Chapter Text
“Really, you’re the one getting the promotion everyone has been waiting for?”
I looked at Mal. She really was a beautiful woman. There was always a friendly expression in her green eyes that felt warm to me.
“Yes, what could that mean?”
“I deserved this promotion too!”
I wasn’t offended by any of her words. Mal was very straightforward when talking to me, and she knew all of my secrets.
“But you’re forgetting one thing,” I winked. “Her best friend is me here.”
“After five years, what kind of friendship have you developed!” she grumbled and took her place.
I grinned and looked at the clock. It was still far from seven in the evening. I would leave at five and be home by six. If I ran to the bus stop, I could even shorten this time by fifteen minutes. That way, I would have more time to get ready, I thought. Since there wasn’t much work, I drifted into daydreams. Actually, I had been doing this for five years, but at home. If you imagine someone for five years, you notice every detail about them. I always remembered the first streak in their hair, their weight changes. And then, a grown man entered through the door.
“Art,” he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. I had already learned to prevent my face from blushing since he always did this.
“How’s it going?”
I looked at Mal with cheekiness. The fact that nothing leaked between me and my boss both irritated her and gave me hope. But I couldn’t help it; every morning he would look into my eyes and say, “Good morning,” from day one. Every noon, he would always wish me “enjoy your meal,” and later he started going out to lunch with me. When friends who were jealous of his closeness to me but not as well-intentioned as Mal caused me trouble, he was always backing me up. In fact, Cobb's legal support had even led to two people losing their jobs. As I gained confidence at work, I started making small mistakes. But he never threatened to fire me; on the contrary, my salary kept increasing, and now it was promotion time. But that wasn’t what I was interested in.
Now all my attention was on the hands that were on my shoulder, belonging to the face I had been dreaming of since earlier, as I hadn’t responded.
“I’m looking forward to the evening,” I said, astonished at myself, but only Mal reacted. As I was moving toward her office, I thought I wasn’t moving forward with Cobb. When my hand went involuntarily to my shoulder, Mal's more furrowed brow warned me, and I drifted into thoughts like before.
Where had he disappeared to for two hours? I was the only one who could ask, yet I was being blocked by Mal as always. I guess for Mal, accepting that I was gay was easier than accepting that I was in love with my boss. So if I liked someone outside, Mal could have been even more supportive than usual, but daydreaming romantically at the office was of course dangerous for my friends and me.
But I couldn’t help it; he made me feel American in a foreign country. If he also knew the truths about me, it would have caused bigger problems than me being German—I knew that, but for now we were managing. I really enjoyed drawing meanings from one glance or one smile of his over five years. He also appreciated my diligence. For heaven’s sake, who would be home at seven after five years! I always thought that thinking of him when I got home made preparing for tomorrow’s work easier. Working from eight in the evening until midnight… and sleeping at twelve. Only my mother was missing at home.
“Working overtime again?” Mal asked suggestively, and I realized we were alone in the office.
“The boss hasn’t left yet,” I said.
“I hope it continues like this. The more overtime you do, the more money you earn.”
“Of course I will. I’ll even get promoted. Can you stop being jealous?”
“I’m not jealous. I just have a strange feeling inside. Soon everything will seem bad for you.”
“I think you’re just joking, as usual,” I said and grabbed my beige jacket. “Unfortunately, we won’t be able to walk together today. I’ll run.”
“I’d be surprised if you did anything else,” she curled her nose.
When I got home, the man I had known for twenty years appeared. He was showing my reflection, which hadn’t changed much over twenty-seven years, in the mirror of my wardrobe. Of course, I hadn’t changed because I was of average height, which kept me from feeling too aged. I took off my sweater along with my jacket—what a weak body. I scowled and slipped into the bathroom straight to the shower. I felt better as the sweat smells left my body. After pouring perfumes on myself, I put on the clothes that had been ready since yesterday and went out, trying to keep my pulse under control. I thought if I could stay calm, I wouldn’t sweat either. Soon, I jumped into my second-hand car, because I wanted to be there on time. I had never been late for work before, so I had to arrive before him again to please him.
When I saw mostly elegantly dressed couples at the place I arrived, I couldn’t help but smile. Cobb was there too, just about to sit, but his back was turned, so he couldn’t see me. “Do you have an appointment, sir, or would you like me to show you where to go?” the waiter asked, and I nodded my head, saying, “I’m Mr. Cobb's guest,” and walked toward his table. Cobb stood up as soon as he saw me and shook my hand. My smile widened.
“I’ve never seen anyone as punctual as you,” he praised. I took a deep breath and sat across from him. As usual, he would order the drinks and leave the food to me.
“I think you shouldn’t set limits on drinking tonight,” he said, and I could swear his voice sounded like someone who liked me.
“I assume we’re here for your promotion news,” I replied.
“Yes, but there’s one more topic I want to talk about,” he said, and my heart almost stopped. Cobb, my boss, had never been in a relationship in five years, and now his hair had turned white. What was he waiting for to start a relationship?
“You know I’m in love with my job, but how much longer can I avoid serious decisions?”
I swallowed. After five years, when totaled, was the moment I had been waiting for twenty-seven years finally coming? I looked at the waiter who brought the drinks, frowning, as if he kept me a century away from that confession.
“I’m thinking of getting married,” he said, and I almost fell off my chair. Mar—married? How would that even happen? I mean, w—would I get married in my first relationship? Where, when? I took a sip from my beer. Cobb continued, “The reason I’m telling you this…”
“To make you the person who knows Mal the best…”
“Ma-Mal?”
“Yes. The reason I’m so close to you is to ask you to learn what she thinks about me. Tell me, what would Mal say if I proposed to her?”
I coughed a few times and drank the glass in front of me. “Why don’t you tell her directly?” I started. “She will give you the best answer.”
“But I want to know if there’s someone she likes or if she says anything nice about me.”
“So you want me to gossip?”
“That’s not quite it. Think, Art, this is good news for your best friend and your boss!”
I looked at his face for a long time. After that, I couldn’t believe what I said either:
“I’m getting promoted for this.”
“Yes, if I gave the promotion to Mal, it would be unfair and it would seem like I’m bribing her heart. Thirdly, giving favoritism to the person I consider my spouse would be unfair to other friends. But you are my favorite employee, Art, I couldn’t tell anyone about this. I didn’t even tell my mother, but Mal has long been the person I thought would be the best spouse.”
“So, what do your feelings say?” I wondered what I was doing here.
“I like her, of course. A very beautiful woman… very smart.”
“Excuse my rudeness, Mr. Cobb,” I said, standing up. I put my own bill on the table with the money I took out of my pocket. “I’ll submit my resignation tomorrow,” I said, then left the table.