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One of the things that Scorpius loved most about Albus was how he always pushed him to do things far more daring that he would ever have considered without him. That was why they were sat in the Slytherin Common Room alone at 3am drinking Firewhisky and Butterbeer which Albus had somehow managed to smuggle in. Scorpius had no idea how Albus had been able to get it. Somehow he always seemed to have an endless supply of food, and Scorpius hadn’t quite dared to ask him where he got it from for fear of finding out he was doing something dangerous. Scorpius much preferred to live in blissful ignorance.
“Why do our dads hate each other?” whined Albus, clunking his bottle of Firewhisky on the table. They were sitting on the floor opposite each other with their legs crossed, and Scorpius found himself admiring the way Albus’ face was so expressive. “I want to see you in the summer, but I can’t because they’re being poops.”
“Did you really just call our dads ‘poops’?” Scorpius snorted. “What are you, twelve?”
“Actually, I’m eleven, jerk,” Albus slurred, his hand holding the bottle shooting out to point at Scorpius accusingly. “Which makes you a creep.”
“What?” Scorpius asked. His fuzzy brain was slightly slow from the alcohol, and he couldn’t quite keep up with Albus’ ramblings.
“Because I’m eleven,” Albus repeated in a condescending voice.
“You’re not actually eleven though.”
“Duh, genius,” said Albus taking another swig of his drink. “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”
“I am the smart one,” Scorpius protested, and he watched as Albus tried to supress his smile.
“You wish!” Albus said loudly.
“Shut up, Albus, someone’s going to hear you.”
“Why do I care? I’m eleven. You’re the one giving me alcohol. Illegally.”
“Albus we’re both fifteen which means we’re both drinking this illegally. Besides, you’re the one who got it.”
“Whatever,” he said grumpily, pushing the empty bottle aside to grab another Firewhisky with his left hand. For some reason, Scorpius found it endearing that Albus was left-handed. It was another thing he loved about Albus, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. It just made him… different. It meant when they sat next to each other in their classes, Albus always sat on his left so they didn’t elbow each other when they were writing. It was one of the small things that made Scorpius treasure their friendship. Although, Scorpius did have to deal with Albus’ constant complaints about his ink smudging on the paper as he was writing.
“Why are you staring at my hand?” Albus asked accusingly.
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not.”
“Whatever. Now who’s acting like they’re twelve?”
“I thought you were eleven.”
“Piss off.”
“You love me, really,” Scorpius insisted.
“No, I really don’t.”
“Do I really mean so little to you?” Scorpius placed a hand on his heart, acting mock-offended.
“You’re the one who has a crush on my cousin,” Albus mumbled into his bottle, his lower-lip sticking out to rest on top of it.
“I do not have a crush on your cousin.”
“You so do,” said Albus. “It’s weird though. Rose is a poop.”
“You can’t just call everyone poops.”
“Can too.”
“Right,” Scorpius sighed, rolling his eyes. “No use arguing with an eleven year old.”
“You do fancy Rose though.”
“No, I really don’t,” Scorpius said truthfully.
“Who do you fancy then?” Albus asked taking a swig of his drink and grimacing as it burned down his throat. Albus had drunk considerably more than Scorpius.
“No one,” Scorpius said.
“Liar.”
“What?”
“I said ‘liar’.”
“Yeah, I heard you. Why do you think I’m lying?”
“Because you just are.”
“But why?”
“You always mumble stuff in your sleep.”
“I… what?” Scorpius asked, feeling his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.
“Don’t look so shocked,” Albus giggled. “I can’t understand what you say.”
Scorpius felt his worry lift from his shoulders. “How do you know I’m talking about a girl, then?”
“Never said it had to be a girl, did I?”
“What do you mean?”
“You might be gay, mightn’t you?” Albus said nonchalantly, taking another swig. Scorpius watched as his face screwed up when it burned down his throat, before realising what Albus had said.
“Wait, gay?”
“It’s where you like guys instead of girls.”
“I know what gay is, Albus,” Scorpius shot at him.
“No need to get so touchy about it. I’m not going to judge you, am I?” Albus said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Why not?” asked Scorpius, feeling strangely… hopeful all of a sudden.
“You’re my best friend.”
“Oh. Right,” said Scorpius, looking down at his drink and taking a sip. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Why did he want Albus to be gay so badly?
