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It has been two months since Phainon died in a tragic accident.
Mydei still could not believe it. Phainon was gone, he was no longer with him, Mydei would never see him again. It was surreal, Mydei’s brain couldn't process this reality.
Since Phainon’s death, Mydei had lost himself. He could hardly do anything, could barely eat or sleep, he would spend most of his days quietly looking out a window, he would cry multiple times a day, he would listen back to Phainon’s voice messages, look at pictures and videos of him on his phone— anything to try and remember. Remember his voice, his face, his smile. Mydei had to remember.
Mydei lost all reason to keep going, he hadn't been taking care of himself, not even a little bit, and if it weren't for Cipher, his childhood friend, he would be dead by now. Mydei really wouldn't hate the idea, he would at least be reunited with his beloved that way.
But Cipher refused to let that happen. She moved in with him and made sure he had at least one proper meal every day, she helped him shower every other day, she cleaned the place regularly, she did her best to keep her friend and his baby around.
Because yes, Mydei was pregnant.
He found out about one week after Phainon's death. It only made things worse, because not only did Mydei lose his beloved, he couldn't even tell Phainon that their baby was on the way before he was gone, Phainon was gone without even knowing about it, and that was killing Mydei. How he wished he could've celebrated the news with him, could've seen his reaction to it, would Phainon cry? Would he pass out from happiness? Mydei would never know.
He really wanted to die. But the baby… Phainon's baby. He couldn't do that to their child. Despite knowing he had to live on for its sake, he didn't have it in him to do anything, which was why Cipher moved in, and he was very thankful.
So there Mydei was, getting dressed to leave the house for the first time in two months, on the day of the anniversary of Phainon’s death.
“Are you sure you can go alone?” Cipher asked in a calm voice, which was very uncharacteristic of her, but since the accident, her vibe had completely shifted, she was more like a mother to Mydei than an annoying older sister. “Yeah. I'm fine.” Mydei replied quietly, voice hoarse from all the sobbing he had done over the past two months, though the crying sessions started getting more spaced out as of late, Cipher was glad to see it was not every day anymore, at the very least.
“Okay, call me if you need me, I'll be waiting here.” She stated, then walked out of Mydei’s room, leaving him to finish getting ready. His wardrobe wasn't quite ready for a baby bump, though at barely two months, it was hardly there yet, it looked more like he was stuffed full of dessert. Yet, he knew he would have to go shopping for better fitted clothes soon, but that was a problem for the Mydei two months from now.
He said goodbye to Cipher and walked into the garage to get his car, but when he got there, he saw something he hadn’t prepared himself to see. Phainon’s car was still there, the two cars were parked side by side, untouched for the past two months.
Mydei's mind was in so much of a haze he couldn't think properly, so he had forgotten the car would be there, and wasn't prepared to see it. Everything that belonged to Phainon carried memories— all different memories, each item evoked a different feeling in Mydei. He felt a lump in his throat as he slowly walked closer to the cars, getting hit with flashbacks of all the late nights where they got into Phainon’s car to go out for dinner, or the early mornings when they stuffed their luggage inside the car and left for a road trip. He remembered the kisses, the hand holding, the sex— his car had witnessed so much of their love, many years of memories engraved on every nook and cranny of the vehicle.
How was Mydei supposed to just accept it was all over? Phainon was hardly in his thirties, they didn't even get to spend the first decade together, and he was already gone? It was so unfair.
Mydei got into his car after a while, but before leaving, he cried. It was impossible not to, no matter how much he tried to compose himself, to accept the reality, to move on. No matter how much he knew Phainon would want him to live, not just survive, but live. Phainon would want him to eat three meals a day, to sleep eight hours a night, to go out with friends, to have fun. Mydei knew this, he knew this and yet…
Life had lost all meaning without Phainon. Mydei had never considered a life without him when he was alive, back then even the thought of a break up was horrifying.
“There's no breaking up for us, Phainon. If you're tired of me, sit down.” He would say to him, making both of them laugh cheerily, and Phainon never protested, he even agreed.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Mydeimos. The only thing to rid you of me is death.”
Mydei cursed the day those words left Phainon’s mouth. However unreasonable it may sound, he couldn't help but think that saying that had jinxed it, that maybe if he hadn't said that, none of this would've happened. He knew that made no sense, but he couldn't help the anger and sorrow bubbling up in him.
It was all so unfair.
Mydei finally drove away after he composed himself, and made his way to the graveyard where Phainon was buried.
