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Later the same evening when Blaine remembered everything, after tears and reunion kisses and a ton of makeup sex, Blaine lay across Sebastian’s chest. For once, Sebastian was thankful that his roommate was gone and was going to be gone for what seemed to be the remainder of the night. Hunter had texted Sebastian, told him that if he needed someone to talk to, Hunter would come back, but Sebastian didn’t need him. Blood was flowing through his veins freely and he had never felt so alive.
Blaine traced a lazy hand up Sebastian’s chest. His fingertips left goosebumps in their wake. Sebastian could feel Blaine’s eyelashes flutter against his skin, was acutely aware of every single point where their skin was touching each other’s, could feel the heat radiating from Blaine’s body to his under the blanket. Blaine adjusted so that his head was nuzzling closer to Sebastian’s chest as he pressed a lazy kiss to the skin there. For a while, neither of them said anything. The silence was nice, after the activities of just moments previous. It quieted the thoughts that had been running through Sebastian’s mind since the night of the accident. The silence was a welcomed oasis from those thoughts.
Sebastian wasn’t sure how much time passed between this silence and their next conversation, but eventually Blaine’s voice broke through the quiet. “When did you remember?” He asked, his voice suddenly soft and cautious. He didn’t look up at Sebastian, instead letting his head rest against the skin of his chest.
“When did I remember what?” Sebastian asked, tracing a lazy hand through Blaine’s hair. When Blaine didn’t answer right away, Sebastian decided to take a random shot in the dark. “When did I remember you?”
“Yeah,” Blaine answered softly, barely able to be heard as he spoke against Sebastian’s chest.
Sebastian took a second to consider the answer, and then another second to consider how to phrase it. Then he remembered this was Blaine he was talking to, there was never any need to dance around him. “Right away.”
Blaine didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he propped himself up on his elbows to look up at Sebastian. Sebastian looked back down at him through eyes made lazy with lust and sleep exhaustion from what they’d been up to. He squeezed his eyes shut harshly for a few seconds in an attempt to regain blood flow to them. “You knew as soon as you woke up?” Blaine asked. His voice sounded twinged with sadness. Sebastian nodded softly. He reached out to grab Blaine’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Blaine looked down at their combined hands before he softly asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sebastian was suddenly brought back to the day in the hospital when he was told the dreaded news by the doctor. “Blaine can’t remember anything before the accident. Including you.” “At first I was scared shitless,” Sebastian answered with a small laugh. Blaine gave a soft laugh back. “And then I talked to your mom. She said she didn’t want you to know anything about your past life. She said it might overwhelm you to know that you had someone like me that you couldn’t remember. You know,” Sebastian’s tone went teasing as he smiled at his boyfriend. “Because you’re so emotional and shit.”
“Oh stop,” Blaine reprimanded. He lightly pinched Sebastian’s side with another soft laugh. Sebastian laughed in return, relishing in the feeling and the sound of Blaine’s laugh in his ears. God, he had missed it so much.
“So yeah,” Sebastian finished in a way that was very stereotypical of a teenager. “I was a good boy, believe it or not.” Blaine rolled his eyes fondly at Sebastian’s teasing smirk. “I didn’t tell.”
Blaine seemed to take a second to take this information in. Sebastian knew that even know, even though he could remember that life that he lived before the accident, the entire thing must have been incredibly overwhelming for him. Sebastian couldn’t even begin to understand how he must have been feeling. “Okay,” Blaine said after a while. He let his head fall back against Sebastian’s chest and the two of them were again lulled into the silence of normalcy. Then, as if he had been jump started from a bad dream, he jolted up with a gasp. “Kurt!” He said quickly. The name was piercing to Sebastian’s ears, as if he’d been stabbed by a tiny shard of glass and was now bleeding. “I completely forgot about him!” Then, as if upon second thought, he gasped again. He looked back at Sebastian. “Did he know?”
“About the accident?” Sebastian asked. Blaine nodded quickly and Sebastian snorted a laugh in reply. “Yeah. There’s not a person in Dalton who doesn’t know about the accident.”
“That bastard!” Blaine swore quickly. His cheeks turned red as he wasn’t used to swearing, but it didn’t take away from the strength posed behind the words. Blaine brought a hand to Sebastian’s cheek and let his thumb glide along the skin there. It was an incredibly intimate gesture that would have felt really wrong coming from someone other than Blaine. As it was, the heat of Blaine’s hand against his skin felt so incredibly right. “How could he do this to you?”
Sebastian grabbed Blaine’s hand from his cheek and instead inclosed it in between two of his own. “I always told you, hobbit.” Somehow, between the two of them, this was a loving nickname. “That kid always had it out for me. No idea why.” Then, after a second of biting his tongue, he added, “though I hate him because he looks like a older version of Betty White.”
