Chapter Text
Cat stared at the email again and sighed.
Leaning back in her designer chair, she removed her glasses and ran a hand through her hair. Her Pilates coach, Christie, had done her best that morning, but already she felt the tension returning again to her shoulders, and she rolled her neck to try to ease the ache. There was just no avoiding it any longer – she had to face this.
Still glaring at the accusing picture and text on her screen, she sat up and took a deep breath: “KEI-!”
“Ms Grant! Is everything ok?” Kara was already hurrying in to her office, a concerned expression on her face.
Cat frowned slightly. She was sure she knew how Kara managed to arrive before she’d even finished calling for her, but clearly Kara wasn’t ready to share this with her yet. Leaning back in her chair, she gestured at the screen: “Keira, today I’ve been bombarded by emails from our Board Secretary, asking what I’m going to do to improve morale in the office. It seems that Dave’s threatened legal action over his relocation has made them a bit twitchy about ‘maintaining a healthy working environment.’”
“Well,” Kara grimaced, “Dave may have had a point that it was a tiny bit unfair to move him to another floor just because his hair was the same colour as the new paint scheme in the bathrooms...”
“Oh please,” Cat waved her into silence, “He’ll fit right in on the blue floor with the Tech writers. Their nocturnal habits will go well with his sunlight-hating nature.”
“Um, well, I guess he’ll adjust,” Kara mumbled uncertainly.
“Anyway,” Cat continued as if Kara hadn’t spoken, “the Board would like to avoid any further revenge-driven ex-employees, and despite my repeated reassurance that productivity is up and sick leave is down, they’ve insisted that I be seen to do something to build up trust amongst my delicate little workers.”
“Oh!” Kara brightened noticeably at that, and started tapping on her tablet screen, “I’m sure I heard recently of a firm who were offering to come and do some group work and trust-building exercises with companies. They only take an afternoon and just need a large conference room with space to set up some exercises. You know the sort of thing – catching people falling from chairs, leading people around obstacles blindfolded... they reported a 12% increase in-"
“Yes, yes, Keira,” Cat cut in, “That all sounds splendidly warm and fuzzy, and no doubt you’d be very good at catching people.” She watched as Kara fidgeted with her glasses at that comment. “But that’s just not a grand enough gesture to satisfy the Board. And to top it off, Lois Lane has somehow gotten wind of this and she’s sent me this -” and Cat turned the screen round for Kara to see.
Her conservatively dressed assistant made a show of leaning in to see properly. There, smiling proudly, was Lois Lane herself, clad in what looked like a short blue and grey wetsuit and orange life jacket. She seemed to be having the time of her life in the bright yellow kayak she was seated in. Whoever framed the shot had done a fantastic job, as the sunlight glinted off the still lake waters and a hint of the forested shoreline was just visible off to one side. Behind Lois was a grinning group of men and women, all similarly clad in wetsuits and life jackets, but arrayed on a large wooden raft.
“That’s a good photo...” Kara began.
“Look at her!” Cat fumed, “Waving that oar like a trophy. And surely she knows that that wetsuit is doing her no favours, just holding in some of the flaws we all know are there!”
Kara wasn’t so sure. Lois certainly looked good in that wetsuit. “They all look very happy, Ms Grant,” she ventured.
“Why would anyone be happy sitting in a wet canoe with, with, with slime in your hair and wearing a generic one-size-fits-no-one wetsuit?” Cat ranted. “Hurray for them, successfully tying together some bits of wood and managing to not drown.”
Kara leaned in more to read what Lois had written underneath the photo, and as she leaned closer Cat hoped her assistant thought her elevated heart rate, which she could no doubt hear, was due to anger, not anything else.
Cat,
Heard about your little difficulties there, and thought this might boost your morale.
Maybe CatCo isn’t so purrfect after all. Plenty of room for Dave in our new Daily Planet Tower.
Here’s our Columnist and Senior Editorial Team at our Annual Daily Planet Team Building Weekend, where we set the record for fastest raft, beating the previous record set by the Obamas in 2012.
Afraid of getting your paws wet?
-Lois
Cat watched as Kara frowned as she reached the end of the email. Kara was a gentle soul but she’d seen how fiercely protective she could be of her boss and CatCo in general.
“Well!” Kara huffed, straightening up, “I always thought their new Tower was frankly bigger than necessary, and actually I heard they were having difficulty finding a firm to lease out some of the middle floors. Also the designer failed to take into account the wind tunnel effect caused by the angle of the south side and the neighbouring block, which causes all sorts of problems in bad weather, and Cl- I mean, Superman, said the turbulence it created made one pregnant lady he was carrying to hospital airsick...” Kara shuddered, remembering Clark’s graphic description of that particular encounter.
Cat smiled, “Keira, much as I appreciate your support – the issue isn’t the design of our Tower – clearly the Daily Planet is just compensating for something – but with how we’re going to show Loi – show the Board that they have nothing to worry about. You must hear a lot of gossip when you’re standing around that germ-filled vessel you call a water cooler. What do people say about working here?”
Kara shuffled her feet slightly and fidgeted with her glasses again, a sure sign that she was uncomfortable. “I don’t know, Ms Grant, people say a lot of things they don’t mean. I’m sure Dave will come round and I know Toby didn’t mean it when he said he needed time off to see his therapist...” She trailed off, looking at Cat’s stern expression. “Surely the most important thing is that we’re making a difference here! We report honest news and, and give people hope and - ”
“Kiera,” Cat stopped her mid-ramble. “As much as I think you Millennials are a soft touch, and if I wasn’t so politically correct I’d say you all need to grow a pair, it could be that the Board are on to something. We are more than a media conglomerate at CatCo. We are a family. And as nauseating as most families are, we can at least try to create an environment where you all feel free to reach the full extent of your emotionally-stunted potential.” Cat stood and began pacing behind her desk, waving her glasses to punctuate her words. “I want you to look into this. Find us a venue that’s better than any soggy tree-hugging lake the Daily Planet might have used. And book a weekend for all the Tribune and News staff – make it compulsory attendance. They can come and learn to be happy together whether they like it or not.”
She was gratified to see that Kara immediately began tapping away again at her tablet. “Of course, Ms Grant,” she replied and smiled, “I’ll get on to it right away.”
As she hurried out of the office, Cat sat down and glared at Lois in the ridiculous canoe again.
“This had better be worth it,” she muttered.