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“What’s this?”
Upon hearing Alhaitham’s voice, Kaveh couldn’t help but look up from the festive cookies he was snacking on.
Alhaitham was staring at a thin rectangle, covered (poorly) in striped wrapping paper.
Kaveh smiled as he watched Alhaitham. Kaveh had a feeling he knew what Alhaitham was thinking. Alhaitham wasn’t a holiday person, but Kaveh wouldn’t budge on celebrating in this house.
The Snowy Holidays that originated in Mondstadt and Snezhnaya realistically couldn’t have the same aesthetic in Sumeru, given the deep heat of the jungle and the scalding sands of the desert, but the act of wrapping and giving gifts quickly took spark in the main city after its introduction.
It had been a year ago, Kaveh remembered, that Traveller and Paimon had just made casual mention of the festival while wandering through. In true Sumeru fashion, everyone had come together around those two and decided Christmas would be an annual thing.
Now, Kaveh wore a red Santa hat, lopsided on his head for aesthetic, and stared at the Grinch Himself.
Alhaitham stared back.
Kaveh still remembered their conversation from last year—
“What even is Santa?” Alhaitham had muttered.
“It’s some kind of Snezhnayan creature?” Tighnari had been flipping through books. “I’ll have to do more research. We don’t have a lot of information about it.”
“Hm.” Cyno had tilted his head. “Don’t – cryo – about it.” He had looked around, waiting. Waiting. Waiting. “Get it?”
“It doesn’t matter what it is!” Kaveh had insisted with his hand forming a fist close to his heart. “It’s fun!”
Alhaitham in the present only stared at the gift. Alhaitham had always been on a different frequency than the rest of them, and sometimes Kaveh felt bad about it—but other times it was infuriating. “It’s thin,” Alhaitham muttered. He wiggled it between two hands. “Flimsy.” He tilted his head. “It’s something you made yourself.”
“Maybe!” Kaveh showed teeth. “It’s supposed to be a mystery! Don’t ruin Christmas!”
“A coupon you made yourself,” Alhaitham guessed. “You want to improve my earpieces.”
“Tch!” Kaveh felt a jolt of electro hit his spine. “N-No!”
Mehrak floated in their living room, giving a happy beep!
Kaveh spun around. “Mehrak! Don’t give it away!”
“I don’t understand.” Alhaitham frowned. “If the gifts are supposed to be from Santa Claus, why are you getting me one?”
“I don’t get it either,” Kaveh admitted. He took a deep breath and took a few steps closer to his roommate. Roommate… because friend wasn’t quite right anymore. Not since… “But I got you something because I wanted to. No other reason!” He huffed. “I guess holidays just bring out feelings or something!”
Alhaitham looked at the wrapped gift and stooped down to carefully put it back under the tree Kaveh had decorated. Alhaitham straightened his back and didn’t even bother turning to look at Kaveh. “We don’t need to exchange gifts.”
Kaveh huffed, crossing his arms. “You’re no fun at all!”
“Hm.” Alhaitham looked over his shoulder. “I don’t need or want anything. You’ll be disappointed you can’t find anything for me I actually want.”
“Ugh! And what about you, huh? Are you a master of gifts!? What are you going to get me?”
“One-month free rent.”
Kaveh’s arms broke apart and his eyes widened with a gasp. “Wait, really!?”
Alhaitham’s expression barely shifted. If Kaveh hadn’t had degree after degree in studying Alhaitham’s face, he would’ve missed the world’s smallest upward curve at the corner of Alhaitham’s mouth.
“Agh!” Kaveh felt the rush of heat to his cheeks, burning sensation. Caught. Seen. Perceived too well. “Sh-Shush, you! You better get me something nice!”
“Something romantic?”
“Wha—” Kaveh’s eyes widened. “What?”
Alhaitham looked away and brought a hand to his earpiece, clicking it on.
“Hey! Don’t silence me!” Kaveh barked before recoiling, hugging himself and turning away. “I know that thing’s broken, by the way. That’s why I’m offering to fix it.”
Alhaitham made a show of pretending not to hear Kaveh’s frequency, but that slight wince was the proof Kaveh needed: Alhaitham’s earpieces weren’t working, and Kaveh would fix them – one way or another.
