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something’s in my mind (and I’m focused on you)

Summary:

Will’s words played over and over in Mike’s head. 

I don't like girls. 

I. Don’t. Like. Girls. 

He couldn’t think about anything else. It played over and over in his head like a mantra. How could he not know? Why did Will never tell him? Did Will tell him? Did he try, and Mike just never realised? 

Or

Mike is spiralling and makes a confession to Will

Notes:

This is my first ever byler fic so pls be nice <3

 

Thank you so so much to @rwrbyler , @chappellsgarden , @lilymizbiz and @JETBLACKHE4LY on twt for being my beta readers<33 love you all soo much.

Title from the song figure you out by djo ! <3

Work Text:

Will’s words played over and over in Mike’s head. 

I don't like girls. 

I. Don’t. Like. Girls. 

He couldn’t think about anything else. It played over and over in his head like a mantra. How could he not know? Why did Will never tell him? Did Will tell him? Did he try, and Mike just never realised? 

Mike thought back to spring break in California, when Will had given him that painting. That beautiful, sacred painting that he had treasured ever since. The one he thought El had commissioned for him. Because that’s what Will had told him, and Will wouldn’t lie to him, right? 

Since then, Mike had figured out that El had nothing to do with the painting. She'd never even seen it. She'd told Mike, when they broke up, that Will was being so secretive that year. Almost like he was hiding, and she never understood it. But, he guessed, now they knew why.  

Mike thought about Will again. He said that he kept pushing and pushing people away. 

A bell rang in his mind, where had he heard that before? 

If she was mean to you, or if she was pushing you away, it’s because she was scared of losing you

Was that it? Was that whole speech about Will? 

Of course, the thought had played in Mike's mind before, but he’d never entertained it. But what if?

If all of that  was really Will’s feelings, then did he really mean it all? That he’d always need him? That his words gave him courage? That he loved him?

And that crush he’d brought up. The one he said he knew wasn’t like him? Surely that was Mike, too. right?  

Mike was spiraling. He needed to talk to Will. Now.

”Mike? Mike, are you listening?” 

The familiar voice snapped him out of his trance. He blinked rapidly, ridding the thoughts from his mind, “Sorry, Mrs Byers. What’d you say?”

She sighed, “In order for Steve’s plan to work, we need to keep Will safe for now, which means he needs to be away from the lab right now. We need you to stay with him; he can’t be alone. Think you can handle that?”

Mike gulped. Him. Will. Alone. Safe. 

These words replayed in his head. But then-

“Woah, woah wait- what about my bomb? I made it! I should be the one to-“

”-Oops! Sorry, middle Wheeler. I’ll take care of it, I promise!” Robin swiftly interrupted him, swiping the homemade explosive from him and wandering away with Steve. 

“What- How is that-? Okay. Fine,” Mike sighed, taking a moment to observe their surroundings, “We aren’t far from my house. I can always take Will there?” He suggested, turning towards the group. They nodded, agreeing before sending the pair on their way.

˚⟡˖ ࣪ 

They walked in silence to the Wheeler house. Mike noticed Will walking slightly further away from him than normal. 

Usually when they’d walk side by side, they’d be so close that sometimes their shoulders would brush. Mike liked having Will close like that. He liked it even more when their hands would accidentally touch, though he’d never admit that. 

Does he like that too?

He hated this extra distance between them. Every time he’d try to step closer, Will would move away again. Further and further away from Mike. 

Normally, they’d be talking, and if they were silent, it was a comfortable silence.

Safe

But this didn’t feel comfortable, not to Mike. 

Have I lost him? He doesn’t want to be close to me anymore?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           They finally entered the Wheeler house, and Mike immediately made his way towards the staircase. 

The staircase that led down to-

“-The basement?” Will questioned. 

Mike nodded. “It’s safer, you know? Or at least-“ he gulps, “I’ve always felt safer down there, I guess.” He ended his sentence with a shrug, avoiding Will’s eyes for just a moment.

”Yeah. Yeah, me too.” Will breathed, following Mike down the creaky stairs. 

Mike sat down on the couch in the 1983 version of his basement, slowly looking around the time capsule that was frozen on the worst day of his best friend's life. 

Probably the worst day of his life, too. 

Will sat down next to him, their knees almost brushing. And the silence was back, though this time it was deafening. 

“I can’t believe Robin took my bomb,” Mike said, trying to start a conversation. “I worked hard on that, you know.” 

He nudged Will’s knee with his, to which Will almost immediately retreated. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you did,’ he whispered, looking down at his feet. 

Shit.

Mike sighed. 

He thought again about the conversation Will had with the group earlier. He thought about how he didn’t say anything. 

God, why didn’t he say anything? 

He just sat there and stared. He completely froze. 

He had to say something now or he never would. 

“Listen..I’m sorry I didn’t say much earlier. In the Squawk, I mean.” 

“Mike, we don’t have to-“

”-No, no, we do,” he interrupted. ”I’m just- I-“ 

“-Mike, really it’s fi-“

”-It’s not fine, Will!” Mike mentally cursed himself for snapping. 

He’d done it again, hadn’t he? He couldn’t get his words out, got frustrated at himself, and he’d taken it out on someone else. Worse, he’d taken it out on Will. Again. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“It’s okay, Mike. Really.” Will tried to reassure him, but it wouldn’t work. 

“I’m not sorry about that. I-I mean, I am. It’s just-“ Mike looked down at his hands that were fidgeting in his lap. 

He knew he had to choose his next words very carefully.

He sucked in a deep breath. 

“This person you like...” He gulped. “Sorry, liked.” he spoke softly, feeling his heart speed up. 

