Chapter Text
The noise around my head consumed more and more space, filling my thoughts. I wanted to spit out blood, look at my phone and distract myself with a funny post on social media, sit with a glass of beer in my room and just be silent, staring at the walls or simply closing my eyes. But the noise wouldn’t let me. The severe pain in my ribs stopped all normal ideas of how to deal with it, and the dialogue with my friend didn’t really inspire me to live.
His gaze was angry, but not in the usual way. I’d call it dull-witted, which made my friend even angrier in his own way — not like during a fight or argument. Angry, but naive. Natsu had always been naive. His voice often jumped nervously to higher tones, and his hand “flew,” trying to poke me. Accusing me again. But even that he did differently. Naively.
“You cold-hearted jerk, even on a goddamn holiday you can’t just get away from other people,” he said, poking his index finger into my chest.
My brain still didn’t understand what he wanted.
“Why the hell are you blaming me for him insulting you?”
“He was drunk.”
“And then he hit me in the lip.”
“He’s just crazy!”
“And he spilled all the whisky on Gajeel.”
Natsu’s hands dropped limply, and he looked away awkwardly. All my arguments were completely justified, and he knew it himself. But it was us who got kicked out. As always. It’s easier to blame some losers than to admit that someone “higher” messed everything up. Anyway, the idea was terrible from the start.
That’s what I was trying to explain to Natsu when he received a message from Meredy. She was my classmate, and judging by the message she sent at five in the morning, quite eloquent. The cheerful emojis at the end made a strong impression on Dragneel, and he couldn’t refuse. How surprised I was to see the same message in my own inbox. Very surprised. Which raised the question of why I had even gone to my stepbrother’s birthday — someone I had a far from warm relationship with.
This led to a completely different problem. A family one, as they say. The quiet laughter angered Natsu again. I rubbed my bruised nose. My face was definitely not at its best. Still, I couldn’t help feeling a little pleased that my stepbrother was no longer a flawless white rabbit.
I pulled a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and finally began to think more clearly after the first drag. The noise in my head dulled after the sharp sting. Natsu’s anger became irritating again, and sharp words were already forming in my head. I smoked.
“And you’re to blame for all this, by the way,” I couldn’t help saying.
His hair almost stood on end, and his relaxed posture instantly closed off — arms crossed, irritation flashing in his dark eyes.
“Well?”
“No,” Dragneel shook his head calmly. “No fucking way, Gray. You’re just a selfish asshole.”
“It’s hard to argue with that…”
“There!” Natsu snapped. “You’re not even ashamed! And I… I won’t be able to face anyone again.”
“I told you dragging me there was a bad idea, you idiot, so don’t whine now,” I said, exhaling smoke.
He snorted, dialed a number, and muttered the last sentence of our argument:
“I just wanted you to stop being so depressed.”
Natsu looked away uncertainly and answered someone on the phone. For some reason, the world around me began to blur again. My thoughts returned in waves, loud and chaotic.
Damn it. Apparently, bipolar disorder develops alongside alcoholism. I couldn’t think straight. Just a minute ago, I had no regrets about breaking Leon’s jaw, yelling at everyone around me, and finishing the night with a glass of whisky. And now I felt terribly ashamed in front of Natsu, who had been trying so hard to fit in.
I still couldn’t understand what kind of influence those people had on him. But apparently, it mattered. Too much. I came to solve my own problems and ended up arguing with my only friend — the only one who still put up with me.
Yes, my problems and I have always gone hand in hand. For years now. A stupid thought, considering everyone has problems. But still. When your own mother wants to kill you — figuratively, of course — things feel different.
“Natsu, hey. I’m sorry.”
“Are you high, Fullbuster?” he asked, clearly shocked when I put out my cigarette and approached him. He grabbed my shoulders to keep me from falling. My legs felt like jelly.
“No, you said yourself—”
“Later, Gray.”
“For once in my life, I’m trying to apologize!”
“Sit down. We’ll talk later.”
“Where am I supposed to sit?”
“Just sit down already.”
He opened the car door and practically shoved me into the back seat. My attempts to understand what was happening faded with every passing second. Natsu sat in the front and gave the driver the address. I frowned. I had no idea why this idiot had decided to call a taxi, but the pounding in my head only grew worse.
“Is something wrong with your friend?” the driver asked, turning his whole body toward me instead of using the mirror.
