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Buck loves New Year's Eve.
He looks forward to ending the year surrounded by the people he loves, celebrating the fact that they made it to see another year go by. He adores the countdown to midnight, the building excitement and the eventual payoff of cheers and glasses clinking when the bells go off.
He loves getting a kiss from his partner when the fireworks are lighting the sky - promises of another year together full of joy and happiness.
Unfortunately for Buck, he doesn’t have anyone to kiss at midnight this year, and he’s not looking for anyone either because, well - because things were different now, ever since four weeks ago when his best friend, Eddie Diaz, came out as gay.
It was like all of Buck’s defenses and excuses came crumbling down in front of him. Eddie wasn’t straight? His best friend. The man who has saved his life countless times. The man who constantly showed up and stood by Buck and has had his back for years. The man who, essentially, gave Buck his child and asked for nothing in return.
That man was gay.
Eddie was gay.
Like… into men?
It took Buck all of two minutes of staring at Eddie in shock before he came to the life altering realisation that he was, in fact, in love with his best friend. Ha, who knew??
It was now four weeks later and Buck was devastatingly, hopelessly, head over heels in love with Eddie, and yet he had done absolutely nothing about it.
Because yes, Eddie was gay… but just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he's gay for Buck.
There have been absolutely zero instances since Eddie came out where Buck felt like Eddie was acting differently towards him than before.
Well in general there, of course, have been some changes in Eddie. He seems happier, and lighter and Buck absolutely loves the way his best friend no longer holds tension in his shoulders but apart from that, nothing's changed.
Eddie always, without fail, brings Buck his first cup of coffee for the day. It doesn’t matter if they’re at home or at the station, Eddie will always go out of his way to be the one to bring it to Buck… but he did that before coming out as well.
And yes, Eddie has been taking every excuse to sit next to Buck… but again that wasn’t new. They didn’t have assigned seats in the engine but it was expected to see the two of them pressed side by side on their way to calls. It was natural for them to fall into their usual seats next to each other no matter where they were. The loft at work. At the table. On the sofa at Eddie’s house. In the bed they share-
Anyway, again, all totally normal and things that they already did before Eddie came out.
And sure, Eddie was finally allowing himself the lingering gazes and soft touches that Buck had always noticed him depriving himself off. He would smile at Buck for longer than usual, and keep his hand on Buck's arm, or back, or waist, for a second longer than what he used to… but come on, they’ve always been touchy and comfortable with each other.
And okay, yeah, if Buck let himself feed into his delusions he could very easily convince himself that Eddie had been flirting with him recently. But luckily, Buck is very smart and knows that his now gay best friend would not do that… right?
… Okay fine, maybe Bucks’s been overthinking absolutely everything that has ever happened between them since Eddie came out. Sue him, he’s a man in love and hope is a very, very, dangerous thing.
The thing is though, despite what Buck thinks might be flirting, and what he thinks might be signs that Eddie feels the same way that he does, there was just one problem that kept Buck doubting.
Eddie has someone to kiss at midnight.
Buck has been pouting ever since he found out.
It started when they first received the invitations a few shifts back.
••
“… so do we have to dress up?” Chimney asked, one eyebrow raised as he read over the invitation in his hand.
“Yeah, what exactly does the theme ‘Fireworks at the Ritz’ entail?” Hen asked, an amused smirk on her face as she slid her invitation back onto the table.
Bobby held his hands up in defense from his place at the stove, “I don’t know,” he chuckled, “it was all May and Athena’s idea.”
“I think it’s cool,” Buck shrugged, “It’s something a bit different you know.” He held the invitation like it was something precious. Knowing he would be spending New Year’s Eve with his family made Buck feel slightly better about going into the new year single and hopelessly in love with a man he can’t have.
Chimney hummed, his eyes skimming over the invitation again, “So will there be actual fireworks?” He asked, “Because surely, as firefighters you know how dangerous-“
“As firefighters,” Bobby interrupted him, “we know how to handle fireworks safely… plus Harry is insisting on fireworks.”
Eddie snorted, “Can see his academy training is going well then.”
Bobby just chuckled.
Buck nudged Eddie’s knee with his own, their thighs pressed together under the table. Buck ignored his heart thudding in his chest as Eddie met his eye. Buck glanced once at Chimney before turning back to him with a mischievous look.