“How did you know that they-“ he stammered “That they weren’t..y’know.. ‘like you’?”

He turned his head to face Will, who had an almost unreadable expression on his face. 

“What?” Will asked dumbfoundedly, like he couldn’t believe Mike was even asking this question. 

Mike took another breath before speaking again. 

“I mean, you said you knew they weren’t, so I- I guess I’m just wondering, did you tell them?” He spoke faster this time. His eyes were trained on Will’s, he forced himself not to look anywhere else. No lower on the face than his eyes, but of course, his eyes had a mind of their own. He glanced at Will’s lips, so quickly he thought it wouldn’t even be noticeable. But Will noticed. 

“No, I- not exactly,” Will spoke softly, almost like he was nervous. 

“So, how did you know?” Mike asked again. “I mean, you can’t know for sure unless they tell you … right?” 

Will’s eyes finally met his own. Mike felt his lower lip tremble. He hoped, prayed that Will would understand him. 

“Mike, what are you saying?” Will said, voice barely above a whisper. 

Mike could feel his heart hammering against his chest. 

Now or never. 

“I think,” he started slowly, “Maybe,” he breathes. 

“What if they’re more like you than you think?”

Fuck

Mike couldn’t take that back. He felt his mouth go dry. 

Will stared at him closely, closer than he had looked at him in years. Almost as if he was studying him.

Mike looked anywhere but at Will. Maybe, if he didn’t look at him, this would be easier. 

“I’ve been thinking,” he felt his voice shaking before rushing out, “I know about the painting. I know El had nothing to do with it.”

Will let out a deep breath, one that seemed he had been holding for a while. 

“How- how’d you know?” He asked, he seemed almost ashamed. 

“It doesn’t matter how I know,I just know,” he looked at Will finally, whose eyes were slowly watering. 

“I also know all that stuff you said about me and El- it wasn’t about me and El at all, was it?” 

Will said nothing, only shook his head slowly. 

“It was about… me and you?” Mike asked softly, speaking in the voice he reserved only for Will.

Wil nodded again. Mike almost reached out to put his hand on his shoulder before quickly pulling away, diverting his gaze again. 

“You know,” he started. “That day, I thought I got it right. It was the day I thought, maybe … Maybe I’m not wrong for feeling this way.”

He couldn’t stop now. 

“Maybe you- I thought maybe you might feel the way I do. Different.”

Mike could feel Will’s eyes on him. Was he really admitting this? 

”And then later when El was-“ he paused, taking another shaky breath. “You were telling me to keep talking to her, and I just- I thought maybe I’d read it wrong.” 

He turned to Will again, “Did I? Read it wrong?”

Will smiled softly and shook his head, “No. No, you didn’t.

”Mike, I am so sorry I lied to you,” he confessed. “I just- I didn’t want you to think I was-“

”Different?” Mike interrupted. 

Will nodded, a single tear falling down his cheek.

”You are different, Will,” he smiled, “And that’s why I love you.”

Will froze. 

“You- what?”

Shit

Did he read it wrong again? God, did he really say that out loud? And now it’s out in the open. He wanted to look away, but his eyes were glued onto Will’s as if there was a magnet pulling them together. 

“I’m sorry. I’m s-“

”I’m not.” This time, it’s Will interrupting him.

Mike just stared at him with his brows furrowed. 

“You’re not?”

Will shakes his head.

“I love you too, Mike,” he whispered. 

Mike smiled, his own eyes filling with tears. 

“What-? Why are you crying?” Will asked. 

“I just- God, Will, I’m so sorry,” Mike wiped his tears with the back of his hand. 

“I told you, Mike. You don’t have to be-“

”Sorry. I know,” he interrupted again. 

“I’ve been such a jerk to you. These last few years, I-“ He stopped himself before going into any details. 

He stared deep into Will's eyes. 

“I am so sorry. For everything. You didn’t deserve any of it,” He said sincerely, and Will knew he meant every word. 

“You say ‘sorry’ too much. You’re starting to sound like me.” Will laughed, reaching out to wipe a stray tear that had fallen down Mike’s cheek, and Mike swore he could die from the soft touch. 

Will’s hand lingered on his cheek for just a few seconds too long, and Mike suddenly realised how close they really were. He let himself glance down at Will’s lips.

Once. Twice. Three times. 

They were so close they were breathing the same air. If Mike really wanted to, he could just-

“Mike,” Will whispered. 

Mike’s eyes snapped up to meet Will’s again, breaking him out of his trance. 

“Yeah?”

”Can I?” He asked, their noses were brushing now. 

Mike couldn’t bring himself to speak, he only nodded. 

Before he knew it, Will was kissing him. 

Will was kissing him

And he was kissing Will back.

Is this what it was supposed to feel like? It’d never felt like this before. 

Slow, but soft. Gentle and sure. 

And Will was still holding Mike’s face. 

They pulled away slowly, keeping their faces close together. Mike couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face, and neither could Will. He was sure he’d never been this happy before.

Will was the first to speak. 

“So…that was- good?” He asked, looking into Mike’s endless brown eyes. 

“Will, are you kidding? Best kiss of my life,” Mike smiled, making Will laugh. 

“Shut up!” He nudged his shoulder, “It’s just- that was my first- you know.” He blushed. 

“That was your first kiss?” Mike asked. Will nodded in response. 

“Was it- was it good?” Mike asked, suddenly panicked that he’d given Will a horrible first kiss that he’d never be able to relive. 

Will laughed, and Mike suddenly realised how much he loved the sound of Will’s laugh. He hoped he would get to hear it forever. 

“Well?” He asked again, now laughing too. 

Will stared at Mike’s lips. Instead of giving him an answer, he kissed him again.