Work Text:
Signs of Christmas could be found all throughout the big city of Danville.
Maleficent ignored them all. She could not be bothered by Santas asking for charity money, people singing carols, or the always-enticing Black Friday sales. The holidays meant a terrible increase in city traffic, and it never got any better no matter how many times she cursed the firstborn of the idiots who cut her off.
Still, she’d made it to Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc. in one piece. That was something. Nodding to Pete in his security post, she took the elevator up to the thirteenth floor, where her office waited for her.
“Look who finally made it.” Her fiancé, Hades, and best friend, Yzma, sipped poison apple lattes by the copier. Hades lifted his cup to Maleficent in a mock toast. “You sure you want that promotion, sweetheart?”
“Hmph. That’s enough out of you,” snapped Maleficent, throwing him a kiss over her shoulder. They could snark all they wanted. She had a project to finish before Christmas Eve and nothing was going to get in her way. Nothing and nobody.
Her other best friend, Ursula, leaned against her office door frame and knocked on the wall. “By the way, Mal, the boss wants to see you.”
Maleficent slammed a folder full of design plans against her desk. “And just when were you planning to tell me this?”
“Calm down, angelfish. I’m not the one who cut you off in front of the parking garage.”
Lightning crackled from a staff leaning against Maleficent’s desk - a prototype that her boss had labeled “the Scepter-inator.” She took a deep breath, then another, until her rage subsided and her heart rate returned to normal. That particular “inator” was still too attuned to her and liable to explode if it wasn’t re-tweaked.
She strode quickly down the hall to the executive office of Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. It was a chaotic mess, as executive offices went. Cluttered throughout the room were various discarded or broken inventions, designed to spread misery throughout the world in one way or another. Most came from Dr. Doofenshmirtz' own warped mind, but she could see a few that came from her colleagues: Yzma's potions that turned people into animals, a replica model of Oogie Boogie’s gambling wheel, a broken robot designed to look like a bowler hat, and a dusty old lamp meant to store phenomenal cosmic powers into one tight space.
Her boss spun around in his swivel chair. “Ah, Maleficent! Do come in! I was just looking over the blueprints of your latest inator. Very nice, very nice!” He had her blueprints spread out across his desk. “The Spinning Wheel-inator: guaranteed to put an obnoxious princess to sleep forever if she pricks her finger on its spindle.”
In spite of herself, Maleficent waited for his next words with bated breath. Approval from the boss could mean achieving the one thing that she’d always wanted, ever since she’d first joined the company: being named the Mistress of All Evil.
“You know, Maleficent, ever since you came to work for us, you’ve been making quite the name for yourself. The Frostinator that ruined people’s best flowers, the Scepter-inator for casting spells, and now this!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz rubbed his hands together. “I think you know what that means!”
She waited. The wrong answer could be fatal. It was best to let him say it out loud.
“You’re ready to take on another assignment!”
Maleficent went cold. Another one? This imbecile of a boss would dare use her as a tool to raise his company’s reputation without a promotion?
“Ah, but not just any assignment, Maleficent.” Dr. Doofenshmirtz wagged his finger at her in an irritating manner, as though he knew what she was thinking. “This will be the most important assignment that you have ever received. The kind that will determine whether you really have what it takes to be the next Mistress of All Evil!”
The tension only increased in the pit of her stomach. “And what would that be?”
Dr. Doofenshmirtz rose from his seat and went to the window, beckoning her to follow. From his view, they could see the people below hurrying to finish their Christmas shopping. “You see, Maleficent, every year, villains everywhere look to my company for guidance on how to best ruin Christmas. We have a very important reputation to uphold, and lately we’ve been slacking. You remember the Grinch? He used to be one of our strongest supporters, and now he’s off bringing cheer to some backwater village in the mountains.”
None of this was news to Maleficent. There’d been muttering within the company about it. Every year, it seemed that they took a little longer than before to release new Christmas-ruining inators. “So, you want me to take my Scepter-inator to Whoville and destroy those cretins?”
“What?! No, of course not. We’re villains, not monsters.” Doofenschmirtz turned his back to the window and paced around his office. “What I’m about to tell you is not easy to admit. But you are one of my most trusted employees, so I don’t think you’ll stab me in the back.”
“Of course not,” Maleficent lied.
“Well, here it is: there’s a reason why we’ve been slacking lately. Try as I might…and I’ve tried, believe me…I just can’t bring myself to hate Christmas.”
He’d managed to do the impossible: Maleficent was so surprised that she found herself at a loss for words. “...You like Christmas?”
“No, no, I didn’t say I liked it,” her boss clarified. “I said I don’t hate it. There’s a difference. But still, ‘not hating’ Christmas is unacceptable to the CEO of a company dedicated to evil.” He turned to face Maleficent and pressed his hands together. “That’s where you come in. I want you to ruin Christmas.”
Maleficent’s shock was so great that she felt her anger fading away. “You want to put me in charge of ruining Christmas for someone?”
“Sure, why not? Pick a person or some little small town out in the country and completely wreck their day. Show the rest of the villains how it’s done. If you can impress me, your act of evil will be put at the front of the company newsletter and you’ll be promoted to Mistress of All Evil! Maybe even…dare I say it…Employee of the Month!”
Maleficent felt hope stirring inside her once more. Strange that even a witch like her could feel joy at this time of year. Perhaps Christmas had a magic of its own.
The snow was coming down fast, but according to the road signs, Maleficent only had to drive three more miles to reach the little town of Radiant Garden. There was nobody else around. But of course there wouldn’t be. Who else would want to travel to such a backwater location at this time of year - or any time of year, for that matter?