“What do you think Eds? Matching suits again?” He asked, a grin growing on his face.
Chimney groaned, “No, no. I cannot deal with you two and your couples costumes again.”
Couples costumes. Buck wishes.
Eddie frowned, “You weren’t even there the first time.”
He didn’t deny it. Buck wanted to kiss him.
“Yeah Chim, you completely missed it.” Buck leant back in his chair, “We absolutely killed it as Crockett and Tubbs.”
Chimney glared at his brother in law, “Sorry, I was a little bit too busy with the whole encephalitis thing,” He replied, “but even that wasn’t as painful as the videos of you two doing karaoke.”
Buck just chuckled, letting his eyes skim over the invitation again, “Hey Eds, do you think we should learn the handshake from the parent trap so we can have something to do when the bells go.”
Buck didn’t notice the way Hen and Chimney went quiet, or the look that passed between them and Eddie. He looked at Eddie with an expectant brow raised.
Eddie’s mouth was parted slightly and he took another glance at Hen before turning to Buck with a small grin, “Well actually… I think I’m gonna be busy at midnight.” He said.
Buck’s chair hit the floor with a dull thud, “What?” He asked with a frown.
Eddie scratched his neck awkwardly, “Yeah,” he said, giving Buck a look he couldn’t decipher, “you know… doing the other thing.”
Buck blinked, “The other thing?”
“Yeah.”
Buck was quiet, his heart dropped to his stomach and he quickly swallowed down the horrible taste that took over his mouth, “O-oh! You’re seeing someone? You d-didn’t say?” He said, before grimacing a smile, “Congrats man, that’s great!”
Eddie opened his mouth to reply, but the alarm going off beat him to it. Buck wordlessly pushed his chair back and stood, ignoring the loud noise it made, and raced to his turnouts. He missed the wide eyed, panicked look that Eddie sent to Hen and Chim as he left.
••
So yeah, Buck was pouting.
“Buck, why are you hiding out here?” Bobby’s familiar voice floated from the doorway, causing Buck to look up. He met Bobby’s worried gaze with a small halfhearted smile, which only caused Bobby’s frown to deepen.
“Oh, I’m just having a breather,” Buck said, “was getting a bit warm in there.”
Buck could tell that Bobby didn’t believe him, but thankfully, didn’t push. Instead, Bobby nodded and walked further into the garage where Buck had been hiding out for the past half hour. Bobby sat down next to him on the workout bench that Harry was storing here, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“It sure is,” he agreed, squeezing gently before letting his hand fall, “so, what do you think of the house?” Bobby asked.
Buck lit up, his slumped shoulders disappearing as he straightened, “It’s incredible Bobby, you and Athena did an amazing job.” He beamed, “I mean the decorations for tonight are incredible but wow, the architecture and structural design is just… wow.” Bobby chuckled quietly and nodded.
“All Athena,” he admitted sheepishly, “apart from the kitchen of course. I had to have my input there.”
“Of course,” Buck agreed with an easy smile, “it’s a chef's kitchen for sure.”
Bobby smiled, “You should come over in the new year, we can make dinner for everyone.” He offered. Buck couldn’t help but grin and nod, his cheeks warm with the feeling of contentment settling in his chest. Bobby never failed to make him feel wanted.
“I will.” He promised, his voice soft.
Bobby nodded, before standing, “Come on, only an hour and a half to the bells. You’re not hiding out here until then are you?” He asked, extending a hand to help Buck stand.
Buck took it with a smile, “No, of course not.”
••
Buck wanted to go back to the garage almost immediately.
The easy smile that Bobby had put on his face slipped as he watched Eddie talk animatedly with Karen and Hen from his place in the living room. The three of them were outside, making the most of the new garden furniture.
Eddie looked radiant, and gorgeous, and - well Buck could really go on and on. The point is, that watching Eddie speak and laugh so freely in the soft glow of the string lights that were strewn across the backyard caused a deep ache in his chest. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to tell him everything. He wanted, and he wanted, and he ached.
Maddie clocked him the second she walked into the open plan living room, catching the way his eyes didn’t move from Eddie on the patio. She gave him a small smile as she walked over and stopped beside him.
“Everything okay?” She asked softly.
Buck sighed, before taking a look around and checking the coast was clear. He looked down at Maddie with a gentle smile and sad eyes, “I’m in love with Eddie.” He admitted quietly.
