Work Text:
Shane's at his parents' house, eating plain oatmeal and reading a book about defensive strategies from the 1980s, when his mom corners him in the kitchen.
"You need a Letterboxd account."
He looks up from his book. "A what?"
"It's an app. For logging movies you watch." His mom crosses her arms. "You've been moping around the house for three weeks since the injury. You need a hobby that isn't hockey."
"I have hobbies."
"Reading about hockey is not a hobby, Shane."
"I also—"
"Going to the gym is not a hobby either." She gives him that look. The one that means this isn't a suggestion. "Make the account. Watch some movies. Do something that isn't staring at the ceiling thinking about the playoffs you're not in."
Shane wants to argue, but she's right. He's been impossible to live with since the concussion. Since Montreal got knocked out. Since—
He doesn't finish that thought.
"Fine," he sighs. "I'll make the account."
Ten minutes later, Shane has downloaded the app, created a username (S_Hollander24, because apparently ShaneHollander was taken), and is staring at the interface like it personally offended him.
His dad walks by, coffee in hand. "Your mother get to you?"
"Apparently I need to tell strangers what movies I watch."
"Could be worse," his dad says. "Could be ."
Shane grimaces. He's seen . He's seen what they say about the injury, about Montreal, about—
He really needs to stop thinking about it.
S_Hollander24 logged When Harry Met Sally... ★★★★★ • watched 2 days ago
Classic for a reason. Makes me believe in... well. You know.
shanefan@ @shanesbian • 2h
SHANE HOLLANDER HAS LETTERBOXD AND HIS FIRST REVIEW IS WHEN HARRY MET SALLY WITH 5 STARS IM GONNA THROW UP
🖇️ @godzllas • 2h
he said "makes me believe in... well. you know" HELLO???? SHANE HOLLANDER ROMANTIC CONFIRMED????
annie @anniehollan • 2h
screaming crying throwing up he's just a guy who likes romcoms
metros fan @mtlvoyageurs • 1h
this man gives 5 stars to when harry met sally but couldn't stay healthy for playoffs. priorities
↳ shanesbian @shanefan@ • 1h
he got a CONCUSSION from getting SLAMMED INTO THE BOARDS you absolute walnut
↳ shanefan@ @shanesbian • 1h
some of y'all need to be banned from the internet
S_Hollander24 logged WALL-E
★★★★★ • watched yesterdayPerfect movie. No notes.
S_Hollander24 logged The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
★★★★★ • rewatched 3 days agoExtended edition only. Anything else is wrong.
S_Hollander24 logged The Searchers
★★★★½ • rewatched 5 days agoDad and I used to watch this every summer at the cottage.
film bro @letterboxdking • 4h
shane hollander has better taste than half of film . i'm in crisis
ottawa girl @sens4ever • 3h
"Extended edition only. Anything else is wrong." KING SHIT
🖇️ @godzllas • 3h
the fact that he rates movies with his whole heart... the earnestness... i'm emo
Then: ILikeFilms83 logs Heat. Four and a half stars. One day after Shane logs it with four stars.
(Nobody notices. Not yet.)
S_Hollander24 logged Goodfellas
★★★★½ • watched 2 days agoThe tracking shot alone makes this essential viewing.
ILikeFilms83 logged Goodfellas
★★★★★ • watched yesterdayBetter than you remember. Every time.
film nerd @criterion_guy • 6h
why is there some random account watching every movie shane hollander watches like a day later
↳ ottawa girl @sens4ever • 6h
LMAO i thought i was going insane
↳ film nerd @criterion_guy • 5h
just checked and this account has watched EVERY movie hollander has logged. like actually every single one. day later. what the fuck
S_Hollander24 logged Drive
★★★★ • watched 3 days agoStylish. The soundtrack does heavy lifting but it works.
ILikeFilms83 logged Drive
★★★★½ • watched 2 days agoWrong about the soundtrack. It's perfect.
film bro @letterboxdking • 8h
this ILikeFilms83 account is ARGUING with shane hollander's takes. they rated drive higher and said he's wrong about the soundtrack 💀
↳ 🖇️ @godzllas • 8h
imagine being so obsessed with an NHL player you hate-watch all their movies
↳ annie @anniehollan • 7h
this is giving serial killer vibes actually
↳ metros fan @mtlvoyageurs • 7h
maybe it's just a film bro who hates jocks?