⠇ ⠇ ⠇
That wince—
Kaveh remembered the old days, Akademiya days—
Both of them clad in uniforms, bright eyes, unmarred by betrayal, loss, self-hatred, and all the other ingredients that marked their coming of age—
Kaveh had been a shining student.
He didn’t mind one bit that he was doing his project with a partner that was younger than him.
Kaveh’s red eyes drifted over.
Many of the students were lined up as they were being given yet another scolding about not returning the books where they were supposed to. Neither Kaveh nor Alhaitham were part of the guilty party—and Kaveh was sure many of the students getting chastised now were innocent as well—but the poor librarian had had enough and was determined to give misery company.
Alhaitham winced.
Kaveh watched him.
Not once, not twice—it was like his mind was going through a cheese grater, and Alhaitham was doing his best to not let it show.
As soon as the admonishing speech was over, Kaveh moved.
Alhaitham had already stormed off.
Kaveh followed.
Alhaitham found an empty office and stepped in. He was about to slam the door closed, but paused.
Kaveh slipped in just in time. “…Haitham?”
Alhaitham, gently, closed the door. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath.
Kaveh watched him, saying nothing.
“Loud,” Alhaitham finally responded after what seemed like a minute. “They all… talk so much. Sounds. Clicking pens. Closing books.” He shook his head. “Can’t think.”
Kaveh looked at him and just nodded. He didn’t say anything.
And when Alhaitham seemed to curl in on himself, neither of them were sure how Alhaitham’s forehead ended up on Kaveh’s shoulder, but it did.
Kaveh smiled softly.
⠇ ⠇ ⠇
“As Acting Grand Sage—!”
“Acting Grand Sage—!”
“Acting—!”
Prior to Alhaitham resigning from his position, when Kaveh had still insisted the whole thing was a sham, Kaveh had come to the Akademiya to see for himself. He had indeed seen Alhaitham in the role that he couldn’t possibly be in, but…
He had also seen that wince.
Kaveh moved.
One of the Matra was talking loudly and—
“This has to wait!” Kaveh summoned as much anger as he could fake and snapped, “You! Come here!”
Alhaitham’s eyes widened with genuine surprise.
Kaveh grabbed his wrist and tugged. “Right now.”
Alhaitham let himself get yanked.
Kaveh looked back.
Alhaitham’s eyes were calculations, equations, almost a dot of desperation to figure out what this was about.
Kaveh felt bad about this, knowing how bad Alhaitham’s mind must have been rattled, and now he was trying to understand a level of rage Kaveh had only shown him once. They found an office and Kaveh slammed the door closed behind them.
Alhaitham took the second in the silence before asking. “What?” His voice resounded with dots of annoyance, maybe even hurt.
Kaveh didn’t speak. His eyes softened and he looked at Alhaitham.
Without pitch or tone, their eyes met.
“Oh…” Alhaitham closed his eyes. He took a single breath.
Kaveh let himself take a breath as well.
“Kaveh—”
“Shush,” Kaveh whispered.
Alhaitham closed his eyes and flicked his ear pieces on, needing even more silence than this room could provide him.
Kaveh watched him, watched the man that Alhaitham had become. He smiled softly, still unsure about how he felt about… all of this. Alhaitham had found him, drunk, few tears running down his face, and had brought Kaveh into his home. Embarrassing, pathetic, Kaveh had felt that shame burn in his gut for weeks straight now…
But Alhaitham had done him a favour.
A favour from a roommate—not a friend.
Not a friend—not anymore.
And favours—favours needed to be repaid.
“Thank you,” Alhaitham whispered as he opened his eyes.
“Hm.” Kaveh smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Alhaitham’s eyes dipped to Kaveh’s mouth then back up. He had to click off his earpieces. “What?”
“I said you’re welcome,” Kaveh tried to keep the bite out of his voice, but some of it spilled out.
Alhaitham actually chuckled at that. “Right.”
⠇ ⠇ ⠇
“Agh!” Kaveh adjusted his Santa hat. “I don’t know why he won’t accept my help!”
