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*** TWO WEEKS AGO ***
Tick , the noise echoed through the empty house. 007n7 had never bothered adding sound effects to his GUI, so even as he repeatedly pressed the enter key all that accompanied him was the constant tock of the clock.
Enter, tick , No results found, tock .
Tick , he takes off his glasses to rub his eyes, tock , he jumps at the sudden sound of his door be̶̺͖̦̱̲͝ll ringing.
Run to the door, tick , throw it open, tock .
Tick , his gaze settles on the envelope on his doorstep, tock , he stares at the stamp that marks it as having come from the police.
Bring it inside to the kitchen table, tick , illuminated by a single dying lightbulb, tock .
Tick , with slow movements he breaks the seal, tock , as if he can manifest his fantasy by feigning nonchalance.
Pull two papers from the envelope, tick , four words on the first, tock .
Tick , ‘you have our condolences’, tock ,
Tick , ‘CORONER’S REPORT’, tock .
Tick
‘Deceased’
Tick
Ti-i̷̛͇̞̙̯̳͈̫̿̉̈̋͐̀̎̕ͅc̴̢̜̥̯͋̐̀͛͑̅̅̇k̴̨̬̙̓̈́͝
Gone
***
Kids are not a delight, nor a blessing, nor anything else even mildly positive. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either delusional or in denial. Having a kid means sleepless nights, stress filled days, gray hairs by the time you’re 25, and your favourite coffee mug has been turned into a planter pot.
Having a kid means moments at night where you wake up and rush to your child’s room, illuminated only by a soft blue nightlight. You’ll stand there above them, heart pounding out of your chest as you watch the steady rise and fall of theirs. They’re still breathing, they’re still there, your baby is still here. Your heart never stops pounding like that.
Kids do that sort of thing.
You’ll always love them for it.
*** ONE YEAR AGO ***
The intercom crackled to life, a tinny voice echoing throughout the school, ‘ C00lkidd to the front desk please, C00lkidd to the front desk.’
Before his teacher had a chance to tell him to pack up and go, C00lkidd was already out the door. His backpack bounced up and down from how fast he ran. With the squeal of rubber soles against the linoleum floor, he slid through the doors into the main foyer where the front desk was.
The receptionist glanced up at him, made a face at the marks his shoes had left on the floor, then went straight back to her work with a sigh. His dad smiled at him from where he’d just finished signing him out of school for the day.
“You ready to go, kid?”
C00lkidd nodded, already tugging on his dad’s hand to get him out the door faster.
He allowed himself to be dragged with a lighthearted huff, saying a quick goodbye to the receptionist before he was out the door. There was no point to it, of course, no matter how much 007n7 insisted on those niceties. Still, if he wanted to pretend to be an upstanding citizen then Noli wasn’t going to ruin that for him.
C00lkidd chattered on as he walked, excited to be free from school. You’d think that after years of these outings the novelty would have worn off, but spending six hours a day among people that hate you makes anything else seem like Heaven.
Idly, he wondered to himself if he should do this more often. C00lkidd would certainly benefit from it, and it wasn’t like the school would look close enough to realize that none of his absences had actually been logged in the system. Something to consider when C00lkidd was older, perhaps?
He tugged C00lkidd back from the road as a car sped past. C00lkidd stuck his tongue out at the car, but he was more mature than that. Of course, the only reasonable response was to lock the car’s brake and increase the speed. A lot. Did he mention there was a turn?
“[REMEMBER] kid,” Noli said as he looked around to make sure everyone was staring at the crash and not him, ”driving is overrated, that’s why you’re gonna learn how to teleport today.”
C00lkidd’s eyes instantly lit up, and Noli had to shush him before he started yelling in excitement, “lemme teleport us home first,[THEN] you can freak out, alright?”
C00lkidd nodded, holding onto Noli’s hand as he opened his GUI.
Of course, as his father’s son, he made sure to make a face at the wreck as it went up in flames before he disappeared, leaving a purple shadow behind for just one moment.
*** EIGHT YEARS AGO ***
“I’m sorry.”
007n7 says this sincerely, looking more tired than Noli had ever thought possible. The confession makes him pause for a moment, his rage curbed by genuine confusion.
“What the hell are you [apologizing] for?”
007n7 just looks more tired at that, shakes his head,”for what I’ve done to you.”