↳ film bro @letterboxdking • 7h
as a film bro who hates jocks, even we're not this dedicated
Messages: Shane & Hayden
Hayden: Dude.
Hayden: DUDE
Hayden: Are you seeing this
Shane: ?
Hayden: Some psycho is stalking your letterboxd
Hayden: they're watching everything you watch
Hayden: Like a DAY later
Hayden: This is serial killer behavior
Hayden: Do you want me to report them
Shane: It's fine
Hayden: FINE???
Hayden: SHANE
Shane: I don't think it's a serial killer
Hayden: Then WHO
Shane: ...I have a guess
Hayden: Oh my god
Hayden: OH MY GOD
Hayden: is this
Shane: Don't
Hayden: You said you weren't talking to him
Shane: We're not talking
Hayden: THEN WHAT IS THIS
Shane: I don't know
Shane: He's just... watching what I watch I guess
Hayden: This is the saddest thing i've ever heard
Shane: Thanks
Hayden: No I mean
Hayden: Fuck
Hayden: Are you ok?
Shane: Yeah
Shane: It's actually kind of nice
Hayden: You two are so fucked up
Shane: I know
ilyarozanovofficial ✓ posted 3h ago
[Photo: Cozy living room, Anya on the couch, TV showing Netflix menu. On the coffee table, partially visible: an iPad with Letterboxd open, username ILikeFilms83 clearly visible]
night in with best girl
Comments:
svetlanaxoxo: cozy!! 💕
clifmarlow: roz is that a ROMCOM in your recently watched
↳ ilyarozanovofficial: research
hollanoverforever: WAIT IS THAT—
godzllas69: OH MY FUCKING GOD
filmstanning: NO FUCKING WAY
ANNIE @anniehollan • 1h
ILYA ROZANOV IS THE LETTERBOXD STALKER ACCOUNT
[35.2K likes]
ANNIE @anniehollan • 1h
HE POSTED AN INSTA AND HIS LETTERBOXD WAS IN THE CORNER I'M SCREAMING
[28.4K likes]
🖇️ @godzllas • 1h
WAIT SO ILYA ROZANOV HAS BEEN WATCHING EVERY MOVIE SHANE WATCHES
[15.7K likes]
film theory @moviestakes • 1h
ok so either: 1) this is psychological warfare, or 2) world's saddest pining
[22.8K likes]
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 59m
oh it's definitely option two
[31.2K likes]
sports bro @nhltakes • 58m
guys rozanov is clearly just trolling hollander this is peak comedy
↳ film nerd @criterion_guy • 57m
counterpoint: why would he spend his free time watching when harry met sally just to troll shane hollander. explain that
↳ sports bro @nhltakes • 56m
...ok i have no explanation for that
film bro @letterboxdking • 55m
this reads like fanfiction except it's REAL
↳ ANNIE @anniehollan • 54m
the hollanov girlies have been vindicated
Messages: Shane & Lily
Lily: You saw
Shane: Everyone saw
Lily: Anya knocked iPad over
Lily: Was accident
Shane: Sure it was
Lily: Are you upset
Shane: No
Shane: People think you're trolling me though
Lily: Let them think what they want
Shane: Are you trolling me?
Lily: ...
Lily: Maybe little bit
Lily: But also
Lily: I like watching what you watch
Lily: Makes me feel less far away
Shane: Ilya
Lily: Is pathetic, I know
Shane: No it's not
Shane: I was hoping it was you
Lily: Yeah?
Shane: Yeah
Shane: Made me feel less alone
Lily: You are not alone
Lily: Even when we are not talking
Lily: You are not alone
Shane: Are we really not talking?