“Mhm.” Tighnari’s ever-knowing gaze drifted away from Kaveh as the two of them walked to the centre of Sumeru City, where the festive events would take place.
“I had to study, you know, study Haitham. To understand him.” Kaveh’s face frowned so deeply, he was half afraid he would get stuck that way. “He never explains himself. And I try so hard! I worked so hard! And now he doesn’t let me use what knowledge I have to do something.”
“Well…” Tighnari had that sing-song half-suggestion voice that he often used between the Kaveh and Alhaitham, “You really think he would let you redesign his earpieces? He made them himself.”
“I want to offer to make up a blueprint,” Kaveh corrected. “If he doesn’t want it built that way, I won’t be offended.”
Tighnari held back a laugh and just raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yes,” Kaveh admitted with a soft sigh. “I know he’s… peculiar, about things that are his. He won’t let me change them, but I know I can offer him a few suggestions he might like. He’ll probably implement them himself, his way, but I’m okay with that.” He glanced at Tighnari as they kept walking. “Plus, I’m an architect—blueprints and visualising are my blood!”
“Uhuh.” Tighnari nodded. “But you know…” His fox ears flopped back a bit before straightening. “You really studied Alhaitham… but you studied Alhaitham a long time ago.”
“Well, obviously.”
“I’m just saying he’s changed, too.” Tighnari offered an apologetic frown. “You might need to study him again. Make new notes, not just revise the old ones. You know?”
Kaveh opened his mouth—
But Cyno approached them. He was holding two plates—one heavier with barbecued meats, seasoned and spiced, while the other focusing more on thick mushrooms with delicious grill marks and some kind of glaze shining on them. “Kaveh…” Cyno eyed him. “Sorry.” He paused. “If I knew you were here, I would have grabbed a plate for you too.”
“Oh, that’s okay!” Kaveh chuckled. “Why don’t you guys find a place to sit! I’ll grab a plate and join you.” He eyed them. “Gives you a chance to get your kissing out before I get there.”
Both of them jolted in place.
Tighnari muttered, “Kaveh.”
Cyno looked away, not denying it.
“It’s the holidays!” Kaveh said with a smile. “Holidays always bring feelings out!”
Cyno shook his head, and Tighnari rolled his eyes.
Leaving them, Kaveh headed over to the big holiday barbeque which was now, apparently, tradition in Sumeru. The aroma of the flavours put a skip in his step and he grabbed a plate. He got in line and soon began helping himself.
“Kaveh,” came a soft voice.
Kaveh looked up.
Nilou was next to him, helping herself to some barbecued chicken and samosas. “Hi!”
“Nilou!”
She smiled. “Are you coming to the performance?”
Kaveh’s eyes lit up. “Oh!” He nodded. “Yup! I’m looking forward to it!”
“Make sure to get there early.” Nilou chuckled. “It’s a free performance, so it’ll probably be packed.”
“Oh, good to know.” Kaveh nodded seriously. He hummed. “I’ll have to tell Haitham.”
Nilou seemed a bit surprised. “Oh, is he also going to come?”
“He’ll want to.” Kaveh nodded. “He likes the performances—especially yours.”
Nilou’s eyes widened at that. “Really?”
“Oh yeah, of course.” Kaveh smiled softly. He understood why she was surprised, though. “He likes the performances. It’s just the crowds he can’t really handle.”
Nilou thought about it. “You know…”
⠇ ⠇ ⠇
“Good news!”
“Hm?” Alhaitham was sitting on his couch and didn’t bother looking up from his book. “You left your keys again, but you’re lucky I’m home?”
“No!” Kaveh frowned, but the frown melted away. “But, hey, I talked with Nilou. There’s a little private booth we can watch the performance from. Get away from the noise, the crowds, all that.”
Alhaitham looked up from his book, but not at anything particular. Kaveh could see him running the equations before he turned to look at Kaveh. “Nahida’s booth?”
“Yeah.” Kaveh nodded. “Lesser Lord Kusanali would get swarmed otherwise.”
Alhaitham nodded slowly. “As long as she doesn’t mind.”
“She doesn’t! I asked.”
