Work Text:
Okay, something is Up, capital U.
He's been working overtime with Thomas, because he has been doing Awful, capital A, and he can feel the wave of exhaustion hitting him from the Sides like he were standing in the middle of a bunch of try-hard cars on full blast, fumes hitting him from every angle.
Now, he doesn't normally involve himself in the Side's politics. Nothing for him there, a headache at best. But now this shit is affecting his job. And that means this is his business now.
Unfortunately.
He goes for the easiest. If he’s getting roped into this, he's taking the easy way out, so sue him. Well. He hopes this is the easy way. It had better be, anyways.
He finds Patton, and rises up to him (far easier than rising to a location, he thinks, given how little he honestly knows about the layout of this place) and finds him in his room, standing, holding a pair of yellow gloves, looking around before he notices Remy.
“Oh—! Um. Hi, uh, what's-”
“New fashion choice? I don't think yellow is your color, babes.” Patton flushes, shaking his head quickly.
“Oh, they're, um, not mine.”
Okay. This might be worse than he thought.
He lets out a dramatic gasp, taking off his sunglasses and pointing the curved end to Patton. “You didn't,” he starts, and Patton quickly shakes his head, holding his hands up like he's being mugged.
“No! No! Oh, why does everyone keep jumping to that?!” Everyone? Oh, this might be better than he thought. “I just—they're Janus’. He left them over in the living room, and I've been… you know, holding onto them. Just in case he wanted them back. I was looking for a spot to put them.” Remy taps the end of his sunglasses against his chin, hand going to his side.
“Janus, Janus- oh, snake. Explains the color, even if I don't get the point. Oh, but if he were over here, then that means- Oh!” This is much Better than he thought, capital B! Remy grins, tucking the glasses into the collar of his shirt to take a step closer to Patton, clapping his shoulders. “Oh, finally! You're getting rid of that… whole light-dark thing.” But then, why- his smile slips, replaced by a suspicious frown as he takes a step back. “And that makes everyone an insomniac, why?” Patton blinks with understanding.
“Oh. That's why you're here. Well, um, it's… complicated. Uh, I just… had Janus over to dinner. That's all. And, um, some people aren't… taking it well.”
“Don't sugarcoat it, babes.” Patton cringes.
“Well, half the household didn't show up and the one that did barely spoke, so… I- I dunno, Remy, I'm sorry. It really is complicated. I've talked to Roman, so I thought he was dealing with things better, but I guess not if you're here… I don't know about Logan or Virgil.” A heavy sigh. “I just don't know, kiddo. I'm sorry.”
Remy resists the urge to remind Patton he's older than him, instead sighing again. With a flourish, he sits down on Patton's bed, crossing his legs and leaning back against the headrest like he owns the place. “Tell me what you do know, then, babe,” he draws, like it's obvious. Honestly, he thinks it is. Everyone makes things complicated around here for nothing. Slowly, Patton sits down next to him, setting the pair of gloves down onto the nightstand.
“Well… Yeah, I haven't been sleeping good. I mean, I guess it started with all this, but it's not really the reason. I just—I've been thinking.”
And the last time Patton said that, Thomas came out as gay, so this is waaay worse than he thought. This is leaning into Emile territory, and he is suddenly very Unprepared. Capital U, of course.
“I- I was wrong. About a lot of things. Things that I based, you know, my whole… how-I-see things on,” Patton admits with a cringe, and yeah, whoa, he is not prepared for this, but Patton continues before he can say anything. “Virgil isn't bad. Janus isn't… all bad, and he—you know. He's improving.” He clears his throat, sitting up a bit more. “And, uh, you know,” he repeats. With a very sudden air of forced lightness, Patton does jazz hands. “I think I was wrong about God and all that too. …Haha.”
Whatever Remy was expecting, it was not that. He is way the fuck out of his depth.
He takes a deep breath in through his nose. Then stands, sliding his sunglasses back on. “I'm gonna go,” he starts, and Patton looks like he's been hit.
“You- You asked! I told you it was complicated!” Ignoring him, Remy starts to sink out, and then Patton grabs his jacket sleeve, looking honestly a bit desperate. “I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out.”
Remy takes a moment, fully coming back into the room. He takes his sunglasses off again to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Listen. You all need to get your shit sorted. I'm serious. It's not just affecting you guys, right? Thomas is a mess, capital M. You hear me? Mess. And I've got to be the one dealing with it! And not only are you guys being weird, the last part of him just stopped believing in religion. So. To clarify.” He slides the glasses back on.
Remy taps Patton's chest, who drops Remy's arm with a guilty look. “You need to get your shit together. And I'm going to go help Thomas get his shit together before he has some meltdown. I don't know if you guys have heard, but he's supposed to go to some cousin's babyshower this weekend and he needs to be normal, and he needs to get some sleep. Okay?”
Patton presses his lips together. Takes a deep breath, then nods. “Okay.”
“Good.”
Finally, Remy turns to leave, but then a hand is on his arm again. He turns to fuss some more, but looks back, and Patton looks—sad? Hopeful? Guilty? No. Somber, but understanding. So, he hesitates. “...What?”
“Look, I… I'm sorry. Really. I didn't— I didn't realize it was… putting that much on your plate.”
“You're selfish, babes. It's fine. We all are.”
Patton cringes, then shakes his head. “No, no, I didn't mean… Listen, Remy—why don't you come for dinner tomorrow night? Tell me your favorite and I'll make it for you. And a dessert, if you want. An apology, I guess.” He shrugs, almost sheepishly. Remy looks at him for a long moment.
“Pork abado. …And Tiramisu.” If he's gonna get an apology for dealing with this nonsense he's gonna get a good one. He watches as Patton makes a mental note to look those up in real time, then nods.
“Tomorrow.” Remy nods back.
“Tomorrow.” He can stand having dinner with them for one night. He's used to having it alone, so this is gonna be capital-A Annoying, but it'll at least be good food. Probably.
Remy leaves, and heads to deal with Thomas. That's dealt with best he can. Now it's time to go back to what he's used to. The kind of headache he can deal with.
Stupid complicated Sides. He's grateful he can usually get away with avoiding them. The loneliness is worth it, honestly.