Natsu blinked, surprised, then glanced at me. He tapped his ear.
“Did you adjust your hearing aids after the fight?”
“You’re right…”
My hands slowly touched my ears, and I had to adjust the frequency, which took some time. Luckily, Leon didn't tear this shit to pieces. Otherwise, I’d be deaf and blind at the same time, and my mother’s slap would have been the least of my problems.
The car finally started moving, which was strange — we’d been sitting there for five minutes already. The driver looked at Natsu with interest, clearly bored. But as long as he talked to him, I was left alone.
I leaned back and closed my eyes. I wanted to turn my hearing aids off completely, but that usually triggered panic in public places. When you can hear, everything feels stable. Without it, the world turns gray. I couldn’t even imagine how blind people lived.
The car stopped. I thought it was at a traffic light, but the driver unlocked the door and in a few seconds a girl was sitting opposite me. I choked in surprise. What the hell is going on here? The stranger crossed her legs comfortably, resting her hands on her knees. Her short stature made all her movements smooth and quick. The blonde, as far as I could tell in the damn darkness, didn't even glance at me. The driver and Natsu were chatting, and Natsu offered her some gum, earning a light slap on the head. Only then did she look at me.
Even in the dark, you could see those brown eyes studying you thoroughly, as if trying to read you in a fraction of a second. Suddenly, everything inside me grew cold, my hands began to sweat, and my throat went dry. This change in my body made me feel very uncomfortable. I quietly swallowed, trying not to pay attention to the strange person, and looked at Natsu. He raised his eyebrows questioningly:
“What?”
“Nothing,” I muttered, taking the gum. My mouth tasted awful after the alcohol. “What kind of taxi did you order?” I asked.
“A new service,” Natsu grinned. “With companions. Cheaper too.”
So that’s why he insisted on paying. Well, fine. Better for me. And strange girls only last for fifteen minutes.
At least, I really hoped so. My hand unconsciously began to wind my hair around index finger. My right foot tapped to the beat of the music playing quietly on the radio. Everything was very annoying and unnerving, but damn it, why? Because of the fight with Leon? Bullshit. Because of Natsu's broken relationship with the team again? Probably, but that doesn't fit either.
My heart was beating so fast. It felt like my leg was about to fall off, and I had to force myself not to make any sudden movements. No one paid any attention, but it seemed like the opposite. After that girl sat down with us, everything changed. But, damn it... why? I caught myself thinking that the alcohol I had drunk was starting to take effect, and then my thoughts began to resemble something whispered by paranoia and misinterpreted. Usually, it wasn't like that at all. It's strange that I can still generate a meaningful stream of words.
In all this silence, with strange music on the radio, bubbles from Natsu's chewing gum and my nervous fever, the taxi driver suddenly spoke:
“So, you’re going to the Mavis Dormitory?” His voice seemed so calm that at first I didn't pay any attention to the question. Natsu looked at the girl. The blonde didn't lose her composure, just smiled a little.
“It’s in your booking.”
I frowned without even knowing why. At first, it seemed like question was directed at Natsu and me. But I certainly didn't expect this blonde girl to be a student at our university. As they say, it's a small world.
Her voice was... pleasant, I suppose. Or funny. Something amused her, as could be seen from her subtle smile. She looked out the window, her hands folded on her knees. The taxi driver's answer did not embarrass her. But then again, the old man didn't really look like a taxi driver. He had a neat, short haircut and a moustache. He was at least sixty years old, judging by his appearance, and he didn't look like a typical driver, especially with his bow tie.
“How are your studies going?” he asked. “You look like a promising student.”
That made me choke on my gum.
Natsu stiffened.
Questions like that late at night in a taxi don't lead to anything good, especially with such suspicious characters. He glanced at the girl, who didn't even flinch, just exhaled briefly. If I had the chance, I would have given her a light slap on the back of the head. She exuded such frivolity that it seemed like she didn't care about anything at all. So what if some old man is suddenly interested in your life? But that was less frightening than her answer:
“Not bad,” she replied calmly. “I have a seminar tomorrow. Almost prepared. If not for some unexpected events.”
“Knowledge is not gained by accident,” the man said smoothly. “It requires passion and discipline.”