When he arrived, parked, and got out of the car, his body started feeling heavier with every step. It was… terrifying.
He had felt like it was about time he visited, Phainon must've been lonely all this time, which was why Mydei came here today. He was sure he would feel okay seeing it, he thought he was ready, but he was mistaken. This was Mydei’s biggest challenge yet.
Despite that, he forced himself into the graveyard, reminding himself that this was for Phainon, he had to visit him, because in the off chance he had some access to the world of the living, Mydei wanted him to know he hadn't forgotten about him, that he still loved him, and that he wanted to see him.
Mydei reached the grave and sat down on the grass. At first, he just looked at the gravestone quietly, almost dissociating, not sure what to do exactly. What do people even do when they visit their loved ones’ graves? He wouldn't know, the only dead person close to him was his father, and Mydei never liked him, never visited him, that man was a horrible person.
“Hello, love.” Mydei spoke at last, quiet and soft. “It's me, It's Mydei. Hello Phainon.” He added, reaching up to caress the gravestone gently, running his hand on it delicately like it was so fragile it would break at the touch. Mydei's heart sank and he felt tears welling up in his eyes when he let the words out and was faced with the reality that there would be no answer. He knew this, of course he knew Phainon wouldn't answer, but experiencing it was another thing. Oh, it hurt so bad, to address his beloved and be met with complete silence.
The tears ran down his face despite his attempt at stopping them. He hated this, he hated having to live on without Phainon, hated how cruel it all was, hated that he couldn't change anything about it.
“I— I really miss you, Phainon…” Mydei managed out between sobs, the tears continuing to rain down no matter how much he wiped them. “I'm sorry I couldn't come see you sooner, it was… difficult. I wanted to, but I couldn't.” He added after a while, sniffling and wiping some more. “I can't believe you're gone….” It was too soon, too sudden. One day Mydei had a living breathing boyfriend he came back home to every day, and the next, that man was gone.
It was so silly. The one time Phainon didn't take his car and took the bus instead, he ended up in a traffic accident, even the bus driver died, along with most people on the bus that day. So much loss so quickly.
Mydei was angry. Angry at how unfair it all was, angry at the world, at fate, at the drivers involved, at the medics who couldn't save him, at the gods. He couldn't accept the reality, he couldn't be at peace with what happened. Why did they have to take him away from Mydei? He wanted to scream, to cry louder, he wanted to kill someone- anyone who may have played a part in this tragedy, big or small.
But Mydei just continued to wipe his face, trying to soothe himself, and ran his hand across the tombstone once again.
“I have something to tell you,” He spoke, voice broken and hoarse. “I'm pregnant, you're gonna be a dad.” He added, but that last part sent him into another fit of sobs again. Phainon wasn't here anymore, he isn't going to be a dad. Mydei wished he could dig him up and bring him back, the pain was too great, he just wanted his Phainon back.
“Why did you have to leave me….” He muttered after a while, his cries dying down again. It was always like this, he would sob uncontrollably for a few minutes, then collect himself, and it almost felt like he was in control and wouldn't lose his composure again, but he always did.
“I miss you so much… Why did you have to go and die on me. And now… I have to live on without you, because I know that's what you would've wanted, and our baby… I need to see our baby. But it's so, so lonely without you….” Mydei found himself blaming Phainon for dying. He knew it wasn't Phainon's fault at all, objectively he understood that, but there was this deep seated anger in him he didn't know where to direct. Phainon’s death felt like abandonment at times, even if that’s not what it was and Mydei knew it.
“I don't know how I'm gonna keep going without you…. It's so hard. Everyday is a battle…. I wake up and I remember you're not here anymore, I look at my belly and I'm reminded of our child who I will have to raise alone…. Nothing is worth living for…. Why did you leave me?” He rambled on, doing his best to contain his cries in order to speak, even if it sounded a little slurred.
Mydei couldn't stay at this graveyard for more than twenty minutes. After saying that, he stood up to leave. “I’m gonna go now, I'll see you soon, I love you.” He whispered to the gravestone as he leaned down right above it, then brought himself back up, and walked away.
Mydei continued to grieve for the next two months, no matter how much both he and Cipher had expected he would feel a little better after months have passed, it just never happened. Sure, he wasn't crying every day anymore, and he managed to cook his own meals on most days, or he tried, but he didn't have motivation for anything else. He was like a living corpse, doing the bare minimum for him and his baby to stay alive, and nothing more. Cipher couldn't help but worry, yet all she could do was stay with him- during the day she was at work, then she came back and checked on him, making sure he ate, cleaned himself, drank enough water. She would cook for both of them even when he cooked that day, she had to make sure there would be leftovers for him the next day in case he doesn't cook.
