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"Nooo Atsushi! I want you to open this one first!" Dazai pushed a perfectly red polka-dotted present into Atsushi's hands, smiling big. "this one is the best one!"
"This is my 18th gift from you, Dazai" Atsushi said sheepishly, opening it with care to avoid ripping dazai hard work.
“Just open it!" Dazai continued to push. His anticipation showed clearly, rocking side to side as he leaned in. He'd probably holds the record for the most gifts given in the agency- not the best but the most definitely.
Yosano plops down beside him, ruffling Dazai hair and leaned against him "careful, it might be a bomb" she drawled. "We hardly even gave out our gifts yet”
"My gifts are super awesomely important" Dazai grinned down at her “more important than that free pass to your ER was”
Yosano huffs "Yeah okay… and how many cat related things has he pulled out this year?"
Atsushi huffed his own laugh, casting a glance towards his growing pile of cat socks, stuffed animals, clothes, custom shoes….It wasn't allll cat things, some were gifts that Atsushi hadn't even realized dazai knew he wanted. He'd never even imagined he'd get this much in years. He was beyond thankful, everyone has been incredibly nice.
He supposes he'll become a bit spoiled soon.
"If its cat ears im not wearing them" Dazai pouted instantly, reaching forward to grab Atsushi ears who lightly slapped his hands away, quickly becoming annoyed with Dazai's antics.
"Aww why nott! You'd look so cuuuute!" He teased.
"Its better than the cane he got me" ranpo sighed, tossing a candy cane colored...well cane...against Kunikida's desk, the blonde was watching the scene unfold, looking more fondly amused than annoyed for his own liking.
"And a matching one for the president, Kunikida added with a sly grin “didn't you say you always wanted to match the president? How thoughtful"
Ranpo shoots him a glare, “Don't you have paperwork to fill out or something? You know i dont know if im too fond of this sarcasm you've developed, mister”
"Come on, dazai stop teasing him and give him the actual gift" yosano voice cut through once more, stopping dazai from gluing a pair of white tiger ears to Atsushi's head.
"Another one?" Atsushi asked, exasperated. Hands still covering his head to block Dazai's assault.
"This is the last one" Kyoka smiled, carrying what looked to be a heavy gift in her hands. She too was wearing one of her many gifts from the agency, Dazai and Yosano had taken a lot of time and money getting Kyoka's custom made dress. It was mostly white with beautiful soft hints of light blue And a giant blue bow tied in the back. Ruffles and all.
"Wow that dress looks even better now!" Ranpo grins "you ready for us to put the bows in your hair?" He asked, holding up a giant box of different colored hair bows. He'd taken the liberty of collecting a bunch of Cute accessories for the young girl.
"Sure, after Atsushi opens his last gift" she placed the box in front of the weretiger who smiled in thanks.
—--
The others fussed over the pair, chattering amongst themselves filling the building with warmth and happiness. Fukuzawa also had joined them after a few minutes, but time was dwindling and kunikida had a couple of other things to do besides fond over their youngest members. Once he stood, Dazai's eyes shot up and met his, already he was sulking "is it time already?"
Kunikida walked to the door, leaning against it "mom's waiting, you know? You promised you'd make her Kurisumasu Keki this year"
dazai to perk up instantly, jumping to his feet and giving the others a quick goodbye he ran to kunikidas side "she's off this Christmas?" Dazai asked, practically radiating with excitement, he was hurrying out the door faster than Kunikida, skipping down the steps and pushing out the giant doors.
waves and goodbyes followed them out and what greeted them was cold winter frost. Snow crunched under their feet as they walked "I wonder if your dad made that one pie" dazai wondered aloud, swinging their hands and purposely bumping shoulders with kunikida. He smiled up at him, a smile that warmed Kunikida's heart so much that not even the winter cold could undo its effect.
He blushed but easily blamed it on the weather
"The Kabocha Pie?" Kunikida asked softly, "you said it was too sweet last time"
"I only said that because I was hoping he'd make another one and we could take the other one home"
"Of course you'd try something as sneaky as that, I should've known,” Kunikida laughed. It was soft and airy. Honestly, ever since he and dazai started dating it felt a lot easier to let himself breath and enjoy life again. Sure it wasn't all dazai, a lot of it had to come from within, but dazai was there every single step. He laughs louder and smiles more– He wanted to believe its the same for dazai as well.