“No need to sound so upset about it,” Albus giggled, and Scorpius couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his laugh. It was infectious, and always had been. It annoyed Scorpius, actually, because it meant that whenever he was in a mood with Albus for whatever reason, all Albus had to do was laugh to make him smile. It did help a lot when his mother, Astoria, had died, though. Albus had really helped him through that, and he would never be able to thank him enough.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Albus, and Scorpius looked up to see Albus was staring at him intensely, eyes narrowed as though trying to read his mind. His face was that of such concentration that Scorpius couldn’t help but laugh.
“Just how stupid you are.”
“Hey!” Albus exclaimed, offended.
“I’m kidding,” said Scorpius. He wanted to tell Albus how thankful he was, all of a sudden. He could feel himself starting to get emotional. “I was just thinking about how you’ve helped me so much since we’ve met. Like, when my mother died. Everything. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to get sappy,” said Albus jokingly, but he spoke softly. “Honestly, you’ve helped me a lot too. I was so glad when you got put in Slytherin, because it meant I didn’t have to worry about which house I would be put in.”
“Really?” Scorpius asked.
“Yep. James teases me about it a lot, but honestly I don’t care because I have you.”
Instinctively, Scorpius reached his hand out across the table and grasped hold of Albus’, squeezing it. “Thank you.”
Albus beamed at him. “That’s okay. You mean a lot to me.”
Why were these words sending butterflies through Scorpius’ stomach? Why was he so nervous? Why did he not want to let go of Albus’ hand? Perhaps Albus was right? Maybe Scorpius was gay? Maybe he was in love with Albus? Oh, Merlin, no, that wouldn’t be good. He was almost certain that Albus didn’t have any romantic feelings for him, and the last thing Scorpius wanted was to ruin the friendship with the only real friend he’d ever had. Just because Albus was telling him he meant a lot to him, that didn’t mean he fancied him.
The more Scorpius thought about it, the more he realised that he really did have a crush on Albus. He tried not to visibly freak out and slowly tried to pull his hand away from Albus’, but Albus wouldn’t let go.
“What’s wrong, Scorp? You look like you’ve seen a Dementor,” Albus asked softly, gripping Scorpius’ hand tighter. Scorpius’ stomach fluttered at Albus calling him Scorp. No one else had ever called him Scorp since the time he had thrown a tantrum about it when he was seven, but for some reason he loved it whenever Albus said it. It made him feel cared about.
“Nothing,” mumbled Scorpius, taking a sip of his drink. His head was spinning.
“You sure? You can tell me anything,” said Albus. Scorpius shook his head.
“No. No, it’s fine, honestly,” said Scorpius.
“How about I’ll tell you a secret, and then you tell me?”
Scorpius was intrigued to hear the secret, but he didn’t particularly want to tell Albus about what he’d been thinking. The curiosity must have shown in Scorpius’ eyes, because Albus grinned at him.
“It’s a fair trade,” Albus pointed out, letting go of Scorpius’ hand and the boys pulled them away from each other. “A secret for a secret.”
“I don’t want to tell you,” Scorpius said warily, knowing that Albus would be determined to get it out of him.
“Okay, well, I’ll tell you mine anyway,” said Albus. “But you can’t tell anyone. You’re the first person I’ve ever, ever, ever told this so you have to shh.” He pressed a finger against his lips and giggled, causing Scorpius to grin.
“I promise.”
“Cross your heart?”
“Hope to die,” Scorpius vowed, drawing a cross on his chest with his finger.
“No, no, don’t do that,” complained Albus. “I don’t want you to die.”
“I won’t because I won’t tell anyone.”
“I… okay, fine,” said Albus. There was a pause as Scorpius looked at Albus expectantly.
“Well?” he encouraged. “Are you going to tell me?”
“Yes… I just… I’m preparing myself,” said Albus, all of a sudden deadly serious. Scorpius looked at him worriedly.
“I’m not going to judge you. I promise.”
“I know, it’s just… it’s just weird to say it out loud,” Albus slurred his words. “Okay. Okay. Right. Here I go. Telling you my secret. Right now. Telling you that… that…” Albus gulped. “I think I might be… I mean, I don’t really know for sure, but I think I might possibly be quite gay,”
Scorpius felt his heart beating in his throat.
“Gay?”
“Quite gay,” corrected Albus.
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“I… wow, I never would have guessed,” Scorpius said.
“Can I kiss you?” Albus blurted suddenly.
“What?” asked Scorpius. Was this a dream? The room was spinning strangely.
“Please. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just think it would be nice for me to… confirm it. Unless it’s weird. You know what? Forget it. I’m sorry, I just-”
“I’ll kiss you,” Scorpius said suddenly, interrupting Albus’ babbling. He watched as Albus’ eyes widened.