Noli’s confusion has not been cleared up in the slightest. If anything, he’s just more confused, but it does not replace his rage. This is far from the first time he hasn’t understood 007n7. Even when they were “partners”(and only because 007n7 never said whether they were more) Noli wasn’t an equal. Even now with the Void Star 007n7 might as well be alien.
He hates that, the fact he has never and will never really know 007n7.
Noli’s mask is completely still, but he’s visibly shaking, hands balled into fists so tight the fabric of his gloves threatens to tear. 007n7 knows that underneath his mask Noli is biting down on his cheek hard enough to draw blood. That sort of thing happens with Noli. 007n7 pisses him off, and the only target he can find is himself.
007n7 is the one to turn around and walk away, back to his kid, shutting the door to his home behind him. Noli waits.
007n7 has grown into a tired man, but Noli hasn’t changed one bit.
*** ONE YEAR AGO ***
“Now try coming down, centre of the courtyard like before!” Noli shouted up at C00lkidd, who’d managed to teleport himself up onto one of the decorative stars that ran along the edge of the temple’s roof.
C00lkidd gave a thumbs up, grin so bright even Noli could see it.
He knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t stop himself from equating C00lkidd’s skill to something he inherited from his papa.
Never mind the fact that 007n7 would throw a fit if he ever found out that Noli had taught his kid how to exploit. He’d always been the best at teleporting between the two of them, and had been relentless in lording it over Noli’s head. Everywhere they went 007n7 would insist on getting them there. From realm to realm, with needless stops for mere moments, 007n7 had loved showing off.
Noli had always loved watching. Not just because of the skill needed for rapid fire teleport, but because it was 007n7 showing off for him.
007n7 would’ve been a better teacher than him, he’s sure of that at least. If things had turned out differently, maybe 007n7 would be here with him watching their child try and figure out his X and Y coordinates.
Before Noli has time to consider something even more stupid, C00lkidd disappears from the rooftop and reappears right next to Noli down in the courtyard. Perfectly in the centre, of course.
“[YOU’RE A NATURAL], kid!” Noli reached down to ruffle C00lkidd’s hair, and C00lkidd squawked before trying to duck out of Noli’s reach.
He smoothed down his hair and glared at his dad, who merely raised a gloved hand to try and cover his smile. It didn’t work, and evolved into a full laugh as C00lkidd huffed and stamped his foot.
Just when C00lkidd was preparing to yell at his dad, perhaps chew up his robes, one of Noli’s followers approached the two. All of the followers were clad in the same deep purple robes and white mask, with nothing to distinguish them from each other. That never stopped C00lkidd from pretending he knew who they were, and Noli from pretending that he was right.
“M’lord,” they bowed, “as you requested, I am here to inform you that the school day shall end in ten minutes.”
Noli dismissed the follower at the same time as C00lkidd whined and clung to his robes. What child would voluntarily give up lessons on how to teleport to go home and do homework?? Certainly not a cool one, that’s for sure.
“[C-C]c’mon kid,” Noli said as he tried to pry C00lkidd off his robes to no avail, “don’t you wanna go home and see your papa?”
“No! Not unless you come too!”
Noli sighed as he leaned down to be at eye level with C00lkidd, but before he could spout his usual excuses C00lkidd blurted out, “papa wants to see you again! You have no idea how much he misses you!”
C00lkidd’s grip tightens in frustration as his dad just ruffles his hair, not believing him at all. It’s baffling how the smartest people in a child’s life can simultaneously be the most stupid.
“I’ll cons[I-IIII-I]der it, kid.”
‘I’ll consider it’, meaning, ‘yeah no’.
“ Dad ,” C00lkidd whined, “that’s not good enough. Papa loves you, can’t you just talk to him? Just once?”
Noli wanted to refuse, but how could any father force reality upon their own child? The truth of the matter is that C00lkidd has two parents whose relationship he can’t understand, just that they are his but not each others’. Neither of them really understand it either, and they’re not eager to figure it out. They’re not the sort who can just make it work, but Noli at least isn’t willing to say that. He’s always been the weakest link.
