Work Text:
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“He’s here! He’s here!”
Jimin’s frantic (and not so subtle) wailing alerts him- and he reminds himself to tie the midget to a tree and chuck him off of the college roof later, because they went over this, “We have to act as natural as possible” “Yup” “As normal as possible” “Yup” “Are you sure?” “Yup” with an irritating pop at the end too, so with the whole screeching like an ostrich thing at the moment, Jungkook is set out for revenge- and he curses beneath his breath, taking a hold of Taehyung’s wrist, and pushes him behind a car.
Taehyung yelps in shock, with a harsh, “Jungkook!” before crouching down alongside his boyfriend.
“What was that for?” He asks then, rubbing along his slightly aching arm.
Jungkook looks to him, “Sorry babe, spur of the moment type of thing, you know.”
Taehyung’s face pulls into a frown, “That hurt.” And then he pouts- god, why the pout- and Jungkook melts a little on the inside, “Aw, baby. I’m so sorry. Come here.”
Taehyung smiles (so-fucking-cutely), tucking himself into welcoming arms and nuzzling his boyfriend then and there. However, their time does not permit this sort of activity apparently, and they will soon learn of this after distressed calls from their fellow friends ensue.
“Will the both of you cut it out?! This is not the time for your puppy love!” Jungkook pulls away at their eldest hyung’s shouts and looks to Taehyung with determination, “Alright. You’re ready right?”
Taehyung nods, muttering an acknowledgement, and Jungkook repeats again, “And you remember the plan?” Taehyung continues to nod until Jungkook seems somewhat more settled.
Hushing him with a soft kiss, Taehyung speaks gently with their foreheads pressed together, “Will you calm down? We’ve been over this like a million times.”
Jungkook sighs, caressing Taehyung’s cheek with his thumb, “I know- but, this is important, Tae.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow at him, “And you think it isn’t for me?”
Jungkook chuckles silently to himself and pulls back to look properly at his boyfriend- his beautiful, gentle, caring, boyfriend, that he hopefully can spend the rest of his life with. Which, of course, won't happen if their plan doesn't play out right, again adding to Jungkooks already growing levels of distress, “I just don’t want the knumbskull thinking he has any chance with you.”
Taehyung laughs fully when he sees jealousy cross Jungkook’s concerned eyes. He takes his boyfriend’s face into his palms and holds him tight, “I couldn’t imagine a future without you, Ggukie. Don’t worry.”
And when Taehyung takes his bottom lip between his teeth, and gnaws at it, Jungkook smiles knowingly, “That’s a relief. Because I might have already started investing money into constructing our dream house in the mountains.”
Taehyung can’t help but bring the guy into another kiss after that, “Why are you so cute, baby? God, I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Tae.”
Little sobs are then after heard through their respective walkie-talkies, and Jungkook feels the need to roll his eyes (and possibly have them fall out) because they can’t deal with an emotional Hoseok at the moment- at least not when they’re just about ready to get into action (the plan- get the plan into action, Jesus Christ, people).
“Hobie hyung, don’t.” Taehyung cuts in, instead.
“I-i’m sorry. Y-you two are just s-so cute together.” And then a pause, “And Yoongi and I just wanted you to know, but if everything goes to hell today, and Taehyung ends up marrying this dude that we’re about to scam, we want you to know that we shipped you two together all along.”
There’s slight ruffling on the other line, and then a very unsettled (maybe disgusted) voice comes through from the device, “I don’t know what bullshit Hobie just spouted, but if you two don’t stop sucking face right now, I’m out of this; and then this scheme of yours can go to hell with the rest of you. And I didn’t get out of bed this early for that to happen. So, skip the theatrics please. And fucking get to it (the plan, he’s talking about the plan).”
When Yoongi’s monologue is over, Jungkook purses his lips together and answers back thinly, “Alright, we’re on it. Is everybody in place?”
“Yeah, Namjoon and I are in the college grounds.” Check.
“Yoongi and I are near the parking lots.” Check.