Alhaitham returned to his book.
Kaveh watched the way Alhaitham’s shoulders relaxed ever-so-slightly. He smiled, proud of himself, but something caught his eye. “Huh?” He ran over to the tree. “What’s this?”
“My gift. For you.”
Kaveh snatched it up. It was similar to his gift, in that it was a thin rectangle wrapped up. It was bigger though, seemed more like a sheet of paper, possibly a short stack of paper. “What is it?”
“It’s supposed to be a mystery,” Alhaitham muttered as he read his book. “Don’t ruin Christmas.”
“Ugh!”
⠇ ⠇ ⠇
“And so!” Nilou’s voice resonated as she wove hydro particles around. Off stage, Layla—rather nervously—was using cryo to freeze those particles, turning them into snow. The timing wasn’t perfect, but most people in Sumeru hadn’t really seen snow in large amounts, so they were clapping excitedly. Nilou kept dancing and continued telling the story, “The Fatui Harbinger Saint Nicholas descended Dragonspine to make peace with Mondstadt!”
And from a zip line above, a man with a shock full of orange hair said, “Hey everyone!”
In Nahida’s booth, Scaramouche (who Kaveh still only knew as Hat Guy) muttered, “Why is he here?”
“I’m not too sure,” Nahida admitted with a gentle chuckle. “But he just kept calling himself Mister Worldwide and he knew how to use the zip line.”
Scaramouche hissed, “He was always just here for the zip line.”
“As Harbinger,” Childe, in his red suit and white beard on stage, declared, “I request Mondstadt and Snezhnaya come to an armistice!”
“But!” Nilou’s voice boomed through the Zubayr Theatre and deeper into the Grand Bazaar. “The people of Mondstadt were not trusting, were not sure! And so, the great Frozen Wolf Boreas asked—”
Off stage, a deep voice roared, “—How can we trust you!?”
Childe opened his arms. “I’ll give gifts to you all! Once a year! If you’re not on the naughty list, that is.”
“Unconvinced,” Nilou went on, “The people of Mondstadt shut their doors!”
In unison, several prop doors on stage slammed shut.
“But!” Childe wagged a single finger in a ‘no-no-no!’ fashion. “Not their chimneys!”
“And so,” Nilou said as she danced, “The tradition of these holidays began!”
Childe zipped up to the top of the set, where he began dumping presents down the prop chimneys. The exaggerated sound of clatter and shouting was heard each time as he moved from prop house to prop house.
“And it is said…” Nilou stopped dancing and put her hand to her heart. “If you, Children, are on Santa Claus’ good list, you too shall receive presents!” She bowed.
There was raucous applause.
In Nahida’s booth, Kaveh sniffled as he wiped a single tear. “All the kids got presents…”
Alhaitham, however, wore a neutral face.
Kaveh knew, however, no one else—not even Nahida, maybe—could see the small smile the way he could.
Soon the two of them walked home.
In the cool air of nighttime Sumeru, they both breathed easy.
“So.” Kaveh nudged Alhaitham’s shoulder with his own. “What did you think?”
Alhaitham nodded. “It was good.”
Kaveh smiled. “I’m glad.”
When they got to their front door, Kaveh reached for his keys only to find them missing. Alhaitham, who had both sets, ignored the shouting from Kaveh as they soon let themselves in. Taking off shoes and thin overcoats, the two were about to go their separate ways, to separate rooms, but—
“Haitham!”
Alhaitham tensed and looked back.
“Your earpieces,” Kaveh said firmly. “I want to help.”
Alhaitham rolled his eyes and began to turn away.
“Haitham!” Kaveh began, and was about to continue when—
Beep!
They both glanced over.
Mehrak floated up.
“See!” Kaveh smirked. “Even she wants to help!”
Beeeeeep…
Kaveh frowned. “What?”
Alhaitham warned, “Mehrak.”
Kaveh looked between Mehrak and Alhaitham. “What?” He kept looking between them. “Are you two conspiring?”
Alhaitham sighed. He took his earpieces off and held them in his hands. “What does it matter to you?”