“Quoting others doesn’t make you sound smarter,” she replied, smiling faintly. Her brown eyes sparkled in the darkness as the car passed by the streetlights. Her hands moved smoothly from her lap to her chest, crossing them.
The conclusion about her could be summed up as: ‘a stupid creature who doesn't understand that with such dumb answers to such dumb questions, she could easily be dragged off somewhere’. Probably, it should have bothered me, but that was the last thing I cared about. Strangely, even my anxiety began to fade away. Probably a small adrenaline rush.
“They say that crime has increased at night lately,” the driver continuied. His voice sounded so neutral and ‘velvety’ that it created a completely different impression of him. The man glanced furtively at Natsu at first, but then his gaze shifted through the mirror to the blonde. "It's better to be wary of unfamiliar places and people.”
Holy shit, this old man is clearly out of line. It's a direct hint that everything is fucked up. I don't understand why my head instantly turned towards the stupid girl for the tenth time during this trip. Her gaze was a little tense, and she leaned forward without leaning on the seat. She seemed not to hear, trying to catch what the taxi driver said. Her mouth was open for some reason. She looked confused.
As soon as the car stopped, Natsu had to pay for the ride, and I was almost being pulled out by the collar. Her gaze became extremely childishly cheerful. The blonde's lips spread into a smile, and her brown eyes looked straight at me. Her hand gently touched her light hair, tucking a strand behind ear. The car door slammed. I stood in the middle of the courtyard in pitch darkness, occasionally disturbed by Natsu's quiet sniffles.
That evening, I experienced all kinds of emotions that I hadn't been able to process in my twenty years of life. Just wonderful. My palms were starting to sweat again, and it was a beautiful November night outside. I looked at Natsu, who was also watching the car drive away from us. My head was filled with thoughts about the strange conversation and how it would end for the clueless blonde. My body was giving up in every way today, I wanted to either throw up or swear disgustingly so as not to feel the uncertainty and anxiety.
I turned around in hope, looking at the back of the courtyard. Natsu sniffed loudly, right next to me. His big eyes stared at me like I was some drunk from the alley. He touched my shoulder:
“You look like shit,” he said. “You can crash at my place.”
“Get your bike.”
"What?"
"Before that old fart gets away, get your bike."
"No," he laughed. Natsu's face was confused. "Damn it, Gray, don't tell me you're going to help that girl..."
"My dear fool, my patience has never lasted long, so get your iron pile of shit and take me there. You heard him," I sighed deeply. My body was shaking; I had chills and a dry cough. All of this was beyond tonight's events and didn't fit anywhere. My body can't react so violently after a little drinking and fighting. It's definitely not mine. And it's definitely not me. Shaking my head, I smiled crookedly. "Crime is on the rise in the evenings these days."
"Got it," Natsu nodded, approaching one of the garages. A couple of minutes later, he drove out on his red bike with only one helmet. "You're out of your mind!"
"Shut up and don't whine. If we manage to catch up with them, I'll give you ten bucks."
"You won't be able to buy your way out of this even with twenty-five, you idiot." Natsu started the bike, which was a signal to get on. Putting on his helmet, the guy instantly hit the gas. With such a gust of wind and sudden movements, I was almost thrown back, but I managed to grab the seat in time.
To be honest, I feel like something is wrong here. And it's not the taxi driver's hints, or my extremely strange behaviour, but only that girl who sat calmly the whole way without any fears. That's how it seemed, and that's how it was. You could see it in her eyes, especially when she looked at me.
Everything was numb from the cold, and it felt so good. My fingers seemed to be frozen to the seat, and a terribly cold wind blew through my throat. It was pleasant. My tightly buttoned denim jacket shook wildly in the wind. Natsu, like the devil, deftly overtook cars and even ran a few red lights. At the intersection that leads either to the city centre or to the university campus, we turned in the last direction. That's where your mad taxi driver will drop you off, right, blondie? To the Mavis Dormitory, from where I was kicked out just a couple of weeks ago. And I never got to meet you there. Not once.
The pace of driving began to slow down. Natsu stopped near a small square, not far from the dormitory. Finally removing the cap from his head, the pink-haired boy turned to me with a slight smile, waiting for further instructions. Laugh, you little shit. I don't understand what I'm doing myself. Jumping off the bike, the first thing that came to mind with a wild desire to do was to walk to the centre of the square:
"All right, Gray, jokes aside, what the hell are we doing? More precisely, what are you doing? Have you had a couple of drinks or bottles?" Natsu hurried after me, a little worried about the bike, but clearly his interest overcame his anxiety.
