Work Text:
Christmas was most people’s favorite time of the year.
Presents, decorations, food, and family; there was something for everyone, a reason for everyone to enjoy the end of the year.
For Kyungmin, Christmas meant getting a break from work. A break long enough that he could go home, see his brothers and parents, catch up with relatives, and experience holidays with the people he only saw in between schedules and long practices.
All of the members felt the same; being an idol meant it was hard to fit time in to see family and friends, especially during the end of the year when there were dozens of award shows and festivals to attend, each one having different dance breaks and performances.
So once December hit, the members spent their days talking with their managers and calling family, making plans to head home and be with one another.
Everyone was brimming with excitement, ready to reconnect with loved ones and taste their favorite home-cooked meals.
When Kyungmin received a call from his mom, he was especially ecstatic, knowing that he would finally begin making his holiday plans.
“Kyungminnie?” His mother asked, voice sweet like always.
“Hi Eomma, how have you guys been?” Kyungmin asked cheerily, practically bouncing out of his seat.
“We’ve been good, everything has been well. I hope you’re doing well, too. Have you been taking the supplements I gave you?”
The boy shivered at the mention of those supplements. They were good for his health, but tasted horrible. He tried his best to take them, but usually ended up giving them to Hanjin, who was better at stomaching herbal medicine.
“Yeah, I have. I’ve also been giving them to Hanjinie hyung when he’s not feeling his best,” Kyungmin half-lied, not wanting his mom to think her efforts were wasted.
“Well, that's good. I wanted to call so we could talk about our plans for the holidays”, Kyungmin perked up. “We’re going abroad for the holidays! We won’t be gone too long, just five days. We thought it would be nice to experience Christmas in America. What do you think?”
“Oh… how many days?”
“Just five, honey. You’ll be able to come, won’t you?”
Kyungmin felt his heart drop to his stomach, “We get a three-day break for the holidays, and we can’t work around it, so… I don’t think I’d be able to go…”
It was quiet on the other end for a moment before Kyungmin’s mom spoke again, “Oh- that’s fine, Kyungminnie. We could always cancel it and replan it for later. Don’t worry-”
“No eomma, don’t cancel your plans. It’s okay, we can always see each other later. I don’t want you changing your plans just because I can’t go.”
“But you’re my son, I want you to be here as well, especially when you deserve it after working so hard this year,” Kyungmin's mom spoke, worry in her tone.
“I’ll be fine, I’m 18, I can handle it. I’ll have some free days in January so we can all spend time together then, does that work?”
“I guess it does… But don’t hesitate to tell me if you change your mind, okay? I’ll cancel our plans if you want me to, just because you’re an adult now doesn’t change the fact that you’re still my son.”
Kyungmin smiled, “Okay eomma, I’ll let you know if anything changes. Take care, okay? And send me photos of you guys in America!?”
“Okay, sweetie, I will. Stay healthy. I love you, bye!”, his mom spoke before hanging up.
Kyungmin shakily inhaled, eyes glassy as he stared at his phone.
That certainly wasn’t what he wanted to hear. But he didn’t want to ruin his family's plans. He knows his schedule sucks because of work, and that’s not his family's fault. He’d be fine, it’s just one Christmas after all.
Kyungmin looked up to see Dohoon walking into the kitchen, grabbing a banana as he went.
“Did you finally make your plans for our break?”
Kyungmin forcefully smiled, “Yup, sure did, hyung!”
-
Everyone was packing up for the break, excitedly leaving one by one.
Kyungmin was sitting in the living room as he watched his members depart to see their families.
“Oh? You haven’t left yet Kyungmin-ah?” Youngjae asked as he walked to the door.
“Not yet, I’m leaving later. Safe trip, hyung!”
Youngjae smiled before sliding his shoes on and leaving.
After he heard the door click, he was alone.
The other five had left, and Kyungmin was officially by himself for the holidays.
He sighed, laying his head on the back of the couch as he stared at the ceiling.
It was quiet. Usually, that would excite him; the idea of having the house all to himself was a dream come true after spending every day with a roommate. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Hanjin, he just sometimes gets sick of never having any alone time.