“You need to update them! Or upgrade them.” Kaveh took a deep breath and crossed his arms. “They’re damaged. They’re not working as well as they did before. Certain frequencies are going through that shouldn’t.”
Beep!
“See!” Kaveh smirked. “Even Mehrak agrees.”
“Hm.” Alhaitham stared at him for a long while. “You knew?”
“Obviously!” Kaveh frowned. “I’ve been aware of your noise issues since the Akademiya days… and even when I just moved back, when you were Acting Grand Sage, you had to turn them off to hear me. But now, when you turn them off, sounds still go through… Maybe the crystals or components you used are degrading or something…? I’m sure it’s an easy fix—and I could even suggest some improvements!”
Alhaitham stared at him.
Kaveh stared back. He was waiting for some kind of response, either verbal or physical. Kaveh even moved his head in a questioning way, a couple times, to get a response out of Alhaitham.
Eventually, Alhaitham sighed. “No point hiding it…” He looked at his earpieces. “I already had Mehrak modify them. We collaborated on it together.”
“What!?” Kaveh gasped, more scandalised than anything as he shouted, “Mehrak!”
Beep!
Kaveh tried to glare, not knowing it came off more as a pout, as he turned his body away from Mehrak. “Collaborated? For what purpose? To improve it?”
“Not to improve it.”
Kaveh glared at Alhaitham, but his face relaxed.
Alhaitham had a look in his eyes.
A look Alhaitham hadn’t worn since he was in their Akademiya days.
He looked so… young, again. Lost in the way Kaveh had been…
Kaveh asked, “Haitham…?”
“I asked Mehrak to help me… modify them to allow certain vibrations to bypass the noise cancellation. Overall, it would be an incredibly simple modification… though it would be impossible without an entire library of sound recordings.” Alhaitham didn’t look anywhere in particular. “Mehrak listens to you talk nonstop… so she already had all the data I needed.”
Kaveh stared for a long moment.
Alhaitham met his gaze.
“What?” Kaveh blinked. “What was I saying that you wanted bypassed? Certain words, or…”
Alhaitham just kept meeting his gaze.
“My…” Kaveh whispered, “My voice?”
Alhaitham breathed and looked away, pigments of shame colouring his eyes.
“So. Wait.” Kaveh’s eyes darted all over the room. “What!?” He took a step closer to Alhaitham. “No, that’s not fair! I know my voice annoys you! I’ve been trying so hard to annoy you less! And, wait, you let this happen on purpose!? You’re already letting me live in your house, and I’m trying to upgrade your earpieces to accommodate you! You don’t need to put up with me! I know I’m too much and—”
“I…” Alhaitham stared at him.
Kaveh had stepped too close and now they were face to face, not enough distance.
Barring all the times Kaveh was drunk, hanging off Alhaitham’s shoulder, or laying his head in Alhaitham’s lap, the two of them hadn’t been this close, this intently focused on each other, this much eye contact—eye contact that Kaveh knew Alhaitham didn’t like—not since, not since, not since…
How long had it been?
Their fight.
Worse than that, Traveller and Paimon brought this holiday festival last year, so they must have been roommates for two maybe three years, and never once had they even talked about—
Alhaitham looked away.
“Sorry.” Kaveh glanced at the floor. He knew, he knew eye contact wasn’t Alhaitham’s favourite, and yet. “Are you okay, Haitham?”
“No.”
“Oh.” Kaveh stared at Alhaitham’s ankles, tracing the zigzag patterns on his socks. “What can I do?”
“Stay.”
“Stay?”
“Stay. Talk. Don’t…”
Kaveh instinctually looked up and they made eye contact again.
Alhaitham was unreadable. “Don’t leave again.”
“What? Why would I…?” Kaveh frowned. “I have nowhere to go…”
“But if you did, you would go.” Alhaitham looked at him. “You said you regret me. Regret knowing me.”
“When—?”
“Back then.”
Kaveh’s chest tightened.
“And you hid yourself from me, when you came back.” Alhaitham looked at him. “You couldn’t relax around me. I deserve that. I thought… if you figured I couldn’t hear you, you could just be yourself… I could get a glimpse of you… of the friend I used to have, without you knowing.”
