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Her scarred hands gripped the side of her nightstand extra tight.
It was a full moon. The worst kind of moon Lauma could ever bear—her aching antlers just another reminder of the thankless responsibility she holds as the Moonchanter of the Frostmoon Scions. She couldn't blame it on anyone but herself that she's in this pain, after all, she chose to sleep in her residence instead of finding a place away from the presence of Kuuvahki.
Lauma's head spins. There weren't any pills left beside the lamp tonight, there hasn't been in months. Lauma could do nothing but cover her sensitive antlers in a cloth that barely suppresses the Kuuvahki energy in the air. Aino wasn't known for her seamstress skills after all—but if it meant helping a friend going through unimaginable pain for regular humans… She'd help the best she could.
Maybe that's why Lauma appreciated her so much. The young prodigy herself dropping everything to help a friend, even if she understood nothing about Moonchanter blood.
She couldn't say the same about someone else she knew, but tonight was no place to dwell on that topic. The moon was already high up in the sky—and based off of past experiences, Lauma knew this wasn't the last night she'd have to deal with this. This was just one of many to come.
…
"Boss, boss!" Jahoda's excited voice rang throughout the Curatorium of Secrets, rushing through the reception to get to Nefer. She clutched a bag of Mora in her hand, clearly hastily tied up by the end to make sure none fell out. "Y'know how you made me return the artifact to Miss Dori? So the traveler was there too, and–"
"Yeah, yeah. She's owed me money for a while now. Just place it on my desk."
"I don't know, boss, it's a lot of money…!" Jahoda smiled, before quickly switching her attention to the window behind the chair Nefer was sitting on. "Woah… It's a full moon out tonight."
"Is it?" Nefer looked out to the sky. A full moon with no clouds obstructing it, the moonlight spreading throughout Nasha Town enough to see in the dark. The moon looked far too beautiful to share it alone, yet there Nefer was, papers scattered across her desk as Jahoda was getting ready to pack her things.
"Well, I guess I gotta clock out now, boss." Jahoda yawned, stretching her arms out high and grabbing her backpack. It was nearly midnight at this point, and it wasn't like Jahoda got paid by the hour. "See ya tomorrow, Boss Nef!"
It was nothing but the moon and Nefer now.
The moon.
…oh fuck, the moon.
"Jahoda!" Nefer shouted, louder than she expected herself to be. It sounded almost as if she was desperate, her words (and her rapid breaths) sounding as frantic as she was distressed. In fact, Jahoda nearly jumped out of her skin, either from the abrupt shouting in the quiet or the sheer bewilderment at seeing Nefer sound so unlike herself.
"Y-yes..?!" Jahoda hastily turned her head, her eyes wide open as she anticipated the demand that Nefer was about to make of her. "W-what do you need, boss?"
"…The medicine. The ones that suppress Kuuvahki. Do we still have some?" Nefer's eyes avoided looking at her subordinate. It was almost as if she felt guilty for asking—like it was an unreasonable demand, or moreso an embarrassing one. It was so unlike herself to hesitate asking Jahoda for anything, but this felt like the correct moment to do just that.
"Huh? I don't think we've had a shipment of those in a while… we do usually order it at this time of year, but, y'know…" Jahoda put her bags back down. Despite everything Nefer called her, she wasn't dumb enough to not go and look around the Curatorium to see if they kept any backed up. "How come? Did a client ask for some?"
"…It's nothing, Jahoda." Nefer left her chair to look around their storage as well. "Just help me look for some. If there aren't, then…"
Nefer never finished her sentence.
"Found it!" Jahoda excitedly perked up, holding a half-empty box with enough vials in it to last a week of high Kuuvahki exposure. "Looks like we didn't use everything up from a few months ago, boss! Jahoda's streak of luck extends one more day!"
Nefer couldn't help but smile at her cheerfulness despite her asking so much of her. At least, at this time of day, someone was still there for Nefer despite everything.
"Do you need me to make a delivery, or something, boss? Should I give it to—"
"No, no… That won't be needed, Jahoda. I'll deliver it myself." Nefer quickly switched the subject. She'd rather avoid the topic if possible, considering how she already made it obvious with what she asked of her. She could only hope that Jahoda was enough of an airhead to not tell what it was for, but it was clear she could connect the dots already. That was always who Jahoda was—smart and cunning, but foolish enough for Nefer to make fun of her. "Clock out, Jahoda. Thanks for your help."