“Really?” he asked, breathless with disbelief. “It won’t be weird?”
“Nope. No weirdness,” Scorpius agreed. “Just… testing? Right?”
“Yeah,” agreed Albus. “So… uh.”
“I guess we should…?” Scorpius shuffled so he was on his knees.
“Yeah.” Albus did the same and leaned forwards slightly. Scorpius copied so that their faces were only a few centimetres apart. Scorpius could feel Albus’ ragged breathing against his lips already, and he was certain Albus could feel his. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“Positive,” Scorpius confirmed.
Albus slowly leaned forwards over the table, giving Scorpius every chance to back away, but he didn’t. He could feel butterflies in his stomach as he watched Albus’ face get closer and closer to his. He closed his eyes…
The next thing he felt was Albus’ soft lips tentatively pressing against his own, and that was the moment Scorpius realised he was completely in love with Albus. The butterflies in his stomach stilled to a warm, golden pool and he felt as though all his senses were cut off and everything was Albus. He found himself bringing up his hand to cup Albus’ jaw gently, and he felt as Albus’ hands crawled their way onto Scorpius’ shoulders and pulled him closer. He tilted his head to the right so he could access Albus’ mouth more easily, and found himself opening it in a gasp for air. Albus seemed to take this as an invitation, and opened his too, pressing his tongue into Scorpius’ mouth. Scorpius mirrored the movement, and trembled as he felt their tongues sliding together shamelessly as they pulled each other closer.
All of a sudden, Albus seemed to try and jerk Scorpius closer towards him, which resulted in Scorpius bashing his hip painfully against the table.
“Ow!” he cried out in pain. The boys jumped apart and Scorpius gripped hold of his hip. He would most certainly have a bruise there tomorrow.
He looked up at Albus, to see him still kneeling there, staring vacantly at the spot where Scorpius had been a moment ago before he had doubled over in pain. Scorpius watched as Albus brought his fingers to his face and pressed them gently against his lips. Scorpius forgot all about his pain for a moment, and just stared at Albus, his expression unreadable for possibly the first time in his life.
Scorpius was worried for a moment. Had he been a bad kisser? Had Albus realised he wasn’t actually gay, and that it had all been a mistake? They had promised it wouldn’t be weird, but what if it was? What if Albus changed his mind and decided they could no longer be friends?
Scorpius could feel himself starting to panic. But then Albus whispered two words
“Definitely gay,” he breathed, his eyes flicking to glance down at Scorpius, suddenly realising he was still crouched in pain. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah it’s fine, don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Albus said worriedly, shuffling around the table on his knees to check on Scorpius. Scorpius straightened up.
“Honestly, Al, it’s fine,” he said, not being able to help the grin that was on his face. “So, you’re gay then?”
“Definitely,” said Albus. “Either that or you’re feminine enough to trick me into thinking I’m gay.”
“Shut up,” said Scorpius, grinning as he shoved Albus in the shoulder. He was surprised when Albus toppled over to the ground at the light push. “Oh, Merlin, Al, I’m sorry…” he trailed off. “What are you doing?”
Albus was giggling hysterically while lying on the floor, and Scorpius couldn’t help but grin at the sight. He was sprawled on his back, a huge smile on his face as his body shook with laughter.
“I think we should go to bed,” Scorpius said, trying to sound reasonable, but not being able to control his laughter either. He got to his feet.
“At least take me out to dinner first,” Albus said through sharp breaths.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” said Scorpius rolling his eyes. He held out his hand for Albus to grab. “Come on.”
Albus grasped hold of his hand and Scorpius helped to unsteadily pull him into a standing position. They both stumbled a little and giggled. Scorpius pulled out his wand and cast a quick spell to vanish the bottles as Albus threw his arm over his shoulder. Scorpius snaked his hand around Albus’ waist to support him as they stumbled out of the Common Room towards their dorm.
Albus was still giggling, and Scorpius had to repeatedly shush him to remind him that others were asleep. Every time he did, Albus pressed his lips together innocently before bursting into giggles again. He threw his other arm around Scorpius so that they were looped around Scorpius’ neck, and pressed a wet, sloppy kiss to his cheek. Scorpius felt his face flush.
“Sorry! I’m just sooo gay,” Albus explained, nuzzling his face into Scorpius’ neck. Scorpius tried to ignore the butterflies re-emerging in his stomach and focus on actually walking in a straight line.
