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Kon wished the intrusive thoughts would stop.
One moment, he was minding his own business using his TTK to pull out an entire head's worth of stinky slimy hair out of a shower drain without gagging, then the next his concentration was interrupted by the vivid memory of one of Bart's scouts being choked to death by Doomsboy.
Kon was never more grateful for a toilet being just two feet away as he hurled what little contents were in his stomach.
Tears blinding him and the back of his neck clammy, Kon shuddered as he finished pulling the grotesque ball of slime from the drain and flung it into the trash. "There, Mrs. Broomsetter, your shower shouldn't be clogged anymore. Now you can take a shower and not a bath!" he said feebly and flushed the toilet.
Kon heard the older woman giggle. "My goodness, you can punch a hulking monster straight to the moon, but a little bit o' hair does you in?"
"Yeah get your laugh in, I'm squeamish. Surprise!" Kon half-lied under a dark false smile.
"I'll keep it our little secret," Mrs. Broomsetter whispered then she reached into her pink bathrobe and pulled out a folded $10 bill. "Here ya go!"
Kon waved his hand, denying the money. "Nope, no need ma'am."
"Nonsense!" she tsked. "It feels weird handing Superboy money, but if you're down here with us in this flophouse, things can't be goin' well. Ah! Don't deny it, I heard your stomach growl coming in my front door!" Before Kon could deny it she had slipped the money into his coat pocket. "There. Get some lunch. You need it!"
"It feels weird for you and it feels even weirder for me," Kon pushed out awkwardly, the bill burning in his pocket. "Thanks."
Mrs. Broomsetter smiled sweetly, the wrinkles on her face crinkling in kindness and it warmed Kon's heart because he was reminded of Martha Kent. "Think nothing of it! Now, get out of here. I can't miss Bob Barker!" she said then gently pushed on his shoulder towards the door.
On his way out, Kon considered quickly slipping the $10 back into her robe's pocket, she wouldn't even notice because he could do it so quickly, but he kept it instead. When the creaky door closed behind him, silence enveloped Kon as he stood in the musty hallway of cracked walls and stained floorboards, the smell of old grease and urine his only company with his sullen thoughts about the money burning in his pocket.
He never was supposed to take money as Superboy!
What would Superman and John Henry say?
What would Cassie say?
Even when he was a celebrity the money was always supposed to go straight to charity! Never into his pocket! The $10 felt tainted to Kon, and once again he felt the urge to slip it back into the old woman's pink robe pocket but then… His stomach growled. $10 could at least get him lunch that wasn't another cup of overly salty instant noodles.
"Well you didn't take it as Superboy, you took it as… Apartment Maintenance-Boy!" Kon attempted to joke but his chuckle petered into a sardonic sigh.
The truth was, he wasn't entirely certain who he was anymore.
Superboy, Kon El, Karl Grommet, Cadmus Agent, Lee Lee's live-in maintenance worker, all of them blended together into a blurry nebula and Kon's telescope was dirty. He couldn't see it clearly and the focus was broken.
His stomach growled insistently again.
It didn't really matter who he was, Kon chastised himself. He was just him and right now he had a job to do, and that was living like a regular guy doing regular guy things from 9 to 5.
Just like he always wanted.
Just like Clark Kent!
Even Superman had a regular job and had bills to pay.
The revelation made Kon feel a little better as he turned and walked down the stained hallway in pursuit of lunch. Sometimes, even Clark Kent had to unplug a clogged toilet or fish out a grotesque gob of slimy hair from a drain, Kon reminded himself. He was just getting paid to do it.
Regular guy stuff.
That's all this was.
Regular normal guy stuff.
The second Kon was supposed to take his lunch break, a tenant from the second floor flagged him down in a panic that the apartment above his was leaking water.
As soon as Kon did the labor intensive act of turning off the bathtub that the upstairs tenant had left running when she took a nap, another tenant screamed at him that his oven was no longer working, because it was unplugged, somehow.
And so it was yet another day for Maintenance-Boy, the never-ending battle of domestic structural failures built up from years of poverty and Lee Lee's poor maintenance.
Fix the oven (plug it back in).
Shop vac the water from apartment 39.
Fix the elevator.