"Oh, okay. Thanks, Boss Nef…?" Jahoda scratched the back of her head. Nefer was acting weird again, but it's almost always whenever the topic of Lauma comes up. "See you!"
Nefer waited until Jahoda wouldn't be able to see her before closing up the Curatorium. She only had one place in her mind to go after closing up shop—and it certainly wasn't her household, or moreso, her current household.
…
The trek to Hiisi Island was short. Nefer's done it a million times—her movements practiced, silent and in the shadows to make sure no one could see. Their relationship was never public, after all, but certainly an open secret to everyone around them.
Stepping on the stone tiles leading up to the Frostmoon Enclave felt suffocating. Every step on the cobblestone felt like she'd collapse. It was the hazy feeling in the air that got to her first, whether it was from the Kuuvahki in the air or her nausea wasn't important at this moment.
The only thing that mattered was getting to her destination.
"…A knock on the door?" Lauma struggled to get on her feet. She wasn't able to get back to her bed after retrieving the Kuuvahki suppressing cloth in her living room. "Who's there?"
"…Open." The voice coming from across the wooden door rang into Lauma's ears like it was the only thing she could hear. A voice ridden with anger, regret, and longing. It was the same voice that she heard at the back of her mind at the end of every day—the same voice she used to call home. "Let me in, Lauma."
The hinge of the door flipped open. Nefer's eyes couldn't meet hers—but Lauma's body did.
"Lauma—…!" The Moonchanter's body fell on top of hers. She was clearly running a fever, her flushed expression and closed eyes just another sign of how she was holding up. The cloth had fallen to the ground by now, but that didn't matter to Nefer. All that mattered was to get her inside, and to treat her sickness.
Nefer laid Lauma's body on her bed. It was surprising that she had stayed conscious for long enough to see Nefer at her door, considering how high the Kuuvahki levels in the area were, let alone how close she was to the moon at this time. Lauma of all people should know that being on the surface during a time like this was a terrible idea, especially when she didn't have her medicine.
"…It's not like you to pass out in my arms like this." Nefer sighed, placing the box of medicine on her nightstand. She couldn't help but feel comfortable beside such a familiar person—but she knew she overstepped a boundary long before she even knocked on her door. Staring at the half-empty box of leftover medicine put it into perspective how dependent Lauma became on her. The medicine would've only last about a week, and that's assuming Lauma wouldn't double dip on the drug depending on the pain. "I should have Jahoda more once I get back… I'll just send it to your door."
Nefer took a handkerchief and gently wiped her antlers. She was the only person in the world who knew how to handle Lauma's antlers painlessly, any others would've woken her up by now. Instead, Lauma kept that serene, almost calm expression on her face. If only Nefer got to see that sight everyday.
The tiny droplets of medicine landed on Lauma's antlers, and dripped down to her roots. Nefer could tell by the glow that it was beginning to suppress the Kuuvahki inside of her—but she knew that she'd have to apply far much more to let Lauma sleep a comfortable night.
There Nefer was. Spending her midnight in a dark room applying droplets of medicine to her ex-lovers antlers, presumably without her knowledge.
An hour passes. Nefer stays awake.
"What's with the incense…?" Lauma said, her voice hoarse from waking up. She didn't need to open her eyes to know who was beside her. The feeling in the air was enough—the presence pushing on her mattress was enough.
"Don't question it," Nefer looked over at Lauma, her hand backing away from being at all in a close proximity to Lauma's. The tension in the air was expected, but the calmness wasn't. "It'll make you feel better."
"Is that something you learned from your hometown?" Lauma asked, finally opening her eyes to meet Nefer's. The latters eyes immediately pulling away the moment she realized that she had opened them. Nefer was still afraid of looking her in the eyes, it seemed, and Lauma wasn't going to let her get away with that.
"…Yes. Along with how to handle your antlers, and my business." Nefer felt Lauma's gaze piercing through her skin despite how hard she tried to turn away from it. She had to look, at least once, cause what else could tell her whether Lauma still needed her help or not? "I had leftover medicine for the Kuuvahki in the air. I was just going to deliver it to you but it seemed I needed to apply it on you as well."
Nefer's scoff immediately after her comment felt so familiar to Lauma that she couldn't help but smile.
"How come? I can survive on my own without your medicine." Lauma clearly wasn't taking this situation seriously. Her cheerfulness was always contagious—and Nefer hated how much it affected her too.
