother while Henry was talking to Bea, feeling immensely grateful his mother answered so fast. “Already done and dusted!”
“Splendid!” Bea chirped. “Knew I would be able to count on you!”
“Wait…” Henry spluttered, but Bea ignored him.
“I have to dash. Henry, I’ll call you later, alright? Around eight your time?”
“Yes, that’s… Alright,” Henry nodded dazedly, and after one last greeting, Bea hung op.
“So, seems like you’ll be coming to Texas for Christmas!” Alex grinned excitedly.
---
Now, three days before Christmas, Alex is looking at that same frown. This time, it’s aimed at the baggage carousel at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport.
The area around them is empty. The last stragglers have just left through the sliding doors behind them. Not only that; the carousel is also empty, except for a couple of loose items; a single shoe, a pacifier and something Alex hopes isn’t underwear.
More importantly, what isn’t there is Henry’s suitcase.
“Well, shit,” Alex mutters. He had given up hope long before Henry had, and, judging by the slope of his shoulders, Henry has just lost faith as well. “I’m sorry, Hen.”
He throws a reassuring arm around his best friend in the hopes of sharing some of the burden, but Henry isn’t really one to share his misfortunes. He usually shoulders them and carries it around on his own.
“Right,” Henry says robotically. “Let’s find the airline’s desk then, shall we?”
He turns away and stalks towards the arrival hall. Alex sighs, bites his lip and hauls his own bag higher up his shoulder before hurrying after him.
---
“Sorry we’re late!” Alex shouts as a greeting when he opens the backdoor.
“Alex?” his mother asks unnecessarily, turning around with a bright smile from her spot at the counter where she’s preparing a pitcher of lemonade. “You’re here! Let me look at you!”
She quickly wipes her hands on a tea towel and takes a few strides until she’s able to take Alex’s beaming face in her hands, turning it left and right until she plants a kiss on his cheek and pulls him into an embrace.
“You look good,” she decides, nodding her approval into his shoulder. “You’ve been eating well?”
“Yes, ma,” Alex answers, rolling his eyes as if her worrying over him doesn’t fill him with an overwhelming sense of love. She teasingly pinches him in the cheek for being cheeky before she moves to Henry to envelop him in a hug as well.
“Henry, welcome to our home! Alex texted me about your luggage. So sorry to hear about it, but I’m really glad you’re here."
“Thank you, Mrs Claremont,” Henry answers politely, looking a little awkward and flustered.
“Oh, please, call me Ellen, would ya? It’s bad enough this one calls me ‘ma’!”
“What’s wrong with ‘ma’?” Alex interjects. “I’m not calling you Ellen because that’s just fucking weird and I’m pretty sure we’re past the mommy-phase, aren’t we?”
He chuckles when he can see Henry trying to hide a flinch when he swears in front of his mother. That’s probably a not-done thing in the Fox-Mountchristen household – especially when Henry’s grandmother is around – but Alex has learned his most creative swearwords from both of his parents, so the word ‘fuck’ probably doesn’t even register with them anymore.
“Lord almighty,” his mom sighs, “if those are the only two alternatives, I guess I’ll take ‘ma’.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m not changing it,” Alex smirks, skipping over to the counter to try and dip his pinkie into the lemonade to taste it. Before he has the chance, though, his mother slaps him on the back of the hand.
“Where are your manners, young man?” she tuts. “Go wash those hands before I’ve gotta throw this entire batch away. Good lord, could’ve sworn I raised you in the suburbs, not a barn.”
Alex grins at Henry, who’s looking slightly more amused now, before he washes his hands. Extra obnoxiously thorough, of course.
When he’s turned back around, his mother has already poured the both of them a glass.
“These will be waiting for you in the living room. Come say hello to the others and then you can show Henry his room,” she tells Alex with a last kiss on his cheek before she steps out of the kitchen.
“You good?” Alex asks, waiting for Henry to dutifully wash his hands as well.
“Frankly, I’m exhausted,” Henry admits with what sounds like a long overdue sigh.
“Yeah, me too, and I’m not the one who’s lost all of his clothes and stuff.”
“It’s not the clothes I’m most fussed about,” Henry says with a pained face. “Although, I do hope they are able to return my favourite jumper. I wish I’d bloody worn it on the plane.”
“I know what you mean,” Alex nods, stepping closer to throw another arm around Henry. He’s been doing that a lot in the last few hours, “but my family doesn’t care about the presents, you know that, right? They’re just happy you’re here. Besides, we can just slap your name on mine and say it’s a joined gift.”
“That feels lazy and incredibly unsatisfying,” Henry groans. “I wanted to show my appreciation, thank them for including me in their celebration.”
“And you’ll still get to do that when your suitcase shows up,” Alex tells him with no uncertainty. “Until then, we could just share mine.”
“I’d still rather look for a little something for each of them tomorrow, if we can,” Henry says with an apologetic expression and Alex knows this matters to him.
“Yeah, of course, we’ve got time to hit the stores tomorrow. Gotta get you some clothes anyway.”
“I do appreciate that.”
“But you can borrow anything of mine, okay?”
A small hint of a smirk appears around Henry’s mouth as he eyes Alex up and down before he says, “I’d rather not look indecent at breakfast tomorrow, if I can help it.”
“Oh, shut up!” Alex laughs, smacking Henry’s upper arm. “You’re, like, one inch taller than me!”
“One?” Henry asks, raising an eyebrow. “I’m aware you’re head is rather big, but it’s not that large, love.”
Alex runs his tongue over his teeth, trying to bite back his grin.
“I believe your family is waiting for us,” Henry reminds him before Alex can think of a crushing rebuttal. Travel has really slowed down his brain.
“Yeah, fine,” he huffs. “Let’s get this over with.”
