Chapter Text
At the beach
It was over. War was over. Ordinemon was defeated. Tai was back with his friends- Those who had become as close as his family. The 7 people he could always count on. The skye started to look normal again and the digiworld and the human world would have time to heal now. After all that had happened most of the things being broken were reparable. Well, everything and everyone except for two.
Meicoomon and Mister Nishijima. They lost their life, so we could live. Both in their own way.
Mister Nishijima. The homeroom teacher that somehow ended up being their protector in a world that had been scary to all of them. That took them into his watch und made sure that they could fight in this world and the digi world. He made sure that everything was set up and things would work for them, even in those dark times. He gave his life, so Tai, Daisuke and the others could live. Tai had been so close to death, but he would live for Mister Nishijima who didn't even give him the chance to choose him over himself. He just made sure that he would be okay. He knew that they needed Tai and Agumon for that last battle, but still. It didn't seem fair that he had to die for a war that he shouldn't even have been part of himself.
Maybe you don't have to have a digimon to be a chosen one. Tai thought to himself, his heart silently aching, for not only loosing a teacher, but also what had become a friend, an ally that saved his life. I will never forget that.
Swallowing Tai looked at Meiko, the partner of the digimon, having to loose her life that all of this was possible. Even if Kari wouldn't believe him, if there had been a chance, they would've tried to save her. Tai had seen Takeru break, because of Patamon, he heard and partly saw what Wormmons death did to Ken. He had almost lost Agumon himself.
It would be a wound that was very hard to heal, but they would help her. Figure out how to make her feel better, if she let them. But something inside him told him, that Meicoomon, unlike Patamon and Wormmon wouldn't come back, since she died in the human world. And that was a hole that they could never fill for Meiko. He knew that and he hated it, because he didn't want to see the gentle, caring girl that they met a few weeks ago hurt. As a leader he had to make decisions, but killing Meicoomon was one of the hardest he ever made and he felt like he had failed Meiko and Kari, who had every right to be mad at him, even though he would've tried to find a way to save Meicoomon, if there had been one.
The pain in Meikos eyes said it all and made Tai look down for a moment. He was mad at himself for not being able to do anything against it, but he had to be strong again. He was a leader. Even though he did not feel like one. He came back to fight for the good along side Matt and the others and they won. That was all that mattered for now.
Matt. A single thought of the blonde boy- Or more to say man that was his best friend or supposed to be best friend or- Looking down he saw Koromon, half asleep, mumbling in his sleep something about food, which made him shake his head, but calm down. He needed to calm down. He couldn't let his thoughts destroy this again. Whatever it was or whatever might be or- Whatever it is or was, we need to talk. But I am scared. Where is my courage when I need it the most?
He suddenly felt two smaller arms around his waist, Koromon just slipping out of his arms just in time, still half sleeping, squeezing him tight. Looking down at his little sister who hugged him so tight it almost hurt, he was a bit surprised and relieved at the same time, smiling at her and hugging back, feeling wetness on his completely disheveld button up, but he didn't care.
''I am so sorry.'' He whispered in all earnesty which earned his little, maybe not so little sister anymore- To look up at him with tears in her eyes.
''I know, but you are still an idiot. But an idiot I was worried about and I am glad you are back even though I am still a little mad." She whispered, which made him laugh a little bit in relieve, looking at her, proudly.
She changed so much and grew up over the years, but she is still the same in her heart. The loving, caring Kari who would do anything for her friends.
Yet, he was pretty sure from the looks from a certain blonde boy out of the corner of his eye that there was someone who cared for her at least as much as Taichi himself. The younger blonde boy who had made the promise years ago that he would take care of Kari and he still did. Right now he was watching them, smiling with a look full of love that even made Tais big brother heart melt a tiny little bit. He didn't know what happened as he was gone, but something changed. He could sense it and he would have to ask Kari about it later. Even if it was Takeru after all, but-
If it is what I think it is I know she is in good hands. Even though I still want to kill him a little bit. Maybe I should figure out what happened first, but-
Tai shook his head, trying to not let his overprotective thoughts take over. There was a part of him that never wanted to let his little sister go, but he knew that if she finally let Takeru be with her the way everyone thought they should be since years- Then he knew he could live with that at some point.