Mydei was always grateful and apologetic, he repeatedly told her he was fine on his own, that she should leave already and live her own life, but she refused, she knew Mydei was in no state to be alone, and she would stay with him for as long as that was the case.
“Did you eat today, little lion?” Cipher asked, peeking into Mydei’s room, a soft and cheerful smile on her face, doing her best to lift the man’s mood. She liked calling him ‘little lion’ since they were children, and the nickname stuck since then. “Yes I did actually.” Mydei answered from where he was sitting at his bedroom window, legs folded up high enough he could rest his forearms on his knees, but not so tight he pressed too hard on his belly, which was now visibly bigger.
Cipher smiled wider and hummed, then approached her best friend and handed him a little box of chocolates. “What is this for?” Mydei questioned when he took the box into his hands. “Pregnancy cravings? I know you like sweets, I thought I'd anticipate and get you some.” She said, then ruffled his hair softly. “Thank you.” Mydei whispered, and the faintest smile appeared on his lips, Cipher was very glad.
“Tomorrow we’re going shopping!” She exclaimed, enthusiastic but not loud. Mydei looked up at her, one eyebrow raised. “Your belly is getting bigger, soon you won't fit in any of your clothes, we need to buy you new stuff.” She explained, prompted by his expression.
“Oh, yeah, sure.” Mydei agreed, he realized he had forgotten he had been planning to do just that, around two months ago. Life made no sense anymore, he didn't know what was going on most days.
Mydei styled his signature braid on the side of his face, dressed up and ready to go shopping with Cipher. He made sure to do it this time, because he remembers how much Phainon used to like it, he would play with it when they were cuddled up in bed watching movies, and he liked to braid it for him sometimes. If Mydei can't just die and join his lover, then maybe he can try to honor Phainon’s memory any way he can instead.
The shopping went well, they took Cipher’s car to get there, it was a mall Mydei had never been to with Phainon before, and thankfully, he didn't see anything that reminded Mydei of him. It felt calculated, maybe Cipher had planned this perfectly so it wouldn't stir up memories for Mydei and make him break down, he was thankful if that was the case.
Another two months passed, Mydei’s belly grew large enough that he was feeling the weight now. His morning sickness was gone by now, but his cravings got stronger, so he found himself going out more often to go get the things he wanted, because he couldn't keep making Cipher do it all the time. Cipher wouldn't mind, but she was glad to see him go out, so she allowed it.
One day, as Mydei came back home from shopping for shrimp so he could cook it up later, he walked into his house only to be greeted by someone he didn't expect.
“Mom?”
“Mydei!” Gorgo exclaimed, teary eyed, and held her son into an embrace. The woman had been calling Mydei frequently this entire time, she cared deeply for her son, but she was stuck in a different country, and no matter what she did, she couldn’t fly to Okhema.
But apparently she had finally managed it. Mydei was glad, if he was honest with himself. “Hey mom. You ended up coming.” He whispered into her shoulder, hugging back with one arm because his other one was carrying the groceries he just got. “Of course, dear, I was doing everything I could to come here. I can't believe they refused my visa repeatedly for six months!” The woman said, slightly exasperated, then she gently broke off the hug and looked up at her much taller son. “I'm so happy to see you. You look well.”
“As well as a grieving pregnant widower can be.” Mydei reflexively said in response, sounding more flat and monotone than he had intended, it's like he was dead. “Sorry…”
“It's alright sweetheart, I won't fault you for feeling the way you do, ever. I can hardly imagine how hard it must've been for you.” Gorgo reassured him, patting his arms gently and smiling. Mydei hummed.
“Oh lookie here, if that isn't my grandbaby!” She exclaimed after a second, and leaned down to caress Mydei’s belly softly, addressing the baby. “How have you been, hm? Having fun swimming in there? Must be cozy!” She continued, coo'ing at the baby, and it made Mydei smile ever so slightly.
It was a little better now that Mydei’s mom was with him. Cipher was amazing, but having someone with him the whole day did a better job at distracting him from his sorrow. He couldn't just cry so often in front of his mother, he didn't want to worry her, and frankly, her presence made him want to cry less, being too distracted by the activities they would do together.
