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“You know…”
Juliet startles, hot chocolate sloshing over her mug.
Shannon is strolling out of the studio, the emerald of her blouse causing her dark eyes to sparkle.
“If someone looked at me that way-”
“Shannon,” Juliet sighs, narrowing her gaze at the other woman.
“Juliet,” she parrots, parking herself next to her against the brick wall. “You're missing the party."
"I was able to say hello to most of my students," Juliet assures her.
Shannon sighs. "You’ve pretty much become my closest friend. You know that, right?”
Juliet offers her a small smile. Shannon is not one for sugar-sweet words and random niceties. And yet, despite Juliet being the new teacher at the best dance studio on the East Coast, Shannon had been the one to welcome her in with open arms. Taking her under her wing - even though she was at least ten years younger - while initially pretending not to like her.
“That means a lot to me, thank you,” Juliet murmurs, directing her eyes back to the cocoa in her hands, the marshmallows melting within the pool of chocolate milk. “And you did a wonderful job organizing the Christmas party. I’m just taking a breather.”
“It’s fifteen degrees out here.”
Juliet purses her lips and continues to ignore the chill.
“The kids have all gone home, and most of the adults are wrapping things up.” Shannon leans against her, their elbows bumping as she rubs her hands up and down her arms. “Come back inside.”
“Is it that obvious?” Juliet asks quietly, finally lifting her gaze to meet Shannon’s. "How I look at her?"
“No,” she responds without hesitation. “I just know you both too well. Besides, I was talking about how she looks at you.”
Juliet feels her heart stumble and struggle to start up again. The usual side effect that came with talking about, looking at, or even thinking of Kate.
Shannon teaches the younger girls; her classes are usually filled with children still parading around in tutus and pretty pink ballet tights. Juliet is responsible for the adult classes - most of her students ranging from young adults to middle-aged. Kate Austen instructs the teenagers.
Juliet has managed to have some form of interaction with students from all three areas of dance, whether it be substituting for Shannon or Kate, or working with one of her fellow instructors and their group to prepare for a recital in which there is crossover between the three. Shannon’s troop specifically has taken a liking to her, usually tromping up the stairs while Juliet is preparing for the day’s lesson, swarming around her in awe - especially in those early days - because she “looked like a princess, just like Miss Shannon and Miss Kate”.
Kate’s lessons tended to overlap with most of Juliet’s, leaving little room for them to interact, but that doesn’t mean she hadn’t tried.
Both Shannon and Kate had been present at her audition, as well as her formal interview. Shannon had hid her thoughts well, never letting on exactly what she was thinking, but Kate hid hers even better.
“Your application states that you’ve taught for at least six different studios over the last ten years,” Kate had pointed out from across a thick mahogany desk in what she now knew was Kate’s personal office in the studio. “Is there a reason you have been unable to commit?”
Shannon’s throat had bobbed, her eyes flaring slightly, as if the question was a surprise to her. But Juliet was hardly rattled. If this woman wanted to drill her on her history, she would welcome it.
“It was hardly a lack of commitment,” Juliet replied. “Despite my education taking place at Juilliard, I looked for a job closer to home, in Miami, to be near my sister during her time recovering from cancer. Upon her remission, I transferred to a studio in California that I had been excited to join.” The usual knot in her chest had started to tighten, and she had breathed past it, just like she always did. “But when my sister’s cancer returned, I felt it necessary to be closer to home.”
Kate’s green eyes had flashed with what looked like a hint of sympathy, only to harden a second later.
“Should we expect you to be on call for family if we were to take you on as an instructor?”
“I don’t have any family,” Juliet had answered calmly.
Shannon’s lips had parted at the realization, the dismay subtle but evident across her expression. Kate’s had curved downwards as her lashes fell to her cheeks.
“So no,” Juliet had added. “While I have done my fair share of traveling and gained experience from various institutions over the last ten years, it is not due to a lack of commitment. Just a desire to find the right fit.”
“And why is this the right fit, Ms. Carlson?” Kate had asked, failing to look up from her notes this time.