Yet at the thought of his little sister, growing up and possibly finding a boyfriend he immediately hugged her tighter, sighing. Kari flinched in surprise, but he could feel her smile against his chest as she hugged back. She would always be his little sister and no one or nothing could change that. Even if he at some point had to share her with a certain boy of hope. He definitely still had to talk to them and also about Takerus intentions and-
He suddenly heard a splash in the sea in front of them and let go of Kari, as Takeru exclaimed ''Onichan, are you okay?''
Tai turned to the sea and saw Matt, still standing- Well now not anymore standing in the water. He was on his knees in it, taking deep breaths as if to calm down. Calm down from all the shock of what happened and what they had just experienced. He knew that expression. Matt was exhausted and in doubt. Tai could only imagine where all the doubt came from. But he knew that it was a doubt that he had felt so many times before. And it didn't exactly have something to do with the war they just fought. Even after all he did for everyone. For me. He is still in doubt and fighting with himself. And yet he still looks-
Shaking his head he saw how TK just wanted to walk towards his brother, wanting to walk past Kari and him, but Tai hold an arm out and stopped him. That earned him a half glaring, half confused face. TK barely ever glared at anyone, let alone Matt or Tai. Tai also felt some brotherly feelings towards the younger boy and he knew that all he wanted to do is help his older brother but-
''Can I talk to him?'' He asked Takeru seriously.
The younger blonde looked surprised at him at the question from Tai. Tai didn't have to ask TK to talk to his brother, yet in this situation he still did. If he could have the first talk. Help him up and show him that he was still there. And more. At that thought Tai shook his head inwardly, but kept his gaze steady at TK who was studying him. He understood. Matt and him hadn't left on the best terms, but- Tai always cared for Matt. No fight or situation could ever change that and he needed to talk to him. Needed to make sure he was okay.
Expecting the youinger one to take up some kind of resistence, he was surprised at the small nod from Takeru.
A greateful smile appeared on Taichis face, as he put a hand on Takerus shoulder and said ''Thank you.'' before walking towards the sea.
Looking back for a split moment he saw how his little sister grabbed Takerus hand as if to calm him down and Takeru looked at her with a look of worry, but yet so much love that Tai swallowed. He did definititely need to talk to them later about this. He missed out on something. Well, a lot of things, but this was about his little sister and the boy she liked and that liked her back and-
Get yourself together Tai and stop worrying about the love life of your sister. You have someone yourself you have to talk to. Now.
They waited already too long to talk this out. Almost too long to ever talk it out. If Tai would've really died without having talked to Matt and making up- The guy that was his best friend - And so much more to Tai- Shaking his head Tai didn't want to think about that. He was still here and they could talk. Now. There was no better time than now and he understood that after that almost death experience. Those few minutes down there taught him so much about life and the future and-
Biting his lip Tai walked into the water, not caring if his ankles got wet or not, the cold stream actually felt good on his seemingly burning body. He was still full of adrenaline, but also exhaustion. Yet that did not matter right now and he knew that. What mattered was the beautiful man in front of him, being in doubt after he just led the biggest fight of their lifes within the blink of an eye after Taichis disappearing.
It only took a few steps until he had arrived in front of the blonde, not needing to look through the water to see his fists on the ground . Tai bit his lip and stopped in front of him, holding a hand out to him, waiting for him to notice.
Matt didn't realize how long he was kneeling in the water and he didn't know, if he even cared. He had heard the cry of his little brother, being sure that he would come for him soon, if he didn't stand up, but he didn't know if he had the strength to. He had been so full of worry and doubt about everything that had happened. Had he made the right decisions? Did the others still think of him as a friend or had he been too harsh, too demanding, too much of an idiot because he thought driven by the thought of winning, winning for the digimon, for their world, their future, for Tai.
Tai. He really did survive and came back. That idiot managed to survive and come back.