Blaine snorted out a laugh at the answer, though it seemed halfhearted. He pressed a gentle kiss to Sebastian’s lips. “Oh, meerkat,” again, this had somehow become a loving nickname between the two of them, “I’m so sorry. This entire thing must have been so incredibly hard on you.”
“It’s fine,” Sebastian replied softly. Blaine still looked unconvinced, though. Sebastian laughed softly at how adorable it was, Blaine’s sudden concern for him. He took Blaine’s hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I swear, B, it’s all okay now. You wanna know why?”
Blaine gave Sebastian a small smile. “Yeah,” he answered softly. “Tell me why.”
“Because,” Sebastian started. He shifted a bit so that he was sitting up, which forced Blaine up from his chest and instead rolled his boyfriend to his side, propped up on his elbows. “Now I get to do this,” and with that, Sebastian was pulling Blaine into a gentle kiss. Blaine shifted a bit so that he could move his legs freely. He swung one of his legs over Sebastian’s hips, effectively straddling him as they continued to kiss. Sebastian moved his hand to the nape of Blaine’s neck, ran his fingers through the hair there, and pulled Blaine closer so that he was leaning over Sebastian more.
Kissing Blaine would always probably be something that was impossible to describe for Sebastian. There was something about it that was somehow new, yet familiar every time their lips came together. It was like an old pleasure, like that movie that you could watch a million times and yet never get sick of it, like the song that you sang along to no matter how many times you heard it, like your favorite food, like going to a bakery in France with his mother when they got the chance and trying one of the pastries, the feeling bringing him back to his childhood. Kissing Blaine was like all of those things, but ten times better.
Also, Sebastian thought as Blaine gently parted his lips with his tounge, kissing Blaine was new every single time. There was a spark between them, but unlike the sudden jolt of electricity he would get with strangers at Scandals, it was a fire, burning deep inside of him and leaving him with a feeling that would stay with him and leave him warm and full for days to come. Kissing Blaine was like tasting your favorite food for the first time, like being in the audience to see your favorite band live in concert when they would play that first opening song, like watching a movie that’s so good that it leaves you hanging on the edge of your seat, like being at a carnival at night when the Ferris wheel reaches the top. Kissing Blaine was somehow always new and exciting and left a humming sensation that went through Sebastian’s whole body.
The kiss went on for a while. Sebastian let his hand travel upon Blaine’s back, touching the skin there. It had been so long since he’d had Blaine’s skin under his hand, and it was just as amazing as he remembered, warm and soft in all the right places. The other hand stayed raveled in Blaine’s hair, which had gone curly with the heat of the room and the heat from each other. One of Blaine’s hands was placed on Sebastian’s cheek, softly caressing the skin there in a sharp and intimate contrast to their skin, which was hot and fast and rough, everything good long kisses should be. The other hand had made its way up Sebastian’s shirt and was laying against his stomach, just kind of resting there. Blaine’s hands were a little cold, but the contrast just made everything more appealing and intense for Sebastian.
The two of them kissed like it was a battle, like there was something to be gained from it. They moved against each other like two warriors on opposing sides of a conflict, each defending their bodies from each other but slowly giving in. Their tongues searched the inside of each other’s mouths in a way that should have been kind of disgusting, but was honestly really hot and just added a layer of intimacy to the entire thing.
One thing that Sebastian had learned from kissing alot (and by a lot he meant a lot ) of boys was that romance movies were bullshit. In all of these romance movies and books written for thirteen year olds by thirteen year olds, everyone had a specific taste to them, something beautiful and hypnotizing like an invisible aphrodisiac of saliva. This, of course, was total bullshit. There was no magical flavor to be found on the inside of another person’s mouth. Boys tasted like hot wings or shots of hard whisky, or maybe a tacky breath mint if they had been so kind as to think ahead. But somehow, even though Blaine did taste like the copious amounts of mint flavored toothpaste he used, he also tasted of something so distinctly Blaine that it was mouthwatering, that it left Sebastian dizzy and reaching for more and more and more.
Eventually, Sebastian pulled away to pepper kisses down Blaine’s neck. He sat up, effectively forcing Blaine up and into his lap. Blaine became compliant and utterly melted under the force of Sebastian’s lips and tongue on his neck. If there was one thing that Sebastian knew about Blaine Anderson, it was that he loved having his neck kissed. And if he left a few hickeys just to stick it to Kurt the next time Blaine saw him, well, who was to judge him?
“Wait, wait, Sebastian,” Blaine said softly. Sebastian stopped immediately. He let his head rest against the crook of Blaine’s neck and his eyelashes fluttered against the skin there as he looked up at Blaine. He could feel Blaine shudder softly at the sensation.
“What’s up, killer?” Sebastian asked softly. He could see Blaine’s skin turn a bright red at the petname. It had always been one of Blaine’s favorites, and since it so easily turned him on, it quickly became one of Sebastian’s as well. “Too sore? I get it. We don’t have to do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. Everything’s up to you, babe.”
