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It's the long-awaited first day of winter. The day Scully promised Cassie they'd have a Mom and Cassie day, and watch a Christmas movie, and play in the snow, if there was some, and make cookies all day.
Cassie crawls under the covers with Scully for a snuggle as soon as she's up. It wakes Scully, but she doesn't mind much. This is Mom and Cassie day, after all.
“Good morning,” Scully whispers, pulling Cassie in closer for a cuddle.
“Good morning, Mom, also happy winter day. I fink it snowed.”
When they get up, Scully takes a peek out the window, and lifts Cassie up to see it too. There's about 2 fresh inches of snow, which has combined with the previous 4 that's stuck around from the week.
“Oh, we can definitely build something pretty cool in this,” she tells Cassie with a smile. “We need some breakfast first. I was thinking about making pancakes and scrambled eggs. Does that sound good?”
“Yes! I love pamcakes!!!”
While Scully has her coffee and makes breakfast, Cassie sips from a mug of warm water, because she loves to be included in things.
“We'll make cookies, we'll play in the snow. Is there anything else you want to do today? If we don't get to it today, we have all week, too.”
“Yeeeah. It's kind of Mom and Cassie week!”
Mulder took two weeks off over the summer to spend time with Cassie. Now, it was Scully's turn. She was more cautious with her vacation and sick days, so she waited until the end of the year.
“Um... Can we call Uncle Charlie?”
Scully smiles at the idea. They reconnected back in October, and Cassie has really taken to Charlie and his partner.
“We can give him a call, sure. If you think of anything else you want to do, just tell me. The world's your oyster.”
“Um... what's even that?”
✧
Scully gets three cookbooks out after breakfast. Then the standing mixer, then sugar and flour and eggs and butter.
“Can I please hold one egg? I won't even drop it, Mom.”
Scully knows she will drop it. But it's Mom and Cassie day. She can hold an egg, sure. “Go ahead. Pick one egg you like and take care of it.”
Cassie carefully chooses one and picks it out of the carton. “This one is so nice... I'll take care of it!”
Scully finds the first recipe in the book. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies—because Cassie doesn't like raisins, even if they're in a cookie. Cassie sits on the counter to watch Scully with this batch. She's happy with her egg.
Once there are two sheets of cookies in the oven, Scully moves on to the next recipe. “You can have this egg,” Cassie tells her, offering it out to Scully.
“Do you want to help with these cookies? They're peanut butter, and we'll put a kiss on each one.”
“Ooooh. Cos you love cookies?”
Scully shows her the bag of Hershey's Kisses. “These kisses. But I do love cookies.”
Scully opens the bag and gets out two bowls. “Do you want to help by opening all the kisses? You can open it, then put the wrapper in one bowl, and the chocolate in the other.”
She demonstrates for Cassie first, who nods. “I can do that, yes!”
This year has been a big one. Cassie learned so much. The joy of sharing, the tragedy of sharing, the joy of licking a spoon, and the joy of puppies, thanks to Charlie's friendly little dog. She's started asking more questions than Scully thought humanly possible for anyone to ask. She's grown four inches. And she's become the most thoughtful and helpful person Scully's ever known—only second, perhaps, to Melissa.
“These were my sister's favorite cookies,” Scully tells Cassie as the mixer works on the dough.
“Ooh. Well... She can't really eat one... ‘Cos... She's gone,” Cassie tells her.
“You're right, Bug.”
“Like... she died... So... No cookies, right?”
“Right... But we can think about her when we make them. I know she'd be so happy to see you try one,” Scully tells her. “She loved Christmas. We'd make cookies together every year. Even when we were grown ups.”
“Until she died.”
“Mhmm.” Scully isn't upset by Cassie's blunt words. She doesn't believe in sugarcoating difficult or uncomfortable topics for her daughter. It's normal for Cassie to be curious about her family, and Scully thinks the truth is the healthiest answer. Such topics are still difficult for someone so young to wrap her head around, but Scully loves her curiosity.
“Sometimes I feel sad when I do things that make me think of Melissa,” Scully tells Cassie when she turns off the mixer to start scooping the dough out. “That's called grief... It's a sad feeling people might have when someone dies. Sometimes the holidays make people sad because of grief. I feel grief for Melissa. And my Dad.”
Scully feels her voice suddenly catch in her throat. She exhales slowly. Cassie’s seen her cry. But now's not the time. It's Mom and Cassie day, for God's sake. “And—and some parts of Christmas makes me sad, because someone else I met around Christmas died.”
“She was also family?”
“Sort of,” Scully answers, managing a soft smile. With that out of the way, she can move on. “It's complicated, but I still feel grief.”
“Gwief,” Cassie repeats.