Shaking his head he swallowed. This had all been too much. Loosing Tai, fighting to kill Meicoomon, all the destroyed things through this fight. Loosing Tai. Even though Tai was still alive he was still scared that he lost him on the way. They had fought together and it had felt good again, as if their hearts along side the hearts of Gabumon and Agumon were aligned again. As if everything could be okay again after all that had happened. Especially after Matt, taking Tais place for the fight. Had that really been what he wanted? Why did he feel so unqualified, so useless and helpless then?
Before he could finish his trail of thoughts a hand appeared in front of his face. A scratched, a bit bloody from who knew what hand that he knew very well.
Matt looked up to see Tai staring at him, but breaking into a smile as he realised that Matt had looked up. Their eyes met and Matt felt tears in his eyes that he tried to blink away. Wait, was there something wet in Tais eyes, too? Tai couldn't be crying, could he? Was he crying because of him? Out of relieve?
The blonde boy didn't even really know why he was crying right now. How was he supposed to tell why Tai was crying or why Matt was staring at him, instead of taking his hand. The hand that meant a whole lot in that moment. It was more than just a hand to help him up. It was a signal, a sign. He knew it. As if Tai was saying Let's leave this bullshit behind us finally. Let's be Tai and Matt again.
A single tear rolled down his face, not being able to control it and Matt quickly wiped it away, but it did break the staring contest with Tai. Why am i crying? I am probably looking like an idiot right now. Yet, so much has happened and-
''Come on.'' Tai said way softer than he had expected it from the brunette and Matt looked at him in shock and at the hand that was still held out to him.
Tai was an impulsive idiot, but he did know when there was the time to be soft and gentle. Most of the times at least and he barely ever got that kind of voice from Tai, but it did stir so much in him in that moment after all the fighting over the past weeks. This will be okay again. We can be best friends again. War is over. I don't have to replace Tai. He's right here with me and ready to take over again. I don't have to be strong alone anymore.
Inhaling deeply Matt finally grabbed Tais hand and let himself be pulled up.
''Took you long enough.'' Tai joked as Matt stood and Matt rolled his eyes, realising that there was the Taichi he knew and he called his best friend again.
The one who would make jokes of him about being too cold and then sometimes to emotional. Too overprotective at times and too stubborn. That he should put up his courage more and try to be the best version of himself. The guy that pulled his strings at all the right places and led him into yet another fight to win. Together with the others. Their siblings and their second family. The guy that knew what to do and how to be a leader naturally. Even if he sometimes had tried to run away from it. He still was and would always be, until-
As Matt stood, shaking himself a bit from the cold water he interrupted his own thoughts by saying ''Don't ever do that again.''
Tai looked at him confused for a moment, but then thought he understood. I wasn't planning on leaving again anytime soon, Yamato. Especially not before we have talked. Because I need you in my life. Tai didn't want to say how much, but he did know what his heart was telling him about the blonde boy in front of him that now stared him down as well, as they had done so many times the past weeks in their arguments, but also in their making up. A slight fluttering around his heart started and Tai cursed it to shut up. Now wasn't the time for that. It never was. But through all the exhaustion and pain he felt he couldn't stop those feelings lingering in his chest. He didn't have the strength to fight them right now. He didn't have the strength to fight Matt.
Matt bit his lip, trying to find the right words, especially, because he felt so defeated and exhausted after all that had happened and he just wanted his best friend back and all they had together as best friends. But he never wanted to take his footsteps again, realising how heavy they were. There was only one person who managed to carry this weight and-
Swallowing Matt added ''I understand now what you meant in seeing more and understanding less. I understand now why you were scared to go back to fight. You had to lead a war that we didn't start to make sure everyone was okay and that is a heavy weight you carried on your shoulders. We all did, but especially you as the leader of us. I had to learn that the hard way, realising that I am definitely not strong or good enough to be that. So don't ever do that to us again and don't ever leave again just like that.''
The surprise in Taichis face almost made Matt roll his eyes, while breathing heavily. There was so much more to say, but that was the first thing he felt and meant right now. He had missed Tai damn much and had been so scared of loosing him. A feeling he never wanted to feel again. Alone against the rest of the world and for the rest of the world at the same time while mourning one of the most important people in his life who had seemed to be dead.
