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the first thing el noticed about dustins house was how quiet it was.
not the empty kind of quiet. the kind that presses in on your ears, but the soft, lived in quiet of a place that expected people to come back. well it makes sense, hes an only child afterall. the hum of the refrigerator, the tick of a clock she couldn’t see, the faint echo of someone elses life moving just beyond the walls.
dustin let her in without asking questions. he never asked the kind of questions that made her feel like she was doing something wrong just by existing. he just stepped aside, door swinging open, like this was always where she was meant to be.
“hey” he said, careful. like the word might break if he said it too loudly.
she nodded in return. Words felt heavier today.
his room was exactly how she remembered it, posters curling at the corners, cassette tapes stacked in crooked towers, the smell of old carpet and a guitar dustin bought just because of eddie. it felt untouched by everything they’d survived, like the world had forgotten this place on purpose.
dustin reached for his tape deck before she could decide whether to sit or stand. the click of plastic was loud in the quiet, final and deliberate. music bled into the room slowly, a guitar easing in like it didn’t want to startle them.
el sat on the edge of his bed, hands folded tight in her lap. The song wasn’t loud. it didn’t demand anything from her. it just stayed, steady and patient, like it was waiting for her to catch up.
dustin leaned against his desk, pretending not to watch her listen.
she didn’t know why she’d come here. only that the space between her ribs felt hollow, and that somehow, sitting in this room with this music and this boy made it hurt less.
outside, the world kept spinning.
inside, the song played on.
"el?"
she looks up, it startled her, it was very sudden.
"what?"
"you...are you okay? i-i dont know you just seem really, um, stressed..?"
dustin chose his words carefully, he was scared of saying the wrong thing.
"dustin, i feel so alone all the time, i know im not but i just feel like i am. ever since i broke up with mike ive been feeling like no ones gonna love me like he did ever again."
she looked down, tears formed in her eyes
"is that whats this about?"
dustin mumbled with a sad smile
"el..youre not alone, youre just going through a break up"
she sighed and closed her eyes as he continued
"theres so much people who love you, youre so fucking special man, i dont even know how to even begin to explain to you how grateful i am youre in my life"
el finally looks up at him
"you think?"
dustin gets closer and grabs her hand
"i know"
he corrected her which made her smile
"youre special to me, dustin"
el kisses his cheek
"i love you"
she immediately regrets saying that. fuck. she knew mike loved her, but he wasnt IN love with her. el has learnt to say i love you only to people shes inlove with, so what the fuck was that? she couldnt be inlove with dustin..
"i love you too, el"
dustin went in to kiss her cheek the same way she did to him, but this time el gently grabbed his face and pecked him.
so maybe she does have some feelings for dustin. the realisation freaks her out but before she can apologise dustin kissed her, a real kiss this time.
"fuck, ive been wanting to do this for so long"
dustin breathed out
"how long?"
el asks curious, when did he realise he likes her? does he even really like her?
"too long"
he kissed her again, it felt so intimate and sweet
"i realised i liked you after the snowball"
els eyes widened
"when I saw you dancing with mike, i got so.."
he stopped
"sorry, i shouldnt be mentioning mike right now"
el giggled at this, dustin was so ridiculously cute
"its fine, continue"
she really wants to listen to what he has to say
"uh, well i dont know. i got like, jealous?"
he admitted and started rubbing the bridge of his nose
"you know, i saw you looking so beautiful, and for a moment, i wanted to be the one to dance with you"
he looked away in embarrassment
"you think i was beautiful?"
she smiled and leaned forward
"you still are, youve always been. even when you had no hair"
he smirked and she rolled her eyes to cover the fact her cheeks are heating up
"why didnt you tell me you liked me?"
she asks slowly, knowing the answer already
"mike, obviously"
exactly what she expected
"hes like..one of my best friends, and at the time it really seemed like he loved you. i didnt want to be the one to make things awkward and ruin everything. you were always special to me, it was so painful to see you and him together all the time"
he took a deep breath after admitting it
"mike never loved me in that way, he just really loved how 'cool' my powers are"
dustin and els eyes lock as they start to chuckle
"im making him seem like a bad guy, hes really not! we're still friends and all, its just that i felt so unseen because of him. does that make sense?"