“That's right. You know, sometimes, even if someone feels grief, they feel happiness, too. Like when I think about Christmas with Melissa. Not because I'm happy she died, but because memories are comforting and nice. Memories can bring happiness.”
“So you feel happy and also some sad?”
“I do,” Scully confirms. “But I will say that I'm mostly happy, because I get to spend the whole week with my favorite little Bug.”
“That's me?” Cassie giggles.
“Of course, that's you!” Scully passes her the spoon to lick. “Stay here. I'm going to get the first cookies out of the oven. The oven is very hot, so I don't want you to get too close.”
“But I wanna—”
“I'll show you the cookies after the oven is closed,” Scully assures her.
“Oh, okay.” Cassie nods. “Good.”
The phone rings just when Scully opens the oven.
“I'll get it!” Cassie gasps, climbing carefully from the counter to the chair beside it, then to the floor. She dashes to the phone and picks it up from the cradle, then pushes the green button.
“Hiii, um who is this?”
“Hey, Cass, it's me,” Mulder says.
“Oh, hiii Dad! How are you?”
“I'm good! I was just calling to say hi and see how your morning is going.”
“It's good we are making cookies but it's hot soooo Mom is taking ‘em out!”
“I can't wait to try some.”
“Well they might all be eated ‘cos it's Mom and Cassie day so I will eat prolly free or four...”
“Three or four, huh? I bet there will be plenty left. Do you think you can save me one? I know Mom loves her cookies and might eat them all first, so you might have to sneak one.”
“Hmm... What kind?”
“Any kind. I love all cookies.”
“Hmm. Okay. I'll save you one, Dad.”
“Thanks, Cass. I'll see you later. Love ya.’
“I love ya, too!”
“Byyye.”
“Byyye, see ya, allikator!”
✧
Three hours later, all nine dozen cookies across five varieties are laid out to cool. While Scully finishes her lunch, Cassie sets out on her heist. She has to be very sneaky about this, so she walks on her tiptoes like Daphne and Velma. She grabs a single cookie from its cooling rack and puts it in the little pocket on the front of her shirt, then goes to her parents room. She hides the cookie under Dad's pillow for later.
“Cassie!” Scully calls from the kitchen. “Ready to play in the snow!?”
Cassie runs to the front door to get dressed, reaching for her boots first.
“Wait, Bug. Before we get all dressed: do you need to use the bathroom?”
Cassie thinks about it for a moment. “Hmm. Yeah. Good idea, Mom.”
Two minutes later, Cassie runs back to her, still working on pulling her pants up.
“Germs,” Scully reminds her.
Cassie sighs, but goes back to the bathroom to wash her hands. Another minute later, she returns, smiling once more.
Cassie starts with her boots, sloppily velcroing them on. But then Scully points out that she needs to put her snowpants on, so she takes the boots back off.
“It's toasty in here, but once we get outside, you won't feel too hot anymore,” Scully tells her.
Cassie tends to be fussy about temperature, or even wearing her coat. She doesn't like the scratchy sound it makes when she moves her arms. She cried over it a few times so far this winter. So, this waterproof coat is reserved for very rainy or snowy days, or playing in the snow. She has a second coat that doesn't make noise for days that don't have snow.
“Mom, I'm hot,” Cassie tells her once her gloves and hat are on.
“I know, Bug. I understand. We're almost ready to go outside.”
Cassie sighs, scratching at her itchy hat. “Hang on, I forgot your bangs,” Scully tells her, unpinning her bangs to protect her forehead before tugging the hat back down. “Less itchy?”
“Yes, fanks.”
Her scarf is next. It's one of Scully's that Cassie liked, because it was soft but still warm, so Scully let her have it. Finally, Scully helps her into her coat and zips her up.
Scully works quickly to dress, not wanting to give Cassie enough time to get sweaty and grumpy before they get outside. Soon enough, they're out the door.
Some of the other kids in the apartment have made a snowman on the front lawn. Cassie spends a while admiring it. Then she pulls Scully by the hand to a clear spot of snow. “Can we make a mama and baby angel pease?”
“I'd love to,” Scully giggles. She gets into the snow with Cassie and makes snow angels with her. One little one, one bigger one. The pair admire their work, even their own footprints running through it.
“It's perfect!” Cassie grins. “Good job, Mom and me!”
The snow isn't ideal for packing, but they make it work. Scully offers to help make a snowman, but Cassie has other ideas. A dino. Or a spider. Or a bird. Or Lucy.
Lucy is the name of the snowman-like creature created by Charlie and his partner. When Mulder and Scully and Cassie last visited him in Baltimore, the week after Thanksgiving, Charlie explained that their snow-creature’s name was Lucy, and she was modeled after a fossil called something that was way too long and tricky for Cassie to say. But Charlie seemed excited about Lucy, so she loves Lucy, too.