“I’m near the entrance where the guy’s going to meet Taetae.” Park-fucking-Jimothy. Mother-fucking checked (note: also, put him in check when he’s around Taehyung).
Jungkook nods absently, and replies, “Alright. All good to go. We all know what to do right?”
Multiple groans and complains are his answers, and Taehyung swiftly pecks him on the lips before standing up, laughing lightly, and leaving.
Jungkook sighs to himself, slumping against the car. His mind quickly gets clouded with everything that could possibly go wrong. But he quickly pushes the thoughts to the side with confidence in their friends and in his love. There’s no way they could fail- (“strategically there’s many things that could go wrong” “Namjoon, don’t worry the poor kid” “I’m not! I’m just thinking practically” “And look at where your practicality has brought you now, Joonie” “Seokjin hyung, that ditch was way longer than I thought it would be” “No, Namjoon, that was a fucking swimming pool”)- Jungkook groans out loud to himself.
Never mind on the failing. It’s fine if the plan today fails. Jungkook will have confidence in their love to fly again tomorrow.
<><><><><><><><><>
One week ago (a.k.a. The time in which they came up with said evil, conniving, and desperate scheme)
Taehyung’s usually pleasant face is furrowed with unease as he glares at his phone and this, of course, sets off something in Jungkook, “Babe, what’s wrong?”
They don’t hide anything from one another- (even childhood crushes, and let me tell you that one did not go well at all)- so when Taehyung mutters a silent, “Nothing.” Jungkook hears warning bells chiming all across their apartment- maybe even underneath his iron man duvet (and that shit is perfection).
“No, seriously. What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks again, leaning over to see what Taehyung’s looking at.
And when Taehyung leans away- how fucking dare he- and covers his screen with his chest, all the flying fucks Jungkook has never given pour in from the ceiling and he mutters a loud, “Oh hell no” before launching himself across their couch.
Attacking his boyfriend (with tickles) has become an art, and pinning him proficiently to the couch has become a creation. So with ease, Jungkook snatches the device from his hands and Taehyung of course squeals and throws a hissy fit beneath him.
He looks at the screen- after having to unlock it (both of their phone passwords being the first day they met one another)- and hears Taehyung gasp out loud, trying to catch his breath, watching meekly as Jungkook continues to scroll through his chat screen.
Jungkook’s furrowed eyebrows and deeply molded frown show Taehyung that he’s seen the conversation he’s been having with his mother.
“She’s setting you up on another date?” He asks, voice drowning with hurt.
Taehyung goes still at this, “Baby, I tried telling her. She won’t listen.”
“Why won’t she forgive me? I’ve tried everything to apologize.” Jungkook sighs in defeat, falling back down on the couch and glaring at their poor, unfortunate pet cactus, Cactoes.
Taehyung crawls along their couch until he’s curled up in Jungkook’s lap and looks up at him through long eyelashes- the way he knows Jungkook will just melt at him- and tries reasoning, “Well you almost did kill her.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“We had to call 911.”
“How was I supposed to know she was severely allergic to peanuts!”
“I told you before we went to her birthday party.”
Jungkook’s mouth opens, but then closes again and he continues to stare pointedly at their pet cactus, “In my defense, you were probably the cause of this.”
Taehyung sputters then, “How so?”
“I was probably too busy looking at you to even think about what you were saying to me.”
“...”
“...”
“If there was a way to throw you out of our third floor window, and not get arrested for first degree manslaughter, I would do it.”
“...But you still love me right?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I still love you.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Phase 1: J-Hope
“What’s the guy’s name again?” Hoseok asks, picking at his fingernails.
“Taecyeon. Ok Taecyeon.” Jungkook mutters silently from his line.
“Alright. So-- Oh shit!” Hoseok swiftly ducks behind a wall when he spots the guy, “He’s here.”
Hoseok whistles lowly through the speaker, “Damn, son. He’s fine as hell. Better than that photo you showed me too.” (And yeah, Jungkook might have shown them all a very ‘dulled’ down photo of the guy, but hey, can’t hurt to hurt the competition, right?).