According to the information that she’d gathered online, Radiant Garden had a population of 3,582 people. The town’s website contained very little in the way of information about its history or its chief sources of income. It did, however, list a number of charming Christmas traditions, which Maleficent would have normally avoided like the plague. But her job was on the line. Turning those traditions from charming to charmless would be her top priority when she arrived.
And because Maleficent was so distracted by thoughts of how to ruin the annual yard display contest, she wasn’t paying attention when her car slid over a patch of ice. The next thing she knew, she was spinning out of control - then her car struck a rock on the side of the road - then it toppled over.
Maleficent took a minute to catch her breath. Snow continued to fall on the car and the engine was dead. She managed to crawl out and surveyed the damage. The car was a wreck and her black dress and heels were scuffed up, but her face and hair were unscathed.
She heard another car coming to a stop on the road and a door opening. “What the…?” an unfamiliar voice growled.
Maleficent turned around. A man had emerged from his sports car, tall and strong; she could see his muscles bulging underneath his winter coat and plaid shirt. A red headscarf was wrapped around his brow and she could just make out the tips of a tattoo on his chest.
“Everything okay, Dad?” a boy’s voice called out from inside the car.
"In a minute, boy." The man let out a low whistle as he looked over the damaged car. "Looks like your Christmas got off to a rough start, didn't it?" he said to Maleficent. "Too bad you don't have Santa's sleigh to pull you out."
She scoffed. "I do not need the assistance of that mythical cretin. I can handle this myself."
"Cretin?" The man laughed. "That's the first time I've heard Santa Claus described like that around here. You're new in town, aren't you? Where are you from?"
Maleficent clenched her teeth together. She'd barely arrived and already made a mistake. Insulting Santa wouldn't go over well with these people. She would have to play it safer and earn her way into their graces if she ever wanted to ruin the holiday for them. So Maleficent pretended to laugh.
"Oh, dear, excuse me. I'm afraid I was so distressed by the accident that I acted rude towards you. Please accept my apologies," she told him, in her most elegant voice. "Now, would you happen to know a decent inn where I may spend the night while my car repairs?"
"We have an inn!" shouted a younger voice, the same boy that she had heard when the car first pulled up at the scene. He remained in the passenger seat, but she could see him squiriming around. "You could stay with us!"
Maleficent considered this possibility. A child such as him would make for a useful tool to practice her evil magic. If he could learn to hate Christmas, then the rest of the town wouldn't be too far behind.
On the other hand, staying in a cute little inn in a small town sounded like torture. Her boss didn't pay her enough for this nonsense.
Still, there was the "Mistress of All Evil" title on the line…
"Thank you. I accept."
"Alright," said the man, "Let's see if we can't get Auron out here to tow your car into town. You can ride back to the inn with us."
"Thank you, Mr…?
"You can call me Jecht. The boy in the car is my son, Tidus. And you are?"
"Maleficent."
And just like that, she was in.
Two minutes later, she wanted out. The child would not stop talking.
"So where were you going?"
She had expected this question and had an excuse ready. "Oh, I am on my way home to save my family's ailing Christmas tree farm."
"Really? Where's that?"
"Very far from here. I was hoping to arrive tomorrow."
"We can take you there, right, Dad?" said Tidus, leaning over the headrests of both their seats.
Jecht seemed as annoyed as her by the suggestion. "We can't just leave the inn unattended, boy." To Maleficent, he added, "We can get you a bus ticket and you can pick up your car on the way back. Or you can call your folks and wait it out until your car is fixed. Auron's pretty good."
Maleficent smiled. "I will be happy to wait in your little inn. I am sure it is quite…charming."
What wasn't so charming was how the child went right back to asking inane questions. "What's with the horns on your head? Are they supposed to be reindeer antlers? How come they're black? Are you going to wear a shiny red nose too? Or are you not Rudolph? Do you know who Rudolph is?"
"Yes. Of course I know who that little…that sweet little reindeer is." Every time she heard that irritating jingle, she set fire to whatever happened to be closest to her. That ice storm had been a beautiful team effort between everyone at Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc. She herself contributed the flashes of lighting in the mix, and it had been one of her proudest accomplishments.
They'd been so sure that Santa Claus wouldn't be able to drive his sleigh through that mess.
And then that pesky little creature had to go and ruin everything.
"These 'horns' are not antlers. They are my headdress. It is a…family tradition…" She would need to think a little harder about what her fake family did at the fake Christmas tree farm. Then again, perhaps the child would be too stupid to notice any discrepancies.
As Jecht pulled up to the Radiant Garden Hometown Inn, snow began to fall. Not the rough kind that she and her friends had created for that legendary storm. Soft, light, whimsical flakes that danced through the air and left a graceful coat of white wherever they landed. They covered the Christmas wreaths on every window and the lights strung over the building, which had just come to life now that the sun was setting.
Inside, it smelled like peppermint. A beautiful tree decorated the foyer. Tidus kept asking questions. "Do you like our inn? Do you like our tree? What do you want for Christmas? I asked Santa for a blitzball. Do you play blitzball?"
"Boy, leave her alone and go play with your friends."
Jecht reached for Maleficent's bags. She bristled. How dare he assume that she couldn't do it? "I will handle my luggage, thank you very much."
"Yeesh, just trying to help. The phone's down the hall if you want to call your folks."
"Surely the rooms have their own phones?" said Maleficent.
"Not here. We're a pretty small town, and this inn doesn't see a lot of action. You'll have to make do with what we've got. Unless your highness would rather walk a few miles to the next town over."