“I can’t promise [ANYTHING, BUT ] I’ll try to talk to him, ok kid?” Noli hugged C00lkidd as he spoke, not willing to risk C00lkidd seeing the fear on his mask as he actually contemplated the idea. 007n7 has changed, but over the years Noli has grown less disdainful of the man he’s become. He’s a good father, and that’s the sort of thing that matters to Noli now.
C00lkidd hugged him back so hard he threatened to snap Noli’s bones, not noticing his dad’s apprehension.
With only a slight wince Noli foisted C00lkidd up so he could open up his GUI, “let’s get you back home to [YOUR] papa.”
*** ELEVEN YEARS AGO ***
They’d spent the first part of the night at a party, indulging in far too much alcohol for their own good. 007n7, unwilling to back down from a challenge (no matter how stupid) had downed the equivalent to a whole bottle of vodka just to show up some frat boys. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, because it was, but that doesn’t make it any less stupid.
Noli had slung himself over 007n7’s shoulder and whispered that into his ear over the music, and they’d laughed about it together. 007n7 is an idiot, Noli’s idiot.
When they inevitably got bored of booze and floozies, they’d gone off to terrorize Robloxia. They could hardly recall how many buildings they burnt down on that spree, but that wasn’t what they cared about from that night. 007n7 remembered the way Noli laughed, his porcelain face glowing orange from the fire below them. He remembers feeling grateful that the lighting hid his blush, because of course he couldn’t let Noli know that 007n7 never wanted to look away from him.
Noli was beautiful like that, smiling at 007n7.
Noli and 007n7 drunkenly stumbled into their apartment, only barely managing to kick the door closed as they leaned against each for support, giggling all the while. Like lovestruck schoolgirls they’d collapsed onto the couch, uncaring for the smoke and soot they’d have to clean out of the cushions in the morning.
Noli was the one to stop laughing, lean in closer until he was basically straddling 007n7. It was 007n7 that sat up to meet Noli in a kiss, the first for both of them.
007n7 pushed Noli away suddenly, standing up with a look of horror on his face as if he’d only just realized what he’d done. Noli shifts up on the couch, confused, but with growing dread as 007n7 stares at him with his chest heaving in panic. He reaches out, tries to ask 007n7 what’s wrong, but all he does is turn around and walk out of their apartment.
*** ELEVEN MONTHS AGO ***
“Noli you need to stop too, the void star-“
“What? [WHAT ] about the void star? Where the fuck wa[ S-S-S ] this concern when you made me take the damned thing?”
007n7 and Noli may have grown apart, but he can see how his robes hang loose, how his boots shift like they’re too big. 007n7 can still see when Noli is falling apart. What the void star has done to Noli is indistinguishable from what he himself did.
Noli sneers as he realizes 007n7 has seen through his facade. Regret is painted across 007n7’s face, giving way to despair as Noli stalks forward, pulling back the hood of his cloak.
“You don’t [get to] be concerned now,” Noli hissed,”Not when you have no idea what you’ve done.”
He removes his cloak first, the simple clasp coming undone to let the fabric pool on the floor. There’s still his robes, but 007n7 can see the bandages that cover his neck where his robes can’t reach. They’re rotten.
007n7 can’t bring himself to step back as Noli gets closer. Noli grips both sides of his robes and pulls down, letting the fabric rest on the inside of his elbows, revealing the expanse of gauze that covers his whole chest. Rotten, soaked through with puss and blood. 007n7 nearly recoils from the stench of sickly sweet perfume masking the decay, like a corpse covered in essential oils.
He wants to throw up, but Noli grabs his hand and brings it up to his neck, to the top of his throat where the bandages don’t cover.
Holding his breath, 007n7 lets Noli hook his index finger under the first bandage. It’s wet, as he’d expected, but also cold. When Noli pulls his finger down, he finds that the bandages themselves have grown slimy as they’d fused with Noli’s skin.
Well, what little remained of his skin anyways.
Dark, rotten chunks clung to the bandages, revealing a festering nebula within Noli’s flesh. It was Noli’s flesh now.
Swallowing back bile, 007n7 looked back at Noli’s mask, at the smile currently frozen on his face. Noli tilted his head up slightly as 007n7 gently took it off to give him a better view… of…
Empty space.
“You did this to me.”
I know
“An[D-D-D ] then you [ LEFT ],”Noli laughed, “just to raise someone [ ELSE’S] kid.”
I’m sorry , 007n7 thought to himself, but he said nothing.