But right now, when everyone but himself was surrounded by others, he wishes it weren’t so silent.
-
Kyungmin spent his Christmas eve organizing his room and getting some schoolwork done, deciding to get some stuff done since there was nothing else to do.
He contemplated going to the company for some individual practice but decided against it; fans would be waiting outside the building to record him as he left, and then everyone would know how alone he is.
He went to bed early, falling into an unrestful sleep as he clung to his blanket with both hands.
Waking up on Christmas day, Kyungmin rubbed his eyes before getting out of bed.
He stretched as he entered the living room, his eyes reaching the veranda, which gave a perfect view of the falling snow beyond the apartment.
He sped up, walking over to the glass door as he pressed his face up against it, looking at the beautiful snow in awe.
The sight was gorgeous, white covering the city in front of him.
He watched the sight, and as amazing as it was to look at, he felt his eyes water the longer he stared.
He knew that today was just like any other day, and there wasn’t any reason to feel sad. Just because people celebrated a holiday today didn’t mean that it wasn’t an average day.
But today, the young boy felt alone. So, he continued to watch the snowy sight in front of him and let the tears fall from his eyes and stain his cheeks.
He felt his phone buzz, probably messages from his members talking about how much fun they were having with their families. He put the device on silent and walked over to the couch, sitting down as his tears became soft sobs.
Kyungmin wasn’t normally like this. He had moved away from his parents at a young age to pursue his dream, spending hours training in Seoul since he was 12.
He didn’t have time to cry when he missed his parents. He couldn’t call them and asked to be picked up like it was some sleepover. It was the path he chose, afterall. So he got used to it and grew up.
He understood from a young age that his job required sacrifices. He never complained or let it hinder his work.
But that didn’t mean he liked it. That didn’t change the fact that he was a newly turned 18-year-old who still sometimes got scared when he heard a sound in a dark room and didn’t quite understand how taxes worked.
He’s still a teenager, and it’s only natural that a teenager would want to be with their family for the holidays.
So he cried. He cried, and he sobbed in the empty house until he wore himself out, falling asleep curled up, his tears not ceasing.
-
Kyungmin was woken up an hour later, eyes red and cheeks painted in dry tears. As he awoke, tears welled up in his eyes again, still not okay with his current situation.
After adjusting to the miserable state he was in, the boy realized what had woken him up.
The sound of the front door closing could be heard from the living room, and for a moment, Kyungmin thought he was about to get robbed.
“Did we forget to turn the lights off?” he heard Youngjae ask, and Kyungmin’s heart calmed, before speeding back up at the thought of getting caught.
“I didn’t, that's for sure”, he heard Dohoon’s voice as two pairs of footsteps slowly moved closer.
Kyungmin looked around, searching for somewhere to hide or for some lousy excuse to give.
Before he could come up with some sort of plan, he heard Youngjae’s voice behind him.
“Kyungmin?” Youngjae’s voice was full of confusion and already laced with the beginnings of concern.
Knowing there was no way to get out of this, Kyungmin turned around. He knew he must have looked like a wreck, as the two older boys stared at him wide-eyed before rushing over.
“Kyungmin, what happened? Why are you here all alone?” Youngjae questioned, looking Kyungmin over as if he were checking for injuries.
Dohoon didn’t say anything, but anyone could tell he was equally concerned, hands hovering over the youngest as if he were scared he would break him.
The warmth of his two friends overwhelmed Kyungmin, tears falling from his face as soon as the attention was on him.
He used his hands to cover his eyes, one last-ditch effort to pretend he wasn’t crying.
“What are you guys do-doing here?” Kyungmin asked through quiet sobs.
“We wanted to pick a few things up from the dorm, so we texted it in the group chat. The other members were gonna stop by real quick too, we assumed you were too busy to respond- what happened, Kyungmin?” Dohoon spoke a mile a minute as he used his own hand to bring Kyungmin’s away from his face.
“Oh- I- um- My plans didn’t work with my family this year”, he replied, his heart breaking as he was reminded of his situation.