"Clearly not, Lauma. You passed out in my arms."
"Did I?"
"Don't act stupid." Nefer hesitated, her gaze staying away from Lauma's. The tension in the air was non-existent to Lauma, but to Nefer, it felt suffocating.
"You still didn't need to give me the medicine."
"…It's a gift, Lauma, just take it." Nefer felt her self control slipping. The exhaustion from the day was catching up to her, and it didn't help that she'd been forcing herself to seem kinder to Lauma in a desperate attempt for forgiveness. "Please."
"It's not a very… festive one, is it?" Lauma smiled, as if there wasn't anything the slightest bit wrong. "I'll take this as my gift for the holidays then, I suppose."
"I— Don't make jokes at a time like this, Lauma."
"Why? Do we no longer know each other?" Lauma's smile dropped. There was no avoiding this conversation, after all, despite how much Lauma wanted to act as if things were normal.
"…of course we do. It's just—"
"It's just what, Nefer?"
"Are you not going to address the elephant in the room?" Nefer's voice raised. There was a sense of urgency in her voice. I need to leave. This isn't where I'm supposed to be. At least to Nefer, avoiding the confrontation was better than waiting until she (inevitably) snapped at her, especially when she already considered their bridge burnt.
"Which is?" Lauma wasn't going to let Nefer leave without a conversation. It's been long overdue—their frustrations with each other, or moreso, Nefer's frustrations with Lauma had been an overlooked topic for the entire duration of their relationship.
If this was the last time Lauma ever talked to Nefer, so be it.
Even if the last time she tried broke a piece of her heart that she'll never get back.
"…We aren't together, obviously. I shouldn't even be here, let alone helping you with your sickness." Nefer's voice was by far the shakiest Lauma has ever heard it been. The normally stoic and repressed Nefer was nervous, the tap of her fingers on the mattress increasing in speed the longer she partook in this conversation. "I shouldn't—"
"You shouldn't stay? Why? Did I kick you out?" Lauma pressed her further. It was one of the rare moments where Nefer shared her weaknesses with the woman, much less without her consent. "What point are you trying to make, Nefer? I don't hate you."
"Lauma, stop acting like this." Nefer's gaze was stuck to the floor, her voice even quieter than before. "You're supposed to hate me. I'm surprised you don't."
"What?"
"You can't seriously keep pretending I'm a good partner, Lauma." Nefer turned to face Lauma, the tears in her eyes slowly falling as she tried her hardest to keep up appearances. "You're too kind. You're a good person, I'm—"
"Don't say that, Nefer." Lauma sat up, sitting next to Nefer and holding her hand, despite how much Nefer disliked it. "There's nothing wrong with who you are. Why else do you think I like you?"
"Just stop, Lauma," Nefer couldn't maintain eye contact without bursting into tears. She's hasn't cried in years—she was never supposed to, but why now, of all times, is she on the verge of sobbing? "I'm not–"
"Is this about your father?" Lauma's hand gripped Nefer's tighter. Nefer didn't push her away.
"Don't mention him." Nefer wiped the tears off of her eyes to look back at Lauma. There she was—the only constant in Nefer's life. "You already know enough from our time in the chess set. You already know my thoughts on him."
"I won't get myself killed just for being kind, Nefer… Is that what you're insecure about?" Lauma asked. There was no desire in her voice to provoke Nefer and to force her to open up anymore, she was just Lauma now. The same Lauma that was too kind for her own good—but maybe that's why she loves her so much. "I don't think of you differently because of the methods you use to attain your goals. Even if I don't approve of what you do."
"…Don't compare yourself to an information broker. I made you and Jahoda practically beg me to help you with Rerir." Nefer's eyes dropped back to the floor, almost like she was looking back at her past memories. "Poor girl told me to take it out of her salary."
"Nefer…"
"I was going to help you either way," Nefer confessed, "I'm just a piece of work,"
"Nefer… Don't say that." Lauma frowned, taking Nefer into her arms and letting her rest her head against her chest. Nefer would've sobbed—but she had no more tears left to cry. "Be quiet. I'm here. I don't hate you."
Nefer didn't say a word. Maybe, just this once, things could get better.
"…Thank you for the gift, Nefer. Both the medicine and the conversation we had." Lauma ran her hands through the roots of Nefer's hair, massaging away all of the tension and stress that she went through this past hour. "It's been a long time since we last chatted like that, hm?"
"I missed you too, Lauma."