Unclog 7 additional pipes - why did pipe hair always look the same dark brown even if the tenant was a blonde?
Evict a family of rats from the attic, but instead of destroying them as Lee Lee suggested, Kon found a more suitable home for them in one of Lex Luthor's penthouses.
Re-caulk a piece of trim, even though Kon wasn't sure if he did the best job of it. Lee Lee insisted it was just fine, but Kon couldn't help but think it looked more like a five year old's attempt at constructing a gingerbread house with frosting.
"It's good enough for the people that live here," Lee Lee said. "One coat of paint and you won't even be able to tell the difference, and they won't either!"
Something about that didn't feel right to Kon, putting something over to hide the mistakes still didn't undo the mistake, but it was just caulk and he let it go. Lee Lee was paying him and giving him a place to live on top of it, so he felt like he couldn't complain too much. After all, Lee Lee had been honest with him unlike Rex Leech, and Kon knew he could always leave if he wanted to.
If he wanted to. The contract with Rex didn't give him that opportunity, and Cadmus didn't either until it just vanished out from under him.
In the end, Kon wasn't able to have his lunch until it was nearing dinner time, and he was thankful for the $10 and a cheap fast food restaurant just around the corner.
Once he was back in his apartment with his greasy bag of fries and a huge bacon double cheeseburger, he plopped himself down on his old mattress laid on the floor. The apartment wasn't anything like his first apartment in Metropolis, or the hotels he drifted in and out of before he bought the compound in Hawai'i, or even the room he had in Cadmus, but it wasn't too bad.
Except for the lingering distant aroma of cat piss from the prior tenant.
When he opened the bag of food the smell was overrun by hot salty fries and greasy all American beef, the cat piss didn't stand a chance. Kon took his time enjoying his meal because he wasn't sure when the next time would come where he could afford cheap fast food again.
A remote part of his brain chastised himself that he should have saved the $10 and bought real food instead, the $7.67 he spent on his meal could have been at least three meals if he just bought a little hamburger, cheese, buns and some frozen fries.
But it wouldn't taste as good, and he didn't know how to cook. For all the weird information Cadmus implanted in his brain, everything from how to speak Mandarin to the show M.A.S.H., there wasn't anything in there about how to live domestically. Like how to make a burger patty and fry it up without getting food poisoning.
Kon sighed.
He was so tired of mentally beating himself up for just doing what any normal guy had to do to keep off the street, feed himself, and be self-sustainable.
Next time he would be smarter about his money, he told himself then crumpled his empty fast food bag and tossed it into the garbage can.
The smell of cat piss came back and Kon pushed it out of his mind. It was a small price to pay for not sleeping on a cardboard box, and at least it didn't smell like Bart's scout burning to death and-
Kon ripped from the mattress and ran to the bathroom.
Once again, his stomach was empty.
Kon missed Bart and Robin, he realized after a long day with Young Justice.
Monday through Friday he was mostly Maintenance-Boy barring dealing with the occasional goon insistent on being a problem; but on the weekend he was Superboy among his friends with Young Justice.
Only since the Imperiex War ended it really wasn't the same anymore.
Ray was an alright guy even if he was pushing twenty and he almost killed him last year. Begrudgingly Kon also had to admit that Slo-bo was also alright enough, he was certainly better than Lil' Lobo. However neither were Bart or Robin, and Kon still hadn't had the opportunity to apologize to the latter for their blow-up that landed them on Apokolips in the first place, which led to Bart being a coma, and both of them quitting the team.
Two of the founding members gone and it was all his fault.
Kon missed Robin's confidence and (almost) unflappable resolve. Perhaps if he went to Gotham and apologized properly for fighting him, maybe he would come back and things could feel a little more normal again! Kon could even use his real name now that everyone knew it thanks to Bedlam. Tim Drake, a far better name than Alvin fucking Draper.
A part of Kon hoped that after Bedlam's world had been shattered and everything was reset back to the way it was supposed to be, both Bart and Tim would have come back. But they didn't. Not yet anyway. Maybe not ever, Kon considered with a sigh as he idly shuffled the Trivial Pursuit cards.
Random Trivia sure was a fun way to kill time, Kon mourned as he pined for Bart and his enthusiasm. He missed Tim and he wanted to repair things with him, but he grieved Bart.