Kaveh opened his mouth, but paused. “Haitham…?”
“Disgusting,” Alhaitham muttered. “Right?”
“I…”
Alhaitham didn’t look away. “Right?”
“I don’t.” Kaveh took a deep breath. “I don’t regret meeting you. I know—I know I said I did… But I was, hurt. Angry. Maybe in the moment I felt that way, but not anymore… The reason I can’t relax around you is… I thought I was annoying you. I mean, I am annoying… I want to be a good roommate, a good… friend, but I keep bickering with you, and I’m sorry I should stop—”
“Don’t.” Alhaitham inhaled sharply. “I like it when you bicker with me.”
Kaveh tilted his head.
“It makes me…” Alhaitham breathed carefully. “It makes me feel normal. I know I’m… odd. Different. And people treat me differently… and you do too, but it’s not a bad ‘different’ with you.”
“I’m trying to, you know…”
“Accommodate me?”
“I’m trying,” Kaveh whispered with a tinge of regret. “I thought you hated me.”
“No.”
“Okay!” Kaveh clasped his hands together, loudly. “Then, you know what!? Let’s start over! Again! How about that?”
“No.”
“What!?” Kaveh blinked. “We almost solved this. Why not!?”
“Because.” Alhaitham glared at him. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Do what!?”
“Pretend I want to be your friend,” Alhaitham muttered. “Lie and say a friendship is what I want. I can’t… You deserve better. Under the guise of a friendship when…”
Kaveh studied Alhaitham’s face.
Oh.
“You…”
Oh.
“You want to be…”
“Kaveh. Don’t—”
“…Together?”
Alhaitham turned away. “Fuck.”
Kaveh felt his lips tug into a smile. “Wow… the holidays do bring out a lot of feelings…”
Alhaitham glanced back. “Huh?”
“You look so dumb right now. It’s actually kind of cute! But. Okay.” Kaveh took a deep breath. “I know a lot about you, Haitham, but apparently there’s a lot I don’t. So let’s start over! And let’s figure this out… and maybe a d-date!”
Alhaitham shut his eyes for a moment. “Nahida wants to build a few things in the desert.” He opened his eyes and looked at Kaveh. “Your Christmas gift is an architecture contract.”
“Wh-What!?” Kaveh blinked. “Really!?”
“It’s good money, if you don’t mess it up,” Alhaitham admitted. “But you don’t… have to move out, just because it’s good money.”
Kaveh just kept blinking.
“In exchange… you can draft up modifications for my earpieces. But I want to hear your frequency. That’s non-negotiable.”
“O-Okay.” Kaveh grinned. “Okay!”
“I like your voice.” Alhaitham glanced aside. “And I’ll take you out on a date.”
“You!?” Kaveh crossed his arms. “I’m your senior! I should be taking you out on a date!”
“With what money?”
“Agh!” Kaveh winced.
“Just.” Alhaitham breathed carefully. “Let me do something for you. Let me be nice to you… the way you try to do for me. I’m tired of pretending everything I’m doing for you is an accident. Alright?”
Kaveh nodded twice, his cheeks tinging pink.
“Good. Then we’re done with this conversation.” Alhaitham turned around. “Happy Holidays, Kaveh.”
“Happy Holi—wait!” Kaveh laughed. “We should celebrate! Hot chocolate! Or should we do iced chocolate because it’s Sumeru?”
“Iced hot chocolate is just chocolate milk.” Alhaitham walked over to their kitchen. “I’ll make hot chocolate.”
“Okay.” Kaveh turned around, seeing Mehrak hiding behind the couch to give them privacy. “Hey Mehrak, he likes me!”
Beep!
Kaveh chuckled. “He likes my voice!”
Beep!! Beep!!
“On second thought,” Alhaitham called out from the kitchen, “Do modify my earpieces to shut you out.”
“Never!” Kaveh said with a childish grin. “I…”
Alhaitham looked up, and they made eye contact again.
“Let's really do this,” Kaveh whispered.
Alhaitham nodded.
“This time…” Kaveh’s eyes softened as they reflected the glint off the tree’s lights. “Let’s start over. This time on a better frequency.”