Kunikida turns their hands, bringing them up and runs his fingers over Dazai's ring finger, and kisses his hand, he lets his lips linger, perhaps trying to pour all the love he still struggled with saying into their palms. Either way, dazai understood his sentiment.
Dazai squeezed his hand harder, bumping into him again. They walked past parks and food stands, watching families build snowmen and drink warm hot chocolate.
“Think we can convince Kenji to have a snowball fight again?” Dazai chuckled
“Kenji almost killed us last time…, and you remember how sick Tanizaki got after spending hours buried deep in the snow? We were digging him out for hours because knocked over Kenji's snow cow…” Kunikida shook his head “and you hate the cold”
“You keep me warm” dazai answered easily “my sweet sunshine” Kunikida clears his throat, that blush returning quickly.
“You got sick as well you know”
“And you took care of me”
“Well I always will..”
“Exactly, so what's there to worry about?” Dazai nodded “we'll have millions of snow days and each one of them i want to spend them with everyone…or at least until i can find a way to bet Yosano…that woman's aim is insane..”
Kunikida hopes that is true. He couldn't imagine having another Christmas without the brunette by his side. It's not just about Dazai's health, but also their job, it's about their entire lifestyle. They're constantly dancing with death, some more than others but anyone in this work could die anytime.
There were plenty of times Kunikida thought he'd breath his very last breath and do so without telling the people he loves goodbye. This life he's living is merely fleeting. Can you excuse how melancholic and reckless he's been living it? Can you move past all the mistakes and pain he's painted and allow him to relearn all over again?
He wants to be able to say he's gotten something right.
His thoughts dissipate as he stands in front of an old oak door, decorated with a wreath, meadowsweet specifically, greens, reds, and whites. He missed home. For it being too close. He always feels so far from it.
The door swings open before they can even knock, and kunikida is instantly pulled into a hug. The smell of nutmeg and warmth fills him as he melts into the embrace.
“There's my babyboy!” Kunikida's mom brims with happiness, and she pulls back just to look at him, her eyes shine. They've always been filled with so much light, no matter what was thrown at her. Kunikida can't remember a time in his life where she wasn't radiant.
“Hi, momma, how are you?” He asked, holding her arms, checking her appearance.
“I'm better now that you're home” she smiled, and then turned her attention to dazai, her smiled grew as she pulled him into her embrace “how are you sweetheart? We missed you for Thanksgiving”
“hey mom” Dazai's accepted her embrace looking just as shy as he always does every time they come to visit. “Its been too long, yeah?”
She leads them inside, allowing them to slip off their shoes before her scolding starts “damn right, and what was this that i heard about you sticking yourself in danger again? What did I tell you?” She points an accusatory finger at the brunette, who gaps, scraping his brain for excuses he'd never find. It was rare to make dazai speechless and/or nervous, but he was far too respectful and loving of kunikida mom to ever make her upset intentionally.
“Hey in my defense, mom, kunikida-”
“no sir, i dont want to hear it–and kunikida you are not staking free either, you may be my son but you get your reckless abandon from your father!”
“Leave them alone, honey, you know they're just putting their all into their job. As you should by the way, kunikida. Did i ever tell you how hard i worked to keep this roof-”
Kunikida and Dazai made eye contact, Kunikida eyes twitched as he sighed, and Dazai hid a smile behind his hand. Parents will always be parents, and Kunikida's parents never not found a way to teach him–and now Dazai lessons. Kunikida cut into their rant, quickly reminding them of all the things they had to do before they could really celebrate this Christmas in full.
His father quickly returned to the kitchen to attend to food preparation, and after some prompting dazai followed him. The moment dazai was out of sight his mom pulled him towards his old room, determining in her eyes. Seriousness you'd only see in a nurse. She lightly closed the door behind them and faced her son. Kunikida felt like he couldn't breathe, he knew it was coming and he knew he no longer could pretend the anxiety wasn't ripping his stomach apart.
“Are you sure?” Was the only thing his mom said. Her stare was calculated as a needle piercing a small vein.
Kunikida never had a doubt.
“Yes.”
His mom pulled a small blue box with a moon engraved on the top. She held it like it was a million secrets and a billion lifetimes.
Then she opened it.
