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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU
After years without speaking and a professional relationship they believed to be long dead, Rafael Barba and Olivia Benson began talking again. At first, it was to consult on a case at Fin and Carisi’s request; after all, Barba was brilliant, even if the Wheatley case still weighed heavily on them.
Over time, the wound hurt less for Olivia, until she began to question the decision she had made years before.
Soon, because of the legal guidance Carisi kept requesting from Barba, their meetings became more frequent—first strictly professional, then driven by the need to see each other, even though neither of them was willing to admit it.
Carisi knew perfectly well those consultations could have continued over video calls, but Rafael didn’t mind spending a few extra dollars every week, flying first class just to see her.
It was in April when they decided to resume their relationship, much to the displeasure of some—like Elliot Stabler, who hated seeing Liv with Rafael.
Rafael Barba’s return to New York caused quite a stir. McCoy wanted him on his team, and this time he wouldn’t let him leave. He would start working for him in January.
Rafael accepted, feeling that now that his world was finally in order, he was ready to take the next step—hoping Olivia would be willing to take it with him.
It was still early when Rafael Barba woke up, feeling renewed. The air seemed cleaner, the weather perfect. Today felt like the perfect day.
He was looking out the window when his phone vibrated. As soon as he saw the name on the screen, he smiled.
“Liv.”
“Hi, Rafa. I hope I didn’t wake you, but…” Olivia fell silent.
“But…?”
“I won’t be able to have dinner with you tonight. The Lancaster case got complicated.” On the other end of the line, Liv paced back and forth. “I know I promised we’d spend this first Christmas together, but…
“What do you need?”
“Please, Rafael, you’re not a fairy godmother.”
“Just tell me, Benson.”
“A warrant—Carisi’s been trying to get it for two days—the dinner already planned, and if you manage all that, that Noah has enough patience to wait for me. He’ll be spending Christmas with Amanda.”
Rafael listened to every word Olivia said.
“Give me until noon, and you’ll have your warrant. Dinner might take a bit longer.”
Olivia smiled softly.
“Rafael, you’re unemployed. I don’t think you can do much.”
“Liv, that won’t be for long. I’ve only been off a week, and I start with McCoy in January.”
“I know, future judge. I’ll call you tonight, and maybe tomorrow afternoon, if we’re lucky, we can see each other and celebrate Christmas.”
“I love you, Liv.”
Olivia only sighed.
From the other end of the line, Rafael heard her breathing.
“I’ll call you later, Captain.”
Olivia hung up the phone with a bittersweet smile. Her day was only just beginning.
___
Rafael wasn’t about to give up. Throughout the morning, he reached out to old contacts, feeling the pressure build with every call. Judge Ross was tough and demanding—but Rafael was tougher. His name still carried weight in the city, and with his new position, even more so. He disliked using a title to get his way, but for Olivia, he would.
He got it—the warrant Olivia had been desperately waiting for—and there were only thirty minutes left until noon.
He drove through New York’s congested streets, already thinking about how to surprise Olivia by taking things a step further.
On another level, he just hoped it would work.
He waited a block away from the precinct when he called Carisi.
“Sonny.”
“Rafael.”
“Sonny, this isn’t a courtesy call. I’ve got the warrant.”
“Rafael—how did you do it?”
“I got it, but I need a favor in return.”
“I’m nearby.”
Just as he had promised, he handed the warrant to Sonny. In exchange, Carisi would get Olivia’s apartment keys from Amanda.
“Rafael, don’t you think that’s an invasion of private property? Liv will stop talking to me for life—not to mention what Amanda will do to me.”
“Just trust me.”
Sonny hesitated, feeling like he was betraying Liv, but the look in Rafael’s eyes told him otherwise.
“Just this once, don’t tell Liv anything.”
“Barba… only because I know you love Liv, I won’t say a word. I’ll see you in two hours outside Liv’s apartment.”
Sonny ran his hands over his head, wondering how he would convince Amanda—or if luck would be on his side and he could distract her somehow.
_____
Rafael knew he probably looked ridiculous at Home Depot, comparing boxes and piling white and silver string lights—and a few gold ones—into his shopping cart. It looked like he was planning to decorate the entire city.
He remembered how much Liv loved candles and picked out several of those too.
Every detail was chosen with her in mind.
The checkout lines were endless, and all he could do was hope time wouldn’t run out.
He had never done anything like this before.
But then again, he had never met a woman like Liv.
His last-minute shopping didn’t end there. He bought flowers as well—elegant white lilies and a few red roses.
Traffic was awful, and Rafael arrived a little late to meet Sonny.
Sonny was waiting outside, checking his watch and his phone.
“Finally, Rafael. I thought you weren’t going to make it.”
“Do you have any idea how bad traffic is in this city at this time of year?”
Sonny glanced at all of Rafael’s bags.
“Need help? What are you planning?”
“It’s for Liv.”
“Do you have the keys?” Rafael asked.
“Yes,” Sonny said, holding them up.
“Good. Help me.”
Soon, the two men were hauling armfuls of paper bags, riding the elevator up and down several times.
“Are you planning on moving in with Liv and Noah?”
“No. I’m planning something better.”
As Sonny set down the last bag, Rafael asked thoughtfully.
“Carisi, do you have anything to do tonight?”
“No. Nothing at all,” he replied sarcastically.
With a bit of Sonny’s help, Rafael began placing lights throughout Liv’s apartment.
A few hours later, everything was finished.
“Impressive, Barba. Have you ever thought about becoming an interior decorator?”