“You should set me up with him.” Comes Seokjin’s (highly unnecessary) voice over the speaker.
“I will do no such thing.” Jungkook seethes through the line, already irritated; and if words could be felt, Hoseok’s walkie-talkie would be a pile of goop on the floor from how angry Gguk sounds.
“Will you all shut up? He’s walking towards me.” The line goes silent just in time for Taecyeon to walk up to him.
“Um, excuse me?” Comes a deep, suave voice, “Do you perhaps, by any chance, know where I can find a Kim Taehyung?”
Hoseok smirks, getting into character, and pulls the guy quickly behind a nearby pillar. Taecyeon seems all too confused, and the expression on his face at the moment, is quite indeed priceless.
“How much are you willing to pay?”
The confusion seems to only mold deeper into Taecyeon’s perfectly sculptured visage when he asks, “I-i’m sorry?”
Hoseok sighs, tilting his head to the side, and quirking his lips cheekily, “You know. To do the deed for night? How much are you willing to pay for him?”
“Pay for him?! What are you talking-” Taecyeon's voice starts raising slowly, and Hoseok has to slap a hand over his mouth to keep it down, “Don’t you know to keep it low when we’re talking about this stuff?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think we’re talking about the same guy-”
“Kim Taehyung? Is that who you’re looking for?” A voice cuts in.
Hoseok and Taecyeon turn their heads to finds a shorter male standing before them.
“Do you know him? Kim Taehyung?” Taecyeon asks.
Yoongi raises an eyebrow, “The happy, bubbly one? Is that the Kim Taehyung you’re talking about?”
Taecyeon’s face washing over with solace and he nods, “Yeah. That’s the one.”
Yoongi raises an arm out and beckons him over, “I’ll show you to him.”
When Taecyeon follows Yoongi with reassurance, Hoseok picks up his walkie-talkie and whispers into it, “Phase 1 complete. Suga has retrieved the scapegoat.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Phase 2: Suga
“So you want to meet Kim Taehyung, huh?” Yoongi asks as he leads the guy down the halls.
Taecyeon gives him a small smile and nods, “Yeah. He’s a childhood acquaintance of mine, I guess you can say? We were supposed to meet up today, so he’ll probably be expecting me.”
“Oh, he’s always expecting someone.” Yoongi says, smiling to himself when the suggestive tone plays off just right.
Taecyeon’s face gets pulled into a small frown at this, but he nods it aside instead to ask, “So where are we heading to…”
“Suga. The name’s Suga.”
“Ah, yes.. Suga-sshi. Where are we heading to?” The name comes out weird on his tongue, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“The alleys, of course.” Yoongi says, letting the words roll out with finesse.
Taecyeon stops in his steps, and says, blinking, “What?”
Yoongi turns around to stare at him, as if it was the most logical thing in the world, “Why’d you stop?”
“Why are we heading to the alleys?” He asks, fidgeting slightly in his stance.
“You said you want to find Kim Taehyung, yeah?” Taecyeon nods, “Well then that’s where we’ll find Kim Taehyung. So come on, I don’t have all day.”
Taecyeon looks like a kicked puppy, and Yoongi would almost feel bad if it weren’t for the lamb skewers that Jungkook had promised to pay him with at the end of their mission.
“Why would we find Taehyung in the alleys though? What is he doing there?”
Yoongi sighs, and shakes his head from side to side, looking at the taller male with pity, “You innocent, naive little child, you. That’s where all the stoners are found, of course.”
Taecyeon’s eyes would have widened into the size of tiny cup saucers (if that were possible), “Stoners?! No, no. We’re not possibly talking about the same Kim Taehyung, Suga-shi.”
Yoongi reaches a hand out to him, but Taecyeon takes a step away from him, “I have to go. Thank you for trying to help though.” He says hurriedly, before turning to leave.