Inside sat the most beautiful engagement ring kunikida as ever laid his eyes on. Shimmering, small, perfect. His. The ring itself was golden, with little specks of diamond stars embedded in the sides, the gem on top was shaped as the softest wandering star, giant, gleaming mooned diamond, with little crescent moons on the sides of it and more small speckled stars wrapped around.
Kunikida couldn't tear his eyes away. It was everything he'd pictured. He slowly took it out of his moms hands, holding it felt like all his dreams were coming true. It felt right.
“I want to be clear that proposing is just one step, marriage is for life, kunikida. Do not do this if you're not ready, or if you are not sure.” Kunikida shook his head. Sitting back on his bed, tears lined his eyes at the simple thought of this ring occupying Dazai fingers.
“There's nothing i want more” he breathed “mom, god mom i love him so much.” His heart ached, he loved dazai so much- “that it hurts” the words left his lips “how else can i show it? Besides giving him this”
A hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed. He met his moms eyes with so much emotion, as he bit back his tears. If he cried, dazai would immediately think something was wrong.
“Then let's get out of here. If we stay here longer Dazai will get suspicious. Honestly. I'm surprised you hid it this long. You planned this two years ago”
—---
She was right. Dazai was waiting on them as soon as they left the room, his eyes sharp as he took in kunikida appearance, to anyone else it may look like dazai was just studying kunikida and nothing more, but there was the smallest fur in his brow that showed how worried he already was. Once he took note of Kunikida's slightly red eyes the worry deepened, but he didn't get as far as asking the blonde what was wrong before Kunikida's mom was ushering him away with the excuse of baking the cake promised.
He watched as dazai eyes silently asked if he was okay, searching Kunikida's soul for answers. Kunikida merely gave him a sheepish wave and a look that said “you know how my mom gets” and that was all.
He found himself in the living room with his father, who was watching some sport and throwing last minute decorations up.
“You know, you guys really have to stop waiting so long to put up decorations,” Kunikida said, picking up an abandoned ornament and sticking it on the very disorganized tree.
“Your mother insisted we wait until you got here. She did not account for you being so late”
“I wasn't late” Kunikida muttered, in fact, they were right on time with no delay or time to spare. He looked at the tree with a pinched expression…and promptly got to work.
—---------------------
“Actually we were right one time,” Dazai told Kunikida's mom, handing her yet another perfectly peeled potato, and watching her cut it with practiced ease. For right now he was only observing, he was no cook, baking was more his speed, but it loved watching. Kunikida's mom's attempts at teaching him would be endless. He just had little patience for standing and waiting by a stove. He just always turned everything on high and hoped for the best.
Realistically he could probably master cooking in half a day if he cared, he just liked when Kunikida cooked more, so why would he attempt to lessen something that was already few and far between.
But as promised he was cradling a giant box of flour prepared to begin his long journey of cake mixing.
“I thought for sure I told my son to bring you here bright and early” she shook her head, looking at the clock that read 9:30 am.
“This seems pretty early for me,” Dazai laughed. Kunikida had shoved dazai out of bed and thrown a pair of clothes at him then swept him out the door. He had deliberately demanded everyone show up to the agency earlier than normal(with the approval of Fukuzawa) and they'd have their Christmas party from 6:30 am to 8:00 am, dazai and kunikida left 8:05 on the dot and walked an hour to his parents house. Kunikida was very serious about meeting his family on the holidays, and Dazai wouldn't be so cruel as to mess that up. Plus…he himself really enjoys their company as well.
His perception of holidaying and families were a little twisted, and warped with his past, most of all his Christmases in the Port mafia were probably filled with more blood shed, and cleaning up bodies, only to drag his tired body to Lupin…and of course make it back in time to pass presents with chuuya. He really didn't have many memories with his own parents either, not because of age, but because there was nothing memorable.
Masako (kunikida's mom) was stirring some type of sew when the entire demeanor of the room changed. She looked a type of sad that only a mother could understand. Pain for her child, or perhaps worry. It made dazai gut twist with dread.
“Is everything okay?” with Kunikida was unsaid, but heavily implied, and when she smiled at him, it felt like dazai's heart was about to break right then. His mind instantly went to the worst. “Mom?” He asked quietly, as if worried he was even allowed to still use that title now.