Alex loves his family with every fibre of his being, but, holy shit, can they be loud! He and Henry have barely stepped foot into the living room before June has thrown her arms around him with a shriek, Nora is hollering for Henry to give her a hug and Oscar is loudly proclaiming that Alex surely couldn’t have gotten any taller at this age.
The only one not breaking the sound barrier is his stepdad Leo, who hangs back with a pleased smile on his face. It’s not a surprise that it’s Leo who Henry gravitates towards within seconds. He’s pretending to be polite, of course, by introducing himself to the one person in the room he hasn’t met before, but Alex clocks it immediately; the way Henry sidles up next to Leo so he can disappear into the background.
And where Alex might be inclined to let Henry have a moment of peace, June isn’t, jumping at the chance to pull him into a hug as well.
She hasn’t seen Alex and Henry in a couple of weeks while they stayed with Nora’s family in Vermont for Hanukkah, but still, they had a drink together about three weeks ago. Not three years!
When Alex tells her that with a scoff, he gets a scoff in return.
“I’m just excited to have Henry over to our childhood home, okay? Aren’t you?” June asks him.
“Of course I am,” he defends himself immediately before muttering, “Just not being all weird about it.”
“And I’m just imaging all the fun I’m gonna be having these next couple of days,” Nora adds with a smirk that has Alex’s internal alarm bells going off.
“Why?” he asks. “What are you planning?”
“I’m not planning anything,” she tells him with a nonchalant shrug. “Just here for the show.”
He eyes her suspiciously but can’t decipher anything from her obviously fake innocent expression. She’s definitely planning something.
“Let’s start with dinner, though, shall we? Before we get to any kind of show,” his mom says with a decisive clap of her hands. “We wanted to wait for you, and I, for one, am starving by now. Go wash up, will ya? We’ll get the table set.”
While most of them move to the kitchen, Alex gives Henry a gentle push towards the stairs, then takes them three at the time himself, carelessly throws his bags into his room and shows Henry where he’ll be sleeping. While Henry gently places his carry-on bag onto the guest bed, Alex lingers by the door.
“You want a change of clothes?” he asks.
Pausing his looking around the room, Henry tries to discreetly sniff himself.
“Actually, I wouldn’t mind that, thanks. A change of shirt would be nice.”
“You smell fine, sweetheart,” Alex chuckles. “Just saying, I always feel gross after having been stuffed in an airconditioned metal box with a bunch of strangers for a couple of hours. Thought you might too.”
“I wish I had the foresight to pack some extra clothes in my carry-on bag as well,” Henry sighs, zipping the bag open to have a look inside, probably hoping an extra outfit has just magically appeared in there.
Alex snorts. “Listen, I didn’t have much more than my passport, my phone and a charger on me. At least you’ve got a toothbrush and some socks and underwear in there.”
“But you didn’t loose your checked bag, though, did you?” Henry answers, his frustration getting the better of him.
"Nah, but I didn’t have to wait for the security guy while he was looking at my undies, trying to decide if they were a national threat or not, now was I?” Alex teases, trying to pull at least a chuckle out of Henry.
As Henry slowly turns around, his shoulders are still tense, but his eyes are twinkling and his mouth involuntarily pulls up into a smile. Alex’s grin widens at the sight.
“I’m sure he has seen worse.”
“Maybe he even liked it,” Alex says, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Even if he was into it, the man was twice our age. I’ll pass, thanks,” Henry says, mock affronted.
“I don’t kink shame,” Alex shrugs.
“For the love of God,” Henry sighs, but it doesn’t sound half as exasperated as he probably wants it to be. “Just get me a fresh shirt, would you? Without making me pay for it so dearly.”
“But it’s so much fun!” Alex whines jokingly.
“And I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to have your fill over the next few days,” Henry replies, slowly shaking his head as he smiles. “Could we postpone the teasing for a couple of hours, perhaps?”
“I’ll think about it.”
With a cheeky grin and a knock on the doorframe, Alex dashes to his childhood bedroom and rummages through his bag and drawers, trying to find the biggest shirt he owns, hoping it’ll fit Henry’s large frame.
Since they started sharing an apartment, Henry has snatched a number of Alex’s hoodies, but those were just at hand when Henry got cold. This feels more deliberate and Alex isn’t sure what to make of it. He does know it somehow drives him to overthink his options.
Fifteen minutes later, when Alex and Henry walk into the dining room, Alex keeps glancing at Henry’s back where the name Claremont-Diaz is sprawled across it. It’s one of Alex’s old lacrosse jerseys, one of his spare ones he’d only wore a handful of times for things like cheer events and, later, during holiday visits when he was feeling nostalgic. It never got the chance to soak up that potent teenage scent, even though it does smell a little stale after a long stay in one of his old drawers. It’s wide enough for Henry’s shoulders and nice and long so he doesn’t accidentally shows any skin.
But, more notably, Alex is pretty fucking sure that shirt never looked this good on him. Henry fills it out perfectly and Alex is sure his teenage self would have been jealous. Hell, his now self is feeling some of that envy!
He doesn’t have long to dwell on it, though, because they’re ushered onto their chairs and a moment later their plates are filled with well-stacked burgers and seasoned potato wedges. He’s hungry enough to be completely distracted by the mouth-watering smell and can’t wait to dig in.
But, even thought the food is excellent and the company is good, Alex catches Henry’s attention wavering during dessert. His eyes are glossing over as he nods at Oscar’s Senatorial adventures. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when June tells then about the article that’s about to be published, even though Alex knows Henry has been proudly waiting for it, intent on being one of the first ones to by a copy of the magazine that’s printing it. When he misses out on the opportunity to ask for tea instead of coffee, Alex has seen enough.