"It's as if you've never had a sense of justice."
"Of course I have, but not with strangers in a taxi."
"How much do you bet he's a professional psychopathic killer?" I wanted to smile, but it's a very unpleasant feeling when your lips are adorned with the beauty of wounds from a fight. But a bitter cigarette will brighten things up nicely. Nerves — cigarettes.
"He's more of a rapist type."
"And what are the chances she's a dumb blonde?"
"Stereotypes aren't good, Gray," Natsu snorted. "Let's say fifteen?"
"Not enough."
"But she didn't look stupid either."
"Ah, well, it's hard to judge your own kind."
I didn't want to listen to Natsu's dissatisfied cries. Our evening walk was becoming more and more pointless, and searching for a victim was futile. For some reason, it didn't immediately occur to me that the taxi driver could have turned in a completely different direction. And why did everything seem so obvious at first? Just get to Mavis territory, and somehow everything will work out. But, fuck, how “somehow everything will work out” — I have no idea. I had a wild desire to rush after this stranger, look at her stupid face again, and make sure that she wouldn't mind thinking a little. And now all this seems impossible and wrong. I exhaled cigarette smoke loudly. Fucking drunken delusions, really...
I could believe it. To accept it. To understand that it was just empty words. To forget and return to Natsu's yard so I wouldn't have to hear my mother's screams. To fall asleep and finally rest, instantly erasing the memories of tonight. It would all be over. Yeah. Sure.
Natsu's eyes widened, his mouth opening in surprise. He almost managed to say something, to point his finger at me. But he didn't make it. I tried to turn around. And all those feelings I had in the taxi instantly returned. Everything grew cold. I fell. My throat went dry. The same blonde woman who was standing in front of me deftly grabbed me by the collar of my jacket. And it looked damn silly, considering that this stranger was much shorter than me. My cigarette almost fell out of my mouth, but I managed to keep my balance and hold on to it. The adrenaline rush returned with a new wave of emotions.
"Great," I said quietly, laughing. "So, the victim isn't a dumb blonde?"
"A dumb blonde?"
It was a completely different voice than in the taxi. Emotional. And very lively. Lively because the emotions on this girl's face changed like my bedtime playlist. Quickly and diversely. Her brown eyes glanced at Natsu, who was keeping his ears open, preparing to fight back. Funny.
"You were in the car," she drawled, trying to taste the words, looking at me again. There was noticeable indignation. In response, she wore the same expression. "And what are you doing here? Following me? With this old man, too, right?"
"What?!" Natsu almost shouted. "We came to help you! He threatened you!"
"What..."
She slowly let go of my collar, looking back, looking at us again, squinting her eyes. My heart was beating wildly, but I was no longer nervous.
I rarely felt any interest in girls. In a romantic sense. And I never wanted to get myself tangled up in that mess of relationships, problems, and meaningless connections. Even despite my connection with my soulmate. It's all pointless. But right now, these thoughts come to me as I look at this stupid stranger. No, no, not thoughts about relationships, that's crazy. Just thoughts. About her. I don't understand why the hell I made Natsu go after her, and even more so, how we managed to find her. It's not even possible by accident. There are no such accidents.
Someone was approaching us. From the silhouette, in the dim light of the street lamps, it was clear that it was the taxi driver. A light gait and a stick. Not bad, damn it. The sound of approaching footsteps was very clear, and with each step, the blonde moved further away. Her cheeky face changed to a touching one. She deftly grabbed Natsu and me by the hands, pulling us closer to her.
"Will you be very angry if I use you a little?"
"Don't tell me you're a high-level maniac," Natsu said, his eyes wide with surprise. Today's adventure was definitely unlike any other.
"What nonsense! Where have you seen such maniacs?" She smiled cheerfully. "Pretend to be my friends."
"Hey, blondie, we didn't come here for that..."
"Then what for?" Her face was almost an inch away, with an interested smile. "You guys are weird. How did you find me?"
"Lucy."
Everyone turned to the new voice. And it was familiar. It was impossible to mistake him for anyone else now. The old man waved his walking stick in a friendly manner, looking at Natsu and me businesslike. He probably didn't expect such a turn of events. He deftly adjusted his coat:
"I thought I dropped you off nearby in a residential area."