“Doppo puts too much of himself in things. He's strong willed, and self assured. Especially when it comes to his ideals but…hes struggled–and I'm sure you know.” She tampers off “he gets scared like any other person, and talks himself out of things far too often, he has doubts and fears…you know just this year alone I've seen him cry more than I ever have wanted too. I wondered if it was because of the job….or because of you”
Dazai froze in place. He didn't know what to say or what to do. His heart thudded so heavily in his ears, his stomach twisted like a knife, nausea and anxiety climbed its way up his throat.
“he used to come home and complain about how much you put him through on top of a job that was already taxing. He used to say that despite how bright and amazing of a partner you were, you neglected that and hardly worked to your full potential. He used to pour over how your tendencies kept him up at night. He feared one day you wouldn't just be joking. He talked about the day you almost did die, and how he was so sure Yosano ability wouldn't work regardless because it was never tested, just theorized. This is hardly even half of it. When I asked him to meet you, it was truly to see who had been giving my son a hard time….” She laughed “I wanted to hate you. His father probably wanted you dead. Then I met you.” She stepped closer and held his cheek.
But He couldn't meet her eyes, his eyes bore into the marble counter, he held his breath in hopes he'd disappear right where he stood.
“I met you, and despite how much of a hard time I undoubtedly gave you, you stayed kind, respectful, and understanding. You exceeded all my expectations, I knew before the night was over I could trust you with my son's life, and as his partner. Five years ago I met you. Within three months I held my crying son as he told me he'd fallen for you, I held him as he apologized for being that way. I held him as he told me he tried so hard to love someone else. But it always comes back to you. Two months later, I held him again when came to me with the biggest smile ive ever seen and told me you'd ask if he'd be with you.”
Dazai laughed, it was wet, when did he start tearing up? He hadn't noticed. “You should've seen his face”
“He told me you said you were tired of waiting for him to ask”
“But, mom. What does this have to do with anything?” The moment was fleeting. His chest hadn't eased its assault.
“Four years.” She said
“Four years, five months, 23 days….”
“You don't have it down to the seconds?” She questioned
“I do but im trying to be more conversational these days…”
“It's not working one bit…”
“Oh….”
She waved him off “the point is, i know he loves you. I know he'd do anything to show you that. Are you willing to do the same? Because if not, if you have any doubts of a future with my son, please spare him. Don't hurt him, please. Its the only thing i ask”
Dazai didn't have an answer. Not because he had his doubts, or that he didn't love Kunikida with his entire being. But because what he wanted to say was far too big for words to describe. So instead he squeezed her shoulder and held up the box of flour “think this will be enough?”
It was.
—----------------
Kunikida had finally finished fixing the tree when his father laid a hand on his shoulder.
“Let me show you something”
His father led him into the hallway and up narrow stairs leading to other bedrooms, and up a pair of pulled down stairs into an attic. Kunikida coughed as dust filled his lungs, his father moved to the very back of the attic and sat down next to a giant chest. He pulled a small sliver key from his breast pocket and unlocked it.
Kunikida moved to sit with him, and for a moment they sat in silence. He had a feeling he knew what his father had brought him up here to discuss. But unlike his mother, his father had a harder time explaining his feelings let alone understanding others. He knew how hard it was for his father to accept his…perceived change. They've gotten into many arguments about it in the past, so much so kunikida had felt embarrassed and stopped bringing dazai with him to spare him, and maybe himself from his fathers misguided view.
It took two out of the four years he and dazai have been together for his father to apologize…and even then their relationship was strained. Kunikida remembers spending those Christmases at his own apartment, and buying a taxi so his mom could at least visit for an hour.
He'd never missed a Christmas home before then.
His father pulled out a photobook, he laid his hands on it gently, gazing at it with a nostalgic smile, and then he passed it to kunikida. Kunikida looked at his father for approval first and then opened it to the first page.
The picture inside showed his mom and dad holding each other tightly while staring at fireworks going off in the distance. His mom was pointing at the biggest one, it was unclear what the shape of the firework made, but kunikidas fathers eyes were only glued to his mother.