Oh, how Noli hated his silence more than anything. He could always pry secrets from Noli, but never the other way around. Damn this, damn him. A decade and then some of agony, a pain that’s left him ruined , it’s the least he can do to return the favour.
”Y’know, they don’t hate [HIM] because he’s different,” Noli began, voice monotone aside from the static hum,”they hate him because of you.”
“He could’ve been happy if it weren’t for you.”
007n7 couldn’t say anything.
It’s a parent’s worst nightmare to hear that you’re doing things wrong. Worse is when you know it’s true.
And yet you won’t do a damn thing about it.
With a deceptively gentle grip Noli took his mask back from 007n7, “go, there’s plenty of space in the courtyard to teleport.”
He turned away to put his mask back on, pulling his robes back up too. For a moment, 007n7 wanted to reach out and help him. The residual instinct of a different time, a different man.
Instead he turns around and walks out of the room.
*** TEN MONTHS AGO ***
“Kid??” Noli kneeled down on the pavement to check C00lkidd for injuries, not caring in the slightest that neither he nor C00lkidd were in disguise. He’d teleported to C00lkidd’s location the moment he’d received the message, only knowing that his kid was in distress and his other father wasn’t there to help.
C00lkidd’s sniffling turned into heaving sobs as soon as Noli knelt down, leading to him all but throwing himself at Noli. Luckily he didn’t seem to be injured, with only his clothes being lightly singed.
Noli knew C00lkidd hadn’t been happy with his parents less than stellar reunion, but he hadn’t expected him to take matters into his own hands. It did make a certain amount of sense, especially in the mind of an adolescent boy. His parents are keeping secrets from each other, his parents don’t like each other the way parents should, secrets are the problem.
Maybe if C00lkidd had decided to share that Noli had taught him to exploit, 007n7 would finally have turned him in to the admins for no reason other than he was a bad influence on C00lkidd, but that wasn’t C00lkidd’s secret to share. Funny how kids understand that better than adults.
“He-“C00lkidd sobbed, “he hates me.”
“That’s not true,” Noli picked C00lkidd up, opening his gui, “he just, needs some time to himself. Your papa loves you very much, and that will never change.”
Never mind the fact that 007n7 was no doubt scouring Robloxia for his son. Never mind the fact that the one thing 007n7 could never stand was being alone.
Noli couldn’t deny the satisfaction he felt, finally making 007n7 hurt .
He’ll let 007n7 get desperate, realize that his insistence on the straight and narrow has left him with people who’ll rejoice over the disappearance of the exploiter’s kid. It’s karma after all. 007n7 will never be the same hacker that Noli loved, but Noli will love him all the same.
They’ll be a family, the one that Noli didn’t even know he was waiting for.
*** NINE MONTHS AGO ***
007n7 can wait a bit longer, C00lkidd is having so much fun after all.
*** EIGHT MONTHS AGO ***
007n7 can wait a bit longer, he still needs some time to cool off after C00lkidd’s little stunt
*** SIX MONTHS AGO ***
007n7 can wait a bit longer.
*** THREE MONTHS AGO ***
He can wait.
*** NINE YEARS AGO ***
He can wait.
*** ONE DAY AGO ***
He can w̸͓͕̯̋͋͠ą̵̣̘̻͛͠i̶͔͎̋͆t̶̫͖̜̜̆
*** TONIGHT ***
Boots collide with pavement, accompanying the man’s humming. The sort of man that, if it was light enough for suburbia to be awake, would have the police called on him within seconds.
A missing child’s poster has been tucked into his pocket, an excuse.
He’ll knock on the door, stand back and look suitably worried at 007n7’s no doubt haggard appearance.
They’ll be happy together.
He knocks on the door.
No response.
He leans in, tries to listen for any sign of life, but all he hears is the tick tock of a clock.
He teleports into the house, right in front of the front door. He can feel the rot, a miasma that threatens to choke him. It’s coming from the kitchen.
He should’ve waited.
***
Having a kid means moments at night where you get home and rush to your child’s room, illuminated only by the nebula outside the window. You’ll stand there above them, heart pounding out of your chest as you watch the steady rise and fall of theirs. They’re still breathing, they’re still there, your baby is still here. Your heart never stops pounding like that.
People disappear.
You’ll always know it was your fault.