The two older boys gasped at the same time, quickly taking in the situation.
Youngjae immediately went in to hug him, attempting to soothe the poor boy as he lovingly caressed his hair.
Kyungmin leaned into the touch, enjoying the first semblance of warmth on this cold day.
“Why didn’t you tell us, Kyungminnie? You know we’d drop anything for you”, Youngjae spoke softly, voice as delicate as his touch.
Kyungmin didn’t respond; everyone in the room already knew the answer.
Kyungmin fit his title of “maknae” in many ways. He was cute, accepted affection easily, and allowed his hyungs to baby and tease him to their heart's content.
But if there was one thing he was bad at, it was not feeling like a bother.
Perhaps it was because he was the oldest at home, always taking care of his two younger brothers. He wasn’t quite sure how to tell when he could go to his hyungs with problems, often assuming it was something he could solve himself, even if he couldn’t.
So the room remained quiet, except for the soft crying of Kyungmin.
Dohoon and Youngjae sat and supported Kyungmin, not forcing solutions down his throat or begging for answers, but just being a stable presence for the young boy beside them.
Minutes later, the trio heard the sounds of the door opening again, three loud voices entering.
The three were joking about something, Kyungmin not having the willpower to make out the entire conversation.
He could tell Shinyu and Jihoon were teasing each other, with Hanjin laughing loudly at the situation.
“Oh, you guys are already here?” Shinyu asked, not having gauged the current situation.
Kyungmin assumes that he noticed a problem when Dohoon and Youngjae turned to face the oldest, their faces likely laced with worry.
Shinyu rushed over to the couch, staring at Dohoon and Youngjae as if they somehow caused a problem.
“What did you guys do?” Shinyu looked over Kyungmin in the same way Dohoon did, acting like a worried mother.
Jihoon and Hanjin stood behind him, faces empathetic without even knowing what happened.
“Huh? We didn’t do anything-”
Youngjae quickly interrupted Dohoon’s outburst. “Kyungmin was home alone because his plans didn’t work out. He’s been here by himself since yesterday”.
Shinyu’s mouth opened in surprise, worry quickly pouring into his heart.
Shinyu crouched down and put Kyungmin’s hands in his own. “Kyungmin-ah, why didn’t you say anything?” His words weren’t scolding, instead full of affection and care.
Kyungmin sniffled, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
The five older boys stared at Kyungmin blankly, not buying it, as his face was blotched with tears and he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday.
“Kyungmin, you know you can talk to us about these kinds of things. You’re equally as important as our family.”
The youngest’s heart clenched at the words, feeling warm but still struggling to accept such unconditional love.
He knows that his family wanted him to come; they had even wanted to completely cancel their trip for him.
They sent him pictures and checked on him throughout their whole visit.
They wanted him there, they really did.
But that didn’t change the fact that he felt abandoned, his brain telling him there was a reason why he was the only one alone on Christmas, why nobody else was left without their loved ones today. Why it was just him.
“You’re our maknae, Kyungmin-ah. You can let your hyungs know when something happens,” Jihoon spoke, his voice wobbly. Empathetic as ever, tears floated in his eyes, hurting from the situation their youngest had been put in.
Kyungmin took a deep breath in. “I just-” He looked around, nervous about their reaction. But when he was met with looks of care and patience, he found the courage to keep speaking.
“I just didn’t want to burden you. You guys have family to see and people to be with. I don’t want you guys to miss out on that for me.”
Shinyu looked at Kyungmin. He didn’t dismiss the boy's feelings or tell him that he was wrong.
“When something like this happens, you become our priority, okay? We can always reschedule plans with family, but if you spend your Christmas sad and alone? We can’t change that or erase that bad memory. We’re a team, which means we all work together to make sure each and every one of us is happy and healthy. Including you. We rely on each other, always”.
Kyungmin nodded, sniffling slightly as he stared at his hands.
“Kyungmin-ah shouldn’t be alone on Christmas anyway. He’s too young, He’s at the age where he needs a proper Christmas celebration.”, Hanjin explained as if the boy were a decade younger than he actually was.