Lily: I think maybe we are talking
Lily: Just not with words
Shane: That's the dumbest thing you've ever said
Lily: You love when I am dumb
Shane: ...yeah
Shane: I do
nhl chaos @puckchaos • 4h
rozanov has now watched WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, THE NOTEBOOK, and CRAZY STUPID LOVE since being exposed... bro is COMMITTED
↳ ANNIE @anniehollan • 4h
this isn't commitment this is YEARNING
↳ sports bro @nhltakes • 4h
you guys are reading too much into this
↳ hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 4h
BESTIE WE HAVE BEEN READING INTO THIS FOR YEARS AND WE KEEP BEING RIGHT
S_Hollander24 logged Moonlight
★★★★★ • rewatched yesterday[no review written]
ILikeFilms83 logged Moonlight
★★★★★ • watched 23 hours agoBeautiful. Makes you believe in... well. You know. 💙
film nerd @criterion_guy • 2h
ILYA ROZANOV JUST QUOTED SHANE'S WHEN HARRY MET SALLY REVIEW IN HIS MOONLIGHT REVIEW
ANNIE @anniehollan • 2h
WITH A BLUE HEART EMOJI
WITH A BLUE HEART EMOJI
OH MY GOD
🖇️ @godzllas • 2h
this is the most romantic thing i've ever witnessed and they're not even together
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 2h
NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET*
film bro @letterboxdking • 2h
i need someone to check on shane hollander bc if i got a review like this i would simply perish
Messages: Shane & Hayden
Hayden: Did you see what he wrote
Shane: Yeah
Hayden: Dude
Shane: I know
Hayden: what are you gonna do
Shane: I don't know
Shane: Mom keeps telling me to invite him to the cottage
Hayden: Yuna knows???
Shane: Have no idea what she knows
Hayden: Scary
Hayden: are you gonna invite him?
Shane: Maybe
Shane: Is that stupid?
Hayden: Honestly?
Hayden: I think it would be stupid not to
Shane: Yeah?
Hayden: Yeah man
Hayden: You've been miserable
Hayden: and he's clearly just as miserable
Hayden: Watching the same movies a day apart like some kind of sad rom-com
Hayden: just... talk to him
Hayden: actually talk to him
Shane: I'm scared
Hayden: I know
Hayden: but you're also in love with him
Hayden: and I'm pretty sure he's in love with you
Hayden: so
Shane: When did you become wise
Hayden: Four kids does that to you
Hayden: also Jackie
Hayden: Jackie made me wise
Shane: Tell her I said thanks
Hayden: Tell her yourself
Hayden: and invite Rozanov to your cottage
nhl chaos @puckchaos • 6h
fun fact: shane hollander has a cottage in the ottawa area
fun fact 2: ilya rozanov in rumors to play for ottawa
fun fact 3: i am Going Through It
↳ ANNIE @anniehollan • 6h
ma'am this is unhinged speculation and also you're absolutely right
↳ 🖇️ @godzllas • 6h
i would like to subscribe to your newsletter
Messages: Jane & Ilya
Jane: Do you want to come to the cottage this weekend
Ilya: ...
Jane: You said maybe before
Jane: I'm asking for real now
Ilya: Yes
Jane: Yeah?
Ilya: Yes
Ilya: I want to
Ilya: I have wanted to
Ilya: I was waiting for you to be ready
Jane: I'm ready
Jane: I think
Ilya: We will just watch movies
Ilya: That is all
Ilya: No pressure
Jane: Ok
Jane: Just movies
Ilya: Just movies
Ilya: And maybe we talk
Ilya: If you want
Jane: I want
Ilya: Good
Ilya: What are we watching?
Jane: It's a surprise
Ilya: I will watch anything with you
Jane: See you Friday
Ilya: See you Friday
S_Hollander24 logged Before Sunrise
★★★★★ • watched just nowPerfect for a quiet night in. The kind of movie that makes you want to stay up talking until dawn.