That is what you are telling yourself Matt, but it is not true. Tai thought, while stepping even closer to Matt, looking at him straight in the eye. He could feel the looks of the others at them, probably worried they would end up wrestling each other on the ground and hurting each other again. Besides the fact that he was too tired too fight, that was also the last thing Tai wanted to do right now with Matt. Yet, he had to say something, because he wouldn't let his best freind believe that after all he just did and been through, just to save them. It hadn't been Tai who led this. It was Matt.
Taichi shook his head, looking seriously at Matt now who looked confused at him.
''That is not true, Yamato.'' Tai said with the steadiest voice he could muster after all of this right now.
As he saw Matt opening his mouth to say something he added ''I might have been the cbosen leader of the group somewhere almost 7 years ago as we needed one, because I did step up, thinking I could save the world as a little 11 year old boy, who didn't even know what courage or friendship or being a leader meant, but-''
Taking a deep breath and putting a hand on the blondes shoulder, Tai looked at him dead serious and added ''You stepped up when everyone needed a leader the most. You made sure that all of them-'' Gesturing towards Kari, Takeru, Mimi, Izzi, Jou, Sora and Meiko, who watched them, now with small smiles on their faces. ''Were safe and would fight for our world, the world of our partners. You took care of them when I couldn't and made sure every single one of them was safe in your own way. You never wanted to be a leader, but you became one the second you realised one was needed, because I dumbass fell down a hole and almost killed myself.''
It was supposed to be a joke to lighten up the mood but as he saw Matts look he immediately regretted it, knowing how hard this was on the blonde boy that he cared for so much. Tai had been through a lot, but he had to realise that Matt and the others had been, too. They had to fight their own fight and Matt also fought for the others, because Tai hadn't been there.
Looking down at his feet Matt felt his cheeks heating up, but- ''You didn't see me as a leader. I was angry and determining, not giving them a chance to-''
''To give up. You didn't give us a chance to give up. You made sure we kept going even as we were griefing, because of Tai and all the things that had happened. You made sure that the sadness couldn't take us over, in your own Matt way.'' Suddenly the voice of Sora came to his ears and Matt looked up, looking at the red haired beauty that once, a long time ago hadn't just been a friend, but also a lover.
The person who knew him, knew the way he worked better than most other people. The past few weeks Matt had thought a lot about what they were or what they could be, but he knew that she was a huge part of his life. One that he would always need and now she stood up for him and the words she said- They sounded honest and sincere, yet it still felt as if Matt had failed all of them. Especially Tai.
He felt a squeeze on his shoulder and barely dared to look back up at Tai who smiled at him with that warm smile that he had missed from his best friend, only realising now that more and more tears were forming in his own eyes.
Tai saw them and he did want to take him into his arms, but he knew if he did, both of them would start crying and then he could not finish what he was saying or thinking and that would not end good for either of them. They had to finish this and talk about this, before feelings took over in any more ways than they already did.
''Besides-'' Tai continued and Matt looked confused at him. ''I might have been the leader, but you have always been my voice of reason. My best friend, the guy that gave me a good punch in the stomach, when I got over my head and did stupid things. You had always walked by my side, getting my head out of the sling and helping me, make the right decisions. Also fighting all of these anemies and you saved the world with me three times, with all of us. You didn't let your own fear get in the way like I had done so many times. You stayed strong and stepped in more than once when I couldn't anymore, being the best friend anyone could ask for and also the best big brother for TK and also my little sister Kari.''
Seeing Matts eyes grow wide, Tai swallowed hard. He meant every single word towards his best friend. Never had he felt as much as what he just said. Matt was his voice of reason, the boy who held his ground when he himself didn't know where it was. He had always been there for him, in his own way and Tai wanted him to know that.
Taking the last bit of courage he had, he added ''You might be cold as ice to others some times as Mimi would say now, but you always had my back. Maybe that was also the reason why i started to have feelings for you.''
