Chapter Text
Ever since I was a child, I grew up with the increasing numbers of camera flashes directed at my own. Paparazzis endless questions. The nonstop staring of everyone upon seeing me getting outnumbered by reporters when I'm with Dad. I'm used to it, the feeling—oppressive, suffocating, tiring.
Seated on a chair behind the desk of the table placed by the window and a book on my one hand while my back pressed comfortably on the chair. I flipped the page onto the next one and immersed myself into the world of inks. With the quiet and calming sound of the breeze, coming from the opened window and juggle of the crystals of the weaved dream catcher hanging by. Spending my weekend afternoon just like any other day.
"Lori!" My quiet afternoon was interrupted by the sudden intrusion outside my dorm room. Even with my door locked and walls intact, I can still clearly hear her voice. "We're going to the mall, wanna come?"
Putting the book on my desk, leaving it face down. I stood up from the chair and shouted back at her, "Alright, just gimme a minute!"
I started to change into a bit more modest clothes to go out when I heard an 'okay' behind the door. I polished my face a bit and grabbed the purse hanging on the wall and opened the door, revealing my friend who's busy on her phone.
She looked up at me when I closed the door behind me, locking it. Patty, my friend here, smiled at me and immediately locked an arm with mine.
"Good aftie, Lori!" She greeted. "Ready ka na for our afternoon weekend shopping?"
"Yeah..." I answered, looking around."But I thought you said 'we' earlier? Nasaan na ang iba, nauna na sila?"
Smiling widely, she spoke again. "Nope, they're still here!" Pointing at her self. "My soul, bones and flesh will be coming with us today, Lori! Aren't you excited?" she giddily said and trutted on the quiet hallway of the building
The smile on my face faltered, an eye twitching. "Ah," I forced a laugh and shook my head. Was that a joke? Yep, it is.
Patty... is quite an eccentric girl, that was my conclusion based on my interaction with her for the past three months I've transferred here, Golden Sierra Academy, she likes to counter everything when she's in the mood or either when she's put under the bus with wits.
Sighing, I let the girl lead me to the Academy's Mall, yes, they've got their own town square and a mall. So now, no students need to get out and drive miles away just to buy something because the academy is providing it already. Upon arriving at the town, the place was bustling with girls of different ages, all in their casual clothes but still screams 'money, money, money'.
We looked around and bought something from every store we ventured, mainly Patty, who looked like she had some kind of wings with lots of paper bags she's carrying, I asked her to let me carry some but she refused. For dinner, we ate at one of the restaurants, filling our stomachs with painstakingly high-end dishes. My card is on the verge of crying.
On our way back to the dormitory building—or mostly known as Sierra La Villa, by the students. We walk at a slow pace, letting all those foods get digested and breathing the fresh air of the night.
Unlike the city, the air felt nice here—a bit colder but fresh, none with those head aching fumes from the vehicles, and puff of cigars all over the place, no disgusting smell of overdue trash at one side of the road, no random fire smokes from a building, or those vomits that reeks poisons, or even the scent of someone dying. Wait, what?
Tilting my head to the side at the sudden confusion that laced my mind. I slapped my forehead with my free hand that made Patty look at me with a raised eyebrow.
"You alright?"
"Yeah," I nodded, grimacing to myself as the pain suddenly appeared again. "Just a bit of a headache."
Patty sighed and nodded too. "Ako nga rin, eh. Sumakit yung ulo ko, nasobrahan yata ako sa kinain kong ice cream."
I snickered. "Or sa ginastos mong pera," pointing at the bags she's holding. "Everyone would get a headache from seeing the digits from all you've bought."
It made her laugh and jokingly bumped me with her shoulder. "So are yours, Lori. We may have different things to indulge our interests but the receipts we have are the same length." I snickered. That is true.
We ended up having a shoulder bumping contest, seeing who's gonna fall first on the ground but ended up in a draw after falling at the same time with our bottom meeting the concrete. We went to the lift and I pressed the numbers of the floors we were stopping, and said our good nights to each other when she finally reached hers.