“This was on our honeymoon.” His father started “when we got married, we fought the entire morning before our respective parties could drag us away to actually get dressed. We even fought at the altar, it was all stupid petty things, but your mother swore she would not marry me. Of course this was after years of rejecting my advances”
Kunikida frowned “is this your attempt at discouraging me-”
His father held his hands up “no no, not at all. I'm far past that…let me finish. Me and your mom had so many ups and downs, and through all of them, I never once fell out of love.” He reached into the chest again and pulled out a folder full of letters “when I first asked your mom to marry me. We were hardly sixteen years old, and I had only known her for a week. I fell for her undoubtedly. I ended up proposing to her twelve more times. That's just how sure I was.” His father looked rather sheepish. “We dated for twelve years, got pregnant with you ten years in. Baby and all your mother still knew we weren't ready”
“So what makes me think I'm ready? That's what you're going to ask me”
“When did you know you wanted to marry him” his father asked. He waited patiently for his answer. Didn't rush him or look judgemental.
Kunikida mulled over the answer. To others it may seem like an impossible answer. Most people can pinpoint the moment they decided it was time to pop the question, but that is entirely different than the phenomenon of feeling what its like to think the words “forever with you”. Kunikida knows his answer though. That very answer has burned holes into billions of notebook pages written under starlight and diamond tears. Kunikida has poured his heart into that very moment he knew that there was no other universe he wanted to live in, where Dazai wasn't by his side.
“It was a bad case. I had gone alone, Dazai was momentarily pulled away to help Atsushi. That kid had gotten himself in some trouble and without a doubt dazai went to help him. My case was supposed to be a simple one, you know? Just some bottom of the barrel thugs.” Kunikida trailed off as he recalled the memory. The smell. The screams… “there were so many bodies, women, children, i– it was bad dad. It took days. Each day felt like hell. It felt like I couldn't help anyone and all I was doing was dragging away bodies and breaking news to families.”
He remembers how many nights in a lonely hotel room where the victims' faces haunted him. It was familiar with nightmares, it didn't make it any easier.
“When I returned home, I was just in a daze, I sat on the couch and just…stared. Dazai found me like that, he didn't say a word, he didn't have too. He just sat with me until the sun rose. And when I finally cried, holding onto him for dear life. Osamu Dazai, who I'd never seen shed a tear, cried with me. He cried for me. That's when I felt it.”
“Then you should tell him” his father answered after a beat “Doppo. All I want to say is I'm proud of you. I've always been proud of you, my own trepidation kept me from showing you that. But I promise you, I've never felt anything towards you, but unconditional love. And as your father, when you marry him” his father handed him two wedding rings, engraved with the last name “Doppo” and the date of their wedding engraved inside “can i request one thing. You put this ring on his finger, and officially bind him to our family name”
Kunikida took the rings from his fathers hand, and then hugged him, this time he couldn't stop the tears that fell. “You sure?” He asked through a choked cry, his father pulled him back and wiped a tear from his face, raising an eyebrow
“Come on, Doppo, you know I don't joke around” Kunikida laughed. He watched his father stand and leave, giving him time to think.
He doesn't know what he did to deserve this. This love and compassion. He was truly blessed.
—---------
When he finally came down the attic steps dazai was all over him, pushing into his space and burying his head in his chest. Kunikida frowned, wrapping his arms around the brunette in return, rubbing his back in small circles. “What's wrong, moon?” He asked, but Dazai only pressed his face deeper into his chest, and his words were horribly muffled. “I can't hear you” Kunikida says, now running his fingers through unruly curls.
“What's wrong with you” Dazai grumbles “I've hardly seen you today, and you've been suspicious and odd and secretive” dazai sends two accusatory eyes at him. Picking apart his expression. Kunikida was bad at lying to the brunette. But he was good at distracting him.
He leaned down and gently kissed his forehead, and then his cheek and nose. Dazai's face scrunched up as a soft blush dusted his cheeks. “Okay now you're being realllly suspicious, you hate PDA” dazai pointed out. “Doppo Kunikida, what are you hiding?”
Kunikida laced their fingers “I was hiding the giant star for the christmas tree, because mom will be so mad if she doesn't get to put it on” Kunikida pulled dazai towards the living room “but i heard from a little birdie that you never got to do it before”
Dazai made a confused noise in the back of his throat “I put the one on the agency tree last year?”
“That one doesn't count. Because it isn't your tree” Kunikida stuck his hand behind the christmas tree and pulled out a giant yellow star, it had a ribbon tied around it that said “Kunikida Family” dazai took it with gentle hands, but his frown remained.