Kon doubted he would have ever joined their hero team if it wasn't for Bart being there.
Then he had to go and get him incinerated and-
No.
Kon stopped shuffling the cards and instead rubbed his temple, desperately trying to ward off the thoughts - the sounds, the smell.
"You seem like you have a lot on your mind," Cassie asked him and he jumped a little, her presence pulling him away from his rumination.
"Yeah, yeah I do. My mind just won't shut up these days," Kon admitted and he put the cards back in their box then tossed them gently on the coffee table in front of him.
Cassie's face drew down, her expression caught between sorrow and deep thought. "Mine too. Look, I wanted to uh, apologize to you for some things."
"Apologize?" questioned Kon, baffled. "Cassie, what the fuck for? Did you sell some private information about me to the National Enquirer or something? If you did, can I at least have a cut?"
Cassie shook her head, her blond hair following her movement softly. "No, you know I'd never do that. It's about your… current situation."
Kon blinked as his mind raced over what she could have possibly done to warrant an apology that had anything to do with him. "Okay, now I'm lost. Help me out?"
Cassie began slowly like she had rehearsed what she was going to say many times before. "It's been bothering me for a while, and I know I kinda apologized before, but I don't think I did it right. I've been thinking about it a lot, and the longer I do, the less fair I realize I was being," explained Cassie.
Kon always imagined Cassie as equally confident and sure of her actions as Tim and it was a trait that he admired, seeing her suddenly uncertain surprised him. "Look, whatever you think you did, I'm sure you-"
Cassie cut him off. "I shouldn't have kicked you out from living here, it wasn't fair! You were homeless and had nowhere else to go, the same as Secret and Slo-bo, so there was no reason for me to be so hard on you. I was just, I don't know," Cassie finished as she diverted her eyes from Kon. "I don't know why I kicked you out. I'm sorry."
Oh.
"Cassie that's bullshit," Kon said bluntly.
Cassie's face contorted into a frown. "Yeah, it was really shitty of me to do! I don't know what I was thinking. The thing is, I'm sorry, I never should've done that. If you want to live here, you can! I mean this place has seventy empty rooms, it's an old hotel for fuck's sake! Pick one, any one!"
Kon sat with her words and didn't really know what to do with them. He admired her as a leader and leaned on her forwardness and blunt but tough compassion because he knew he had his own failures in judgments. Kon never once thought Cassie was wrong when she told him to take responsibility, and a part of him felt offended that she felt the need to apologize.
She only told him what any adult would, right?
His first Impulse was to yell at her that she was wrong, but he reined the urge back and breathed through it instead. "Cass, I'm doing good now. I have a job and my own place! You have nothing to apologize for. You gave me the kick in the ass I needed to finally stop freeloading on others. You were right back then, I needed to take responsibility so here I am. I'm doin' it!"
Cassie made an aggravated noise. "You don't get it, Kon. I shouldn't have done that in the first place. It was insensitive and mean. You needed help, not a kick in the ass!"
Kon shrugged. "Whatever. I don't know if Donna or someone else got on your ass about it, but it's all good now. I have my own pad, and can pay my own bills, and I don't need to listen to Slo-bo's stupid laugh when I'm trying to sleep."
"You're so stubborn, you know that?" Cassie sighed in defeat; she hoped for a different reaction entirely. "Well, whatever. I said my piece. If Lee Lee's burns down or something, you're welcome here!"
"Thanks, Cassie," Kon said and something in his chest felt weird, sort of mushy and spiky at the same time. "Any room right?"
"Yep. Promise."
"Yours?"
Cassie slapped him playfully upside the head and they both laughed. "Any other room, jerk."
"You know I'm kidding!" They laughed, and when it dithered into silence again Kon couldn't help but sigh, his eyes fixated on the deck of cards. "Man, I miss Bart."
Cassie's eyes went softer. "Yeah, I thought he might be back by now. You know, impulsive decisions don't last long with him. I thought he would be back within a month and now - I dunno. I guess that wasn't an impulsive decision for him after all."
"He really saved the day when Bedlam messed with us, we would have been screwed forever if it weren't for him," remembered Kon. "I wonder if he's really done with it all," he paused then added darkly- "or maybe he's just done with me."