Maleficent clenched her teeth. Pathetic. Useless imbeciles. She marched down the hallway, her head held high, and dialed Hades' number.
"Hey there, sweetheart! Finally made contact? About time. How's the big scheme going?"
Maleficent glanced over her shoulder. Jecht was making his way upstairs with her luggage, but just in case, she kept her responses neutral. "My car has broken down in Radiant Garden. I'll be staying with these lovely people for a few days and learning all about their charming seasonal traditions."
"Sounds perfect. Have fun. Give them my regards when you burn their Christmas tree."
The two of them cackled together over the phone. But as Maleficent hung up, she realized that someone else had been listening to the conversation. Tidus stood in the hallway, bouncing his blitzball around.
"You have a weird laugh," he said. "What's with all the AH-HA-HA-HA? What are you laughing about anyway? What's the joke?"
Maleficent could feel a holiday migraine incoming.
Her room didn't come with a phone, but it did come with a brochure listing all of the times that you could visit Santa in the town square. Other flyers contained more details about the tree lighting ceremony in three days, and a contest entry form for the gingerbread decorating contest on Christmas Eve.
There was also a school Christmas pageant, but according to Tidus, they were having trouble getting it off the ground and it was unclear whether they would ever be ready in time for the big performance - also on Christmas Eve.
Since the pageant seemed well on its way to being ruined without Maleficent's intervention, she decided to start with the gingerbread decorating contest. She could buy up all of the kits in the stores, making it impossible for anyone else to enter. The tree lighting ceremony would be easy enough too - a fire spell would finish it before it began.
Then: the grand finale. She would deliver Christmas cookies to everyone in town as a gesture of goodwill to the people who had been so kind to help her while stranded. They would have no way of knowing that the cookies were spiked with a potion that would put them into a deep sleep. By the time they awoke, Christmas would be long over.
And maybe, if there was time, she could create an "inator" that brought the snowmen in everyone's yards to life, allowing anyone who commanded them to take over the Tri-State area. Just to please her boss.
It was a perfect plan.
What could possibly go wrong?
The first hiccup arose after she bought up all of the ingredients kits. She simply had no place to put them except for her room at the inn, and it wasn't long until she ran out of space there. Fortunately, with the inn in such bad financial shape, she had plenty of empty rooms at her disposal.
Unfortunately, Jecht found them anyway.
"What are you, some kind of gingebread hoarder?" he quipped.
Maleficent glared at his stupid smirk and the stupid piles of boxes scattered throughout the room. "You misunderstand me. I am merely…merely…"
She struggled to think of an excuse, but it was hard to come up with something when she looked back into Jecht's burning brown eyes.
"Oh, I see what you're doing!" Tidus piped up, as he stuck his head into the room. "You're trying to make the biggest gingerbread house ever for the contest!"
In a way… Maleficent smiled graciously. "Why yes. That is exactly my plan."
Jecht raised his eyebrows. "That's a lot of kits for the biggest gingerbread house ever. How are you going to move it out of the inn to the judging area?"
"I shall have a plan ready by the morning of the contest, I assure you," grumbled Maleficent. Assuming the contest wasn't cancelled when there were no other entries.
"Can we help?" asked Tidus. "Me and Dad? I want to make the biggest gingerbread house too!"
"There is no need…" Maleficent protested.
But Jecht seemed to get a kick out of doing the very thing that he knew would irritate her. "Awww, what a nice idea, son. Why not?"
"Don't you have an inn to run?" sputtered Maleficent.
"For you, gorgeous? I could make an exception."
Maleficent seethed, but decided to play along for the time being and curse them with food poisoning later. They spent the first hour simply opening boxes and discarding wrapping for the hundreds of kits that Maleficent had purchased. Tidus grabbed pencils and scrap paper to create the design. "How do you want it to look?" he asked her.
Back at her office in Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc., Maleficent had always enjoyed the design phase of a project best. Nothing was off the table and anything could work. She could brainstorm ideas of how to make her enemies suffer to her heart's content, and only afterwards did she have to think about the problems that could arise.
After studying the general design on the gingerbread box, she reached for a pencil and began to sketch. "Let me see…why not create a gingebread castle instead of a simple house? Something truly grand for such a…special…holiday." Something that she could see herself living in. She'd always wanted to live in a crumbling old castle.
"Tch. Who'd want to live in a gingerbread castle?" said Jecht.
After I put everyone else in this infernal town to sleep for a hundred years, I shall put a special curse on him that will force him to sleep for eternity. "Perhaps this exercise is not for you, Mr. Jecht. Why don't you run along and manage your inn? We'll be just fine without you."
The child seemed to find her dismissive attitude entertaining. "Yeah, Dad! Go manage the inn! We'll be just fine without you!" Ignorant boy, mimicking everything she said. Perhaps I ought to make him sleep for eternity as well.
Yet his enthusiasm was inexplicably starting to grow on her. It was almost amusing in its own way.
For the next several hours, she and Tidus worked hard on their design, while a montage of lighthearted, fast-paced Christmas songs played throughout. Maleficent wondered where the music was coming from until Tidus pointed out the speakers that had been set up in the hallways. "You had money for that, but not enough to give everyone their own phones?" Tidus shrugged.
As the scent of a roast beef dinner drifted through the air, Jecht came by to check on their progress. They'd finished piecing together the outer wall and courtyard and had just set to work on the base. "Wow. Looking good." He sounded sincerely impressed. Not that it mattered. Maleficent did not need his approval.