“But this tree is still technically not mine..?”
“Whats mine is yours, and whats yours is mine” Kunikida held his shoulders and pushed him towards the tree, and when dazai still showed hesitation, he kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear “it'll be your tree soon, don't overthink, just do it”
Right at that moment, dazai didn't get the sentiment, but with shaky hands still worried of doing wrong, he stood on his tippy toes and safely secured the star on top of the tree. The tree lit up right in front of him, lights bounced off ornament and coziness filled the room. This will never get old. It just feels right. Something he's been missing.
“Thank you,” dazai said the moment he was back in kunikidas arms.
“Of course,” Kunikida answered.
Soon after kunikida mom and dad prepared the table and they all sat down and ate. Opened gifts, watched a holiday movie, and all that was left was Kunikida's final surprise.
Kunikida had handed Dazai a tailored suit and practically shoved him upstairs and told him to get ready under the farce that his mom had booked for them to go see the light show in Yokohama and wanted them all to be dressed nicely. Dazai was wearing a blue fitted suit top, with a nice yellow vest under it. A blue tie with yellow flowers on it, a yellow handkerchief in the pocket, and a white button down shirt. The entire thing
had struck dazai was weird, but he couldn't conjure up anything that replaced the original answer given to him.
Kunikida had also run off the change, insisting that they could not get dressed together. Kunikida was wearing a matching one, but blue and green. Kunikida sat in the spare bathroom going over his speech, and practicing getting on one knee. Each time he did it, he felt like he would pass out from the anticipation. He couldn't wait any longer, and yet he felt like if he went right now, he'd die. But it was now or never.
Dazai was bickering with Kunikida's dad about how to build their new dresser when Kunikida came in shaking like a leaf practically. He asked dazai to follow him out to the backyard. At first, dazai was hesitant, especially since Kunikida's entire demeanor had changed so quickly. He wouldn't answer dazai many questions, and could hardly hold his hand without breaking away in nerves.
Dazai has never seen kunikida this way. He had no idea what could cause this.
Until he saw it. Time slowed as his mind processed what was in front of him. His first instinct was to pull away, but kunikida grabbed him all over again, his smile was genuine but shaky with nerves. “Work with me here” Kunikida joked half heartedly, finally getting dazai to step out on the snowy porch.
Outside, the entire backyard was decorated with yellows, blues, greens and gentle browns. The entire agency was sitting in chairs off to the side, dressed in suits. They waved at him, and gave him thumbs up,
But nothing could draw his eyes away from the giant sign that read “Will You Marry Me, Osamu Dazai?”
Tears were already spilling out his eyes before his mind fully registered what was about to happen, the only thing that snapped him out of his dazed was Kunikidas hands on his shoulders, that then ran all the way up his arms and interlocked with his hands.
Kunikida was practically panting. He was shifting and stumbling over his words but the look in his eye was nothing but pure love.
“I know” Kunikida cleared his throat “I know that doing this on Christmas is a bit of a wild choice but, to me there was no better time than now” he held into him tighter, squeezing his hands as if dazai would just up and leave. “And this was meant to be a little more private, but i decided that we needed our entire family here,
Osamu Dazai
There's nothing else I can say but go ahead and tell you what you're already thinking. Yes, I want to marry you, I want to marry you because you deserve someone who treats you right. I want to marry you because you make me smile effortlessly. I want to marry you because I want to take care of you and you me. I want to marry you because you're different. I want to marry you because you push me to become the best version of myself I could be. I want to marry you because you actually put effort into me, I want to marry you because you understand me.
I want to marry you because you don't judge me, you help me, you show me, you love me. I want to marry you because you treat me right, because you don't let fear rule your love. I want to marry you because you know the deepest scariest parts of me, and there's no one else in the entire world I'd want to know about, besides you.
I want to marry you because I don't have to act like someone I'm not with you, Osamu. I want to marry you because I trust you. I want to marry you because I trust you to be my future. I want to marry you because I want to make you happy. I want to marry you because life is a struggle, and you make that struggle worthwhile. There are many more reasons I could mention.
I want to get married to you and i dont care about expensive weddings, or if there's a lot of people all I want is you, now and forever. All I want is for you to officially be mine forever. we could have the fanciest wedding in the world, or get married at town hall with no family there, it doesn't matter.
