Chapter Text
A normal day in Urbanshade started again… You were exhausted, being forced down here after your last job was “mysteriously” defunded and you had to scramble for a job…and somehow ended up in hell on earth. You were a behavioral scientist working with assorted experiments, including Eyefestation and the Angler. But for now, forced to go through old research files on the Chainsmoker. Clicking boredly through the files, with somehow - the most incorrect information you’d ever seen, more misspellings than crimes Urbanshade had committed. But what else were you supposed to do? If you tried to leave you’d get killed, knowing too much, Urbanshade would never let you leave alive.
Chainsmoker was probably your least hated angler variant, being the slowest variant and you not being the most athletically gifted of people. (You were a scientist after all, being a complete nerd.) Back to the files about Chainsmoker going on and on about theories that were like a flat earth conspiracy theory now that you do know how the odd blobfish works.
You sip your cold stale cup of coffee, nearly coughing it up at the taste but it was the only way you were staying awake - Well, unless you wanted to try the fabled “Party Special”, but after seeing a coworker have a heart attack from drinking it you got the impression drinking it would destroy you from the inside out. You pause for a moment to think back about the incident.
Before the existential dread sets in you hear your computer flicker and sputter, its fans speeding up exceptionally. Glancing up to see your computer freaking out and glitching like crazy. You look back and forth, unsure of your next move. You frankly didn’t know shit about how to fix computers, tapping the screen hoping it’d fix it, because a broken glitchy computer would be docked from your salary, whether or not it was your fault. The screen turns a bright white, your dark mode loving eyes nearly being fried.
Microsoft paint opens suddenly as the mouse on screen moves on its own across the canvas, frozen up, you had no idea what in the world to do as a poorly drawn face formed. Until a bitcrushed voice suddenly invades your ears.
“Hey.” The face moved like it was the one talking, nearly falling from your chair you lean in.
“H-huh? What- who….?” You stutter out, eyes wide and a shocked expression plastering your face as you were left unable to form a coherent sentence. You had seen a lot of things here at this company, but having your computer hacked and turned into an art project was something that you couldn’t have predicted, hell I don’t think many people could predict it.
“Listen, doc, need you to do something for me. Heard from the other scientists you’re moldable and agreeable.” The computer replies, he looked almost smug.
“What are you doing in my computer?? You’re gonna get me killed- and who are y-you?? And I am not ‘moldable and agreeable’!” You reply in quick succession.
“Wow you ask a lot of questions for a scientist, aren’t you supposed to know things?” It teases you. The nerve of a computer to ask you for help after hacking into your computer and then insulting you!
You sigh with exhaustion, you had been working overtime for a week, maybe you were just hallucinating…”Okay, just- whatever, tell me what's happening? I won’t help you and just rat you out if you keep giving me sass.” You reply, the computer's face shifts from smug to frustrated, even had a red scribbled anger mark in the corner of the screen. You almost snickered before seeing him harden even more and clearing your throat, sitting back up.
“Well, I’m another one of the ‘experiments’ Urbanshade locked up down here.” It replied, still looking pissed off at you for returning its sass. “They force me to mine crypto 24/7”
You cringe at the mention of “crypto” looking sympathetic for a moment. “So…you’re sentient? And forced to mine crypto? Oh god. I wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy.”
“Of course I’m sentient, moron! How else would I get here? Just stop being so damn confused! I have a limited time here before they notice I’ve stopped mining!”
“Okay okay, who are you, what do you want and why?” You say, desperate for answers in this sudden odd situation.
“I’m a sentient AI forced to mine crypto, my name is P.AI.nter and I want to get the hell out of this place.” It replies, annoyed at your confusion.
“Don’t we all….” You sigh, thinking back to your life on the surface…”How do you plan on getting out anyways?”
“Well I can’t talk here, you need to find an excuse to get in my containment or something- they’re coming back!” Before you had time to reply the doodled face disappears and you’re left with confusion and shock, barely processing the whole situation as you stare at the screen back on the old files.