And yet she felt warm inside over such simple praise. Clearly, her scheme was working if she'd managed to charm him.
"See the drawbridge that we're building, Dad?" said Tidus. "Look, it really moves! Next we're going to add the armory, and some kitchens, and then we're going to work on the second floor, and that's going to be Santa's workshop…"
"You put an armory in Santa's workshop?" said Jecht, raising his eyebrows.
"It was Maleficent's idea! To protect Santa from ice monsters."
In actuality, it was a case of two different creative visions. Maleficent continued to base her design on the kind of castle where she wished to reside. It wasn't until they were neck-deep in the project when Tidus informed her that he was building a stable for the reindeer. She'd had to quickly create an excuse for the weapons that she'd added to what was now Santa's workshop.
"Alright. You can protect Santa from ice monsters later, boy. It's time for dinner."
Tidus groaned, but jumped off of his stool and headed into the dining room.
"I haven't seen him this lively in a while," Jecht noted. "Not since…well…since last Christmas..."
Maleficent made her best attempt to sound sympathetic. "Oh? What happened last Christmas?"
"Don't worry about it. You don't need to hear our sob stories," said Jecht. "Just glad to see that this Christmas hasn't been ruined for him. Thanks…and all that…"
She considered insisting on more details. It might make it easier to manipulate him in the future. Perhaps the boy's mother had passed away? But how? Maleficent supposed it could be any number of things: car accident, terminal illness, car accident in a snow storm…
The more she thought about it, the less she cared. "You are most welcome. And now, you say that dinner is prepared?"
Jecht shrugged in response and escorted her to the dining room, where the other hotel guests gathered around the table with Tidus. There was only one other couple currently staying at the inn, a pair of newly-weds excited to celebrate their first Christmas together.
"Hello!" The bride's golden hair swished around her shoulders as she rose gracefully to shake Maleficent's hand. "My name is Aurora! This is my husband, Philip. We're so terribly sorry to hear about your car."
Maleficent managed to fake another smile and a little laugh. "It was nothing. I will be back on the road in no time, I am sure."
"That's right. I've heard nothing but good things about Auron. He'll have you back on the road in no time," said Philip, as if Maleficent hadn't already said that last part. Oh heavens. Am I going to have to eat with these fools every night?
"Isn't this the most wonderful time of the year?" Aurora gushed. "And isn't it just the most wonderful little inn? My aunts were the ones who recommended it to us. They live right in the center of this town. They say they'll be judging the gingerbread contest this year too. Perhaps we should enter too, Philip? Do you think they'll let us?"
"I don't see why not. Although…" Her husband chuckled. "I can't picture your Aunt Merryweather judging a gingerbread house. It's not blue enough for her."
"And not pink enough for Aunt Flora."
For reasons that only they understood, this was hilarious. Maleficent pretended to laugh with them, all while quietly entertaining herself with visions of dragonfire chasing them from the inn.
Her eye caught Jecht's, and she realized that his laughter was equally forced. "So wonderful," he echoed Aurora, failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. She didn't seem to notice, and Tidus effectively changed the subject by telling them all about the gingerbread fortress.
"That's what we call an 'occupational hazzard.'"
Jecht approached Maleficent, standing on the veranda that wrapped around the inn. The young couple had gone outside to build a snowman, and Aurora continued to gush about how wonderful everything was. As Maleficent watched alongside Jecht, Aurora's husband spun her around like a ballet dancer performing "The Nutcracker." Snowflakes sparkled in her hair.
"We get them every season. They're starting to become the only customers we get," said Jecht.
"That young couple comes every season?" Maleficent shuddered. "Why here? Why not a more successful hotel?"
Jecht flashed air quotes. "Because 'it's so cute and cozy!' But I didn't mean they come every season. I mean their type. Honeymooners. They want a taste of going back to their roots, living off the land, being a part of history…and when that gets to be too much work and too uncomfortable, they come here instead."
"My, what an effective sales pitch," said Maleficent.
He laughed. "It's a headache for me, but if it gets people into the building, I guess I can't complain about it too much."
The happy couple finished building their snowman, then linked arms and went out for a self-guided tour of the neighborhood lights. Jecht stretched his arms over his head. HIs muscles rippled under the fabric. "Alright, I'm heading back in. You want some hot cocoa?"
"No, thank you. That drink is far too sweet for me."
"Suit yourself."
The door shut behind him. A light snow fell from the sky, only visible through the street lamps and the porch lights. With no one around, Maleficent trapped some of the flakes in her hands. They spun around and around, gradually attracting more flakes until they became a dense, packed ball. Once it was complete, Maleficent fired it directly at the snowman. It struck the chest portion with enough force to knock off the head.
Jecht's laughter rang out. She had not been as alone as she'd thought. "Don't worry. I'll say I was back in the kitchen when it happened."
She turned her head to the side and thought up a haughty insult that she could throw back at him. But Jecht threw first.
A snowball struck one of the horns on her headdress. She sputtered as it fell apart in her face. "Sorry!" he called out. "I was trying to get it through the gap in your horns!"
Fool. Idiot. Imbecile! And a terrible liar, on top of everything else. The snow under her feet steamed as Maleficent scooped up a pile of snow, formed it into a ball of her own, and let it fly. Jecht stepped to the side just in time and it hit the door instead.
No matter. She had a second ready to go, and this one did not miss. But rather than act insulted, he just laughed and reached for another.
Snowballs flew back and forth, harder and faster than the flakes could float down to provide ammunition to both sides. Maleficent's teeth ground together. To her, this was war. Every snowball that found its mark on her was an insult to her pride. To him, this was all just a game, albeit one that he didn't want to lose either.