Yoongi still notices the little bead of sweat that trickles down the side of his face though, and smiles to himself. Taking his walkie into his hand, he whispers, “Phase 2 complete. Confused scapegoat is heading for the school grounds. Jin and Rap Monster, get ready.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Phase 3: Jin
“You seem lost, sweetheart. Do you need help with anything?”
Taecyeon turns around with wide eyes to meet with a tall, elegant male. His voice is saccharine in nature and his face pleasantly shows the same.
“U-um, yes. Do you know a Kim Taehyung?” He asks for the second time that day, but this time he’s feeling a lil’ bit more hesitant.
A crossed look splatters over the other male’s face, “What business do you have with him?”
Taecyeon looks down at the floor a little flustered, “Do you know him? Um, he’s my- we’re supposed to- go on a date today?”
Seokjin rolls his eyes painfully, and makes it look very well natural, “Don’t you know better than to go on a date with that kid?”
Taecyeon tilts his head to the side, “Why not?” He sighs, getting quickly annoyed with how everyone keeps on talking in circles; nobody really getting straight to the point, “Why is everyone talking about him like he’s some sort of maniac?”
Seokjin narrows his eyes at the guy, “Because he is.” There’s a pause, for emphasis, and then, “He set fire to the college’s chemical lab to get back at the teacher’s assistant. He ruined the school’s annual celebrations by blowing up the stage with light-up chinese fire dragons, and managed to catch our college dean’s hair on fire in the process. Not to mention his latest stunt: spray painting a green dick over the school’s entrance for the world to see. The guy is delusional!”
And after Taecyeon’s had time to soak all that in, Seokjin warns him off with a, “So it’s best that you stand clear of him, you understand?”
Taecyeon nods his head, still doubtful. Seokjin can just see the gears turning in that head of his. Taecyeon looks up at Seokjin then, “I just don’t understand though. He- he was such a gentle guy two months ago when we met at his mother’s birthday party. He was so beautiful and gorgeous, and looked like such a sweetheart-”
“I’ll tell you what happened to Kim Taehyung.”
Taecyeon and Jin turn their heads to catch sight of Namjoon standing against a pillar- his arms were folded and his eyes looked off into the distance like they held all the answers to the universe in them, but truth be told, he looked like a dingus with his that large ass foot cast on his leg.
“You will?” Taecyeon asks, extremely hopeful.
Namjoon nods his head then, rolling an arm out to bring the poor lad to his side, “I will. Follow me.”
“Phase 3 complete. Scapegoat has been lured in by the rap monster.” (“Who the fuck decided on Rap Monster?” “It’s a cool name!” “No it’s not, it sounds like something you’d hit with a stick at a kid’s party” “You mean a pinata?” “Yeah, that.” “...” “...” “You named yourself J-hope, Hobie” “I am the living incarnation of sunshine, I’m all the hope in this world that you’re sorry ass will get Namjoon”).
<><><><><><><><><>
Phase 4 (The Final Phase): Rap Monster
“So, um, what happened to Taehyung?”
“He-”
“Did he get into an accident and lose all of his memory, causing him to grieve with his losses and go into depression and turn into a monster?”
“No-”
“Did he kill someone. Oh god, he killed someone didn’t he?”
Namjoon shakes his head slowly from side to side, having an inner monologue with himself- This idiot is easier to fool than I thought he’d be, I’d almost feel bad... if he wasn’t this stupid- “No. Even worse.”
Taecyeon’s face breaks out into one straight out of a horror movie, “Even worse?” He whispers, fearing for the answer.
Namjoon nods his head, “Even worse.”
“Well what happened?”
“He broke up with his boyfriend.” Namjoon says, finally.
Taecyeon morphs into a somewhat more suitable expression, “He what.” He deadpans.
“You heard me right. He broke up with his boyfriend.”
“Was it that bad?” Taecyeon pries, now starting to tug at the bottom of Namjoon’s shirt- much to his chagrin- fidgeting with it nervously.
Namjoon walks forward a little- slapping Taecyeon’s hand away from his shirt- and motions for him to step forward, “Let me tell you a little story, son.”