I just want to be married to you.
Life is never ever going to magically be all butterflies and rainbows, just because you marry your soul mate. Life is hard, and I want to marry you and love you endlessly every day through every bump in the road. I want to marry you to be your rock through every curve ball and every time you feel like giving up, to look at you when everything else is falling apart. I don't want to marry you because it's cute and exciting, I want to marry you because it's real and hard work but a lifetime of ups and downs with you is worth every second of it.
Osamu, All of these reasons fall into the final and most important reason. I want to marry you because I love you. I love you with all my heart. You are my moon, my star, my rose, my heartbeat. My biggest heartbreak, my soulmate.
And to be with you, every single Christmas, would be the greatest present of all.
Osamu Dazai. Will you marry me?”
Sobbing, he was sobbing when he nodded rapidly, dropping to his own knees and wrapping his arm around kunikida, he sobbed hotly into his neck, and even harder when Kunikida grabbed his face “i want too hear you say it, baby”
“Do you even have to ask? It's always been yes!”
It felt like a new beginning this time when they embraced, and kunikida slid the ring of Dazai's dreams onto his fingers, and kissed him passionately, with everything he had and everything he ever will be.
The cheers and shouts felt muted and the world slowed. “Yes” dazai repeated again, deepening the kiss again until they had to pull away.
“Yeah?” Kunikida asked, his face splitting into a grin “you'll marry me?”
“Yes!” Dazai shouted, his voice breaking off in surprise as kunikida lifted him up and spun him around. The stars could be found in Kunikida's eyes as dazai looked down at him
“i love you, Doppo”
“I love you, Osamu”
Partying ensued. Mostly with dazai and kunikida hugging their family, and dazai embarrassingly still crying and attempting to hide his face. Chuuya had also been there, and hugged him so tightly, and even if he wouldn't admit it. He was totally crying too.
Fukuzawa had given a quick little speech, and claimed he'd give a bigger one at their wedding.
They were getting married. The thought of it was intoxicating.
—------
The party had settled down and they were all readying to leave, hugging and kissing Kunikida's parents goodbye.
"This belongs to you now" she handed dazai the gaint star that sat on their tree, "hang it on your tree, when you say your vows and marry my son"
Dazai held it close to his chest, and nodded. "Yes, ma'am"
Then she hugged her son, and held his face, and muttered how proud she was of him.
suddenly they found themselves back on the streets walking home.
Kunikida was carrying dazai on his back, listening to him hum and talk on and on about preparing for the wedding. His face felt like it'd split with how much he's been smiling.
Dazai holds his ring out for Kunikida to see it hit the moon light “it's so pretty” he gasps.
“You've been saying that all night” Kunikida lightly scolds
“It's true!” He wraps his arms around the blonde's neck, a warm look on his face, he watches their friends goof off a couple of feet ahead of them. “Today was magical, you know. I didn't even think of a second you'd propose. How did you hide it so well?”
“I just distracted you with other things, remember the hot tub? And that back massage? You were so close to finding out then. You truly have a one track mind sometimes” dazai made an offended sound.
“I do not! I have you know I constantly think outside of normal ranges, I'm just highly offended you did all of this and didn't even give me a hint! You know i don't do well with secrets” Kunikida bites back a laugh, he squeezes Dazai's thigh and shakes his head.
“You're so nosy, I thought for sure you'd find out before the day was over. While you were helping mom clean up, the agency was setting up the backyard.”
“That's why you stopped me from taking out the trash!” Dazai gasped
“And why i stopped you from opening the blinds and window, you literally walked right past Naomi and didn't realize, you were too distracted trying to steal that stupid cake”
“Damn, im a failed detective” dazai hung his head in shame.
“but you made a beautiful fiancé,” Kunikida said sheepishly, glancing slightly back at dazai to gauge his expression.
Dazai leaned forward and rested his head on Kunikida's shoulder, “well you make a hot fiancé” Kunikida scoffs, rolling his eyes but his smile never leaves.
“You're ridiculous”
“Doppo?”
“Yes, my love?”
“Say it again”
“What? You're ridiculous?”
“No, why you want to marry me”
Kunikida laughed, it was full of joy, the sun starts to peek through the darkness. Sunrise.
“To Be With You….”