ILikeFilms83 logged Before Sunrise
★★★★★ • watched just nowPerfect for a quiet night in. Makes you believe in second chances.
film nerd @criterion_guy • 1h
THEY'RE WATCHING MOVIES TOGETHER
film nerd @criterion_guy • 1h
AT THE SAME TIME
film nerd @criterion_guy • 1h
BEFORE SUNRISE
film nerd @criterion_guy • 1h
I'M HAVING A BREAKDOWN
ANNIE @anniehollan • 1h
before sunrise is THE romance movie. the "let's make tonight count" movie.
they're watching it TOGETHER.
i'm gonna be sick
🖇️ @godzllas • 1h
"makes you believe in second chances"
oh they're TALKING talking
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 1h
i have been in the trenches for YEARS
YEARS
and i was RIGHT
sports bro @nhltakes • 1h
ok i fully admit i was wrong
this is either the most elaborate troll in history
or they're working through some shit via letterboxd
r/letterboxd
u/filmfan2847 • posted 4h ago
am i going insane or are two NHL players having the saddest movie night ever via letterboxd
ok so. follow me here.
NHL player shane hollander (yes THE shane hollander, multiple cups, one of the best centers in the league) made a letterboxd account a few weeks ago. started rating wholesome shit like when harry met sally 5 stars.
then this account ILikeFilms83 starts watching literally every movie he logs. a day later. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
people thought it was trolling. turns out ILikeFilms83 is ilya rozanov. another NHL player. these guys have been RIVALS for like a decade. they've played against each other in the stanley cup finals TWICE.
but here's the thing. hollanov (their ship name, yes they have a ship name) has been a thing in hockey fandom for YEARS. like there are COMPILATIONS of them staring at each other. there was a whole documentary about their rivalry. they're obsessed with each other.
and then hollander got injured. montreal got knocked out of playoffs. rozanov's season ended too.
and now they're watching the same movies. at the same time. BEFORE SUNRISE. the most romantic movie ever made about two people connecting over one night.
what the FUCK is happening.
[2.4K upvotes] [847 comments]
Top Comments:
u/criterionbro: this is either beautiful or devastating and i can't tell which
u/filmgirl847: BEFORE SUNRISE????? oh they're trying to figure their shit out via letterboxd i'm gonna cry
u/hockeylurker: as someone from r/nhl: the hollanov girls have been saying this for years. these two have been in love with each other since they were 18. this is just. god. this is just sad. i hope they figure it out.
u/filmfan2847: WHAT
u/hockeylurker: oh honey. oh you sweet summer child. let me introduce you to a decade of pining, rivalry, and homoerotic tension.
S_Hollander24 logged Before Sunset
★★★★★ • watched 18 hours agoEven better than the first. When you get a second chance, you take it.
ILikeFilms83 logged Before Sunset
★★★★★ • watched 18 hours agoWas worth the wait.
ANNIE @anniehollan • 2h
THEY'RE WATCHING THE WHOLE TRILOGY
ANNIE @anniehollan • 2h
"was worth the wait"
ANNIE @anniehollan • 2h
I'M UNWELL
film nerd @criterion_guy • 2h
the before trilogy is about FALLING IN LOVE OVER THREE MOVIES
what are they DOING to me
🖇️ @godzllas • 2h
this is the most romantic thing i've ever witnessed and also the saddest
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 2h
they're at the cottage
they're talking
they're watching romance movies
we won but at what cost
S_Hollander24 logged Before Midnight
★★★★★ • watched 6 hours agoThe perfect ending. Love isn't always easy, but it's worth fighting for.
ILikeFilms83 logged Before Midnight
★★★★★ • watched 6 hours agoWe'll figure it out. We always do.
ANNIE @anniehollan • 4h
"we'll figure it out. we always do."
ANNIE @anniehollan • 4h
this is ABOUT THEM
ANNIE @anniehollan • 4h
I'M CRYING IN A DENNYS
film nerd @criterion_guy • 4h
the way they're just... working through their feelings via letterboxd reviews...
i'm so invested
🖇️ @godzllas • 4h
whatever's happening at that cottage i hope they're being kind to each other
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 4h
ten years
they've been dancing around each other for ten years
and they're finally in the same place
watching love stories
i'm gonna throw up
S_Hollander24 added The Princess Bride to watchlist
ILikeFilms83 added The Princess Bride to watchlist
(2 hours later)
ANNIE @anniehollan • 3h
they're continuing the movie night
ANNIE @anniehollan • 3h
princess bride is about true love
ANNIE @anniehollan • 3h
i can't do this anymore
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 3h
the princess bride is about finding your person and fighting for them
the princess bride is about "as you wish"
oh my god
🖇️ @godzllas • 3h
whatever happens after this weekend
i hope they're happy
Messages: Shane & Ilya
Ilya: I should go
Ilya: Is late
Shane: Or you could stay
Ilya: Shane
Shane: We have a guest room
Shane: Or
Shane: You could
Ilya: I could?