"We're her friends."
Natsu, damn it, who made you open your mouth? The pink-haired boy stepped forward, shielding the girl with his body. Decided to play the hero? The taxi driver raised his eyebrows in surprise:
"Everything looked a little different in the car..."
"We came back because you look really weird," I said. I had to play along since Natsu started this charade. "Why are you picking on the girl?"
"How long have you known each other? Sorry for asking."
Lucy, as I understood it, sighed behind me. And very irritably. Yes, you still have a long way to go before you become a victim.
"He looks like he came out of the last century," whispered Natsu, turning to the girl. "What kind of guy is he?"
"My butler."
"What?!"
Two loud cries from Natsu and me instantly startled the stranger. She laughed awkwardly, twirling a strand of hair. It seemed that only now did she begin to feel embarrassed by the absurdity of the situation, but the fact that her own butler was running after her began to bother me. I grabbed the girl's shoulder and pulled her towards me, but kept my eyes on the old man. He was already ready to approach us, but Dragneel stepped forward:
"Lucy, please, talking to your family isn't so scary. You left yesterday, today, maybe tomorrow. But then you'll only make things worse."
"Hey, old man, get away from the girl," Natsu spread his arms. He began to slowly back away. Some people were getting ready to start. I smiled. "Talk under normal circumstances, not late at night in dark parks."
Lucy snorted quietly. She was silent and said nothing.
"Sorry," I said, still holding the girl by the shoulder, "our club is closing, and this blonde is the one who has to make the last exit into the criminal world. And for that, we need to leave politely. Agreed?"
"Agreed," she and Natsu said in unison.
Lucy grabbed our hands, easily turning her back on her butler. We had to take off really fast, towards the bike. Natsu was indignant, shouting at me, then at the evening, then at the blonde. And I still couldn't understand what the hell was going on here and why she was so calm about everything. She ran easily in her heels, arguing with Natsu as she went and looking at me suspiciously. When we finally stopped at the entrance to the park, the first thing she said was:
"This is just awful!" Lucy laughed, breathing heavily. "But it's convenient. I can't believe you followed me! Does he really look like a maniac?"
"You both do," Natsu coughed, walking around his vehicle several times to make sure everything was okay. "I'm more interested in what the hell just happened. That's a question for you, Gray."
I grimaced discontentedly, standing nearby. How am I supposed to answer that when I don't understand anything myself? I could only shrug my shoulders:
"I'm telling you: a slight sense of justice."
"Wow," Lucy smiled. "You're such a mystery... um... Gra..."
"Gray."
"And I'm Natsu," the boy said happily, extending his hand. "And you, the secret student of Mavis?"
"Lucy Heartfilia."
"Heartfilia?" I asked again. The girl gasped and hit her forehead. "That's where the rats are hiding."
"What kind of comparison is that?" Lucy sighed discontentedly, clenching her fists.
"What do you mean?" Natsu tilted his head in surprise.
"That what I mean. Butler, Heartfilia... it's obvious that the lady in distress is from a well-known family. She even managed to slip her surname in. Maybe you set it all up?"
"Yeah, special forces running out of the bushes to tie up two strange guys who wanted to be heroes at night," she came closer, standing in front of me, almost right up against me. "But, Gray, the surname is just a matter of politeness, and the fact that you were lucky enough to get into such a taxi... I can only say ‘it happens.’"
"Not excuse me?"
"What do I have to apologize for?"
In front of me was a dissatisfied face. She was about to fall down if I took even a step towards her. Of course, that's what I started doing. Natsu panicked, saying something about a misunderstanding and begging us both to stop this ridiculous circus.
"At least for the moral damage of calling you a friend," I took a step towards her.
"This moral damage is paid for by your interest," and she didn't move an inch away from me. Only a bend in her back, which would soon end in broken bones.
"That interest was not justified at all as soon as I saw... a blonde in front of me."
"Do you have a phobia of blondes?" Her face was twisted and dissatisfied. I smiled.
Either my hearing aid was damaged during the fight with Leon, or there was a concert of bells ringing in my ears today that was never going to end. Her eyes were fixed on me, and it seemed that she was experiencing a similar situation. Her mouth opened slightly, as if the question she had asked was unfinished, but my gloomy gaze instantly overpowered her desire to speak. My foot lifted, taking a step towards her. Well, fall down and end this stupid dialogue that's fucking with my brain.