And yet, Mydei's grief never got easier. He continued to visit Phainon’s grave almost every week, he would tell him about the meals he had, the cravings he felt, he would let him know his belly was growing, and he would tell him of every doctor’s appointment he went to with Cipher and Gorgo. When the gender was revealed—a girl—he told him that too. But every visit, Mydei would break down in tears, going on about how unfair and cruel it all was. Even eight months after Phainon passed away, life continued to make no sense, and to have no meaning.
Mydei knew he would never move on. Part of him died with Phainon, and the other part was just waiting to die of old age.
Before he knew it, Mydei's due date was around the corner, and he watched as Gorgo and Cipher broke their backs to prepare for everything. He, however, was feeling too heavy to move or do anything, it was already hard enough without a physical weight pulling him down, but with this, he was certainly not moving unless he absolutely had to.
And so there he was in the hospital a few days later, pushing like his life depended on it,- maybe it did - squeezing his mother and best friend’s hands tightly as he did.
It was a gruesome thirty hours, but the delivery was a success.
For the entire time, all he could think about was how Phainon wasn't here for this. Their baby wouldn't get to see her father, Mydei wouldn't get to pick a name with him for her, she wouldn’t get to be raised by both of them. Half the labour pains and cries were because of these thoughts and feelings, weighing on him heavier than anything did before.
The nurse walked into the room after several minutes of the delivery, holding a tiny thing in her arms. “Hey mama, are you ready to see your baby girl? She's beautiful and she's healthy.” She spoke softly, slowly walking closer to the bed. Cipher and Gorgo stood up, very excited, smiling wide. Mydei nodded, he looked very exhausted, but he smiled ever so slightly, stretching his arms out to hold the baby. The nurse carefully handed her to him.
When Mydei held her, he felt something he hadn't felt before. An overwhelming mix of pure, intense love, awe, and wonder, coupled with an immense relief and protectiveness. He felt as if he instantly bonded with this new human who has just joined the world of the living. His eyes started watering. “I can't believe you were inside me just a few minutes ago, and now you're here in my arms.” Mydei whispered, bringing his little girl higher until his forehead was touching hers softly.
Cipher and Gorgo sat on the edge of the bed, both women already crying from the happiness and relief, both so grateful Mydei managed to make it this far despite everything that happened, yet, both saddened that Phainon couldn't be here for this. It was heart wrenching, and they knew it must've been worse for Mydei.
And it was. Yet, for once, another feeling was stronger. He cried, but it was only partly due to Phainon’s absence, the rest of it was happiness, relief, and overwhelming love. This baby girl is the result of Mydei and Phainon’s love, she has parts of her beloved in her, one day she will grow up to look like him, she carries his memory, she is proof that Phainon lived, and loved. She is Mydei’s greatest treasure, the apple of his eye. In that moment he swore to himself and to his late lover, he would love and protect their precious girl with everything he had.
“Audata,” Mydei started, looking at his daughter who was in Gorgo’s arms now, as Cipher held her little hand in hers, both women looked up at him when he spoke. “I'm naming her Audata, after Phainon’s late mother.” He finished, and the other two smiled softly, looked at each other and nodded. “It's beautiful, sweetheart.” Gorgo agreed.
Little Audata changed everything for Mydei. It wasn't always easy, postpartum was especially challenging, but thankfully he had his mother and best friend for support. But Mydei, for the first time since Phainon’s departure, wanted to live.
Waking up every day never stopped being difficult, life without Phainon was not the same, no matter how long it had been. Yet, he had something to live for now, someone, his and Phainon’s love child, their precious daughter, Mydei’s dearest, little Audata.
It had been three months since she was born, Mydei’s body was still in recovery, all he did was rest and breastfeed his baby, thankful to have his mother and best friend to take care of everything for him.
But it had been too long since he last spoke to Phainon, so today, he insisted on going to the graveyard.
“Let me go with you, dear. Please? I'm worried for you.” Gorgo tried convincing her son, but Mydei shook his head, refusing again, slipping into his coat, it was chilly this time of year. His time with Phainon was sacred, he didn't want anyone there, not even his mother.
Mydei hated being vulnerable. It took years to allow himself to relax and open up to Phainon, who had been so patient, so loving, so sweet. Mydei eventually ended up feeling safe enough to be emotional, talk about his feelings, to be vulnerable and open around him. It still was a challenge to do that with anyone else. Mydei’s mother was lovely, but she didn't understand everything, he couldn't bring himself to be the way he was with Phainon, with her. Or anyone, for that matter.
“I'll be fine on my own, mom. Don't worry.” He reassured, then without another word, left the house, before Gorgo could protest again.