"Se ya, Lori! Pakopya na lang me sa homework natin, ah!" She bid to me to which I immediately replied.
Raising an eyebrow while stopping a smirk. I said, "Well, good night to you too, Patty." Sarcasm seeping in each syllable. Funny, our good nights were never really good nights but instead an exchange of a piece of humor of each other.
'Make sure you'll make me copy your homework tomorrow.'
'Lemme borrow your new book tomorrow.'
'Pakopya na lang ako sa quiz bukas.'
Or, 'Review well for the both of us!'
Stepping out of the lift, I made my way back to my room, the hallways still as empty just before we left. At first ay hindi ako sanay na maglakad ng mag-isa sa napakatahimik na floor na to, I felt as if someone would just appear behind me and grab me by my neck to kill me, it went for a month until I overcame that some sort of a phobia for quiet hallways.
Unlocking the door of my room, I stepped in and removed my shoes, a fluent, "Good evening." Came past my lips and of course, just like every night, I stood at the doorway with a still body and a head in pain, with my hand still on the doorknob.
Really, Lorelei. Sino bang gino-good night mo? Sarili mong anino?
Letting down the new books I've bought on the side, I sat on the edge of the desk and looked around the entirety of my own space here in Sierra. A bed bunk with a study table on the lower part, the shelves I had transplanted on the wall at one side, a cabinet with my clothes, and the door of my own bathroom. In each piece of furniture I've got, I decorated it in what felt right and homey to me, to the point when sometimes I'll just lay a dismantled jigsaw puzzle at my desk and leave it for days. But somehow, even with the countless re-arrangement of all these things, even with the nice moments I've experienced since getting here in Sierra, reading my books here or somewhere in the academy, and bonding with Patty in weekends—something felt lacking, something or someone in my daily life is missing like a missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle amidst the familiar messy living room.
Unorganized yet it felt like home—felt complete.
"Loki, dinner na!"
"Loki, kapag hindi ka pa diyan lumabas. I'm going to dismantle the jigsaw puzzle on the coffee table. Right. Now."
"For the hundredth time, Loki. It's Lorelei."
"Loki."
"Loki," I said, gripping my hair, eyes at the carpeted floor. "Loki." I repeated.
I wonder who this Loki is? Their name felt so right and familiar to say that even after the worst day I've had, just saying their name is enough to put at ease. I wanted to know who that person is, along with people named Jamie and Al.
"Jamie, Al, Loki." I recited in quiet whispers in the dark room, only the lights from the other rooms across mine were serving as a light to my own flat.
Hugging my knees while my bottom is on the carpet. I stared at the door, remembering my days before Sierra, there's almost nothing I can remember apart from the hazy memories of my childhood and my days at St. Bartholomew, my previous school. I do remember that incident and leaving that place but what else? What happened next? Where did I go?
Hugging myself tighter, I rested my forehead on my knees. It feels like my father is hiding something from me, it felt like something happened to me—of course—to have my memories almost gone. But what is it exactly? His behavior didn't help at all if he wanted to keep me away from something or someone.
"Loki," I said, letting my tongue familiarize the name that suddenly popped in my head. "Jamie, Al," I continued, grasping my head when I felt a painful pang but I ignored it.
"Loki, Jamie, Al." I repeated despite the gnawing pain. I repeated the names again and again until the sound of glass breaking directed my head towards the door, breaking the cycle of names rolling out in my tongue.
There, my father's assistant stood frozen in her spot, hands hovering in the air that previously held the coffee mug splattered across the doorway. And not even an hour has passed, my father came running from the doorway, almost knocking the nurse who's about to get out and started to berate me about those names.
'Don't ever talk about those people again, Lorelei!'
'They're nobodies, you shouldn't mingle with them.'
Maybe... even because of a small part of me that still seeks for his validation I would have believed his words, complied with his words without questioning anything. But his erratic behavior that day made me curious about those people. Do I know them? Do they know why I am like this? Are we friends?
Just like the usual nights for the past months, I fell asleep thinking of the people who I may never meet again, people who I may or may not even know from the past yet still bring peace in my chaotic and incomplete mind.