Juliet hadn’t hesitated. “Because I have been following the developments of this studio for a long time, and it’s the best.” The statement was true - Shannon Rutherford had been the sole owner at the business’s birth, but as it continued to grow, she sought out additional instructors. Kate Austen had only been with the company for eight years, but her work was spectacular, with many of her students graduating to attend only the most prestigious of schools and programs. “And I can make it better.”
Kate’s gaze had snapped back to her at that, one slim eyebrow arching.
She got the job three days later.
Her first day of work, she came in bright and early, over an hour before her first scheduled class. She knocked on Kate’s office door with a small basket hanging on her arm, a “welcome basket” she had also made for Shannon, just to ensure they all got off on the right foot. Especially after the interview. But when Kate swung her door open, her eyes widened, breath catching before she glanced down at the basket.
Her brow furrowed before her face contorted into an expression of disdain.
“What, are you asking me to be BFFs or something?” she scoffed, and promptly shut the door in Juliet’s face.
So, yeah, they definitely hadn’t gotten off on the best foot.
Juliet forced herself to remain pleasant, even as Kate would sometimes scowl at her from across the room during their monthly budget meetings or steal her favorite coffee mug from the break room just to get under her skin.
“Have I done something wrong?” Juliet finally relented and asked Shannon one night when they both stayed late.
Shannon didn't waver, intently organizing the CDs next to her stereo. “I don't think so. Why?"
"I have been here for months and Kate still can't stand me."
"Just takes her a while to warm up to people.”
“She hated you for the first four months, too?” Juliet scoffed, but Shannon only smirked.
“No, but Kate and I… I don’t know, we connect a little easier. Have more in common that we bonded over quickly. You’re different.”
Juliet threw up her hands, insulted and frustrated and hurt. She was tired of being different. She was tired of being the girl with the dead sister, the disappointment in the family who was supposed to be a doctor but became a dancer instead, the woman with an ex-husband she only ever married to prove she could do something right. She didn't want to be different, she wanted to fit in here. She wanted Kate Austen to like her.
“How?”
“We’re used to struggling for what we want, Juliet.” Shannon shrugged, but her tone sounded heavy. “I couldn’t afford to go to college, Kate literally scraped by after she got away from her - her hometown, and without this company, neither of us would be anything. You went to the best school, got every scholarship available, and let’s be real, you could leave tomorrow and still have plenty of options to choose from. Just like you always have.”
She remembered the war of outrage and empathy that surged in her chest, sent her storming back up the stairs to her section of the studio, ignoring Shannon’s calls of her name. Flicking her stereo on, she kicked her street shoes off and snagged her dance pair from beneath her desk.
She couldn’t remember how long she danced that night, rehearsing choreography until her mind was blank and her muscles were screaming, sweat streaming down her spine and her sports bra damp against her skin.
It wasn’t until another figure appeared in the full-length mirror, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, that she returned to reality.
Kate had to shout over the music.
“You do know it’s 2 a.m.?”
Juliet huffed and strode across the room to turn off the music.
“Yeah? So what are you doing here?”
“You’re not the only one who likes to utilize their free time,” Kate replied, green eyes glinting in the lowlight.
She had kept the ceiling of fluorescent lights for the room off, opting for a single lamp in the corner.
“Well,” Juliet breathed, tucking a damp strand of hair behind her ear. “Thought I was by myself.”
Kate nodded, eyes following Juliet in the mirror. “I’ve never seen you dance before.”
“I danced for the audition to work here,” Juliet pointed out, bending to grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge beside her desk.
“I meant freely,” Kate clarified, finally tearing her eyes from the wall of mirrors to meet Juliet’s. “You have a beautiful form.”
She felt her cheeks threaten to flush and prayed Kate wouldn’t notice.
“Can I offer a suggestion?”
Juliet arched an eyebrow, but nodded. “Of course.”
Kate dropped her gym bag at the edge of the dance floor and strode to the middle of the room, looking to Juliet expectantly. She followed Kate to the center of what felt like a stage, her entire body stiffening as Kate stepped behind her, placing slim fingers on Juliet’s hips.
“When you perform your fouetté,” she murmured, glancing between her hands and the mirror. “Turn your hips in like this while you spin. It’ll help keep your core-” One of Kate’s hands splayed above Juliet’s abdomen, hovering. “Tighter without the extra effort. Otherwise…” Their eyes held in the mirror, the concentration of technique abandoning Kate’s, something else, something… softer, replacing it. “You’re perfect.”