Cassie looked at Kon. "You? What do you mean you? Did you two fight?"
Kon scoffed. "No, but I did get him killed. Twice."
This time Cassie was outraged. "What the hell are you talking about? Bart's perfectly fine!"
Kon didn't know if he wanted to be that vulnerable with Cassie, but there was no one else in his life in that moment that he felt like he could talk to about what haunted him. "You were there when Bart's scout got taken out, remember? On Apokolips."
The memory was vivid. Cassie remembered the scream, the smell, and Bart collapsing at their feet as he seized and wouldn't wake up - but most of all she remembered how powerless she was as all she could do was watch it happen. "Yeah, yeah I remember," she said softly but then squared herself. "But he recovered from that! We all did!"
"Did he? Did we? He left Young Justice after that! Then Bedlam fucked around with him and us and I…" he swallowed hard, "watched another one of his scouts get murdered in front of me."
"Oh, shit," Cassie swore. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Kon shrugged. "Didn't seem important at the time, we were all sorta busy with other things and everything got fixed up anyway. Didn't see the point in bringing it up."
"So you think Bart is avoiding you because you watched his scouts die? Kon, that doesn't make sense. He would have to be avoiding me too then!"
"No. It's not because I watched them die. It's because it was my fault both of them died in the first place!" Kon blurted shakily. "If I didn't get in a fight with Rob-, er Tim, then we never would have crashed on Apokolips, and Bart would have never ended up in that coma. He never would have quit Young Justice! And when the world got all backwards, if only I did more to help him, then Doomsboy wouldn't have choked him to death!"
The mental image made Cassie's blood turn cold. She never knew what Kon had experienced as 'Konel brother of Doomsboy' while she reveled in hedonistic selfishness with Cissie and Anita. She never even bothered asking him. "I'm sorry," she murmured and sat on the arm of Kon's chair so she could throw her arms around his shoulders in a hug. "I didn't know."
Kon sighed through the embrace as he returned it. "Yeah, like I said. I wouldn't be surprised if Bart doesn't want t' have anything to do with me anymore because of that."
"Now that's bullshit."
"Ah my turn now, huh? I just say my piece and we let it go?" Kon croaked a bit as he forced himself not to cry. He was not going to cry in front of one of the people he admired most.
"After I say this," said Cassie as she shifted and locked her eyes with his. "Yeah, you made a mistake back then, but what happened to Bart wasn't your fault. You and Bart had something unique that none of us had, and I don't think Bart left because he blamed you for what happened, I don't think he ever will blame you. You mean something to him that I'm not sure any of us ever will."
Kon knew in his gut that Cassie was right, but the guilty part of him felt like Bart was within his rights to never want to see him again. Closing his eyes, he sighed as Cassie squeezed him. "Thanks for agreeing I made a mistake, Cassie," he pushed out. "I needed someone to agree with me that I messed up."
"No one is perfect," she said gently. "But I'm serious. I think you should talk to Bart and let him know how you, uh, you know, feel."
Listening to someone else tell him what he needed to do gave Kon's mind and heart a push they desperately needed, and he patted her back. "Thanks Cassie. You're right. I'll talk to him soon."
Last year when Kon first found out Bart lived in Alabama he giggled.
Mostly because it was one of the last places he expected, and he had pre-programmed prejudices about the American South; Alabama wasn't just Suthern, it was the South pronounced with two syllables and a lazy note from a banjo string drifting on the wind.
Bart didn't understand why he laughed then, and Kon couldn't explain why living in Alabama was funny as Bart looked at him with his big curious yellow eyes. A more crass him might have said a crude joke about Bart's intelligence and a Southern stereotype, but even that was too mean for him, so he just thought it instead and waved his curiosity off.
The older, wiser, and more responsible Kon knew better now.
Kon liked flying over Alabama, particularly during early Summer like it was right now. It was lush, full of bright green trees in all directions, some with pale blossoms strewn through their delicate leaves. Then there were the swamps, hot and humid, but so pretty they just about took Kon's breath away because there was something ancient about them that excited and terrified him the longer he flew through them.