“I don’t mind,” Scorpius said honestly. He actually wanted Albus to kiss him and invade his personal space even more. Albus tripped over his own feet for a second, and Scorpius tightened his grip around his waist to help him right himself.
“Do you mind thiiiis?” Albus asked, drawing out the last word before planting another sloppy kiss on Scorpius’ cheek.
“Nope,” said Scorpius grinning.
“What about thiiiis?” he planted a quick kiss on Scorpius’ lips. Scorpius looked down at him, still grinning.
“Nope. Don’t mind at all.”
“How about thiiiiis?” asked Albus, giggling as he grabbed hold of Scorpius’ face and pulled it towards him and kissing him again, sloppily poking his tongue wherever it could reach in his mouth. It was a terrible kiss, but Scorpius loved it.
“Doesn’t bother me,” said Scorpius a little breathlessly after Albus pulled away. Albus huffed in frustration at his friend’s inability to be annoyed.
“If anyone was watching right now,” slurred Albus. “They’d think you were the gay one.”
“Says the boy making out with his male best friend.”
“Well, you’re not resisting,” shrugged Albus.
“It’s because I like it,” Scorpius blurted, before feeling his face heat up. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said that. After all, Albus being gay didn’t necessarily mean he fancied Scorpius.
“Good. I do too,” Albus said, before placing another sloppy kiss on Scorpius’ neck. Scorpius shuddered a little in pleasure, and Albus grabbed his face again and pressed his lips quickly and repeatedly against Scorpius’ so it wasn’t enough to fully satisfy Scorpius. Then Albus stumbled and Scorpius had to catch him before he hit the floor. “My hero!” exclaimed Albus, wrapping his arms around Scorpius’ neck and kissing him full on the mouth with such energy that Scorpius almost fell over.
“Albus,” Scorpius murmured, looking down at his best friend once he’d stopped kissing him. “You’re drunk.”
“So are you,” Albus pointed out sulkily.
“Not as drunk as you,” Scorpius said.
“You still haven’t told me your secret,” Albus accused.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Scorpius said vaguely as they finally reached the room to their dorm,
“I want to know now,” Albus said decisively, stepping away from Scorpius and folding his arms, forming a grumpy expression on his face that Scorpius could see right through.
Perhaps Scorpius should just tell him now? Chances are, tomorrow he wouldn’t have the courage he had now from the alcohol. And perhaps Albus wouldn’t remember? If he reacted badly, Scorpius could just say he must have imagined it. “Pleeeeeeease,” Albus begged.
“Fine. I do fancy someone.”
“I knew it!” Albus sang triumphantly. “Who?” Scorpius gulped.
“You,” Scorpius said, and he watched as Albus’ face morphed into a strange, confused expression.
“Me?”
“Yes."
“You’re gay too?”
“Apparently.”
Albus looked quizzically at Scorpius as though trying to figure out whether he was lying or not.
“Are you sure?” asked Albus, sounding genuinely confused. “I mean, I’m not that interesting.”
“Are you joking?” Scorpius couldn’t help but let out a laugh, despite his nerves making him feel nauseous.
“Do you really have a crush on me?” asked Albus, looking up at Scorpius with wide eyes.
Scorpius gulped. He had to stick to this, but in all honestly he’d expected Albus to just continue giggling and kissing him. “Yeah?” he said, but it came out like more of a question.
All of a sudden, Albus lunged at him and pulled him into a hug. It took Scorpius a moment to respond because he was so surprised, but when he did he wrapped his arms around the shorter boy’s waist and buried his head in his shoulder.
“I do too,” whispered Albus, his warm breath tickling Scorpius’ neck.
“What?” asked Scorpius, not daring to believe it. Albus pulled out of the hug so his hands rested on Scorpius’ shoulders.
“I have a crush on you, too,” he said, and leaned in to kiss Scorpius again, this time gently. Scorpius’ hands slid to rest on Albus’ waist, and his eyes closed to savour every second.
In that moment, he didn’t care that Albus might only be saying all this because of the alcohol. He just wanted to live in this perfect evening forever. Kissing Albus felt like the most natural thing in the world, and Scorpius never wanted to stop.
Eventually they pulled gently away from each other, and Scorpius was taken aback at the softness in Albus’ beautiful green eyes he had always loved, and he forgot how to breathe for a moment.
“Thank you,” he blurted out. Albus giggled.
“Anytime,” said Albus, poking Scorpius on the nose.
Despite Scorpius’ spinning head and nausea that night, he had never felt happier.