Work Text:
“Whatever he showed you, it’s not real. He plays tricks. He lies.”
“No, he doesn’t.” Will takes a deep breath, trying to calm the trembling of his nerves when he speaks again. “You… you can try to tell me that we’re going to be alright, Mom. But that doesn’t mean that we will be. That I will be. He showed me what’s going to happen, and- and even though we have such a good chance of avoiding it, I-” He takes a deep breath, focusing on the air drawing through his lungs to distract from the pang between his ribs, the ache behind his eyes. “…I have to tell you something, and Johnathan too. Incase I don’t get to tell you-”
Joyce’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, a look passing her face that he’s never seen before. “Oh, honey. Don’t think like that, but if this is really what you want to do, I’ll go get your brother.”
Before she can get up, the door to the radio station slams open with a creak that sends anxiety prickling up his spine. By the time he whips his head around, Mike’s standing there, looking between the both of them with his mouth hung slightly ajar. “Oh. Uh.. we just heard from Hop, he’s fifteen minutes out, so we should probably leave in five. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, we’ll be out in a minute.” Joyce starts, but he’s already pushing himself from his chair, the words escaping his mouth before he can stop them.
“Wait. I think you need to hear this too.” Will blurts, watching Mike’s eyes search his for some sort of explanation before he hesitantly walks over to sit close to him, placing his hands in his lap.
“Okay. I’ll just… stay in here then.” Mike's expression doesn't tell him anything about what he's thinking. Most of the time, it doesn't, but right now? He really wishes it would. Joyce stands and gives them a long look before she leaves, a tense silence stretching between them. Will doesn't dare look at him, not yet. He doesn't have the courage to face him this early.
Johnathan eventually wanders into the room, sitting down with a dull thud and crossing his arms over his chest. When Joyce reappears, she offers a kind smile to him– it does little to help his frayed nerves. “So, what did you want to tell us?”
Will clasps his hands together tight to keep them from shaking. He wishes they'd stop looking at him, but if he's going to be honest, he’ll need to get used to it. “It’s a secret I’ve been keeping from you for a long time. I thought maybe I could make it go away.” A pause. His pulse jumps into his throat, he bounces his knee.
“For a long time, I thought that there was something wrong with me. You all know I’ve been talking to Robin a lot more now, and… well, she’s helped me a lot. With accepting- accepting this part of myself, I mean.” Will steals a glance around the room. Johnathan's furrowed brow, Joyce's big eyes, Mike's blank look.
“I was going to tell you before, but I was so scared. Scared of who I really was, under this mask I’ve built for myself. I tried everything to be ‘normal’. To be like you.” He can't help but look at his brother. Johnathan is everything he isnt. He's everything he tried to be. “But I’m not. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Will clenches his jaw. It's now or never. He knows that. “I’m gay. I have been my entire life, and I don’t expect you to understand it. But I don’t think I care what you all think of me anymore, not when we’re so close to the end of the world. I don’t want to supress myself out of fear. If anything happens, I want to know that I was myself, and that you know who I really am.” The words come out like a flood, pushing out of him and slowly lifting the burden from his shoulders that he's been carrying for as long as he can remember.
“Will-” Joyce's voice cuts through the thudding of his heart in his ears, but he already knows what she'll say to him.
“Mom.” Will urges. “I know. Believe me, I know.”
Johnathan leans forwards in his chair, running a hand through his hair. There's a scared look in his eye, but there's acceptance he didn't expect. “It doesn’t change anything to me. I… I mean, it does, but I don’t mean in a negative way. You’re still my brother.”
“Johnathan’s right. If anything, I’m glad you told us. I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t talk to me, or that something like this is going to make me hate you.” Joyce reaches over and grabs his hand. He holds her hand tighter than he ever has, some part of him still fearing she'll let go of him regardless. “It was never important to me if you were ‘normal’, none of that mattered from the moment I first laid eyes on you. Just that you’re safe, and happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”
Mike shifts in his seat, raising goosebumps on the side of Will’s face. He's been staring at him, sure, but he’d been so quiet. When he speaks, it nearly startles him from how sudden it is. “Will, can I- can I talk to you, alone? Just for a second?”
At that, his mother's hand tightens around his. She's worried. It's practically radiating off her, down to the fearful look in her eyes. She's asking if it's okay to leave him alone. For all the fear Will felt before, he's oddly calm down he passes her a reluctant smile. “Yeah.”
Johnathan is the first one to stand. “We’ll be outside.” Joyce stares at him for a long moment, but she resigns to his wishes, slowly removing her hand from his and following his brother's retreat out of the station.
When he's sure they're gone, Will allows himself to speak again, their absence bringing his nerves back twice as strong. “Why did you want me alone?”
