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Lemuel and her crush, Fiammetta, walked together down an empty Lungmen road.
Under normal circumstances this road would be full of traffic. But, today was a special holiday. Everyone was home with friends and loved ones celebrating the end of the year. Everyone... except, of course, this unlucky pair.
What was meant to be a pleasant and restful "Penguin Logistics-and-friends-only light social" was quickly derailed when Lappland found her way in. Her presence, of course, set off a chain of increasingly improbable (and needlessly loud) events culminating in a rocket being set off indoors and Bison crashing through a window.
This wasn't what Lemuel had in mind, not at all. A few nights prior, Sora helped her set up a very cute, top secret plan for a confession, including an extra tasty char siu apple pie adorned with lovely little hearts. But that plan - and its pie - became collateral damage all the same.
Lemuel stared up at the moon and fidgeted with the end of her coat as she reflected on all the past week. Maybe, just maybe, the plan could've been saved if the pie had a firearm to protect itself... And maybe this confession will just have to wait until next year. She tumbled the zipper between her fingers as she mused.
That's how it will be... this year, she'll just help Fiammetta find her way home. Next year will be the real one. Just as she planned every year for the past three-or-so years.
Lemuel sunk into her own thoughts, welcoming the lump in her throat that always comes with them.
"Mmh, at least someone's enjoying their holiday," Fiammetta mumbled. Her voice roused Lemuel from her own mind and made the lump fade. A little jolt back to reality can do a lot for her, sometimes. That, or maybe Fiammetta's voice is just that soothing...
"Huh, you are, now?" A little bit of light returned to Lemuel's eyes. "But, wait, I thought you had a migraine--"
"No, not me... Those two," Fiammetta nodded toward a couple holding hands and walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the road. They were engrossed in each other and paying little attention to their surroundings - recklessly so, for a Lungmen night. "And, yes, the migraine is still... present."
The blunt 'no' from Fiammetta took the wind back out of Lemuel's sails. "I'm sorry," Lemuel sheepishly mumbled, "I didn't think the party'd be so... chaotic."
Fiammetta sighed and stretched before rubbing her temples, carefully concentrating on her next few words. "It's... it's not your fault, El. I know you were really looking forward to this... 'party', too."
The two continued for a while in silence, broken by the occasional muffled cheer or burst of laughter that escaped from behind nearby walls and windows. Its the kind of silence that Lemuel was used to. Plenty of sounds, plenty of happiness... but none of it her own. Its a silence not of sounds but of feelings. An emptiness. Its familiar... an easier one to deal with. And that, strangely, made her happier. At least loneliness is something she can face head-on, something she can predict.
Confessions, on the other hand... You can't put a bullet back once you fire it, nor can you take back words once they're heard. Once you fire words, someone can always fire back. Firefights are always unpredictable. Once you fire off the first few shots, you have no clue how the others will shoot back... Its always safer to never fire, never try. Hold your tongue, Lemuel. pick your battles. You don't want to lose Fifi.
She choked back a giggle as she remembered that name. The first time she used it on Fiammetta, her reaction was too funny... perhaps a little too harsh, but that's Fiammetta for you. Lemuel made up for it later, of course, with some baked goods and a chance to inspect Lemuel's favorite firearm.
Firearms and baked goods...
Lemuel looked back up to the moon, returning her fingers to the edge of her coat. Again, her mind-wandering took over. What would it mean for a pie to be armed, she wondered... could an armed pie confess for me?
As of this winter, Lemuel started wearing her coat as though it were a cape. She thought it looked cool, in spite of Fiammetta's insistence that it was impractical (and rather dorky). They both knew Fiammetta was right, but Lemuel insisted on it out of sheer stubbornness. Of course this coolness (dork-ness) came at the expense of shivering after only 10 minutes of 'wearing' her coat. Every time the shivering started, Fiammetta would need to speak up, bring Lemuel back to the real world, and remind her to not freeze to death.
But, she wouldn't this time... at least, not with the usual stern words. Instead, Fiammetta held her arm out in front of Lemuel to stop her. She then grabbed the zipper and firmly pulled it up over Lemuel's body. Of course, since it was her 'cape', her arms were not properly seated in the sleeves... which made Lemuel look up to Fiammetta with empty sleeves dangling beside her.
"Oh, no... now you've really made me look like a dork." Lemuel grumbled, but she couldn't help smiling as she wiggled her arms into her sleeves properly.