Kate was shorter than she was, but not by much; her chin resting just above Juliet’s shoulder. She wanted to lean back, to see just how well Kate’s chin would fit in the alcove between her neck and her clavicle, to feel the dig of bone into her flesh.
Juliet turned her head ever so slightly, just enough to take in the woman standing behind her, barely touching her. But Kate’s head spun at the same time, their noses nearly brushing. It was the first time she noticed the dusting of freckles along Kate’s skin.
The sudden pull of heat in her stomach was so strong, she wanted nothing more than to lean in, follow the burn.
Kate dropped her hands, stepped away.
“I’m gonna… I’ll be in the basement level if you need anything,” she managed, shooting Juliet a pursed lip smile before starting for the door, scooping up her bag on the way out.
Juliet watched her rush through the waiting area and out the double doors toward the stairs. A strange but pleasant mixture of citrus and clove was still clinging to the air, swirling through her senses. Scraping a hand through her dilapidated braid, she returned to the other side of the room, and turned the stereo back on, cranking the music up a notch too loud.
She would force herself to stop thinking about Kate Austen and concentrate on the lyrical she would be teaching the girls next week.
But that had only been the start.
After that night, things with Kate were far less hostile, but no less awkward.
They kept running into each other at random times - in the break room, on the stairs, in Shannon’s studio. Shannon noticed, of course, but never said a word, usually catching Juliet’s eye with a subdued smirk and sauntering away before Juliet could interrogate her.
Eventually, she grew tired of resisting the strange draw to Kate, sneaking downstairs to watch her teach, hanging around the studio obnoxiously late in hopes that they would cross paths once more in the forgiving darkness of the night. She knew Kate was paying closer attention to her as well. The striking but sweet scent of her perfume sometimes lingered in the waiting area of Juliet’s studio when she stepped out after a class, Kate’s spine visibly stiffened when Juliet entered a room, and she could almost always feel those eyes assessing her when she wasn’t looking.
It's been tense, uncomfortable, electric. She wasn’t sure at first what this fascination with Kate meant - why she couldn’t stop thinking about the other woman at night when she was trying to sleep, why she would sometimes look her up on the internet just to study her face in photos unhurriedly, why she felt so desperate for them to be friends.
Only that isn’t what she wants. She knows what friendship feels like. She has created a beautiful and secure friendship with Shannon.
The hot coil in her stomach that burned brighter every time she merely thought about Kate is not something she would ever associate with friendship.
A whisper of the frigid air ripples through the thin silk of her dress, and Juliet clutches the hot chocolate tighter to her chest, letting the remaining warmth of the beverage seep into her skin.
It’s all been mostly fine until tonight, until they were surrounded by grown men, women, and children, parents and sponsors, and glittering Christmas decorations with Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree blaring for the tenth time. Until Kate walked in wearing a fitted cream sweater and a silky red skirt, and Juliet couldn’t get her stupid heart to settle down.
“You’ve been staring at each other like you're in a tragic romance novel for the last six months,” Shannon groans beside her now, breath rising like a billow of smoke in front of her. “And you’ve only been working here for seven. Just go talk to her so I can stop stepping into the middle of your weird sexual tension.”
“Shannon, I’ve never…” Juliet chews on her bottom lip. “It’s just been my ex-husband, a couple of boyfriends before that.”
“So?” Shannon shrugs, but offers an encouraging twitch of her lips when Juliet risks a glance at her. “I get it, I usually go for guys too, but it doesn’t all have to happen at once. Besides, she’s a person. You like her, she likes you - don’t think so hard.”
Juliet nods, still holding her hot chocolate to her chest like a lifeline, before Shannon finally liberates it from her hands.
“Let’s go,” she pushes, hooking her arm around Juliet’s and dragging her back inside. “You go find Kate.”
“While you go find Eva’s uncle? What is his name again… Sayid?” Juliet teases as Shannon pinches her side.
Kate is nowhere to be found when they return to the main floor of the building and venture into Shannon’s studio - the largest of the three and where the party was being held.