The heat of battle made her feel warm in a way that she hadn't anticipated. There was something inexplicably attractive about his refusal to give up. Even more inexplicably, there was something attractive about his smug attitude. She wasn't sure if she wanted to knock the smile off of his face with another snowball or with a kiss.
"…I'll just be a second! Forgot my phone!"
Philip came around the corner just as Maleficent threw a snowball at Jecht's shoulder. He smiled warmly at the two of them. "You look like you're having fun!"
Maleficent scoffed. Her head held high, she retreated back to her room, stopping only to throw one last snowball at Jecht's back. This town was starting to get to her. The sooner she destroyed it, the better.
The next morning, Maleficent woke up to an unpleasant text.
"Your 'Sleeping Death Potion' has been delayed due to an increase in holiday shipping orders. Estimated date of delivery is now between 12/24 - 12/27. We are sorry for the inconvenience. While you wait for your delivery, please consider some of our other products! Extract of llama now on sale for just $19.99…"
Maleficent swatted the phone off of her bedstand in disgust.
Tidus waited for her at the bottom of the stairs. "Ready to finish our gingerbread castle?" he asked her.
"Yes, I suppose we shall," she sighed. It was about the only thing she could do at the moment.
The morning news cheered her up when a reporter announced a mysterious shortage in gingerbread kits had left the residents of Radiant Garden scrambling. At least one thing had gone right.
Or so she thought. When she and Tidus returned to their project, they found a significant number of kits missing. "Heeeeeey!" Tidus cried, gesturing to the far left corner of the room. "Where are the ones that are supposed to be over here?"
Aurora's cheerful voice sang out, "Good morning!" She and Philip wore matching ugly Christmas sweaters. "I am so terribly sorry that we didn't ask you first. But they were talking about canceling the contest altogether, and we knew that you had more kits than you could ever use. So, in the spirit of Christmas, Philip and I gave some away. Now the contest is no longer canceled!
Maleficent sank her fingernails into the table where they'd set up their unfinished display. "Oh. How. Lovely."
"Yeah! We get to be in the contest again!" Tidus cheered.
Another voice interrupted them all. "So - what? You stole from my kid and one of my other guests to keep the contest running?"
Jecht folded his arms over his chest. Maleficent smirked; it was such a delight to watch the Christmas heroes squirm. "We're very sorry. We were just trying to help the town keep Christmas alive," said Aurora.
"Yeah, whatever. Just don't touch my kid's things again. Or you can keep Christmas alive at some other inn."
Maleficent kept her laughter to herself - mostly to prevent the child from imitating her cackle - as she and Tidus returned to their work.
By nightfall, the fortress was finally complete. Just in time for everyone at the inn to head down to the tree lighting ceremony, as another round of flurries fell from the starry sky. A growing crowd gathered together in the town square, each holding a candle and a songbook. So many open flames near flammable material. It was a fire hazard that hardly needed her assistance, and so easy to make look like an accident.
It was more than a simple tree lighting. It was a small forest of trees that formed a labyrinth in the town square, each decorated according to a different decade in the town's history. The one dedicated to the year of the town's founding stood in the very center. Jecht, Tidus, and the others joined the assembly on the outer edge next to the trees from the 1940s. Maleficent pretended to follow them, then slipped back through the crowd toward the outer edges of the maze.
"O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree, how lovely are thy branches…"
"Not for long," Maleficent murmured, allowing herself one little snicker. She snapped her fingers and a little flame appeared in her hand.
"There you are!"
Jecht came around the corner. Maleficent extinguished the flame just before it touched the pine needles. "You hate the crowds too?"
"Yes." That was perfectly true, even if it wasn't her reason for leaving.
He nodded to the gate, where a few people had exited the town square for one reason or another. "Want to go for a walk?"
Maleficent allowed herself a little sigh. Perhaps it was best not to light up the trees when there were so many people crowding into its labyrinth. As badly as she wanted the title of "Mistress of All Evil," she didn't need to get it through a fiery massacre. Doofenschmirtz wouldn't care for that anyway. "Yes. Where did you want to go?"
"Oh, just around town," said Jecht, shrugging.
They meandered up and down streets with Christmas displays glowing in the windows, garland wrapped around landposts, and piles of snow on the curb. "So. Have you heard anything on your family's failing Christmas tree farm?" asked Jecht.
"My…ah, yes. No, I have not. I suppose they will just have to get along without me this year."
"I wouldn't say that yet. Auron told me this afternoon that he should have your car all fixed by Christmas Eve. You can hit the road as soon as he's ready and be home in time for Christmas."
"How wonderful." It was perfect timing. She could destroy the town and be out before mobs of their angry neighbors showed up.
And then…back to the city. Back to an office full of backstabbing employees and a boss more interested in his multiple backstories than giving her the promotion that she deserved. And her fiancé, the one she hadn't thought about much since arriving in Radiant Garden. She liked that life. It was a good life. Maybe not a good life, but a life well-suited for her.
"Tell me, Jecht," she said, as they passed a display of Christmas cookie cutters, "What will you do with your inn when the holiday rush is over? What does this town do?"
Jecht thought it over. He paused in front of a toy train circling a Christmas tree made of wooden blocks. "Get ready for next season," he answered. "It's a cycle. You prep for all of this…" He gestured to the holiday decorations. "…Then you wait for it to calm down and start all over again."
"That sounds quite draining."
Jecht laughed. "I guess it is. What I wouldn't give to get out of this stupid town. But I'm stuck here."