That day, he told Phainon everything he had missed since the last time Mydei visited. The last month leading up to his delivery, the pain of said delivery and everything surrounding that day, he told him how he named their daughter after Phainon’s mother, and how she’s already looking like him, with thin white hair showing up on her little head, and that when she opened her eyes for the first time, they were the same shade of blue as her dad's. Mydei was in tears by the time he got to that part, though— he was crying softly, not sobbing painfully as he had done every time before this day. Progress.
“She's a carbon copy of you. I can't believe I had to carry her for nine months and suffer all this pain just for her to look exactly like you, it's like my genes aren't even in her.” Mydei said quietly with a chuckle, wiping his tears with the tissue in his hand. “If you were here, I think you'd probably laugh, but you’d be visibly proud, like you won another challenge….” He added, sniffling, then letting out a deep exhale, a soft smile on his face. “I wish you were here. Every day, every waking moment, it's all I can think about.” Mydei’s smile faded a little when he said that, and he sighed.
“But… I'm sure you'd be happy to hear that it hasn't all been bad. Thanks to our little angel, living doesn't feel like an agonizing nightmare anymore. It's… bearable now, even if nothing can truly ease the pain of losing you, I have someone to live for. She's everything… I wish you could meet her, Phainon, you'd love her…” Mydei spoke again after a stretched out silence. “She saved me, in a way. She's taking care of me now, so you don't have to worry about me. I'll take good care of her too, she’s my everything, my whole world.” He added, his smile returning now, only faintly. “....You're my world too, even if you aren't with me anymore.”
Audata is three years old now. She was growing up so quickly, Mydei often found himself thinking. Already, she was jumping around, speaking full sentences, and creating chaos wherever she went. Mydei almost couldn't keep up, but he did, he always did.
“Audata, it's time for a bath sweetheart.” Mydei spoke, walking toward the bundle of energy that was his daughter, who was in front of the television, jumping in rhythm with whatever was happening in her cartoon. “Noooo…!” She complained, shaking her little head. Mydei chuckled and lifted her up onto his arms in one fell swoop. “Don't be difficult, missy. You know we always have bath time.” He half heartedly scolded, then twirled both of them around, making her giggle.
The two of them had a bath together every day, it turned into a tradition over the years. Even so, kids will be kids, and she still refused every so often, but Mydei made sure to be playful and soothe her into it. Children can be so dirty, she needed to bathe, and so did Mydei, so why not do it together?
It was a bit like the baths he and Phainon used to take together before the accident. Mydei hadn't planned for it to be a recreation of that when he first started taking baths with his daughter, but it ended up being very similar. In the end, a lot of things about Audata reminded Mydei of Phainon, even unintentionally.
It was... okay. Mydei felt better than he did three years ago, even if the pain never truly went away, it was bearable now, manageable, and he was grateful to his daughter for that, and to his mother and best friend who stuck with him for so long. Gorgo only left to return to her home in Castrum Kremnos around a year ago, insisting that the first two years were essential for the child, and given how Mydei needed to go back to work, she knew she had to stay and babysit, at least until Audata was two years old. Cipher had left sooner than that, around six months after Audata was born, she would've stayed if Gorgo hadn't been there, but she knew her little lion was in good hands, so she stuck to visiting him every once in a while.
Today being one of those visits. Cipher showed up at Mydei’s door unannounced on a random saturday, a wide mischievous smile on her face. “Heyyyyy~” She greeted, and Mydei, standing at the front door he just opened, already knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to deal with. “What is it, Ciphera?” He asked, voice betraying how much he didn't want to know. “What's with the harsh tone? Won't you let me in?” Cipher sing sang in response, squeezing past her friend into the house. “Where is my lovely little niece? Audata! Where are you hiding?~” She searched the main hall and the living room for the little girl, and it didn't take long before tiny footsteps were heard storming down the stairs, and Cipher caught the little kid who jumped onto her arms without hesitation. “Auntie Ciphy!” Audata exclaimed happily and hugged the gray haired woman.
Of course, she knew Cipher wasn't her real aunt, but to the little girl, it made no difference, that was her aunt, she made her happy and she loved her, and that was all they needed. “What do you say you go hang out with Auntie Cassy today?” Cipher asked the girl, and she nodded frantically, excited. Cassy, Castorice, was Cipher’s girlfriend of two years, they lived together, and she loved Audata the same way Cipher did, Mydei liked her a lot and trusted her.