"Probably in her office panicking like you," Shannon groans, but shoves her towards the stairs with a wink.
Juliet trudges down the stairs with her heart thudding ahead of her. She catches a glimpse of herself in the waiting room mirror when she reaches Kate’s studio. Her cheeks and nose are red from the cold, but her hair is still falling in loose curls around her face, the crimson of her dress still causing the blues of her eyes to shine just a touch brighter than usual.
Kate’s office door is closed, and she doesn’t allow herself a moment to hesitate before knocking, staring at the knob until it turns. When it opens, Kate looks surprised to see her.
“What are you doing down here?” she asks, checking over her shoulder.
“Looking for you,” Juliet replies, watching Kate’s eyes flash even as they softened to a lovely shade of green. Jade, like a gemstone. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
“So do you,” Kate murmurs, loosening her grip on the door, leaning into the frame. “Way too pretty to be down here when there’s a party-”
“I wanted to wear something that would make you see me.” Kate falls still, lips parting in surprise. Juliet's heart is racing now, blood rushing through her ears, and her hands are shaking so hard she has to twist them together in front of her. “Because sometimes you’re the only thing I see.”
Kate blinks, one of her hands twitching at her side, as if she might reach out and touch her.
“But as soon as I walked in, you went outside,” she protests quietly, but there’s a lilt of hopefulness to her words.
As if she wanted to be wrong.
“Because I didn’t want anyone to notice,” Juliet laughs, waving a hand towards her. “I mean, I know it’s obvious with Shannon, but in front of all of our students and donors and friends, I-” Juliet shakes her head helplessly. “And if you don’t feel the same, I understand, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Kate exhales heavily and tucks a stray curl behind her ear before she drops her forehead to the doorframe. “Wow.”
“What?”
“I just… didn’t see you coming,” Kate replies, her gaze gentling, opening up in a way she hasn’t let Juliet see before.
Vulnerability can be such a brutal thing, something she sensed Kate was reluctant to ever allow, but she was letting it spill into her expression now, tender and raw and all for her.
Juliet leans in a little closer, watching Kate to ensure she isn’t moving away, isn’t uncomfortable with the proximity. But Kate is the one to reach for her, to touch her fingertips to her jaw, brushing sparks down her skin.
“Is this okay?” Kate whispers, the heat of her breath fanning along Juliet’s lips like a lovely preview of what’s to come.
“Yes,” she murmurs, tilting her chin as she closes the inch of distance between them, something inside of her unwinding when Kate’s lips dust feather-light over hers.
Juliet sighs as she kisses her back, cupping Kate’s cheeks while she feels her rise on her toes, lacing her arms around Juliet’s neck. One set of her fingers tangles in the wild curls of Kate’s hair, like they’ve always wanted to, eliciting a soft moan, the part of Kate’s mouth under hers.
She’s never kissed a woman before, but she’s thought about kissing Kate Austen often, imagining what it would feel like, wondering if it would feel different.
And it does, but not in the way she would have expected. She doesn’t think she’s ever been kissed with the reverence Kate tends to her mouth with, the slow stroke of her tongue, or the peppering of her lips along Juliet’s jaw, down to her neck.
It feels like floating, like dancing.
Juliet chases her mouth, finds the petal soft surface of Kate’s mouth once more, teasing her tongue between her lips until a small moan blooms in her throat. Kate gentles the frenetic clash of their lips with tender fingers traipsing along her cheeks, into her hair. She combs through the tousled waves, caresses her nape with the drape of her palm, traces the tip of her vertebrae with tentative kisses of her fingertips.
Juliet rests her forehead against Kate’s, the muffled music upstairs and the tangling rhythm of their breathing the only sounds in the air.
“I’ve never done this before,” Juliet confesses, curling her hands at Kate’s wrists, circling her thumbs along the lines of her pulse.
She yearns to follow the path of bones up her arms, along the chords of muscles and valleys of definition; she aches to study every inch of skin with more than her eyes.
“That’s okay.” Kate returns her hands to Juliet’s face, cradling her cheeks in her warm palms. Her thumb dusts along Juliet’s bottom lip and she smiles, lets their noses bump and their smiles brush as she kisses her once more. “I’ll teach you.”