“No, it’s not that,” Blaine answered breathlessly. He took a second to compose his breathing (and fuck , the idea that he had gotten Blaine that worked up was an ego stroke if Sebastian had ever had one.) Sebastian sat back against the bed to look at Blaine, still perched in his lap. Blaine ran a hand through his hair as he looked Sebastian over. “Fuck, trust me, I definitely want to.” Sebastian chuckled softly at the admission and gestured for Blaine to go on. “It’s just,” Blaine laughed, which was something he tended to do when he was nervous. “You wanted to tell me something, that day on the beach.” He looked over at Sebastian with wide eyes, curious, searching, trusting. “What was it?”
Sebastian suddenly felt a new wave of anxiety go through him. It was like being back on that beach again, except this time he had no speech prepared and they were two changed people. What if Blaine didn’t feel the same way? What if, to him, all of this was just a one time fuck, he wanted to be with Hummel because they had fallen in love and Sebastian was no longer in the picture? What if he completely hated Sebastian, as so many people did (kind of what happens when you have the reputation of being a dick) and he was just in this to get laid?
But then he looked at Blaine. Blaine, completely naked on his lap save for the pair of boxers slung low around his hips, skin flushed red because of Sebastian, neck and chest littered with hickies marking him as Sebastian’s only. His lips were red and swollen, glistening with their combined saliva (again, should have been gross, was totally hot). His eyes were blown wide, concerned, confused maybe, but so loving and trusting and caring. He just wanted what was best for Sebastian. He was the one person in the whole world who just wanted to see Sebastian have the best. How could he lie to someone like that?
Sebastian grabbed both of Blaine’s hands and let his thumb trace the skin there. Blaine looked at him with a piqued interest. It brought Sebastian scarily close to that day at the beach, to waves crashing at their feet and falling around them, to the wind in their hair and sea salt in their lungs. He remembered his speech, but it all seemed so arbitrary now. “And I just wanted to say,” he’d lead the last time. “I love you.”
Blaine gasped softly, as if all of the air had been pulled from his lungs. There was a silence that hung heavy between them for a split second, and for that split second, Sebastian felt as though all of his worst fears had been confirmed, that Blaine did hate him after all, that Blaine wanted nothing to do with him, that Blaine didn’t feel the same way, no longer returned the sentiment or, worst of all, that he was in love with Kurt and Sebastian was doing the exact kind of thing that he hated Kurt for doing to Blaine.
But Blaine broke through all of that self-hatred with a soft “oh.” He was pulling Sebastian into his arms then, a kind of awkward hug considering the fact that Blaine was still sitting in his lap and they couldn’t really get a good angle, but it was a hug that Sebastian melted into nonetheless. He could never say this out loud, of course, but he really would be content to spend an entire day wrapped up in Blaine’s arms and doing nothing more than talking to his boyfriend, running a hand through his hair, feeling his soft curls and his sleep stricken smile.
“Bas,” Blaine said softly, reverently, the name falling from his lips in a way that Sebastian hadn’t heard in so long and treasured so dearly in his heart. “Bas, I love you too.” The confession brought a sudden relief over Sebastian. Somewhere in his heart, he felt his chest puff up a little bit. Everything worked out in the end. He was the one who ended up victorious, not Kurt Hummel. At the end of his own twisted, Nicholas Sparks parody novel, he was the one who got the guy. Everything would be okay as long as he had Blaine.
And somehow, Sebastian knew that would be true. Even though he knew that Blaine was going to go to New York and have his dreams at NYADA, and Sebastian would go to NYU, they would have each other. Sure, New York would be big and scary, full of people they don’t know and events that they’re unfamiliar with, but they would always be able to find comfort and familiarity in each other. There would be ups and downs and twists and turns in their live, Sebastian was sure that between the two of them there would be more tragedies that resembled shitty Nicholas Sparks novels and more joys that resembled the resolutions of lifetime movies, but in the end it wouldn’t even matter. In the end, all that would matter was Blaine and Sebastian and the love that they shared,this little corner of happiness that they had carved for themselves in a world and a lifetime of shitty darkness. Sebastian could have laughed at the thought. His internal monologue really did sound like the synopsis of a bad romance movie.
Sebastian smiled up at Blaine and Blaine smiled back at him. The simple gesture was enough. “I love you,” Blaine whispered again. Sebastian didn’t reply, but Blaine knew. Sebastian knew that Blaine knew. Finally, they both knew something. And finally, just knowing and remembering was enough. At least for now.
Sebastian moved his hand back to play with the hair at the back of Blaine’s neck. Blaine turned red under the touch as he moved to run a hand through Sebastian’s hair. Neither of them spoke, but neither of them needed to. They would have time to talk later. Now was just a time to enjoy feeling. They smiled at each other again, real, genuine smiles.
And Sebastian brought Blaine down for another longing kiss.