“I’m pooped,” he says, stretching is arms high above his head and yawning excessively. “I think I’m gonna tuck in early. How ‘bout you, Hen? Gonna stay up a little longer?”
“No, actually,” Henry answers with a grateful smile in his direction. “I think I’ll follow your example. It’s been a rather eventful day and, apparently, I have some shopping to do in the morning. It’s better for me to head to bed as well.”
It still takes them at least fifteen more minutes to head back up the stairs with good night wishes and some last minute conversations.
While Henry ducks into the bathroom, Alex gathers a couple more shirts and a hoodie, and then adds one of his sweatpants to the pile that he leaves on Henry’s bed. Alex knows Henry will have a hard enough time as it is, being away from his sister and his mother, even without the added discomfort of missing his own belonging. Sharing some of his own clothes and giving Henry a choice is the least he can do, right?
---
Early next morning, Alex walks past the living room where a cosy looking Henry is bundled up into an armchair in Alex’s sweatpants and oversized NYU hoodie and June’s comically large pink bunny slippers. Unsurprisingly, he has a book in one hand and a mug of tea in the other.
Alex suppresses a chuckle as he slips into the kitchen. He doesn’t go unnoticed much longer because his mom’s coffee maker makes noises like it isn’t just grinding the beans but also digging a six feet hole underneath the countertop.
Which is probably why, wen he walks back out, Henry is already looking up, greeting him with a soft smile.
“Slept okay?” Alex asks.
“Good enough,” Henry hums, which basically means he has slept very little.
“We’re stealing those, by the way,” Alex says, nodding towards the slippers as he curls up in the other armchair.
“Are we?” Henry asks, amused.
Alex nods, “they suit you. We’re taking them.”
“We’ll buy another pair, if you’re so attached,” Henry chuckles. “I’m not stealing your sister’s.”
“Is it stealing if it’s a self-procured Christmas gift?”
“Yes. Yes, it is,” Henry answers, lifting a single eyebrow.
“Hmmm, then we’ll buy June a better pair.”
“I’m also not gifting your sister bunny slippers for Christmas, for Christ’s sake,” Henry says with a soft snort.
“It’s just a temporary gift,” Alex reasons, “until the real one shows up.”
“And if they don’t?” Henry asks, his smile fading slightly at the thought. “Then your family will always remember me as the guest that gave them cheap, crappy Christmas gifts.”
“They’d never. Besides, I wasn’t going for crappy, I was aiming for thoughtful.”
“You were aiming for being as annoying as possible.”
“No, that’s just my natural state of being,” Alex says with a satisfied smirk. “I add thoughtful because it’s Christmas.”
“Your idea of thoughtful sounds an awful lot like last minute Christmas shopping at a petrol station.”
“Sweetheart, we are last minute shopping. Yeah, okay, not at the gas station, but it’s close enough.”
“Yes, well… I wish I had mine delivered to your mother’s house like you had,” Henry groans, resting his head against the back rest with a deep sigh.
“Pretty genius, wasn’t it? Even had them pre-wrapped. Had to pay extra for that, but definitely worth it.”
“Christ, you’re lazy, aren’t you?”
“Just figuring that out now?” Alex laughs and watches how Henry closes his eyes with a fond chuckle.
“All the running around you do must have thrown me off.”
“I did improve my runtime,” Alex grins proudly.
“I was talking about the headless chicken kind of running,” Henry replies, quirking one eye open to steal a look at Alex. Alex doesn’t bother hiding his amusement as he glares back.
Henry chuckles one more time before he closes his eye again and sinks back further into the cushions.
Alex takes out his phone and scrolls mindlessly through Twitter and Instagram for a couple more minutes before getting an idea.
“Want to get some breakfast burritos before we go gas station gift hunting?” he asks.
“Only if you know a good spot,” Henry hums.
“Of course I do! What do you take me for?”
The little diner that had served him well through his high school years is still there, and the breakfast burritos are still the best he’s ever had. From across the table, Alex watches how Henry takes his first bite, careful not to spill anything on Alex’s dark grey, long-sleeved Henley shirt. That one also looks better on Henry. It’s becoming a theme.
“And?” he asks impatiently.
“I like it,” Henry nods, taking another bite.
“Like it?” Alex asks, offended on the burritos behalf.
“A lot,” Henry grins with his mouth still full, which is a very un-Henry thing to do. Alex can’t help but respond with a beaming smile.
“Thank fuck,” he says, “I was afraid I’d have to disown you.”
“Sounds harsh and completely disproportionate,” Henry comments.
“No, it’s absolutely an appropriate reaction. I’m afraid we would have been forced to part ways if you hadn’t loved my all time favourite breakfast burrito. It’s the rule.”
“Love it? I said I liked it,” Henry baits him, but Alex doesn’t feel the need to bite.
“A lot,” he shrugs. “Good enough.”
“Since when?”
“Since your face tells me you’re completely in love,” Alex smirks victoriously.
Henry’s smile falters just slightly before it turns softer. “You might be right about that.”
“Knew it,” Alex says, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from Henry and focus on his own breakfast.
Something happened there, something that feels significant, but Alex doesn’t know what exactly. He doesn’t like not knowing, doesn’t like missing out. But, even though he doesn’t usually bite his tongue, he’s keeping quiet now, unsure of what to say.
“So, Target? Walmart?” he asks instead a minute later, changing the topic and anticipating Henry’s scoff. He doesn’t disappoint.
“You heathen.”
“What? Are you seriously trash-talking our American staples? Are you criticising our culture, Henry-long-ass-name-Fox?”
The blush on Henry’s ears is immediate. “I wouldn’t dare. I simply prefer smaller shops, as you well know.”
“Likely story,” Alex says, squinting accusingly in Henry’s direction.