In the end, Scully and Cassie make a pile of snow and a few snowballs. Cassie eats some snow. Scully makes a recommendation to avoid eating more snow, since it might be yucky. Then they make more snowballs. Then some snow cookies. Cassie eats some more snow before Scully can stop her.
✧
There's a new message on the answering machine upon their return, and Cassie is thrilled to be the one to hit play on it.
“Hey guys, it's me,” Mulder says. “Just checking in. Uh, lots of cool stuff going on here. Really crazy stuff. You wouldn't believe it. Really fun. I guess you're outside or something, so I'll try you again later.”
“Do we call him back?” Cassie asks.
Scully shrugs. “If you want to. But I think he's just saying hi. He probably misses us.”
Scully makes them hot cocoa to warm up, and they spend a while brainstorming their next activity. She mentions needing to go out for a few final Christmas gifts, and Cassie loves the idea.
They end up at Target an hour later, Cassie in her not-noisy coat, holding Scully's coat as they walk around.
“Mom... Do you think I can get Dad some presents? ‘Cos we got you presents but it's a surprise.”
“Of course we can, Bug. You can pick out a few things for him and we'll put your name on it. What do you think he might like?”
“Hmm.... Not sure.” She shrugs.
While they shop around, Cassie has a few ideas. Usually, it's whatever they're right in front of. Scully lets her put a handful of things in the cart, as long as she explains her reasoning for it.
“Dad always uses this,” she tells Scully, pointing to a container of cream cheese. It's the only no, because cream cheese has to go in the fridge. But she agrees that getting Mulder a snack might be nice.
“Oh!!! Dad NEEDS these!” Cassie gasps, picking up a big bag of sunflower seeds.
“Dad likes monsters!” she says of a Monsters, Inc. coloring book.
“Dad's socks have holes, Mom, can we get him new ones?” she points at a package of socks that have cute cartoons on them.
“Aaalso...” Cassie smiles up at Scully, then points to the rack of ties nearby.
“We can definitely get him a tie. You can pick your favorite.”
“I should pick his favorite.... Hmm....” There's one tie that has constellations on it. Cassie knows that Mulder loves stars and outer space. “This one, Mom, look.”
“Oh, that's perfect, Cass! Good eye.”
✧
There's another message when they get home. Mulder again.
“Hi, it's me. Doggett and I are running through some interview tapes again. This case isn't going anywhere. Reyes is waiting on some lab results, though, so we'll see. How's everything there? What are you girls up to? Is it packing snow out, or too cold? I hope you're wearing gloves out there. I'm freezing. Skinner thinks the basement gets colder every winter. I might have to see if I can get maintenance down here. Or—you know, maybe I can check it out. I'll call you later.”
“Why did he call again?” Cassie asks Scully. “He already said hi earlier, remember??”
“I remember.” Scully laughs. “He gets a little bored sometimes.”
“Well.... He has a job.”
The sugar cookies are Cassie's absolute favorite. And they're still naked. Scully explains that they will decorate them, that's what she's mixing now. Icing. There's sprinkles, too. And tiny candies.
“What shape or cookie do you want to decorate first?” Scully asks Cassie. She has her in her arms so she can see all the sugar cookies on the spreads of parchment paper. “We have Christmas trees, gingerbread men, Santa, candy canes, snowflakes, and penguins.”
“Umm..” Cassie takes her time to look at all of the designs. They're all so cute. But she likes the penguin the best. “Penguin, please, Mom.”
They pair of them settle in at the kitchen table and get to work. Cassie's cookies are all a mess, as expected. But they're colorful and delightful, and she seems to have fun decorating them.
Cassie glances at Scully's snowflake, which is beautifully iced with blue, then outlined with white. “Wow! You are so good a decorator!”
“My doctor work has helped me learn how to be very careful with my hands. I think that helped me become good at cookie decorating,” Scully tells her.
“Oooh, wow. You're a cookie Doctor, too.”
The phone rings again, startling Cassie into smudging her cookie a little. But she heads to the phone again and picks it up as usual.
“Cassie, it's me,” Mulder says.
She sighs. “Dad... Sorry but you keep calling so stop please ‘cos it's Mom and Cassie day.”
Scully raises a brow. Sure, Cassie was a bit rude, but she's been starting to teach her the concept of boundaries. She was a quick learner, it seems. At least she said sorry and please.
“Oh... Right. I'm sorry,” Mulder sighs.
“It’s okay, Dad. I love you though. I got you Christmas Presents!” So much for it being a surprise.
“I love you, too, Cassie,” Mulder says, sighing. “Sorry for annoying you. I guess I’m pretty bored at work. It's not the same without Mom here.”