His own words, his own honesty startled him, as he looked at Matt, realising what he just told him. Matts eyes were twice the size by now and he could see he was speechless. he wasn't sure if he had ever seen the young rockstar speechless ever in his life. Tai immediately regretted his last sentence, but he also couldn't take it back, even if he wanted to, but he had to-
Suddenly there was a searing pain in his chest area that made him groan in agony and Matt looked at him with wide eyes, as Tai fell to his knees himself, holding his chest that was throbbing.
''Tai!" Matt screamed, kneeling down to him, a hand on his back and looking at him.
The air was slowly getting less in Tais lungs and he felt how his whole body was really on fire now. Fire and pain. As if his body was slowly burning down and he couldn't do anything. A hand to his chest he swallowed, feeling blood slowly finiding its way to his mouth, as his breaths got heavier, harder. What was happening? Why was this happening? Was he really about to end after making up with Matt and confessing his feelings to him?
His arms getting heavy, his hand fell from his chest to his side, the searing pain getting stronger and stronger, taking over his whole body.
''You're bleeding!" Matt cried , while Tai was feeling a completely different hand on his chest now. Looking down at now Matts hand Tai realised what Matt was saying, his own hand and button up shirt being blood red.
He was bleeding. Badly. And he felt his consciousness slowly fading, as Matt pressed a hand against his chest. He also now heard cries of the others, but they sounded blurry, as all he was focused on was the blood in his mouth and on his chest, and the boy pressing a hand against his chest. Why is he still here? Shoudln't he have run after my confession? Did I really just confess my feelings to him in front of the whole group?
''Someone needs to call an ambulance!'' Matt screamed, looking at his best friend who- Barely two minutes ago had confessed his feelings to him.
There had been a lot of things he expected, but not this. Tai was in love with me? Ran through his mind for a split second, before the whole world crashed down as Tai went to his knees, bleeding from his chest. Then all the words didn't matter in that second. All that mattered was that he had to save Tai. He couldn't die on him now. Not after all he said and did for them and after coming back.
A heavy head fell against his chest and he looked down at Tai, whos breathing became unsteady which made Matts eyes grow wide. ''Yamato...'' Tai whispered.
Without thinking about it twice Matt stood up and picked Tai up in his arms, walking through the water quickly. He didn't need to look to know that one of the others had called the ambulance. Their cries about Tai were muffled in his ears, just being focused on his best friend who seemed to now also be spitting blood and still bleeding from his chest. That was not good. That was beyond terrible.
''Taichi, you need to stay awake, do you hear me? You can't die on me. Stay awake, please.'' Matt whispered, fresh tears forming in his eyes, as he watted through the sea to finally reach the land, never leaving his eyes off Tai, who barely looked at him with half opened eyes in pain.
Before he knew what was happening he heard Jou speaking ''Matt, lay him down.''
He wanted to remark something, but then realised that his blue haired friend was a doctor to be and they needed to do anything they could to save Tai until the ambulance came. So he kneeled on the floor, slowly laying Tai on the what he now realised were two blankets that Jou quickly had laid out and Jou was quickly at his side feeling, Tai and pressing against his chest with some kind of towel, maybe paper. Matt didn't know, but he knew that they needed to help Tai. Taichi. Why.
Also feeling another figure besides him and Koromon on the other side of Tai he swallowed. Kari was sitting besides him and he heard the sobbing of his best friends little sister, gripping Tais arm, as if her life depended on it. Tai had called him the better big brother, but right now he couldn't put himself to comfort her. The shock stare he had as he watched Jou do his thing, talking to Tai in a constant soothing voice that was trembling-
''Just a few more minutes. It's okay, throw up, if you have to, it might help. But don't close your eyes. They're almost here, I can already hear them. The blood has to get out of your mouth, not your chest. We're all here, Tai.'' Were just some of the half sentences, half words he caught, as he watched his best friend, barely keeping his eyes open.
''Tai.'' Koromon whispered, his head against Tais head, as Matt too now heard the sirens of the Ambulance, swallowing, his tears streaming down freely now.
''Stay with us, Taichi. Please.'' Matt whispered as he saw the Men, putting Tai on the stretcher.