He knows full well that Henry likes to support the locals, but it probably also has a lot to do with the vastness of those big box stores. Henry prefers the colours and the lighting of the smaller stores, likes the limited choices and the personal touches. Alex, on the other hand, likes getting distracted around every corner, having everything in one big building. But maybe he just feels that way because he only goes about once a year and it’s almost like a daytrip, as if he’s a kid in a candy store.
Which reminds him. He knows where to find one of those.
“Thought we’d go to 2nd Street. I think you’ll like it. And we’ll hit a bookstore on our way home.”
“Ah, you do know the way to my heart,” Henry chuckles and Alex’s realises that, yeah, that’s probably true, even if he wouldn’t phrase it like that. He knows Henry back to front, top to bottom, inside and out. It’s not exactly news, of course, but it still warms his chest and makes him grin uncontrollably. He knows all of Henry and Henry knows all of him.
It hadn’t always been like that. When they were first introduced, Henry took one look at Alex and made an excuse to leave. As far as first impressions go, that wasn’t a great one, and, after that, Alex held a grudge for longer than strictly necessary. Forced proximity eventually changed things, thanks to June and Nora’s tight friendship with Pez. When Alex was finally ready to admit Henry was in fact interesting and funny, they formed a friendship that kept growing and growing. They eventually moved into an apartment together to save on rent. And because they are both afraid of feeling lonely, but neither one of them is willing to admit to that item on the list of benefits out loud. Henry turned out to be the perfect housemate for Alex, and he refuses to think about a future where they won’t be. Fortunately, Henry has never brought up moving out either, so maybe he’s feeling the same way.
---
Alex had no idea just how much he’d enjoy showing Henry around Austin, even if they are only visiting a small part of it. Of course he knew they’d have a good time because that’s basically a given, but with every story Alex tells, with every store he drags Henry into, Henry’s amused smile widens and Alex’s heart stutters pleasantly. It makes him wish they had more than just a couple of days. He wants to take Henry to Peace Park, to go hiking outside the city, to try all the best food carts, to show him the State Capitol, tour every single on of Austin’s bookstores. He even wants to take Henry to go and play fucking mini golf!
So, after Henry has paid for a beautiful necklace with a turquoise hanger for June, Alex decides to solidify those plans immediately.
“Wanna come back here? Maybe this summer?”
“This summer?” Henry asks, observing Alex with an expressions that switches from confused to surprised to excited to a whole lot more.
“Yeah, or some other time,” Alex shrugs, hoping he isn’t coming on too strong before jumping right back in. “There’s just so much we can do. I want to show you where I went to school and the mall where we’d hang out on the weekend, and I want to take you to the movie theatre we went to and see if the floor is still sticky, and I want to go swimming at Barton Springs.”
“How long where you planning on staying?” Henry chuckles. “That sounds like a full itinerary already.”
“I don’t know. Like two weeks?”
“Will you schedule in some reading time?”
“Are you seriously bargaining?”
“Yes.”
“Fine, you can read in the car on our way to Westcave.”
“At least two hours a day,” Henry counters with an amused twinkle in his eye.
“Okay, okay. I’ll even let you take a day of from doing touristy stuff.”
“In that case, I’d love to,” Henry says with a soft smile. “I’d love to see more of where you grew up.”
“Yeah?” Alex asks, his heart feeling comfortably heavy.
“If you afford me the pleasure of showing you around Britain the year after.”
“You would?” Alex beams. “Shake on it!”
He thrusts his hand towards Henry and shakes it vigorously when Henry wraps his warm, soft fingers around his. He even gets a little lost in Henry’s eyes as they commit to their future travel plans.
Henry’s eyes are really fucking blue, aren’t they? Like, is this even a discovered colour? Does it exist anywhere else in the world? Or, more importantly, does Henry have x-ray vision? Because it feels like he’s looking straight into Alex’s soul.
A shaky sigh escapes him, which makes Henry’s bow furrow just slightly.
“Coffee break?” he offers.
“You read my mind,” Alex says with half a chuckle, taking a quick step sideways, and leads the way to a local coffee shop.
God, he really does need some brain juice.
“Back to the living?” Henry teases as they walk back out with a takeaway caffeinated beverage of their choosing.
“Not sure. You might have killed me with all the shopping.”
“You are aware most of the shops we went into where your choice, are you not?”
“Just trying to help out!”
“I’ll give it to you,” Henry laughs. “But only because it helped me find a gift for your father.”
“Yeah, he’ll love that artisan coffee basket. I’m a little jealous, actually.”
“There’s still time to go back. Want one too?” Henry asks, stopping in his tracks and actually turning around.
“What? No? I want something original!” Alex calls out, lunging forward to drag Henry back by the arm. He doesn’t let go until well after he’s sure Henry isn’t going to bolt.
“So, where to next?” Henry wants to know, silently chuckling.
“Well, this might sound weird, but my mom would really appreciate some good meat for the grill.”
“I’m not giving your mother meat,” Henry splutters, pulling a face. “I thought perhaps I’d give her some gloves for her visit next month.”
“Oh, yeah, she’s gonna need them. She’s always complaining DC is too cold and New York is gonna be icy as fuck. She’s not going to survive us dragging her around town for five days straight.”
“In that case, it seems we have a plan. And after that, we only have Nora’s left.”
“And mine,” Alex responds impulsively before quickly adding, “just kidding. You know you don’t have to get me anything.”
“What?” Henry asks, frowning again. “Of course I do. I was actually planning on leaving you at the sweet shop while I have a look around.”
“Just give me the one you already got me once your suitcase shows up.”
“Absolutely not,” Henry says decisively.
“Fine,” Alex replies, shaking his head. “Can I at least have a say?”
“Absolutely not,” Henry repeats, this time sounding a lot more amused.