Shane: Stay with me
Ilya: Are you sure
Shane: No
Shane: But I want you to anyway
Ilya: Ok
Ilya: I will stay
Shane: Ok
Ilya: Come back to couch
Ilya: Movie is starting
S_Hollander24 logged The Princess Bride
★★★★★ • just now
As you wish.
ILikeFilms83 logged The Princess Bride
★★★★★ • just now
As you wish. ❤️
ANNIE @anniehollan • 1h
that's it. that's everything.
[image: screenshot of both reviews]
film nerd @criterion_guy • 1h
i'm actually crying this is so pure
🖇️ @godzllas • 1h
THE PRINCESS BRIDE QUOTE
BOTH OF THEM
I'M DONE
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 1h
whatever's happening at that cottage
i think they're gonna be ok
sports bro @nhltakes • 1h
this is either the most elaborate inside joke in sports history
or the most romantic thing i've ever seen
genuinely can't tell
ANNIE @anniehollan • 1h
letterboxd: saving relationships one movie at a time
who would've thought
The credits roll on The Princess Bride as the cottage settles into that specific 2 AM quiet. Shane's been running his fingers through Ilya's curls for the last twenty minutes, watching his husband's face go soft with sleep.
Except Ilya isn't his husband. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
But he's here. He's real. He's solid and warm in Shane's lap, one hand still loosely holding Shane's phone where he'd been logging the movie. His other hand is tucked against Shane's stomach, and every few breaths he makes this small sound that Shane has memorized from hotel rooms and stolen mornings.
Shane thinks about the last few weeks. About being alone in his parents' house, trying to figure out who he was without hockey. About making a Letterboxd account because his mom was worried. About Ilya watching every movie a day later, like he was trying to close the distance between them one film at a time.
He thinks about Ilya quoting his When Harry Met Sally review. About the blue heart emoji. About "makes you believe in second chances."
"I love you," Shane whispers, so quiet Ilya can't possibly hear. He says it because he needs to practice. Because someday soon he'll need to say it for real, out loud, when Ilya's awake and looking at him with those blue eyes that see through every defense Shane's ever built.
He leans down and presses a soft kiss to Ilya's temple.
Ilya stirs, makes a small sound. His grip on Shane's phone tightens. His eyes don't open but his lips curve into the smallest smile.
"Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu," he mumbles, still mostly asleep.
Shane's breath catches. He knows that one. He's looked it up a dozen times, just to be sure.
I love you too.
"You're awake," Shane breathes.
"Little bit," Ilya admits, eyes still closed. "Did not want to move."
"Don't," Shane says quickly. "Don't move."
"Ok." Ilya's smile grows. "What are we watching tomorrow?"
"Haven't decided."
"We should watch Notting Hill."
"That's a terrible movie."
"Is romantic." Ilya finally opens his eyes, tilting his head back to look up at Shane. "You will like it."
"I won't."
"You will," Ilya insists. "Trust me."
Shane looks down at him—at this man who watched every movie Shane logged, who drove to the cottage because Shane finally asked, who just said I love you too when he thought Shane couldn't hear.
"Ok," Shane says softly. "I trust you."
Ilya's smile is the sun.
S_Hollander24 added Notting Hill to watchlist
ILikeFilms83 added Notting Hill to watchlist
(1 second ago)
ANNIE @anniehollan • 23m
they added the same movie to their watchlist at the SAME TIME
ANNIE @anniehollan • 22m
not a day apart
THE SAME TIME
ANNIE @anniehollan • 21m
oh my god they're still at the cottage
hollanov truther @hollanovszn • 20m
WE FUCKING WON