Chapter Text
She let out a breath and she slid from the bed. The itch was scratched, and now she could leave this guy – Jeff? Or something… – and go home to enjoy her nice, warm bed. She shut the door to his apartment and whistled – her body completely sated – as she hailed a cab, telling the driver her address and looking out the window at the city go by.
Once at her own apartment, she pulled out her keys and walked in, jumping in surprise when she saw her best friend sitting on the couch, the TV off, and arms crossed. “Killian! What are you doing here?”
He turned around, and she noticed the frown in his eyebrows and the dark storms in his eyes. “You must have forgotten our plans to go out tonight?”
She sighed. “Sorry, I completely forgot about that.” She walked over and plopped onto the chair next to him. “Forgive me?” She batted her eyes and used her baby voice, trying to make him smile and laugh.
He just stood up, the anger still covering his face. “Whatever,” he muttered as he walked towards the door. “Bye, Swan.”
“Killian, I just missed one night out. We can do it another night – tomorrow – it’s not a big deal.”
“Let me guess, you went to a bar and picked up some guy – which I’m sure you don’t even remember the name, despite it only being 20 minutes later – and screwed him instead of coming out with me. Did I get it right?”
“Why are you being such an ass about this?” She stood up, finally angry herself. She didn’t need him to judge her. “Honestly, Killian. Why do you care so much about this? I’m sorry I missed hanging out but you have to admit – we see each other it ALL. THE. TIME. Missing one Friday night isn’t going to kill you.” She groaned in frustration. Just five minutes ago, she felt good. Now, it was as if all the stress she had just released was back full force.
“Whatever,” he said, again, turning away from her.
He reached for the door, but she blocked him before he got a chance to open it. “Stop saying that!”
“What else do you want me to say?” Killian asked. “There’s nothing else to say?”
“Why are you so mad at me? Over something as stupid as a one night stand?” She replied, barely raising her voice because it was 2:00 in the morning and she did have sleeping neighbors.
“Because I don’t understand why on earth you’d just have another one night stand!” he hissed back.
She was taken aback by his words. “What the hell does that mean? As long as you’ve known me you know I don’t do relationships.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be chastised because of my lifestyle.”
“I’m not chastising you!”
“Then what are you mad about?”
“Why don’t you want to be with me?”
He stilled at his words, and she focused on his face. He looked like he was in trouble, like he just told her something he shouldn’t have. “What?”
“It’s late, I’m tired.” He moved towards the door again, but with less effort than before. “Can you please move?”
“I don’t understand…”
Killian let out a breath, stepping back from her, scratching his head and barely looking at her. “You go out and have these one night stands with random men you’ll never see again, and I don’t understand why you don’t want to be with me.”
She shook her head. “We’re friends. Friends don’t have sex – it would be weird.”
“I don’t mean a one night… I don’t want to just have sex with you. I want to be more than that.” Slowly, he raised his eyes. “Why don’t you want to be with me?”
She was quiet, trying to hush the millions of thoughts that went through her mind. What was she supposed to say? Sure, she’s thought about it, about what it would be like to be with him. She’d even thought about how great it would be if they were together.
But one-night stands were good. She might not be in total sync with a stranger, but at least feelings never get hurt. She goes in knowing that it will be nothing more than a physical release, and after everything she’s been through in her 28 years, the last thing she needs is to be hurt.
“You’d break my heart.”
“I think I’ve proven in the past I’d never leave you.”
She knew it was her turn to talk, that she was supposed to be the next person to say something. But instead, she was silent.
He took that as a rejection, and maybe it was. “Sleep well, Swan.” He snaked his way around her, shutting the door quietly and leaving her alone in her small apartment.
Her chest hurt, and she wanted to cry. And all she could think about was that this is why she can’t be in a relationship with Killian, why she refused to do anything more than one-night with a random guy.
One-night stands don’t make her feel like this.