“Just don’t get me something lame. Like a tie, or socks.”
“I was considering bunny slippers.”
“Those would be epic. Get me those.”
An hour later, Alex leans against the wall outside the candy shop with a special edition Twizzler hanging from his mouth and a small bag filled with sugary goodness in his hand. He looks up just in time to catch Henry step out onto the street a couple stores over, his face lighting up as he looks over and spots Alex.
Alex is pretty sure no one has ever looked at him that way. No one has ever made Alex feel that way. Out of nowhere, it’s intensifying, that feeling in his chest, filling his lungs, making him drown in the sensation of Henry.
Because there is no other word for it; what he’s feeling is all Henry. He can’t really describe it as anything other than whole, like home.
Like it is with Henry, where he needs to be.
It’s not new, this particular feeling, not exactly, but it’s as if, all of a sudden, Alex is understanding the context that he had been missing. Something is different and it’s not Henry that has changed, it’s Alex. Alex, who has taken of the blinders he didn’t even know he was wearing.
And, now, Henry is getting closer and Alex is trying to speedrun an internal crisis while unconsciously lifting his hand in greeting and grinning widely at his best friend, who turns out to be more than just his best friend. A lot more. The ‘Alex might be in love’ kind of more.
“Sugar acquired?” Henry asks when he’s close enough, and Alex lifts the bag as an answer.
“Want one?” he asks, taking the package of Twizzlers out.
“Sure,” Henry smiles, lifting one out and savouring the first taste as he wraps his lips around it.
Alex can do nothing but stare.
Memories of Henry’s mouth in other situations flood Alex’s mind. Henry smiling, Henry sipping his tea, Henry nervously biting his lip, Henry talking about a new book, Henry licking a crumb off of his lips.
Fucking hell, he’s an idiot, isn’t he?
“Ready to head back?” Henry asks, pulling him out of his racing mind.
“Yeah,” Alex breathes out and looks at Henry a moment longer before he forces himself to turn around and start walking.
“Are you alright?”
“I…” Alex starts and stops. “Yeah, I think I am.”
Because this doesn’t feel wrong. These not-so-sudden feelings he’s having for Henry feel right. He isn’t even that surprised, he just wonders why the fuck he hasn’t realised it before. Or, you know, how the fuck he missed the part where he’s not straight? That’s a plot twist he didn’t see coming.
“You seem distracted,” Henry continues, sounding a little worried.
“Just… Yeah, just thinking.”
“Good thoughts or bad thoughts?” Henry asks, once again proving he knows Alex too well.
“Good thoughts,” he says with an unavoidable grateful smile. “Just, new thoughts.”
“Is this a ‘talk it through’ kind of thought?”
“Probably,” Alex half snorts, half chuckles, realising they will most likely need to have a conversation sometime soon.
“When you’re ready then,” Henry nods understandingly.
If only Henry knew what this little meltdown was about. Fuck, if only Alex knew how Henry would feel about it, because at this moment, about a dozen possible outcomes are popping up out of nowhere, ranging from a furious Henry and the end of their friendship to Henry declaring his undying love for him, and it’s absolutely nerve-wracking.
Here’s the thing; Alex would have known, wouldn’t he? If Henry had feeling for him? Sure, he knows Henry is gay, but that doesn’t mean that Alex is his type. And, besides, wouldn’t there at least be hints or something?
Seriously, Alex would know, right?
But, then again, he didn’t even know he had very romantic and very sexual feelings for his best friend. Didn’t even know he thought Henry was attractive – no, scratch that, he’s fucking hot as hell. Like, mouth-wateringly hot, creating holes in the ozone layer hot, burning your tongue when you lick him kind of hot.
Well…
There’s a distracting thought.
“Christ, Alex,” Henry chuckles next to him. “You could power a small village with the energy you’re currently exuding. Darling, are you absolutely positive there is nothing I can do?”
“No, you’re good,” Alex says, sending Henry a genuine smile that seems to ease Henry’s mind a little. “And so am I. Really.”
“I trust you,” Henry smiles with the cutest eye crinkles, immediately stealing all of the air out of Alex’s lungs.
He’s definitely a blind fucking idiot, but, God, is he glad that he’s finally seeing clearly.
---
It takes them another couple of hours to get home. Henry is the kind of person to forget about time and space the moment he enters a bookstore, and Alex uses that opportunity to wrap his mind around this new reality. And to steal a couple of glances of the way Henry gets engrossed in a book as he flips through it, how he moves around both deliberately and without an apparent purpose. Every flex of his muscles, every step those long ass legs take, every time Henry looks up and flashes him a smile; it all solidifies Alex’s feelings for the man.
Henry restrains himself and buys only one book to replace the one he had brought and is currently lost in one of America’s numerous airports, and Alex secretly buys one of the books Henry has put back on the shelf after adding it to his wish list. An extra Christmas gift never hurt anyone.
They do make it home eventually, and while Henry washes his new clothes and retreats to his room to wrap the new gifts, Alex and June meet up in the kitchen to prepare a lime chicken chili for everyone. He listens to June as she explains how she got the huge bruise on her arm, laughing at the thought of Nora on ice skates and feeling a little jealous he didn’t get to join in on the fun. He’s glad June had a good time, though. She deserves to unwind a little after working for months on end to try and get her work published.
“So, good day, then?” he checks and June hums contentedly.
“And you and Henry?” she asks, not looking up from the chicken she’s currently seasoning. Alex makes an unidentifiable sound that even he doesn’t understand. “Not good? Did you have a fight?”
“Why’d you immediately jump to us fighting?” Alex asks, frowning. “We don’t fight.”
“You don’t fight?” June laughs. “You two don’t agree on anything! All you do is fight.”