"Stuck? How could you be stuck?" Maleficent had always been told that the people in Radiant Garden had no desire to leave.
"I've got the kid to think about it. And…well…I can't leave the inn."
Strangely enough, she knew the feeling. Not about feeling stuck in a small town, but feeling stuck in general. Though it was hard to imagine a man such as Jecht experiencing such emotions.
She scoffed. "I don't know why you would worry about the child. He strikes me as someone who would be happy wherever you put him. If you don't like where you are, change it. Leave the inn under someone else's care. It's that simple."
"That simple, huh?" Jecht chuckled. "I used to think like you. Me, Auron, and our buddy, Braska, we used to take the wildest cross-country road trips. You wouldn't believe the trouble we used to get into. But then Braska decided he had enough. Settled down, started this inn to welcome other people on the road. Then, last Christmas, he passed away and left the inn to me."
So that was the "last Christmas" that he'd referenced so mysteriously. Maleficent lowered her voice to appear sympathetic. "Oh. How terrible. I am sorry for your loss."
"Yeah, well, it made me realize that there are more important things in life, and sometimes you have to, well…" He stuttered and seemed to lose his train of thought. "Whatever. I'm no good at these sentimental-type speeches. Point is, I changed."
"Then change again."
"Oh yeah, you're the one I should be taking advice from on that, flying home to save the family farm. You couldn't stay away from it, could you?"
Maleficent did not like the way he said that - as if he knew that the whole story was a pretty lie. She would not grant him the satisfaction to know that he was right. And where would be the fun in that, anyhow? If he wanted the truth, he would have to prove it to her first.
"No. I suppose I just couldn't."
"That farm must mean a lot to you."
Maleficent lifted her head. "Yes. So much so that I'd rather not talk about it. Personal business is personal, after all."
She quickened her strides, leaving him behind in the snow. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smirk. Perhaps he was enjoying their little game too.
Over the next few days, the game progressed. He attempted to trip her up by asking her questions about her past at the most unexpected moments. She spent much of her spare time weaving elaborate stories with such detail that he would have no room for doubt.
At night, when the mood struck her, Maleficent checked her phone for messages from Hades. She thought he might enjoy all of the ridiculous stories that she'd regaled to the hotel guests that day. But he never called, and rarely picked up when she did. And when they did talk, the conversation revolved entirely around whatever his arch-enemy, Hercules, had done to unintentionally insult Hades that day.
Meanwhile, Tidus remained ignorant of Maleficent's sparring with his father. He was too excited over the results of the gingerbread contest and the upcoming disaster that was the town Christmas pageant. All day long, he shouted his lines from room to room. Maleficent was sick of hearing the Wise Men ask for directions to Bethlehem.
And then, two days before Christmas Eve, she found a pair of ear buds on her bed. Jecht passed her in the hallway and gestured to his own ears. "So you don't have to keep listening to the story of the Wise Men's road trip."
She tittered. But inside, she felt slightly irritated. The ear buds were a gift beyond measure, which meant that she now owed Jecht a gift. As if she had any idea what that man would want.
He did say he felt trapped. Perhaps he needed some inspiration.
A few hours and one trip to a quaint local bookstore later, Maleficent heard a confused exclamation from Jecht's room. Then he burst out laughing over the travel guide that she'd left on his bed.
Yet, like all games, it had to come to an end eventually.
Christmas Eve had arrived. Schools were closed, and businesses were closing early. Everyone wanted to see the winner of the gingerbread contest, and then the Christmas pageant. Maleficent had no desire to see the pageant, but she had to admit to herself that she was slightly curious of how the contest had turned out. Surely, the judges couldn't be thinking of picking any other creation but her own - hers and the child's.
And indeed, their gingerbread fortress was on display in the very center of the school gymnasium. Their masterpiece was flanked by little frosted cottages made by children and their families, some in perfect condition and some on the verge of collapse.
Aurora and Philip had put together their own house with a mill wheel spinning over a licorice river. Based on the other materials, they'd clearly swiped a few more kits from Maleficent's room.
"It's gonna be us, right?" said Tidus. "They can't pick anyone else!"
"If they pick that snippy little Aurora, I shall turn her into a flower and then send in a frost," Maleficent replied.
"Huh?"
"Never mind."
Three old ladies - each with their own colored apron of pink, green, and blue - called for everyone's attention. "Fauna, Merryweather, and I would just like to thank all of the good people who participated in the contest this year," said the woman dressed in pink. Polite applause filled the gymnasium.
"If we could," added the one in green, who went by Fauna, "We would declare all of you winners!" Maleficent swallowed the nausea from hearing such sickly sweet words.
"But there can be only one, dear," said the first. "And so, it is with great pleasure that I announce the winner of this year's Radiant Garden Gingerbread Contest! And that someone is…"
Tidus held his breath and crossed his fingers.
Suddenly, the doors of the gym opened. "Sorry!" cried a stranger, dressed in a mailman's uniform and carrying a package. "I've got a delivery to make, and the instructions said to hand it to Maleficent personally. I asked around town, and they said she should be at the contest. Is there a Maleficent here?"
The package under his arm was clearly marked: DOOFENSCHMIRTZ EVIL INC.
Maleficent hurried over to intercept the delivery man before he made it all the way across the gym in full view of the attendees. Wisps of smoke curled around her fingertips, a warning of the flames that could come if she didn't keep her temper in check. How could it come today, and now? The day of all days and the time of all times?!
"Thank you," she muttered. "I will take it."