“I’m not that young, hyung.”
Dohoon smiled, “He’s right, Kyungminnie, you still believe in Santa, right?”
And finally, Kyungmin laughed. A small, light laugh, but still, a sign that he was feeling better.
“No”, he playfully rolled his eyes, “You guys think I’m five sometimes, I swear”.
They all laughed, Shinyu removing his hands from Kyungmin’s, getting up to do something.
With the oldest gone, Jihoon leaped onto Kyungmin, smiling as bright as ever while he wrapped his arms around the youngest.
Hanjin sat on the couch with the rest, Jihoon eventually shifting until he was sitting between Youngjae and Kyungmin, arms still wrapped around the maknae.
They naturally began chatting, having missed each other after 24 hours apart.
They talked about future performances and the food they wanted to eat when they went to Japan for their next schedule. They shifted from topic to topic, Jihoon eventually teasing Dohoon about the overly fluffy hat he wore, saying that it looked like Doori was on his head. Dohoon doesn’t accept any teasing about his fashion, especially from Jihoon, which naturally lead to a war breaking out.
They argued and argued, laughing in between complaints and lighthearted insults. The other three watched in amusement, Youngjae having tears in his eyes after a particularly funny diss from Dohoon.
It was always like this. Even when they only spent a day apart from each other, it felt like months. Yes, sometimes they wished for their own rooms and relished the nights when their hotel rooms were all separate. Yes, they sometimes got grumpy over being surrounded by people all the time, from the car ride to work till the car ride home. Yes, they occasionally argued and disagreed with each other, fretting over each other's living habits and dirty dishes.
Yet, there was something special in all of it. Yes, things were hectic sometimes, but the thought of going through it together made everything worth it.
Kyungmin, having been a trainee since he was 12, struggled from time to time, learning how to be a teenager, and now an adult, without his parents’ direct supervision.
It was hard, he’d be foolish not to admit that.
But he had five people by his side to guide him through everything. Shinyu hugging Kyungmin every moment he could, Dohoon teasing him while simultaneously showering him with love, Youngjae being an “F” only around Kyungmin to ensure his feelings are never hurt, Hanjin reorganizing his room with Kyungmin at 2 A.M. because the youngest couldn’t wait until morning, and Jihoon making him lunch for his exams.
There was so much love in every moment between the six. Kyungmin couldn’t feel more content, safer, and fulfilled.
Not only does he get to live out his dreams in TWS, but he also gets to surround himself with amazing people who adore him.
So, while it can be stressful sharing a room or being with someone 24/7, that was just what it meant to be human.
They always aired out their grievances, caring for each other too much for a fight to ruin a friendship or for someone’ feelings to get hurt. They constantly checked in with each other, apologized when they made mistakes, and gave each other the space to rant when everything felt like it was spiraling out of control.
Maybe that’s why one day feels like one hundred. The people they’re surrounded by are a part of their lives, a crucial part they couldn’t go without.
Kyungmin smiled at the realization, the thought that these people are so deeply connected to him. They’ll always be a constant in his life, keeping him grounded in their own ways.
He looked up as Shinyu finally returned, a satisfied smile painting the oldest boy's face.
“Guys,” he called, the members all ceasing their teasing and laughing, putting their attention on the leader.
“I contacted everyone’s families, and Dohoon’s parents offered to host dinner! All of our parents and siblings will be coming too, so we can spend our Christmas together.”
The members all beamed at the announcement.
“That’s awesome, hyung! You really figured that out for all of us?”
“Of course,” he spoke as if it were obvious, “And all our moms are fighting for the seat next to Kyungmin, so prepared to be smothered”.
The maknae smiled shyly, cheeks red from being cared about by so many people.
The members got up to get their shoes on and head out, leaving one by one.
Kyungmin stared at them, heart full.
Youngjae turned around and held his hand out.
The others looked back, too, making sure nobody was left behind.
He accepted the hand and stood up, laughing as he hopped over to the door.
He wasn’t alone.
And he’d never have to worry about being alone.
Not when he’s surrounded by love.
Not when he’s surrounded by his members.