“What for?” Mydei, however, didn't trust Cipher and her antics. “So me and you can hang out, of course!” Cipher chirped at the man, and Mydei only sighed. It wasn't the worst idea his friend had come up with, so he didn't protest.
They dropped off little Audata at Castorice and Cipher’s place, then the smiley woman drove them off to wherever she was planning to take them.
Before long, they were at a restaurant, it didn't look too fancy, but it wasn't run down either, just a very decent place, and Mydei had never been there. They walked in, both dressed casually but presentable, and moved further inside. Mydei noticed Cipher looking around, but he didn't pay it much mind, thinking she was just looking for the best seats.
That is, until she spotted a group of people, and waved at them, one of the people waved back upon seeing her, and she turned around to grab Mydei’s arm and drag him toward them.
What the fuck.
Mydei stopped her and pulled her aside, out of sight. “What the fuck are you doing, Cipher? Who are these people? I thought it was going to be just you and me!” Mydei whisper screamed, he should've known better than to believe Cipher wasn't up to something. “Oh don't be a killjoy! You need to go out more and make some friends, it can't just be me and your daughter forever.” Cipher dead panned, crossing her arms.
Mydei sighed. “Sure, but this is very clearly a mixer. You want me to find a partner, not just friends.” He confronted, Cipher rolled her eyes. “And what's wrong with that? It's been three years, Mydei. I loved Phainon very much too, and I know I can never understand how you feel, but you also can't stay alone forever. Audata needs two parents, if not for you, or for me, do it for her.”
Mydei didn't have a retort to that. It wasn't as if it was easy to raise his daughter alone, it certainly was a lot of work, he could use some help. Besides, it was as Cipher said, she needed two loving parents and a stable home to grow up, and Mydei needed company that wasn’t just Cipher and his mother, who didn't even live nearby.
He sighed, and with a “Fine.”, he followed Cipher toward the group, the woman smiled cheerily and led them there, greeting everyone and introducing them. Mydei was made to sit down in a specific spot, across from a certain Anaxagoras. Mydei assumed that's who Cipher had in mind for a potential partner. He was a small man with an eye patch, he looked older than everyone present, Mydei wondered what such a serious looking man was doing here. He had probably been dragged here or tricked into coming.
As everyone got busy making conversation, laughing loud, eating, Mydei and the older man across from him kept to themselves. They were sitting at the edge of the table so it was easy to stay quiet. Mydei had his chin on the palm of his hand, his arm leaning on the table atop its elbow, he was absent mindedly following the movements of the people next to him as they went about their activities.
“Were you also dragged here?” He heard a voice ask him, it was Anaxagoras. “Hm? Oh, yeah, well no— not exactly. My friend tricked me, she said we would hang out, but didn't mention there would be others too.” Mydei responded, then chuckled lightly, and so did the man after hearing the answer. “Figures. You don't seem the type to be at such places.”
“Neither do you.” Mydei commented.
“Yeah. I only stayed because my boss insists I'm too bitter and unpleasant. I think I'd like to prove her wrong by having a pleasant conversation with someone, I'm already here anyway.”
Mydei chuckled. “I think you’re quite pleasant, Mr. Anaxagoras.”
“Just Anaxagoras. You're not so bad, Mydeimos.”
A stretch of silence.
“......So what did your friend want you here for?” Anaxa asked at last.
“Well, haha, quite a long story….” Mydei started. Then briefly told the story leading up to this day, leaving out major details, like how much grief Mydei felt and still does. It earned a facial expression from the neutral looking man in front of him. “Oh, lord. My condolences.”
“Thank you. It's been hard, I won't lie, but my daughter makes it a little easier, and you kind of just… grow around your grief, it never really goes away.” Mydei spoke, low and calm.
“So, I take it you stayed because you are interested in finding someone, for your daughter’s sake?” Anaxa questioned, now quite invested.
Mydei looked up from where his eyes were settled on his own lap, and into the other man’s eyes, leaning forward onto the table to settle his forearms on it. “No….”
His expression looked a mix of resignation, calmness, sadness— a most melancholic look. Mydei only stayed for his best friend's sake, he had absolutely no intention of pursuing anyone, not now, not ever. Audata would simply have to be content with one just father, he will make sure she is loved and cared for abundantly, but another partner? Someone other than Phainon? It was unfathomable, unimaginable, out of the question.
Mydei sucked in a breath, then exhaled softly, half a smile forming at the corner of his lips.
“I lost my dawn. No one can ever replace him.”