Chapter Text
Simon loved math class. It was his favorite subject; he would take math classes for the entirety of his high school years because that’s how much he loved math.
Because that’s how much he loved Jace Lightwood.
It was the only class Simon shared with him, the only time where Simon can get to watch him from his seat. The only instance where he’d get to listen to Jace’s ethereal laughter.
He could swear on everything he loved that Jace has the most beautiful laugh he’s ever heard in his entire life.
Everything was beautiful about him anyways. From his colored eyes and golden hair to his fit body and confident persona.
But they were just friends, that’s how it was. He wasn’t even sure if “friends” was the correct term used to define their relationship. Classmates seemed more adequate.
The only thing Simon hated about him more than anything was the fact that he was the most oblivious person to ever roam this very earth. Clary, Simon’s best and only friend, endured so much in order to help him summon up the courage to ask Jace out. And he did. He went up to Jace’s locker and shakily tapped his shoulder. “Hey, I’m Simon…Simon... from math class…” Jace blinked, looking at the taller boy with puzzlement. “Who?”
Simon felt his insides twist violently in disappointment. “Y’know.. uh… I’m the one who plays the guitar in our school’s band. The one who keeps wearing graphic tees..” He added hopefully, almost questioningly as he eyed him through his thick glasses. Still, he was not met with a response. “Anyways, I was wondering if you’re free this week? I was wondering.. I was.. wondering if we could watch a movie together? Suicide Squad is coming out and I’m so excited! I can’t wait for Harley’s character development. Honestly, it’s the best. I’m actually looking forward to see Poison Ivy and her together in the movies. Joker is an abusive prick… He-“ Simon rambled, then casted a quick look over at Jace who looked absolutely petrified.
Simon stopped talking, and was about to fucking burst into tears. He just ruined the only shot he had at winning him over. But right now, chances are little to none. And judging by Jace’s scowl, it was mostly the latter. “So, what do you think?”
He remembered Jace saying something along the lines of ‘Sorry bro, I have a really huge biology test coming up this week and I gotta cram up, you get me?'. Everything else was a blur from the tears that were welling up.
Simon just nodded, that’s all he could have done back then. He felt paralyzed to the bone and regretted the minute he approached him. Jace wouldn’t understand Simon’s notion even if he got him a LED banner with ‘Fuck me’ written over it in big, bold letters because they’re sickeningly, inevitably just bros. And now, he managed to freak the living shit out of him.
‘Bro’, Simon laughed bitterly to himself. Of all the things Jace could have called him.
---
After what happened that day, Simon was absent for the rest of his classes. Clary grew worried, and after a couple of hours of twisting and turning in her seat, she excused herself and ran to the hallways. Whenever Simon was in a funk, he would just hide in the janitor’s closet. She knew him better than anyone did, hell she probably knew him more than he knew himself. After looking around to make sure nobody saw her, she quietly knocked on the door. “Simon?” She whispered softly, and was met with no response. “Simon I know you’re in there. I can hear you sniffling. I won’t press, I promise. Just open the door.” She implored, her hand on the knob. She heard shuffling noises inside and automatically assumed it was Simon who was getting up from the floor and collecting himself. The door unlocked.
“Was it that bad?” Clary asked once she got in and closed the door, sliding down the wall and sitting next to her best friend who was currently a mess. He shot her a stern look, as if reminding her that she promised not to press.
“I feel stupid.” He admitted, shrugging. “I thought things would be easier for me if I came out of the closet. I actually regret coming out. I’ve been called a faggot, I get made fun of almost all the time. And if they’re nice enough, they’d just call me ‘the pansexual with the glasses who came out last year’.”
“I’m sorry.” Clary said, her voice sad. She felt very protective of her best friend, and seeing him in this state shattered her heart to a million pieces. “You don’t deserve this kind of treatment. I mean, if I came out of the closet too they’d probably cheer me on and find it hot. Fetishizing pieces of shit, I hate this school.” She ranted, her fiery red hair complementing her current angry mood. “We all deserve better.”
“Yeah, yeah we do.” Simon chuckled. “I just really, really love Jace. I’m not even sure if he plays for my team. I’m seriously stupid for thinking for a second that this would work. Ugh, I hate him.”
“No you don’t.” Clary retorted.
“I know.” Simon whined, playfully shoving Clary who laughed quietly.
“Do you want me to talk to him? Jace, I mean. I’ve talked to him once or twice before. I can get to know him better for you, maybe he’ll turn out to be a raging queer who has a thing for the pansexual with the glasses!” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully, which made Simon laugh genuinely for the first time in a long while. He was so grateful for Clary.
He honestly didn’t know if he would be able to survive this shitty excuse of a school if it weren’t for her. She was there for him through the ups and downs.
“Would you do that for me?” He asked, a glimmer of hope in his tone. Maybe, just maybe, he and Jace can actually hit it off.
“Of course I can! Besides, I’m not in it just for you. His sister his hot as fuck.”
"Isabelle, right? She intimidates me. But you guys would look cute together.” Simon grinned.
“Oh my god, right? We share a couple of classes together. The only thing I know about her is that she walks all over boys. She gets asked out almost every day yet she turns all of them down in like a second.” Clary said excitedly, her smile wide. “Also, she smells like vanilla.”
“Vanilla is nice.” Simon approved, looking at her fondly. “Look at us, crushing over the Lightwoods.
“Don’t worry, we totally got this.” Clary laughed, this time not bothering with lowering her voice. She got up and dusted her jeans, before hooking her thumbs in her belt loops. Simon noticed paint smeared on the hem of her shirt. However, it wasn’t a foreign sight. If Clary’s entire attire didn’t somewhat have paint stains, then it wasn’t really the Clary that he knows.
“Thank you. For this, and for everything. I owe you.” Simon pulled her into a bear hug, in which Clary accepted by wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him gently.
“I got you. Forever and always.” Clary sighed into her best friend’s shoulder.