“Nah,” Alex dismisses her comment, his chest pleasantly tightening at the flashes of memories of him and Henry arguing about the stupidest shit, just for the sake of it, “that’s not fighting. That’s just how we talk.”
“Fine, bickering then,” she answers with an amused smirk on her face.
“Gross. That sounds like you’re describing Abuelo and Abuela!” Alex says defensively. “Are you comparing us to an ancient married couple?”
“Well…” June replies, stretching the ‘l’ to an unnatural length. She looks up then, searching his eyes as she lifts one accusatory, knowing eyebrow.
Right. Maybe she isn’t that far off.
Alex sighs deeply on a shaky exhale. He takes a quick look around to make sure they’re alone before he takes the plunge.
“So…” he starts quietly, taking another much needed breath before he continues. “Today was really, really nice, and I realised I want more time to show Henry around Austin, and that he’s, like, the best person I know and that, y’know, I think I’m in love with him?”
“You’ve had a busy day,” June says, the simplicity of the comment stroking with the tears that are welling up into her eyes and the trembling of her voice.
“Well, I also figured out I’m not straight, so there’s that,” he adds, feeling his throat tightening but a burden lift off of his shoulders. “And that I really like seeing Henry in my clothes and maybe I always have?”
“He does look good in your shirt, doesn’t he?” she says on a broken laugh.
“It’s the shoulders, Bug!” Alex shouts as quietly as he can muster. “How did I not notice the shoulders? Or the legs?”
“Oh, you have,” June snorts. “You’ve complained about them on multiple occasions.”
“And, fuck, that blush and his eyes,” Alex continues, his own eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head at the mental image.
“Are we just naming body parts now?”
“I could!” Alex admits. “They’re all fucking great!”
June laughs wholeheartedly at his elated frustration.
“I’m going to hug you,” she tells him, quickly scrubbing the chicken off of her hands, drying them and lunging forward to throw her arms around Alex’s shoulder to pull him close. His own dirty hands prevent him from reciprocating fully, but at least he’s able to bury his face into her hair and breathe in deeply.
“Have you talked to him yet?” she asks. “Not that you have to, if you’re not ready. Just want to know what he knows, y’know?”
Alex chuckles, “Not yet. Soon, I think.”
“Yes, soon is good,” she nods, pulling back and smiling through her tears. “I’m really happy for you, you know?”
“That’s a little presumptuous,” Alex can’t help but snort. “I don’t even how he feels about this whole thing.”
“No, I mean, I’m happy you figured this out, that you’re growing into the person you’re meant to be.”
“Very philosophical,” he says, swallowing away the lump in his throat.
“I’m a wise woman, as you know,” she grins.
“A wise woman who’s going to ruin dinner for everyone if we don’t get back to it.”
“Can’t even give my brother a hug, for the love of God,” she mumbles, throwing her hands up in the air theatrically.
She squeezes his upper arm once more before wiping her eyes and turning back to the chicken. Alex swallows his own tears down and goes back to mixing the ingredients for the sauce, gently bumping his arm against June’s, knowing she understands what he means by it; that he loves her more than life itself.
When Henry walks in a little while later, the chicken is sizzling in the pan and the sauce is simmering on the stove.
“That smells incredible,” he hums, smiling softly and stepping up next to Alex to peer into the pans.
“It’ll taste even better,” Alex beams back, struggling not to blurt out it doesn’t smell half as good as Henry does. Instead, he dips his pinkie into the sauce and puts it into his mouth, sucking of the rich flavour with a pleased hum.
It’s impossible to miss how Henry’s gaze follows his movements, zeroing in on where Alex’s finger is disappearing into his mouth. Henry’s breath hitches for a fraction of a second, but Alex notices anyway. Instantly, Alex’s heart start thudding uncontrollably and his entire body buzzes with a sudden surge of hope and anticipation.
“Wanna try?” he croaks, not waiting for an answers, dipping his other pinkie into the pan and lifting it up to Henry’s mouth, his free hand cupping underneath it to catch any potential droplets.
Henry’s eyes flicker between his finger, his mouth and his eyes for an unbearable amount of seconds. The sauce starts sliding down now, towards the back of his hand, but Alex doesn’t move. Not until Henry tells him ‘no, thanks’ or-
Or until Henry’s head dips forward, like it’s doing now, and he wraps his lips around Alex’s finger. Before he realises that, yes, this is fucking happening, his pinkie sinks into the warmth and softness of Henry’s tongue, and the world narrows down to where they’re connected.
Excruciatingly slowly, Henry sucks the sauce off of Alex’s fingers and pulls back, never losing eye contact. Alex’s mouth drops open a fraction and his eyes keep widening until it feels like they might roll out of their sockets. His other hand drops to nowhere, his breath hitches and he’s pretty sure he’s not in control of any of his functions anymore.
Then, Henry pulls back completely and Alex wants nothing more than to move with him.
“Good?” he asks, nearly choking on the word.
“It’s… I’m… Bloody hell,” Henry rushes out.
Alex doesn’t have time to react, even if he would have been capable saying anything coherent, because Henry’s lips all but crash onto his. Alex’s throat expels a groaning huff and the hands that are still lingering by Henry’s chest desperately take a hold of the fabric of his shirt. Alex’s shirt that Henry is still wearing.
He doesn’t hesitate, however, and pushes himself up into the kiss, closing the distance as much as possible.
Somewhere, June stifles a choked laugh, turns off the stove and leaves, but it doesn’t really register. All of Alex’s senses are occupied by Henry. By Henry’s strong hands that are landing on his side and back, Henry’s fingers digging into him, their noses bumping as they move desperately to deepen the kiss, Henry’s warm mouth on his, Henry’s tongue, Henry’s breath fanning over him, the small noises escaping the both of them.
This, this is definitely something they should have been doing for years.