Taecyeon steps towards him, and they walk silently down the halls until Namjoon speaks up, “Once upon a time two months ago, there were two boys that were madly in love with one another. They were the school’s ideal couple: always holding hands, bringing coffee for another, and going on study dates. They used to even wait outside of their classes for one another.”
“Well then what happened-” A hand is slapped over Taecyeon’s mouth then, shushing him.
“Shh- Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt when a story is being told?” Namjoon gets a muffled up sorry underneath his palm, so he continues removing his hand, “Patience is the key.”
“Mkay.”
“Anyways, so then, you must be wondering what must have gone wrong-” And when Taecyeon actually tries to answer that, Namjoon holds up a finger to his lips, “Don’t answer that, that was meant to be rhetorical-” He gets back to the story, “One day, Taehyung came back to college looking as gloomy as if death had struck on his closest relatives. Later on, of course, the entire college would find out that, Taehyung had walked in on his boyfriend cheating on him with his friend from high school, and then they would end it then and there.”
Taecyeon gasps, holding a hand up to his chest, “No way.”
“Total way.”
“Like way way?”
“Way way.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, total shit.”
“So is that why- he’s like this?” Taecyeon waves an arm before him, and Namjoon nods agreeingly, “Yes. That is the story of how sweet, bubbly, cute Kim Taehyung turned into this mess of a human being. All because of Jeon Jungkook.”
“That guy who came to Taehyung’s mom’s birthday party?”
“I presume, yes.”
“He looked so genuine and caring though. How could he do this?” Taecyeon asks, pouting to himself and seeming to lull the thought over in his head time and time again.
“Yes, it is very unfortunate. However, what is done is done. Kim Taehyung is trash now. And you obviously are not. So you should stop looking for him and head your dainty ass home, before-”
“What are you talking about? Why would I head home when my Taetae needs saving from depression and a shoulder to cry on? Taetae needs me.” Taecyeon assures, eyes confident and struck with passion all of a sudden.
“Oh fuck.” Namjoon mutters.
Before he can stop the guy, Taecyeon is already walking away- determined to find his precious Taetae probably- and turning around to wave at him, “Bye, sir! I don’t know your name! But thank you for telling me all of this! I have to go find him now and forever hold him in my arms!”
“Oh fuckedy fuck.” Namjoon says again, scrambling for his walkie talkie tucked away in his jeans.
“Ugh, guys… we might have a problem.” He says into it when he tunes it back into audibility.
“You fucking think?!” Namjoon hears them all barking at him like dogs and scrunches his face up in hurt.
A voice interrupts them all in the middle of this, and Namjoon is surprised to hear Taehyung’s voice over the com, “Will you all calm down, please? What’s done is done. We’ll just have to use our back-up plan then. Everybody get ready.”
They all agree on it.
Plan B is to be set into action.
<><><><><><><><><>
Phase 5 (The Actual Final Phase- if Namjoon ends up screwing up): V/ Chimchim
“I really don’t like you doing this.” Is the first thing that Jungkook says when he sees his boyfriend standing before him with a scanty top and shorts (that Jungkook does not approve of because they are higher than three inches above knee level).
Taehyung sighs as he fixes his hair in the screen of his phone, “Babe, I don’t like doing this either. But you know it’s our last resort.”
“I don’t trust Jimothy.” Jungkook says right after.
Taehyung smiles at this, “I can take care of myself, Ggukie. Stop worrying.”
“That’s my job, Tae. I always worry about you.”
Taehyung looks at him, pecking him on the cheek, “You know we can’t have you acting as my boyfriend, Gguk. Namjoon just told Taecyeon that we broke up. So it wouldn’t make any sense.”
“I am your boyfriend.” Jungkook huffs petulantly, “And I still don’t trust the midget. You know he’s had a crush on you since fucksever.”
“I also know that he knows that I would never leave you for anyone else, ever. So calm down would you?”