dustin nods
"i get this, thats kind of why suzie and i broke up"
els interest sparked again
"i never felt seen or heard by her, it was like talking to a brick wall"
el giggled silently
"after that lovey dovey phase was over, she became a whole different person. she turned cold and sometimes even mean"
oh, thats new
"im sorry dustin"
el whispered out, maintaining intense eye contact as she locked their hands together. it made dustin smile
"its fine, im over it. i have someone better in mind now anyway"
he pulled her in for a hug, theyre both so emotional they havent even noticed its ozzy osbourne singing the song thats playing
'she sits in silence, in her midnight world
Her faded pictures, of her dancing girls
Her, distant dreamer, on the seas of time
Her happy memories, dancing through her mind'
el really tried listening to the lyrics, this wasnt like the other metal songs that dustin makes the party listen to, this was sweeter. the song has a jazzy sound to it although black sabbath usually plays metal
'in days of romance
she was the queen of dance
she'd dance the night away'
el laughed
"why is ozzy osbourne singing about dancing and romance?"
"thats whats so great about metal bands, they can go from heavy to light easily, they can do both"
dustin seemed excited to talk about metal, he started listening to it because of eddie, theyd put on music while playing d&d and dustin ended up developing a love for the genre
"you told me ozzy osbourne was the one who bit he head off the bat right?"
el only knows these stuff because dustin wont stop talking about it now
"youre so smart"
he pressed their lips together
'and as the seasons turn the days to years
she holds her pictures, hears the silent cheers
the days grow lonely for the dancing queen
and now she dances only in her dreams'
el seemed even more surprised now, actually listening to the lyrics change everything about the song, shes growing to love it
"youre kind of like the dancing queen"
dustin pointed out, leaving el confused
"how? i dont dance, dustin"
"not literally! i mean, the songs called 'air dance', 'air' kind of as in freedom and escape, it symbolises liberation. and 'dance' suggests movement beyond boundaries. its also about letting go and-"
he cut himself off
"am i boring you?"
he asked genuinely
"no! im interested. continue, dustin"
she tilted her head down and looked at dustin through her eyelashes
"please?"
el started to imitate the "puppy eyes" she'd see women doing on TV
"its just..nostalgia, missing the happiness you felt long ago. 'air dance' is like, floating above life for a little while, escaping all the heaviness and chaos. it’s about that feeling when you just want to let go, drift free, and not worry about the world weighing you down. there’s a mix of freedom and a little sadness in it, like the kind of release you crave but can’t hold onto for long. the lyrics aren’t telling a story exactly, they’re more like painting a mood, capturing that sense of soaring above everything, even if just in your mind"
el was impressed
"you seem to love this song"
dustin agrees
"black sabbath is just sick, best 70s band"
they both chuckled
"whats the time?"
dustin looks over at the clock
"its 10:49 pm, want me to walk you home?"
el shook her head no
"i wanna stay"
dustin smiled, a genuine happy smile
"as long as you want"
dustin laid on his bed, el following him and laying down next to him.
they stared at each other for a few seconds before bursting out laughing
"why are you looking at me like that?"
els voice cracked from laughing
"sorry, youre just so cute"
"youre cuter"
dustin furrowed his eyebrows
"thats not true"
"accept it"
"friends dont lie"
for a moment there was silence, until el started laughing so loud that dustins ears actually hurt
"remember that?"
dustin couldnt help but chuckle, els reaction was priceless
"of course, i was such a dumb kid"
el says cringing at herself
"thats not true, youve always had a strong personality, thats a good thing"
el felt herself starting to get tired, she started speaking more softly
"thank you, i love you"
"i love you"
they smiled at each other
"i think i might fall asleep"
dustins eyes are barely open
"me too..im exhausted from training"
"rest, you deserve it"
el smiled at dustins words. its obvious she deserves it but she cant see that, the bare minimum feels like a Shakespeare story after dating mike wheeler.
"goodnight, dustin"
she cuddles up to him
"goodnight, el"
the music continues playing, but el didnt care, for the first time in a while she actually felt loved again.