Maddie gasped quietly before sending him a beaming smile and nodding, and Buck was well aware that she already knew, but he could see the happiness in her eyes at him finally admitting it. She softly squeezed his arm before leaning next to him on the wall, letting her head rest on his shoulder as they both looked out onto the patio.
“Are you going to tell him?” She asked.
Buck shook his head, “No,” he whispered, his voice cracking, “Eddie has someone else.”
Maddie frowned and lifted her head slightly, looking up at her baby brother, “What?” She asked, her brow furrowing in confusion. As far as Maddie could see, there was no one here out of the ordinary, and she hadn’t heard anything about Eddie dating. And trust her, Maddie would know if he was. Chimney can’t keep a secret for the life of him.
“Eddie,” Buck started, “When we got the invitations, he said he was planning on being busy at midnight… you know, as in, kissing someone. And then he never mentioned it again and so when we were talking about it earlier when we were getting ready, I said it’s a shame we don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight. He sort of laughed, and said he had someone in mind.”
Maddie couldn’t help the small chuckle that slipped out, “Buck, come on.” She gently nudged him.
Buck’s frown only deepened, “I’m serious Maddie, and he won’t tell me who it is.” He complained, folding his arms across his chest.
Maddie rolled her eyes, the small amused smile not moving from her face, “Right, and he told you this as you were getting ready together, in the house that you share, before leaving for the family only party?” She mused.
Buck rolled his eyes, “Yes,” he grumbled, “and I’ll need to say goodbye to the house we share when he and his secret midnight kiss end up falling in love and moving in together and get married and-“
“Buck!” Maddie laughed, interrupting him, “you’re getting way ahead of yourself, let’s just- let’s just go back outside. There’s still an hour until midnight, maybe Eddie’s mysterious kiss won’t turn up.” She said, a small smirk on her face.
Buck glared down at her but nodded, letting out a small huff as she pulled him outside. Almost instantly, Buck found himself relaxing slightly. The laughter of the kids playing on the grass and the soft music flowing from May’s speaker unable to keep even the grumpiest of men upset.
“Yo, Buck! I think it’s time for you to be the piggy!” Ravi shouted, desperation in his voice. Buck snorted at the sight of Ravi on the grass, both Jee and Mara clinging onto his back.
“You’re doing a great job man!” He replied, giving an encouraging thumbs up as he skirted around the patio towards Eddie, “Keep it up!”
Eddie laughed at the exchange as Buck slid into the open seat next to him, his eyes light with joy as he looked at Buck. Buck grinned back, ignoring the way his breath caught in his chest. Man, these string lights really do show off how sparkly Eddie’s eyes are-
“What do you think, Buck?”
“Hmm?” Bucks attention snapped away from Eddie. Buck ignored the way that Eddie laughed softly under his breath, and instead focused on Karen. Karen and Hen shared a look, both wearing the same amused smirk.
“I said,” Karen began, “what do you think about Eddie’s stache making an appearance again.”
Oh yeah. The mustache was back.
Buck loved the mustache.
Buck coughed, “W-what? Y-yeah. I like it man,” he spluttered, “Big fan.” Buck immediately cringed.
Hen snorted and Karen giggled as Bucks cheeks turned crimson. Luckily, Eddie’s cheeks were also a blooming pink as he looked at Buck with a soft smile, his canines peaking out causing Buck's heart to jump. He’s so pretty.
“You are?” He asked, almost shy as he picked at the label on his beer bottle.
Buck ducked his head, and scratched his neck sheepishly, “Yeah, of course I am. It looks good.”
Eddie’s smile widened and he ducked his head, choosing to take a sip from his drink instead of replying. Buck struggled to look away as Eddie tipped his head back slightly, his tanned neck on display. Buck swallowed harshly, finding the strength to finally turn away only to find Hen and Karen watching him with matching grins.
He narrowed his eyes.
“So Buck,” Hen took the warning look as an invitation, “Who are you kissing at midnight?”
Eddie choked on his drink, a few coughs spluttering out. Buck thumped his fist on Eddie’s back without thinking, leaving his hand there to rub soothing circles into his friend's back as Eddie caught his breath.
Eddie glared at Hen.
Buck looked between the two with suspicion before turning to Hen, letting his hand fall back to his lap, “No one I guess,” he shrugged, and then because he hates himself, “since I can’t kiss the person I want to.”