Rafael just smiled.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re planning? I think I can guess.”
“Maybe tomorrow you’ll know. For today, it’s just for Liv.”
_____
A few minutes later, Sonny left.
Rafael let himself sink onto the couch; his hands ached, as did his arms.
The clock read six in the evening, and dinner was still missing.
He slipped his hand into his pocket and found the small red box.
He smiled. That was enough to keep him going.
Meanwhile, Olivia sat in her office thinking about Rafael. She ran her hands through her hair, her mind overflowing with conflicting thoughts. Had she really failed? How could she not keep such a simple promise when he had done so much for her?
He had given up so much for her—his brilliant career in Washington, his stability—just to start over in New York. She wondered if she herself was a mistake in Rafael’s life.
“It was just a dinner, Olivia. You can’t even manage that.”
Even with the warrant Carisi had miraculously obtained, she hadn’t managed to finish in time. It was already 9:30 at night.
She stared at her phone, hesitating, lost in her own insecurities, finally slumping against her desk with her arms stretched out.
It took her a few minutes to gather the courage to call Rafael, until at last, with a sigh, she pressed his number.
“Rafa…” Her voice broke.
“Liv,” he answered softly.
“Rafa… I don’t know if I deserve you, after all this…”
“Liv, I just want to see you. This isn’t about what we deserve or don’t deserve. I just… want to be with you.”
There was a moment of silence, until Olivia, hesitantly, dared to speak.
“Should I see you at my apartment…?”
“I don’t have anything prepared—just a bottle of wine.”
“That’s enough for me,” Rafael said with a smile.
“Thank you, Rafa.”
Outside her apartment, Rafael was waiting for her. The moment she saw him, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders just by looking at him.
His gaze brought her a sense of calm.
She walked toward him slowly, carrying a bag of Chinese takeout in her hands.
She bit her lip and let herself fall into Rafael’s arms.
He simply smiled and held her close.
The familiar scent of her perfume soothed him.
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, not wanting to let go—wanting to stay like that just a little longer.
“Chinese food, Captain?” he teased, glancing at the bags.
“I didn’t have time,” she said softly. “But if you’d rather, I can call Amanda and we can go to her place for Christmas.”
Rafael smiled, thinking his plan was more than perfect.
“You really won’t want to go anywhere after you see this.”
He gently pulled away from Liv.
“Let me help you—I’ll open the door,” he said, taking the bags from her.
Olivia waited. A strong headache throbbed at her temples, mixed with embarrassment as she looked at the takeout bags.
Rafael slipped the key into the lock and opened the door, immediately reaching for the light switch.
Olivia stood a step behind him, massaging her temples.
“Welcome home,” Rafael said, his hands trembling slightly.
Olivia still had her eyes closed when she caught the calming scent of vanilla.
Soft lights illuminated the living room, creating the perfect atmosphere. Flowers adorned the space.
Outside, the night was cold, but inside there was warmth.
The Christmas tree stood beautifully lit, a quiet reminder of the season filled with promises.
“You…” She was speechless. Tears threatened in her eyes; she knew Rafael was a man of surprises—but this…
Her heart raced. For a moment her legs felt weak, and she steadied herself against the wall.
The table, though simple, was beautifully set. Wine glasses stood ready, and candles flickered softly, their light dancing.
He took her hand and led her to the table. Olivia took in every detail.
“Rafa, I don’t deserve this…”
She fought back tears, clenching her hands into fists.
“You deserve this and more, Olivia Benson.”
She felt small in the face of it all.
He handed her a glass of wine, which she accepted.
Slowly, she began to understand—or at least she thought she did.
“You’re the one who got the warrant, and—”
He gently placed a finger over her lips.
“Shh, Captain.”
Olivia’s eyes never left Rafael.
Seated at the table, he held her hand. Hers trembled slightly, though she tried to steady herself with slow breaths.
Rafael smiled, knowing she would need more than breathing for what was coming.
“I hope you don’t accuse me of trespassing.”
Liv smiled softly.
“I don’t think so… You’ve already done more than I ever expected tonight. I feel like I owe you.”
Rafael looked at her with quiet intensity.
“There is one way,” he said. “Would you grant my Christmas wish?”
“Yes, Rafa. If I can, I always will.”
He squeezed her hand tighter. Olivia felt the warmth of his skin, a sharp contrast to her own cold fingers.
Their eyes met for a brief moment.
With his free hand, he reached into his pocket and felt the small red box.
“Olivia,” he said, his voice firm yet gentle. “I’ve loved you in silence for a long time, and I think it’s time to be honest with you… Will you marry me?”
He let go of her hand just long enough to open the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring shaped like a snowflake, shining as brightly as their smiles.
He took her hand again and, with trembling fingers—hers or his, it was hard to tell—slid the ring onto her finger. Olivia understood what he was offering, what he meant.
She didn’t know whether to look at the ring or at him.
Their breaths mingled.
Olivia stood frozen, her heart pounding, her breathing uneven, Christmas lights reflecting softly on her face as her heart raced.
Should she say something? Her mind filled with questions—she wasn’t perfect, she had failed him so many times, he had waited for her.
But all she could do was look at him. That look—the one that always brought her peace.
Did he really love her that way?
Rafael watched her, waiting for her answer, holding her hand gently.
The silence stretched between them.
She reached up and touched his face, feeling his skin, seeing the light in Rafael’s eyes—the answer already there. A shy but determined smile formed on her lips.
“I…”