“Henry,” he breathes hoarsely when Henry pulls back slightly, one hand coming up to Alex’s jaw, a thumb gently pulling across his bottom lip.
Slowly, Alex blinks his eyes open and is met with fiery blushed cheeks and Henry’s still closed eyes. Alex realises he’s never seen those blond, delicate eyelashes from this close and subsequently wonders what else there is to discover about Henry.
“That was okay, right?” Henry asks, his voice just as raw as Alex’s, but it’s also laced with some uncertainty. “I acted on instinct and then I panicked for a moment, thinking I’d ruined it all, but I haven’t, have I?”
“No, you’re good,” Alex chuckles wetly. “Didn’t ruin anything.”
“Except for myself, perhaps,” Henry laughs on a shaky exhale.
“Fucking hell, yeah, I mean… Fuck.”
Apparently unable to speak coherently, Alex tries to explain what he means by snaking a hand up to Henry’s jaw, gently nudging it, in the hopes Henry picks up on his intentions. There’s a small, desperate noise coming from Henry’s throat before he moves his own hand back to Alex’s hair and leans in for another kiss, just like Alex had hoped.
Alex sighs contentedly as he disappears into the feeling of having Henry everywhere. His entire body tingles when Henry tugs at his curls and he feels Henry gasp when Alex presses as much of himself as he can against Henry’s lengthy body, which is quickly answered by a welcoming pressure on his lower back when Henry moves his hand there, keeping Alex firmly in place.
They moan in unison, sinking further and further into each other, until there’s a shout from just outside the kitchen.
“Did you guys see your mom’s text? She’s picking your dad up on her way home, since y’all had to steal his car on top of stealing his room. Need help with dinner?”
June’s warning comes too late. Before she can even finish her sentence, begging Nora not to go into the kitchen, Nora is already swinging around the corner, coming to a sudden halt when she gets an eye full of Alex and Henry hastily jumping apart from being tangled together, probably looking incredibly rumpled and a little shellshocked.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” she yells, honest to God pumping a fist into the air.
A second later, June pops up behind her, mumbling an apology and dragging Nora back out.
“Bloody Nora,” Alex says, mimicking Henry’s accent and immediately breaking out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
He pulls Henry in by his shirt and buries his head into a shoulder that’s shaking from laughter too.
But then, Henry suddenly freezes and Alex worriedly has to lean back to gouge what’s happening.
“What did she mean by your dad’s car and his room?”
“Oh, dad usually uses the car when he’s in Austin, but so do I, and he said we could use it for the day. Think he felt sorry for you not seeing your family and I’m absolutely taking advantage of that.”
“And the room?” Henry asks cautiously.
“He’s been staying in the guestroom over Christmas for the last couple of years, but when he heard you were coming over, he offered it to you and said he’d stay in a hotel instead.”
Suddenly, Henry pulls back, his eyes wide and that cute blush slowly draining from his face.
“Alex, no, it wasn’t my intention to-”
“Oh, no, sweetheart!” Alex hurries to say, pulling Henry back in with a gentle hand on each cheek. “Do not feel any sort of sorry about this! First of all, we could have just shared a room if he didn’t offer, which, fuck, I really, really want to do for completely different reasons now, but, also, my parent’s have only argued twice so far because they’re not in constant close proximity and believe me, that’s a fucking record. We should be thanking you on our fucking knees for making sure we have some peace and quiet this Christmas.”
Alex is prepared to rant a lot longer if that’s what it takes to put Henry at ease, but a choked noise breaks him out of his rambling. Henry looks flustered again, all of a sudden, and when it dawns on Alex what brought it on, a teasing grin creeps up on his face.
“You’re picturing me on my knees now, aren’t you?” he asks in a low voice.
He’s picturing it himself too, now, and it’s making him feel instantly weak in the knees. He might be on the floor quicker than he thought he’d be.
“Please, do shut up,” Henry croaks, squeezing his eyes shut. “I refuse to even think about anything sexual while we’re staying in your mother’s home.”
“You’re forgetting I grew up here,” Alex smirks. “That ship has sailed. Plenty of sexual thoughts have been had here. Believe me, these four walls have seen and heard much worse.”
“You truly should stop talking.”
“You should make me.”
“That’s so incredibly cliché, love,” Henry says with an adorable little snort. “How embarrassing."
"So, you won’t?” Alex asks, shimmying closer and lining his body up with Henry’s again.
“Didn’t say that,” Henry mumbles on a conceded sigh, already dipping his head down towards Alex’s.
The next time they’re interrupted, it’s by a gentle knock on the frame and June’s gentle voice.
“Hey, guys?” she asks tentatively. “Mom and dad are going to be back any minute now and Leo’s car has already pulled up. I can finish the chili, but you’re gonna have to move this upstairs or something. I’m, like, ecstatic for you both, but that doesn’t mean I wanna be two feet away while you two are sucking each other’s faces off.”
“Fuck off,” Alex tells her, placing one more peck on Henry’s lips before he reluctantly steps back. “I’ll cook, Henry can be my sous-chef and you guys can set the table.”
“You dare risk poisoning your family?” Henry chuckles.
“I’m pretty sure even you can stir without fucking up, Hen,” Alex snorts, making Henry laugh louder.
“Just so you know,” Nora says, waltzing into the kitchen and pulling open a cabinet to get the plates out, “this is exactly the kind of entertainment I was hoping for. Can’t wait to see what happens when your parents find out you two are no longer just living together but actually, y’know, living together.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Alex grumbles, feeling a little overwhelmed all of a sudden. “Can Henry and I at least have a conversation about this before you out me to my parents?”
Judging by the expression on Henry’s face, he isn’t ready for a public inquiry either.