It was the wrong thing to say.
Hen and Karen both straightened, their eyes widening in sync as they both leaned forward with interest. Eddie had gone still beside him, his body completely tense as he looked at Buck with wide eyes.
“Oh, do tell?” Karen pounced first.
Buck stammered and panicked, “Woah I mean-“
“Yeah Buck,” Hen grinned, “Who do you want to kiss at midnight?”
Karen’s eyes glinted dangerously, “Tommy?”
Buck couldn’t help the snort that broke out, “God no.” Buck wanted to bang his head against the wall as he saw the pure joy and delight on Karen’s face.
She cackled, “Then who Buck? Tell us.” She asked, giggles slipping through.
“W-what but I- no. No one! I didn’t-“ Buck was freaking out, “Eddie’s got someone to kiss at midnight!” He finally got out. His voice came out accusatory and he pointed his finger at his best friend, hoping the attention would move to Eddie.
It didn't work, in fact it only spurred them on.
“Oh we know all about who Eddie’s kissing at midnight.” Hen teased.
Buck stilled, his mouth dropped open, “You do?” He gaped, before turning to Eddie with betrayal on his face, “They do? You refused to tell me!”
Eddie was staring at Buck frozen, his mouth wide as he tried to get his breath back. Buck realized that Eddie hadn’t really relaxed again after his comment earlier. He was still tense and staring at Buck with a look Buck couldn’t decipher.
“I-it’s different.” Eddie said.
Buck shook his head, “What?”
Eddie looked at Hen and Karen, who both smiled and nodded. Karen even giving Eddie an encouraging thumbs up. Buck looked between the three of them with confusion, before pouting, “Fine,” he grumbled, “it’s different.”
“Let’s get back to you, Buck,” Hen jumped in, saving Eddie from whatever he was about to say, “Who do you want to kiss at midnight?”
Involuntarily, his eyes flickered to Eddie before landing on Hen again. He prayed that no one had caught it, but he could tell from the satisfied smile on Hen's face that it wasn’t as subtle as he hoped.
“I uh-“ Buck licked his lip, “it doesn’t matter.”
Eddie’s face was still pink and he wore a small satisfied smile of his own as he watched Buck stand. Buck ignored it, not letting the hope bloom, he brushed off his trousers before motioning towards the drinks table, saying something about a refill before walking away.
Buck could feel the embarrassment creep up his neck as he tried to fight it, shaking his head to try to remove the moment from his mind. He had just grabbed another bottle of beer when a gentle hand landed on the small of his back. He jumped slightly, and turned to see Eddie standing beside him with a small smile.
“Ignore them,” he said, quickly removing his hand and reaching for a beer for himself, “they’re just teasing.”
Buck frowned, “Yeah I know,” he muttered, before pausing for a second, “Are you really not going to tell me who you’re kissing at midnight?”
Eddie met Buck's eyes with a raised eyebrow. His eyes were dark and intense as he looked at Buck. Buck shuffled awkwardly under his gaze as he saw Eddie’s eyes dart across his face. Bucks breath caught as they landed on his lips for a second before moving back to his eyes.
Eddie shrugged, “It’s better as a surprise.” He said. He smirked at Buck before patting his chest once and walking away.
Buck would really, really, rather it not be a surprise. If he needs to see Eddie kiss anyone, a man, that’s not him there’s a genuine risk he will break something and he really doesn’t want to break anything. Athena and Bobby worked so hard on their new house.
Buck checked his watch and sighed, thirty minutes til midnight. Maybe Maddie’s right. Maybe they won’t turn up. A man can only dream… or he could lock the front door and disable their doorbell.
••
Buck didn’t disable the doorbell (he tried but it looked really complicated and there wasn’t any good YouTube videos coming up) but he did lock the front door. He felt slightly guilty about it now as he watched Eddie’s nerves grow the closer to midnight it got.
He stood next to the wall, beside the door where he could escape easily as it got towards midnight. The excuse of needing the bathroom and being unable to wait already on the tip of his tongue.
Bobby and Athena had really gone all out with the decorations. Buck still wasn’t entirely sure what the theme Fireworks at the Ritz meant, but it looked amazing. Their whole downstairs was decorated with white and gold streamers and baubles and hanging lights.