As he locks eyes with Mike, his dark eyes turn downcast. He doesn't quite meet his gaze for a moment, not until he raises his hand and carefully places it on his arm. Despite everything, it still sends chills over his skin. “I’m sorry, Will. For how I treated you. We’re supposed to be best friends, and I knew, and I- all I’ve done is use that against you. Make you feel like shit for it. I know why I did it.”
“I didn’t want to admit to myself that you weren’t the only one. But that doesn’t mean it was right. I wasn’t good to you, or Eleven, by… being so fucking cruel all the time.” Mike pauses, nodding to himself like he always does when he's thinking of what to say. “You were right about one thing. The end of the world makes you think about… everything.”
“So what’re you saying?” Will tenses, the beginning of hope bleeding into his chest. Maybe he's dreaming. There's no way this is happening, he could never deserve this. “That this whole time, you’ve…”
“Been lying too? Yeah. I thought that if I used hate, pushed it down, it’d make it go away. I thought if I pushed you away, I wouldn’t feel the way I do.” Mike’s hand tightens on his arm, his eyes intently searching his instead of avoiding them like he'd done just a few seconds prior.
“I… thought I loved Eleven. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I was just hurting her by pretending that I cared about her as more than a friend. Hurting both of you to save myself. So, I- I broke up with her. I told her that I realized it just wasn’t how I really felt. She’s my friend, and you were my best friend, and… I’ve watched both of you suffer because of me. Because I couldn’t just be honest.”
For a moment he hesitates, before he slides his hand down and holds Will's tightly. It's warm. He missed this. “I’m supposed to be the heart. I’m realizing now that I’ve shattered yours instead.”
Will tears up instantly. He told himself he wouldn't cry, but he was never good at keeping it down when it came to Mike. “I never got over you. Not really. I was planning on saying it was just a crush, that it didn’t mean anything, but I can’t.” A warm tear rolls down his cheek, hitting his shirt louder than it should. “Not if Vecna kills me, or you, or anyone. He told me he would, he- he told me that if I died, it’d all be over. I wouldn’t have to worry, because I wouldn’t be around to dissapoint anyone any longer. That I wouldn’t have to be such a fuck-up.”
Mike grips his hand tighter, a stubborn set to his jaw. “You’re not a fuck-up, Will. If you are, then we both are. When this final fight happens, I’m not going to let him take you. We’re going to live. Do you hear me? We’re going to live. You and me, Will the Wise and Mike the Paladin, are going to march up there and send him back to lowest level of the Abyss. Down lower than even Lolth would go. But I promise, we’re going to be alive tomorrow.”
For a moment, Mike pauses, watching the tears fall down his face. His free hand twitches. Instead of pointing it out, he pulls a smile and nudges him with his shoulder. “Maybe go bother your friend Robin at Enzo’s?”
“…yeah. It’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” Will tears up even worse, trying to match his energy. He knows that Mike is just trying to cheer him up, to keep him from breaking down. It's not working. Against his better judgement, he starts to cry harder, and Mike's eyes finally show worry. Gentle hands reach out and pull him into a hug that feels years overdue, forcing ugly sobs from his chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Mike's voice is uncharacteristically apologetic, he holds onto him tight, burying his cheek against his hair. Will clings to his shoulders, trying to calm himself and failing.
“I wish I could take back all that shit I said to you before, that I could tell you then how much I really love you. I wish I could tell myself how much you’re in love with me.” Love? That spurs a pitiful whimper from Will's throat. He's in love with him. He loves him. He feels like he could throw up and float as high as the radio tower all at once.
Warm tears land on the back of his neck. Mike's crying too. “I’m never going to be able to make it up to you, not all the way, but I’m going to try. Because before anything, you were my friend, and friends don’t leave eachother out to dry, especially not when they start to mean more. So much more.”
Will's trembling, but he forces himself to speak. “Mike, you're not just saying that to make me feel better, right? You're not just lying to me?” He can't help the sob that rips out of him. “I can't take it again.”
Mike pulls back enough to look at him, dark eyes full of silent tears. He presses his forehead against his, soft hands cupping his face. “I'm not, Will. There is something after this for us, and I am in love with you. I am in love with you. I'll say it until you really believe it. I'll say it for the rest of our lives. Vecna is not going to keep me away from you anymore.”
For a split moment it feels like his heart stops. Will presses his forehead harder against Mike's and tightens his hold on his shoulders. “Okay. Okay. You're in love with me, and we're not gonna die, and there's something for me after this. For the both of us.”
Mike hesitates before he dodges up and gently kisses Will on the temple. It's indirect, but it still sends a flood of warmth through his body.
“For the both of us.”