“Oh, please,” Nora says, sounding like the embodiment of the worlds biggest eyeroll, “I won’t have to say a single word.”
She stops next to Alex, pointedly looking at the little space between the two, even after Alex has turned around to put the stove back on. Henry clears his throat and takes a tentative step away.
“For crying out loud,” June sighs, stomping over to the stove, pushing Alex back towards Henry and taking the spatula from Alex’s hand. “Talk. I’ll finish dinner.”
With a grateful sigh and a subtle spike of anxiety, Alex kisses June on the cheek and pushes Henry out of the kitchen, towards the stairs.
“So…” he says, when he closes his bedroom door behind him by leaning his entire body against it. “Talk?”
“Talk,” Henry nods from a few steps away.
Alex doesn’t particularly want to talk, though. He’d rather push Henry onto the bed and make out some more.
“I, uhm,” he starts anyway, his gaze drifting to the floor, feeling incredibly vulnerable, “this is all sorta new to me.”
“Which part exactly?” Henry asks softly.
“Being into you, into guys?” Alex admits before he carefully looks up and watches how Henry’s jaw drops just slightly. “But, y’know, in hindsight I was definitely attracted to you, just didn’t know I was.”
“But you are? Attracted to me?” Henry asks, sounding very hesitant.
“Yeah, baby,” Alex exhales, stepping closer and slowly lacing their fingers together. “Like, insanely attracted. Honestly, I’m kicking myself for not realising it sooner.”
“That’s alright,” Henry says on an exhale, laying his free hand tenderly on the side of Alex’s neck, stroking small circles with his thumb there. “It has been worth the wait. Hell, I never even dared to dream I could have this.”
“You wanted this?”
“Alex, darling, you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. And then you turned out to be caring and funny, incredibly smart too, and you knew just how to push my buttons. What else could I do but fall madly in love with you?”
“You love me?” Alex gasps, his fingers tightening around Henry’s in a reflex, his other hand finding its way to Henry’s chest.
“Yes, love, have for a while,” Henry answers with no uncertainty.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
“Don’t be. I’ve been more than content,” Henry says with a small shake of his head, “being your friend, sharing a home, sharing a part of your life; I’ve loved every moment we shared together.”
“Me too, Hen,” Alex answers, feeling fresh tears well up. “And I’m pretty sure I love you too, but there’s kind of a lot happening at the moment, so I’ll get back to you on that, okay?”
A tear escapes Henry as he chuckles at Alex inability to shut up.
“Whenever you’re ready, love,” he says quietly and pulls Alex into a short but incredible soft kiss that definitely rearranges some of Alex’s brain chemistry.
As their lips slowly move together, Alex fleetingly imagines how many ways there are for Henry to kiss him, feeling a little giddy about the prospect of finding out.
A moment later, Henry mumbles, “I can’t help but wonder what brought this all on,” his forehead resting against Alex’s. “I haven’t missed any signs, have I?”
Alex can’t help but huff, feeling a little bewildered.
“No, you haven’t missed anything. Or nothing intentional, anyway. Unless you noticed I had some feelings about you wearing my clothes earlier or if you realised my urge to show you around town was apparently rooted in more than friendship.”
“You like me wearing your clothes?” Henry asks, blushing furiously and looking down at Alex’s hand caressing the fabric of the shirt he’s been wearing all day.
“Fuck, yes,” Alex hisses. “I don’t know what exactly sparked it, or why now, but, seeing you here, in my own clothes? Made me realise that you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And you’re fucking hot, like, subjectively.”
Henry doesn’t immediately answer, but Alex can feel his hands shake and watches how his lower lip trembles slightly.
“Was that what was bothering you earlier today?” he asks eventually and Alex nods. “You had me worried.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“No, I know, that’s alright,” Henry says, a watery smile forming. “I understand now. Christ, it’s hard to wrap my head around you having to go through this while I was right there. I’m sorry if I made it harder for you.”
“Of course you didn’t,” Alex replies without having to think about it.
Instinctively, he leans into Henry and wraps his arms around him, holding him tightly, breathing in deeply. Henry’s arms tighten around him as well, and all they do for a moment is just stand there in a comfortable embrace.
A feeling of near euphoria surges through Alex. He’d never guess it was possible to be this happy, to be this content, to feel this safe.
It had always been there with Henry, that feeling of belonging, but it’s been set in stone now, unmovable, unshakable.
“I love you,” he whispers, knowing that’s the only way he can express any of those feelings. It’s basically screaming at him now. Between everything that has happened today, every realisation he’s made, it’s abundantly clear. There’s only one word for it; he absolutely loves this man.
“I love you too,” Henry answers just as quietly with a kiss on his temple.
---
Later that evening, not even five minutes into dinner, Alex blurts out that he’s bisexual. He doesn’t miss how all three of his parents quickly glance at Henry as they tell Alex how much they love him.
“Fine,” he adds, rolling his eyes, “and I’m apparently in love with Henry, but don’t worry, he’s a fucking prude who’ll be sleeping in his own room tonight.”
Henry does sleep in his own room that night, but so does Alex, after sneaking in at two in the morning when he couldn’t stand not being next to Henry anymore.
The next few days are filled with his entire family lovingly making fun of him for how blind he had been, and with Henry kissing it better at every opportunity.
It’s by far the best Christmas Alex has ever had.
On the morning of their trip home, Henry gets a call. His suitcase has been found and is currently waiting for him at JFK, and they’ll be able to pick it up on their way back.
Later that night, all bags and suitcases are forgotten in the living room as Alex finally gets on his knees for Henry. They’re still there the next morning when they discover every inch of each other’s naked body.
When their luggage is finally opened and stored away, Henry does so while wearing Alex’s sweatpants and one of his hoodies. And Alex? He is contemplating ditching Henry’s wardrobe altogether.