Jungkook deflates at that, “Alright. But I’m stepping in if he does something stupid.”
Taehyung shoots him down with a glare, “No, Gguk. You won’t be doing that, because then you’ll be compromising this whole scheme and I am not willing to deal with my mother about this. Got it?”
“Fine.” He grumbles.
Jimin walks up to the both of them decked out in a green jumper jacket, faded ripped jeans, and brown hair ruffled back with perfection.
Taehyung forgets all about it their previous conversation, and turns, smiling, to his best friend, “Jiminnie! You ready?”
Jimin smiles until his eyes completely disappear (Jungkook deeply wishes that Jimothy would do so as well) and brings an arm to wrap around Taehyung’s waist, “F’course, babe.” He says, emphasizing on the pet name just to spite Jungkook.
“Is he coming soon?” Jimin asks, resting his face against Taehyung’s neck.
Taehyung nods, and tells him, “I should probably leave now, so that I can meet him. You’re coming out later aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I’ll be coming out later. So go ahead and work your magic, Taetae.” Jimin says, pinching Taehyung’s cheeks.
“Alright, Chimchim, see you!” Taehyung says, walking away, and turns back one last time to blow a kiss to Jungkook.
Jungkook grins in satisfaction at the gesture, and then glares at Jimin.
“I’ll be watching you.” He says, warning evident in his tone.
Jimin winks at him, challenging, and says, “Wouldn’t want you to miss it, Gguk.”
<><><><><><><><><>
Taecyeon first lays eyes on Taehyung at his mother’s birthday party from afar; but, from up front, Taehyung is the most beautiful creature his eyes have ever had the grace to land upon.
“You’re so beautiful and I want to hold you forever in my arms.” Is what he says when he sees Taehyung sitting by a fountain on his phone.
Taehyung looks up from his screen, and stands up before him, “Oh, hi! My mother told me you’d be coming today.” And when Taecyeon does nothing but just stare at him, Taehyung doesn’t really know what to do, so he offers for the guy to take a seat next to him on the bench.
Taecyeon does so, as soon as the words come out of Taehyung’s mouth.
“So, um, how have you bee-”
“Oh hold that thought-” Taehyung stops him, holding up a hand, and tries to reach for something in his pocket.
Taecyeon gapes in horror as a mixture of different brands of condoms and cigarette packets (not his) spill out of Taehyung’s pocket at the same time.
Taehyung lets out a small oops, and dips down to grab at them all when a bottle of drugs (medicine tubs filled with gummy bears) fall out of the back of his shorts and hit the ground as well.
Taehyung straightens back up afterwards, “So- you were saying?”
Taecyeon fails with his words when the side of Taehyung’s loose top ends up falling over his smooth shoulder to reveal a wide array of hickeys and bruises (courtesy of Jungkook surely), “I-i, um, not sure what to-”
“You never been on a date, alpaca man? Why are you stuttering like a orangutan?” Jimin says, walking leisurely over to the bench to take a seat next to Taehyung.
“I have- just not- Who is this?” Taecyeon asks, voice timid and embarrassed.
Taehyung pipes up then, grabbing a hold of Jimin’s arm and tucking himself into his best friend’s side, “This is Park Jimin, my boyfriend.”
Jimin smirks at that, and looks over to where he knows Jungkook is watching from behind his car (fists probably clenched and white at the moment), “Yeah, I’m his boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He reaches a hand forward to greet the guy, but Taecyeon rudely (not really, he’s just really confused) denies him, choosing instead to stare back and forth between the two friends.
“Boyfriend?!”
Taehyung hums at the statement, “Didn’t my mom tell you of the arrangement? I’ll be dating Jimin until you and I-” He motions between them, “-decide to take this relationship seriously.”
“So you’d just drop him if we started dating?” Taecyeon asks, extremely befuddled.
Taehyung shrugs, “Yeah, I guess. He doesn’t really mind, do you Chimchim?”
Jimin shakes his head, leaning his face far too close to Taehyung’s and nuzzling his nose against Taehyung’s own, “Of course not, baby. I’m just glad to have you for now.”