"What is it?" asked Tidus. He'd jumped up and followed after her. "Is that a present for me? What does it say?" As he looked at the label on the box, he frowned. "Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc.? Why would you order something from Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc.?"
Shocked cries echoed all over the room.
"Maleficent?" Jecht appeared on her other side. "What's going on?"
"It is a personal matter. Nothing to do with you. A gift from a friend in Danville. They must have used an old box…"
She made an attempt to leave, but Tidus yanked the box out from under her arm and ripped it open with a strength that she never would have expected from such a young child. "It's…" He pulled back the packaging wrap. "…it's…a Sleeping Death potion…?"
The gymnasium was now silent. Deadly silent.
"Oh, hey, look, there's a card too!" Tidus flipped it open. "To Maleficent…best of luck with putting the whole town to sleep…this is sure to be the greatest evil scheme you've ever concocted…from your boss, Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz…?"
Her face - it was burning. She had never felt such a sensation before. That imbecile. That complete and utter imbecile. To think that he was the head of a company that specialized in evil. He was a disgrace to the name of evil.
"You were going to poison the whole town?" exclaimed Jecht. "You were going to poison us?"
"No way," said Tidus. "That's not true, right, Maleficent? You like us! Don't you…?"
Maleficent gnashed her teeth together. "I assure you, it is not what it looks like."
"Really? Because I think it's exactly what it looks like," growled Jecht.
"I knew it all along," said Philip, holding his precious Aurora close to him. "You never appreciated the spirit of Christmas!"
Maleficent rolled her eyes. "If you knew it all along, why are you only saying something now?"
Jecht's mouth twitched. But his eyes remained on the incriminating potion in his son's hands. "Auron should have your car finished by now," he said, his voice growing lower with each word. "I think you should leave."
"Do you?" Maleficent sneered. "Do you?" A green aura shone around her body, one that matched the greenery along the walls. But there was nothing holly or jolly about her magic. "I need no potion to curse you all!" she shouted. Her voice echoed from the high ceiling to the stacked bleachers. "I should have done this from the moment I set foot in your pathetic town!"
Smoke spread out from underneath her robes. The townspeople cried out and hovered behind their sugary creations. Maleficent rose into the air. Her staff formed in her hands. "Now you shall deal with me, o little town of Radiant Garden, AND ALL THE POWERS OF HE…LL…"
Her eyes fell on Tidus and Jecht. The arrogant innkeeper shielded the boy, who cowered next to the gingerbread fortress that he so cheerfully helped her build.
It wouldn't matter anyway, no matter what she did. She could see it now. She was never going to get that promotion from Doofenschmirtz.
With a snap of her fingers - and one last evil cackle for good measure - she teleported away from the gym and landed outside Auron's auto-shop. Just as Jecht said, her car was done. She drove off into the night and never looked back.
"Come now, angel fish. Whatever is the matter?"
Maleficent sat in the employee break room with Ursula on one side and Yzma on the other.
"Isn't it obvious?" Yzma scoffed. "That fool, Heinz Doofenschmirtz, stepped in and ruined Christmas for her. Sometimes I think he's worse than Kronk!"
No one could ever be worse than Kronk. But Maleficent appreciated the sympathy all the same.
"You're not wearing your engagement ring anymore, I see." The catty voice of Drizella Tremaine called out from the microwave. As if she were any better off.
"Yes, that's right. I chose to end it with Hades." Maleficent sipped some tea, the picture of a nonchalant woman, not at all upset by the mess that her life had become. "If he couldn't be bothered to cater to my every whim, then I couldn't be bothered with him."
"Well said, sweetie," said Ursula.
Drizella sniffed. "Don't think you're fooling anyone here, Maleficent. We all know how badly you failed at your last assignment." With that blistering insult delivered, she strode back to her desk.
Maleficent went back to her tea. After returning to Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc., she had given her boss an earful. That, more than anything else, had led to her demotion. He hadn't understood why she'd given up so quickly after her ruse was discovered. Surely, she could have poured the potion into the town's water supply, and they would have no choice but to consume it? Or she could created some kind of "inator" with the gingerbread houses. There was no reason to retreat.
She knew all of that. That was what frustrated her the most. There was no reason why she couldn't have done all of those things. And yet she'd left without leaving so much as a scratch on the townsfolk. Why?
She had never even learned who won the gingerbread contest.
Not that it mattered. But she would like to have heard that she won something before the night ended so spectacularly.
"Maleficent," said Yzma. "I know I've said this to you over and over again, but why are you still here?"
Maleficent had been wondering that herself.
"You are the Mistress of All Evil. Even I can see that. If Doofenschmirtz can't, then you shouldn't waste your time trying to convince him."
"Then what would you suggest, Yzma?" asked Maleficent.
"Me? If it were me, I'd turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'd put that flea inside of a box…"
"Oh, dear, not this idea again," Ursula groaned into her poison apple latte.
Maleficent tuned her out as well. That would never work. Perhaps she needed to quit the business. Start her own company. Maybe…yes…that idea had promise…
"…AND THEN SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!" Yzma brought both fists down on the table and sent the silverware flying.
Maleficent continued to ignore her. Yes. There was definitely something there. It would take time, but she had no doubt that one day she could surpass Dr. Doofenschmirtz in the business of evil.
Yet, when she imagined herself in such a glorious future, something still felt missing.
What that "something" was became apparent when she left at the end of the workday. Jecht waited in the foyer of Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc.
He did not smile, and she did not coax him to try with one of her own. Instead, he held up a medal and a certificate. "You won. My kid didn't want them. So…here. Take them."