Athena looked gorgeous in a deep purple gown which would have fit in well at the Ritz for sure, and Bobby of course in his tuxedo and matching tie. Buck watched them as they danced, Bobby twirling Athena around their dream living room, in the house they built together.
“Why do you look like a kicked puppy dude?”
Buck looked up from the floor to see Ravi stopping in front of him. The younger man was looking at him with a concerned frown. Buck tilted his head and looked at Ravi with a blank look.
“Who are you kissing at midnight Rav?” He asked.
Ravi blinked.
“No.” Ravi shook his head and took a step back, “Not doing this with you man. Just kiss Eddie and leave me out of it.”
Buck stammered, “Woah what, that wasn’t-“
“Not happening man. Sorry I asked.” Ravi held his hands up in defense as he slowly backed away, leaving Buck watching him, his mouth parted in shock. Buck wanted to say something, but his mind was blank. Still replaying the words just kiss Eddie.
That wasn’t what he- yeah okay. He should maybe get Ravi a gift basket or something.
Buck tensed as Athena started gathering everyone together for the countdown. His heart was beating and his fight or flight response was kicking in. He watched as Bobby automatically gravitated towards Athena, his arm naturally going around her waist.
Hen and Karen cuddled together by the fireplace, bright smiles on their faces as they watched the clock tick closer to midnight.
Maddie and Chimney were laughing together, Chimney spinning Maddie under his arm as Jee clapped from the floor.
Buck felt his heart sink. He wanted that. He wanted his person. The person that he automatically went to when the time came for a New Years kiss. He wanted, and he wanted, and he wanted. He wanted Eddie.
And Eddie-
Eddie was making his way over to him.
Buck smiled sadly, “Your mystery kiss not turn up?” He asked, trying to keep the relief out of his voice.
Eddie chuckled, but it was off. His eyes were darting around the room nervously and he was fiddling with his hands. Buck frowned.
“Everything okay? I know it sucks man, but you’re not the only one.” Buck tried to reassure him, but Eddie just shook his head, a small smile on his face as he looked up at Buck.
Buck smiled back at him, ignoring the ache in his chest. The need to reach out and pull Eddie closer.
“Okay okay! Is everyone ready?” Athena called, as the clock ticked closer and closer.
Buck shuffled and coughed awkwardly, going to take his leave before a strong grip on his forearm stopped him, “Woah, where are you going?” Eddie asked, alarmed. His eyes were wide as his grip tightened.
Buck's eyebrows furrowed, “Uh- bathroom.” He mumbled, going to move before Eddie yanked him back.
“Can’t it wait?” Eddie asked desperately.
“Ten!”
“Not really.” Buck replied, trying to gently remove Eddie’s hand.
“Nine!”
“Come on Buck really? You can’t be that oblivious?” Eddie almost cried out, his grip still strong on Bucks wrist.
“Eight!”
“Oblivious? Eddie, what are you talking about?” Buck huffed.
“Seven!”
“Buck.” Eddie said, his voice cracking as he took a step closer, pressing his chest against Bucks.
“Six!”
Bucks breath hitched.
“Five!”
“Eddie?” He whispered, his eyes desperately searching Eddie’s face.
“Four!”
“Don’t go Buck,” Eddie replied softly, leaning impossibly closer, “I kind of need you here if we’re gonna do this.”
“Three!”
“We’re gonna do what-“ Buck’s voice trailed off as Eddie’s nose nudged his.
“Two!”
“Oh.” Bucks eyes fluttered closed.
“One!”
And then Eddie’s lips were on Buck’s and Buck was floating. Fireworks exploded around them and Buck wasn’t entirely sure if it was the actual fireworks or if his body was just alive with electricity as his lips moved seamlessly against Eddie’s. His mind was fuzzy and warm and his hands found themselves on Eddie’s waist, gripping tightly.
When they finally pulled apart, both breathless and chuckling slightly, Eddie spoke first, “We’re missing the fireworks.” Eddie whispered. Their foreheads rested against each other. Buck nudged Eddie’s nose with his own.
“No we’re not.” Buck muttered, before connecting their lips again, the same electric feeling running through him. Buck smiled into the kiss and suddenly they were both laughing and stealing the odd kiss as they held each other close.
“Guess he finally figured out he was the mystery kiss huh?” Chim mumbled from somewhere in the room.
Buck just lifted his middle finger in Chim's general direction before going in for another kiss with the love of his life.