Yeah. Sure.
She just went ahead and touched me.
It was as if she knew I would make her fall. There was a smug smile on that little minx's face. No, don't do that. It's annoying. I want to make you fall a bunch more times. But you don't fall. You deftly grab my neck, keeping your balance. Unexpectedly, I involuntarily bend down, leaning even closer to your face. You don't look like a drunk, strange stranger, but it seemed like the opposite. My black hair touched your forehead, and my hands had to grab you by the waist. No, damn it, not to keep you from falling. To keep me from falling. Your brown eyes burn through me. No matter which way you look, blondie, everything is burned by your interest. Natsu shouts in surprise, probably scared by what crazy people are doing. It's a shame, Lucy, that you don't understand that I fucking hate all these gestures from anyone, especially blondes. Of course, you don't know, and you're unlikely to understand, because you're not the one who has to suffer from these fucking soulmates.
I sigh deeply, still looking at her. Everything is happening so fast, but it seems like slow motion.
"I don't like hanging out with blondes on the sidewalks."
For some reason, she laughed and closed her eyes. I wanted to be the first to end this performance. I didn't want to be the last. But I didn't make it in time, and with her laughter, this fucking weird telepathy ended. Returning to her normal position, Lucy jumped up to Natsu so quickly, patting him on the shoulders, that the boy must have regretted everything he had done that evening a hundred times over. All I could do was watch silently:
"You're too scary," she smiled.
"Have you seen yourself?" Dragneel muttered discontentedly. "So what was that about?"
"Well, it's a strange situation..." She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. Her eyes darted around. "He's trying to get me to go home."
"What? You don't live in the dorm?"
"I do. But no one is safe from your father's butlers."
"This is all very interesting, but it's time to get out of here," I said, unable to hold back. Natsu glanced at me with dissatisfaction. "What?"
"Want a ride?" he asked the girl.
"I'll walk, thanks. And besides, someone's going to have a breakdown if I stay here much longer."
"Don't overdo it."
"Shut up, idiot," Natsu threatened with his fist. "It was nice to meet you, Lucy."
"It was nice meeting you too," the blonde smiled, seemingly sincerely and genuinely. "Natsu and Gray. You two are strange."
Lucy waved her hand. Easy. It seemed like a nice farewell. But she clearly didn't understand what ‘don't provoke’ meant. A punch on the shoulder, a quick goodbye to Natsu, and finally, she turns her back on us, seeing a bus stop nearby. She quickly runs up to the arriving transport and jumps in without even turning around. So fast? Without any foreplay?
"All right," Natsu sniffed. "I've known you long enough to be able to blame everything you just did on alcohol. But we both know you're out of your mind, right?"
I looked at my friend, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets.
Maybe you're right, Natsu. But I wish I knew what I was so pissed off about.
Cracking my neck wearily, I looked around for my bike.
"I'm not paying."
"You were wrong."
"Oh no, I'm sure I'm right. She's a bloody fool."
That was one of the longest nights of my life. Everything that had fallen on my drunken head only began to sink in under a cold shower, in my mother's house. So many screams, unpleasant insults on both sides, cold stares and my stepfather's smug face... Maybe I should have stayed at Natsu's, but I went to hell, or rather, to my family. A cold, pleasant freshness spread throughout my body, and it seemed that all the shit was about to go away. Oh, how wrong I was, feeling a burning sensation on my left arm. Not that it surprised me in any way. I had long since come to terms with the fact that a strange girl had been writing to me for several years. No. I'm not bothered by the fact that drawings or words sometimes appear on my arm. I'm not bothered by the fact that I will never respond to these messages. I'm not bothered by the fact that I hate the person who is supposedly “meant for me” with all my heart. That's not what bothered me then. Just a short phrase written in beautiful handwriting and small letters that I couldn't wash off myself:
It’s getting harder and harder to be a blonde with a butler. And hanging over the sidewalks with idiots is even harder.
Yes, okay. What's wrong? Nothing. Nothing at all?
“What…”
I think I understand why I've been feeling so awful all this time.
Lucy Heartfilia… you're very unlucky. I fucking hate blondes.