“Well... Doggie is there, so... Can you play with him maybe?”
“Yeah. I guess I could. Hey, did you manage to sneak a cookie for me before Mom eats them all?”
“Yes,” Cassie says, suddenly whispering. “But shhh. Mom is here.”
“I knew I could count on you. I'll see you a little later.”
“Okay!”
✧
Scully gets a text from Doggett shortly after 5:30, just as she and Cassie are sitting down for dinner. POI ID’d.
“You know how Dad was bored earlier?” Scully says to Cassie. “Something exciting happened. Him and Doggett will be at work a little longer.”
“Oh... Well... Okay. That's okay, Mom. He'll see us soon, still. Like before bed prolly.”
“Exactly. Did you still want to watch a Christmas movie? After dinner we can finally have a cookie or two and watch one.”
“Yeahhh. What movie?”
“There's a lot on TV all week. We'll find a good one.”
At 6:30pm, the girls settle in to watch Eloise at Christmastime. Cassie loves the little dog and turtle and Nanny. Scully loves the music and the spy gear.
“She is the FPI?” Cassie asks.
“She doesn't work with me and Dad, but you're right. She's like a detective. She's solving a mystery.”
There are times when Cassie gets bored, or wants to focus on eating another portion of a cookie, or just settle in Scully's arms for a snuggle. But by the end of the film, she's caught on to the fact the plot contains a love story.
“Wow... That's so love like you and Dad. Maybe they should go to... Um. The mooseum.”
The museum is obviously where all people go when they're in love, because that's how Mulder proposed to Scully.
By 8:15, Cassie has brushed her teeth and gotten into her pajamas with only a medium amount of help from Scully. Since Mulder isn't home yet, she lets Cassie settle into bed with her to cuddle during storytime. Cassie is so sleepy, that she doesn't have the heart to send her to her own bed.
“I love you, Bug,” Scully whispers, stroking her baby's hair.
“I love you, too... I love Mom and Cassie day.”
“Yeah? It was a good one?”
“Yes it was very good. You're the best Mom ever.”
“You're the best Bug ever. I'm so lucky to be your Mom, you know that?”
“Really?”
“So, sooo lucky,” she tells her, kissing her forehead.
“I'm so lucky to be your baby.”
Scully's chest aches as she lays with her daughter. A good ache. A common ache for Scully.
Cassie is asleep before long, and all Scully can bring herself to do is watch her. Safe and sound and warm and happy. A little annoyed at itchy hats. A little confused by Scully's complex feelings around the holidays. But always willing to learn something new, and always happy to be a listening ear. It was almost impressive to Scully. Cassie was better than she or Mulder could ever be.
✧
Mulder gets to bed at 11:30, giving Cassie the gentlest of shakes to see if she's awake. She's out. Snug as a bug. Mulder scoops her up and carries her to her own bed. He tucks her in, making sure her favorite plushie Fox is at her side where he belongs. Then he kisses her forehead and heads back to Scully.
When he settles into bed, he adjusts his pillow, quickly finding a cookie beneath his bed. He laughs.
“Hm?” Scully murmurs.
“I asked Cassie to save me a cookie.”
“There are almost a hundred in the kitchen.”
“I know, but I asked her to sneak me one. She did.” He bites into the cookie. Scully hears the crunch of it and smiles.
“I assumed she ate that one. I let it slide.”
“Scully, these are delicious. Our child is a prodigious pastry chef. Tell me you helped a little bit.”
When she doesn't laugh, Mulder sets the rest of the cookie on the nightstand and moves closer to Scully on the bed. “How was your day, excitement aside? Did you miss work?”
“I won't get restless for a week or so,” she reassures him.
“Did you miss me?”
“It was 14 hours.”
“Did you miss your sister?”
It lands like a ton of bricks on Scully's chest. The ache comes back. Real pain, this time. Where to even begin.
“Well. I taught Cassie the word grief,” she answers.
Mulder puts an arm over her waist. She takes it as an invitation to settle into his arms. Before she knows it, she's crying.
“It was still a good day,” she tells him, “that's why it's so hard... And then we watched this movie, and a mother loses her child but forgets she ever lost him and—and Mulder, my first thought wasn't someone I've lost. It was losing Cassie. I couldn't survive that. I couldn't.”
“Do you think this is a Christmas thing? Or something you want to bring to your therapist?” He whispers.
Scully sniffles. Like all parents, she has anxieties. But never like this. Never enough to make lose her appetite for sweets. “Christmas thing... Time off to think thing.”
Mulder hums. “It makes sense that cookie-baking day would be difficult.”
“You say that like you already had that figured out.”
“Why do you think I called so many times to check in?”