"Oh, so you've finally admitted it?" Fiammetta playfully nudged the Sankta's arm, now properly seated in the sleeve. "Dork."
"No fair!" Lemuel giggled and lightly punched Fiammetta's arm in return as the Liberi started walking.
The cold air did little to mask the blush that crept over her cheeks since Fiammetta got so close. It happened every time they touched while walking together, which always prompted Lemuel to walk a little faster to keep her face hidden. This time was no different, and Lemuel tridged forward to quickly get ahead of Fiammetta... failing to realize this is always the intersection where they part ways.
Fiammetta quickly reached out, grabbed the hood of her coat, and yanked her back to the sidewalk before she could get into the intersection. "Hold it, El."
"H-Hey, whoah--" Lemuel waved her arms as Fiammetta tugged on her. She fell backward into Fiammetta's arms as she steadied her.
"That's the intersection, El... That's for cars."
Lemuel blinked a few times. The blush from her cheeks quickly spread to cover her face. She knew she had to play this situation off, to keep looking cool for her crush. She needed to bring this situation back under control... She needed to return fire. She began to stammer, blurting out the first ones that came to mind. "B-But, Fia-- I'm a car."
Fiammetta stared blankly. "You are not a car, El."
Lemuel's own words slowly sunk into her mind. She brought her hands up to cover her face as the shock of the moment shifted to embarassment. All of her feelings began coming up and swirling in her chest. Regret, shame, loneliness... love.
Love that was stuck in her heart, yearning to come out free... and the pain of needing to hide it for another year. All of it, all at once. She did everything she could to hide her love from Fiammetta, to win her over, to look cool...
She did everything she could to stifle her tears for all this time and yet... now it was all crashing down. Fia would never love someone so dorky, she insisted to herself. Panic crept into her heart, dancing with the other feelings.
Get it together, Lemuel, get back to cover... she repeated in her own mind.
"El? Are you... hey..." Fiammetta helped steady Lemuel against her. "Are you... crying?"
Lemuel searched for anything to say... but nothing came. She stood still, leaning into Fiammetta for a few moments before deciding that the only thing she could do is own up to it. "Yes," she mumbled into her gloves. "I am crying."
"El..." Fiammetta sighed. This situation was not helping her migraine at all. She really needed to get home. "Is it about the pie?"
Lemuel hesitated. "I'm already over it... Croissant's hammer was no match for my crust..." Shortly after admitting that, she wondered if any pie could ever withstand a direct hit from Croissant. She cursed Lappland for using it as a shield... That had to be the seventh time tonight she cursed that wolf.
Fiammetta shook her head. "No, El... I think its something else. You already cried about that..."
The words hung in the air. Lemuel knew she couldn't hide behind this cover forever. She had to at least admit something. She braced herself, then spoke hesitantly. "It's because I have to say goodbye." It wasn't the full story, but it was all she could muster.
"About that, I have... something I need to say." Fiammetta closed her eyes to focus. "While we were at the party, I talked with your friend, Sora, for a bit. She... told me about your plan that you made together."
Lemuel froze in place. Fiammetta could feel her tense up in her arms, so she lifted her hand and began petting the back of Lemuel's head slowly.
"She told me this after the pie got caught up in that fight... She said that it was meant for me, it was meant as part of a confession. I thought it was funny, truly funny, because..." Fiammetta paused for a moment, gathering her own courage. "I, myself, made a pie for you. We had the same idea, El."
Lemuel jumped out of her arms, wide-eyed. "You... You thought of confessing to me with a pie, too!?"
Fiammetta opened her eyes again. "Well, yeah... Too be fair, though, mine was more... cinnamon-y, with less hearts. But, I thought we could come back to my place tonight... have a pie together. Alone, this time. I... didn't mean for this to be our goodbye--"
Lemuel threw her arms around Fiammetta, squeezing her as tightly as she could "YES! YES! Oh-my-god I... I've been trying so long to tell you, this and-and-and I LOVE YOU and--"
"Hey, El, quiet down..." Fia pointed to her temple.
"R-Right. Uhm. Yes, please. I'd love to come back to your place." Lemuel blinked out another tear. "I love you."
"Yeah..." Fiammetta took a deep sigh. "I love you."
"I love you too," Lemuel replied, before covering her face again.
Of course she'd say it twice, Fiammetta mused while holding her El. This dork's too cute.