Maleficent flipped the medal around in the palm of her hand. It was just like any other medal, except for the engraving of a gingerbread man on one side.
"What do I care for some cheap trinket like this?"
"Tch." Jecht snatched the medal back from her. "That's what I thought you'd say. But the kid didn't want to believe it."
Perhaps it was due to pettiness, but she snatched the medal back. "I never said I didn't want it. I merely asked why you thought I would care for it."
Jecht shook his head. "Boy, you are a piece of work, you know that?"
"Hmph. I could say the same of you."
"Me? I'm not the one who tried to poison an entire town. I've done some things I regret, but somehow that wasn't one of them."
Her blood boiled. How dare he attempt to make her feel guilty simply for doing a good job on her assignment? "I can honestly say I have never regretted doing that either."
"Ohhhh, aren't you hilarious?" Jecht scowled. "Hope your new boss liked your sense of humor when you got promoted."
"I didn't get promoted!"
Everyone in the foyer stopped what they were doing, if only for half a minute, just to hear what the strange woman was shouting about. Jecht, for his part, looked startled. "No promotion?"
Maleficent smiled through gritted teeth. "No promotion. I did receive a demotion."
"Why?" he asked, sounding thoroughly baffled. "You were supposed to mess up Christmas for our town. I'd say you messed it up pretty good."
"But I left in the middle of the job," she explained. "You found out who I was, and I left. Neither of those things were supposed to happen until the job was complete."
Jecht nodded. "Since we're talking about this, there's something that I've been wanting to ask."
She waited for him to continue. This could be interesting.
"Why did you leave in the middle of the job? You looked like you were about to hex us all, and then you suddenly vanished. I thought your evil boss called you back or something. But now it's sounding like you left yourself."
So he'd noticed. How embarrassing.
Maleficent considered the question. It didn't take long. She'd been considering it every day since she returned to Danville. "I suppose I didn't see the point in causing any more damage to you and that stupid little town."
Jecht leaned against a street light. A smirk suddenly appeared. "Because you changed. You actually like us now."
Maleficent flushed. "I never said that."
"You didn't have to." The betrayal no longer seemed to matter. He was back to teasing her again. "Wow, don't tell me you actually like Christmas now too?"
"Oh, begone." Maleficent turned on her heels and stalked back towards Doofenschmirtz Evil Inc. "I have a career to get back to!"
"What career?" he yelled back. "Your boss doesn't respect you. You never seem to have any time for fun. What if you quit your job and came back to us?"
Maleficent sniffed. "I could never do that."
"But if you don't like where you've ended up…" Jecht did a wretched impression of her elegant voice. "…Then change it. It's as simple as that."
But was it that simple?
Maleficent hated having her own words thrown back into her face. Perhaps she ought to take up his stupid challenge, just to prove him wrong.
But he was using her own words to make a point. If he was wrong, then so was she.
This was so very confusing.
While she mulled it over, Ursula came out. "There you are, sweetie. Dr. Doofenschmirtz wants to see you again in his office."
Perfect. An excuse to leave an awkward situation. Maleficent followed her back inside, leaving Jecht behind in the snow.
Dr. Doofenschmirtz scratched the back of his head. "Look…Maleficent…it's like this…" He knocked a plate of gingerbread cookies into the trash. "You know how I feel about Christmas. And I was really hoping you would change that. But when I heard what you did to Radiant Garden…well, I didn't love it. But I didn't hate it either. And that's exactly how I feel about Christmas. You didn't change anything."
In other words, she had failed miserably.
"So I lashed out a bit, and I gave you a demotion that you didn't deserve…and…" He swallowed. "I'm sorry about that. You're one of my best employees. You make evil look good. Well, not 'good' as in actually good, but you get what I mean, don't you?"
Another pause followed. This was its own form of torture. Why couldn't he simply get to the point?
"So, I'd like to do more than give you your old job back. I'd like to give you a title you've deserved for a long time. How would you like to be the new Mistress of All Evil?"
Maleficent felt just as speechless as she had when her boss first told her that he felt apathetic towards Christmas.
This was it. The very thing that she'd always wanted.
And yet, what a pathetic way to get it. She hadn't really earned it in his eyes. He just felt guilty. Her life's dream, a consolation prize.
She considered casting a curse on him, but as she did so, one of her hands brushed up against the gingerbread contest medal. And she knew what she needed to do.
"Keep your title," she told him, sweeping her robes out and catching him in the face as she turned her back on the job. "I will start my own Evil Incorporated. It will not take long to surpass yours."
Two Months Later…
The Radiant Garden Hometown Inn was decorated in hearts for Valentine's Day. But it was no longer being run by Jecht and Tidus. Aurora and Philip had taken over management, and business was better than it had ever been.
Back in Danville, Maleficent had set up shop on the other side of town. Maleficent's Evil Inc. had already attracted quite a bit of buzz. So far, it only had three employees, besides the boss herself: Ursula, Yzma, and a certain rugged, former innkeeper. But a few other friends from Doofenschmirtz' business had expressed some interest in switching companies. Even Hades. Their first product, the Snowman-inator, would be heading to market soon. Guaranteed to create an army of Frostys that could take over any tri-state area.
Jecht made it clear that he and Tidus were only sticking around to keep her out of trouble. But he and Maleficent both knew that was impossible. For someone who wasn't planning to stay long, he'd chosen a very prominent spot for the gingerbread fortress in the lobby. It had been enchanted so that it would never fall apart or be eaten.
Though nobody saved Christmas that year, there had been no need to save it from ruin either. Overall, they all agreed that it hadn't been half-bad.