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Summary
Todd Anderson is three months from seventeen when he runs away from home, certain of why he's leaving but less certain about where he's going. When he stumbles upon a diner with a kind waitress inside, he learns about a horse ranch known for taking on young runaways as ranch hands. Out of options, he tries his luck with it, and it's there he meets Neil, a bright, joyful boy with his own secrets.
Todd resists his feelings, afraid of history repeating itself, but over the course of one fall it becomes clear that Neil might be different, and Todd's future isn't so bleak after all.
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gorgussua
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“I worry enough just fine,” Todd snaps, irritated and guilty and confused as to why Neil keeps pushing this. His headache is getting worse. “I can take care of myself, Neil, so just—just leave it alone! I’m fine!”
“I’m not going to—Todd, I care about you,” Neil says, letting out a disbelieving huff. “You’re acting like that’s wrong, like it’s wrong to worry.”
There’s a beat—Todd feels like he might throw up. “Well, what if it is?” he croaks, and then his voice gets stuck in his throat. Mute, he tears his gaze away when Neil looks at him with big eyes.
“It’s not,” Neil says softly. “You deserve—I want to. I want to care about you, Todd, let me take care of you.”
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Neil has given him so much of himself, has given Todd so much patience. Todd wants to give him something, even if it’s the darkest part of himself.
Oh my fucking God.
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I am pain. But the good kind