Taehyung laughs and turns to Taecyeon, “See?”
Taecyeon doesn’t see anything, that’s for sure. This whole day has been utter chaos, and he honestly just wants to go home and eat some of his mother’s homemade food- but he’ll get through this, because Taehyung needs his help to revive himself into the once great human being that he used to be.
“Taehyung, listen. I know this isn’t you. The Taehyung I knew would never act like this. You’re confused. He’s not right for you. Probably isn’t even the best kisser-”
Jimin scoffs loudly, “I am an amazing kisser!”
“That is not the point, Jimin-shi.”
“Yes, it is.”
Taehyung butts in, “No, it’s not.”
“And I’ll show you just how good of a kisser I am too, Taec-idiot.”
Jimin quickly grabs a hold of Taehyung’s face in his hands and holds him in place. And before Taehyung can even cut in, “Wait, Jimin- stop-” Jungkook, like a flash of lightning, already has Jimin thrown to the floor and is pinning him down with a leg on his chest.
Taecyeon watches in slow motion as all of this takes place and declares himself to be either sleeping or partially comatose, because this all escalated way too quickly to be real.
“I knew this would happen!” Jungkook growls at Jimin, who growls back at him when he finally realises what’s happened.
“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung look up at Taecyeon then, all of them consumed in their own little drama.
“U-um, y-yeah.” Taehyung sputters out, trying to make sense of things, “Yeah, Jungkook what are you doing here? And how dare you prevent my Chimchim and I from kissing?”
Jungkook takes this time to throw a final glare at Jimin, who’s still on the floor, before turning around to his boyfriend, and swiftly going down on one knee, “Taehyung. Kim Taehyung, my love. It was a mistake for me to have let you go at all. I have regretted our break up since the second it happened. Please forgive me with all of your heart and take me back.”
Taehyung gasps dramatically, letting his head fall back, and places a hand on his forehead (at least his drama major is paying off for something), “Oh Ggukie! Even after all of this time? You still love me?”
Jungkook nods his head, face full of emotion, “Yeah, Tae. Please let us be together, and I promise to love you forever and ever and ever.” The last ‘ever’ he says while pointedly looking at Jimin.
“Of course, baby. Of course I’ll accept you. Kiss me, you fool.” Taehyung says, all while pulling Jungkook into him from where he’s kneeling and kissing him silly.
Taecyeon stands there in desolation, wondering where he had gone wrong when a voice breaks him from his revery, “Well. That happened.” He turns to find those guys from before standing in a group collectively watching them.
Namjoon whistles and ruffles his hair, “Wow, and Jungkook thinks we’re dramatic.”
Hoseok is actually in literal tears apparently, and is sobbing at the moment into a very indifferent Yoongi who stands there still as stone; thinking about ways to get his lamb kebobs later from Jungkook (who owes him extra, for all the added bullshit at the end).
Jin comforts Hoseok, while cooing at the pair, and speaks up when he finds it appropriate, “Well, I think you’ve seen enough. Jungkook and Taehyung are clearly, madly, and infuriatingly in love with one another. So you can show yourself out then, I suppose?”
Taecyeon just looks utterly defeated, so when he mumbles out a quiet, “O-okay.” And turns to wave at them all, they know that they’ve gotten rid of the guy for good.
“Phew. That took forever. I’m famished. Who’s up for lamb ske-”
“Aw, man! They’re still making out!”
“Oh stop, oh God! They’re made for each other. Total idiots the both of them, I tell you.”
“You two are disgustingly in love with each other, you know that? It literally makes me want to throw-”
And, to tell the truth, yeah, they are disgustingly in love with one another. So it’s alright for them to do heart-sickening, cute-as-fuck coupley things like kissing one another crazy into the sunset or whatever. Because at the end of the day, no matter what, Jungkook can only look down to catch sight of the man that completes him whole. The man that makes them them, and makes them the perfect two.
“Baby me and you.”
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