Work Text:
Shi Qingxuan squinted down at the roiling tarry mass on the stove before her. The oil slick on the surface of the pan reflected the harsh overhead lights of the galley kitchen.
"Well. Perhaps this is still salvageable."
Xie Lian offered his friend an apologetic smile. "And perhaps this will poison half the crew."
"Half the crew is overly dramatic. This would hardly lay out a third." Shi Qingxuan rifled through the array of multicolored bottles strewn across the counter, searching the solution to their problems.
"What did you do to offend Captain Wu this time? He only seems to assign you to the kitchens when he wants to punish you. Or us." Shi Qingxuan triumphantly held aloft a bottle of wine from the Orion star system.
"Nothing worth remarking upon I'm afraid." Xie Lian busied himself with tidying up the chaotic workstation, studiously avoiding Shi Qingxuan's curious gaze.
"Captain Wu is known to be unpredictable I suppose." Shi Qingxuan hummed. "One day you have his favor; the next he's put you on kitchen duty."
"Such is the way of Star Fleet captains." Xie Lian said noncommittally.
Shi Qingxuan eyed Xie Lian with a piercing amber gaze. "And that wouldn't have anything to do with that handsome bartender we picked up on Risa, would it?"
Xie Lian fought to keep his expression neutral even as a blush crept up his neck.
"Oh, Hua Cheng? He and I have barely spoken." He laughed to discharge some of the anxious energy building in his chest. Xie Lian didn't like lying to his friends but also he wasn't stupid enough to confirm damning details to one of the most notorious gossips on the ship.
Shi Qingxuan uncorked the bottle in her hand with a practiced motion and liberally poured the contents into the pot. Predictably, the addition of the alcohol did nothing to salvage the concoction.
The moment the liquor touched the pan, the contents sputtered and hissed before dramatically catching fire and burning to a crisp. Although the remaining charcoal was certainly safer to eat than the unidentifiable mass from before, it was no more appetizing.
Xie Lian hurriedly turned off the heat and fanned a plume of pungent smoke away with his hand. Shi Qingxuan peered down at the pan and poked at the carbon remains left behind with one carefully manicured nail. The "food"—if it could even be called that—crumbled at the barest contact.
"You don't think Captain Wu will actually make us eat this, do you?" Shi Qingxuan surreptitiously wiped her hand on a nearby sanitizing cloth.
Xie Lian shrugged. Captain Wu likely wouldn't make him eat it. Not now that he had served his penance in the galley for an afternoon. Maybe Captain Wu would box it up and keep it in reserve as a punishment for some unlucky soul in the future. It wouldn't be the first time Xie Lian's culinary marvels were used for a more punitive purpose.
"Who's to say really?" Xie Lian tried to sound casual and not like he was damning the crew to the mercurial whims of their captain.
Shi Qingxuan paled noticeably. "Please no."
Just another day in paradise abroad the USS Tiāntíng.