And the cities…
Manchester wasn't Metropolis, but it wasn't Smallville either, he thought as he swooped around its iconic clock tower and gave a few excited children a friendly wave. It was bright, cozy, but lively and every street had someone outside just enjoying life. Sweet tea and barbecue on the wind under laughter.
Sweet Home Alabama made sense.
Just his kind of place, really. Somewhere in the middle of exciting and lazy, and there was no pretending what it was.
Kon knew he had to be quick to catch Bart Allen at home. Especially as Superboy because the world only knew Bart Allen as Bart Allen and he knew he wanted to keep it that way, otherwise Max would kill him. Gliding through the sprawling suburbs he found Bart's street and quickly shot to the backyard of the house he remembered being his: 323 Maple Drive, the single level house with brick trim and a single large beech tree in the back.
Yep, this was it, Kon confirmed and walked up the deck to the sliding glass backdoor. He had only been to his house a couple times before, but he knew everyone that lived there and-
A boy he had never seen in his life was suddenly starring at him slack-jawed, mid-milk pour into his cereal as Kon stood in mid-knock.
"Oh! Shit!" Kon sputtered. Shit shit shit!
"Superboy?!"
"Oh! Uh! Hi," Kon fumbled, his mind whirring. Who the heck was this boy? Did he know Bart? Did he know he was Impulse?
For the first time in Kon's life he felt like what Bart must feel like as time seemed to pause as he panicked on the back porch. Then words flung out of his mouth. "Do you know where Impulse is around these parts? I thought I saw him run around here!" Stupid.
The boy stared at him for a moment before he blinked. "Oh, uh. I haven't seen him in-"
"Mike? Who are you talking to?" asked a woman's voice and Kon recognized it immediately as he sighed in relief. Then the woman appeared in the kitchen and gasped when she saw Kon. "Superboy?"
Kon waved awkwardly. "Hi uh, Ms- I mean Dr. Claiborne, I'm looking for Impulse, see him around?"
Helen's jaw tightened as she sighed and patted Mike on the shoulder. "Mike, I need to talk to Superboy for a moment."
"How do you know Superboy?!" Mike persisted wide-eyed.
"I put a tooth back in his skull," she lied quickly as she marched to the glass doors and slid them open. Mike tried to follow but held himself back when she gave him a look. "I'll tell you about it later, okay?" Mike didn't say anything in response and Helen grabbed Kon by the arm and led him to the middle of her backyard. Once alone and far enough away from curious ears, she crossed her arms over her chest. "You don't know where Bart is? I thought he was one of your best friends?"
Well that didn't need to hurt as much as it did and Kon felt defensive. "I don't keep track of him all day and night, I know he lives here so I thought I'd say hi! I uh, got a lot of things I wanted to talk to him about, y'know, stuff."
Helen relaxed as her aggravation bled from her. "I'm sorry hon, he doesn't live here anymore. He hasn't for about two months!"
Kon felt like fainting as his mouth just started running. "Two months? Where is he now?! What happened? Who is that guy in the kitchen?"
"One thing at a time! Gosh! You're just like Bart," Helen lamented suddenly and her eyes were wet. Seeing her on the verge of tears forced Kon to break from his yapping panic.
Kon took a breath. "Dr. Claiborne, what happened to Bart? Why isn't he living with you and Max?"
Under a perfect early summer afternoon Helen told him everything.
Kon felt like an idiot as he blasted across the American South arcing towards the Midwest.
He acknowledged that Bart and him had grown a little distant since he quit the team, but he always thought that at least he'd always know what was going on with him.
Kon blamed himself for not reaching out. He always had Bart's email address he could have used, but day after day he just didn't. A distant part of him could have blamed not being interested in computers but he knew that wasn't it.
He was simply afraid to find out if Bart actually hated him.
Helen was gracious and patient as she explained the tragic events leading up to Bart being, in her words, removed from her home following Max's plight. She tried to refrain from hiding the bitterness, but Kon could tell that there was some unresolved hostility between her and whoever it was that decided Bart couldn't live with her anymore.
"I'm sure I could have made it work with Bart here." Kon remembered her say and he guessed it had to do with the boy staring at them from the kitchen.
Kon apologized for stirring up her house and quickly left after that, thanking her for the information that led him to the Kansas-Missouri border.
If Kon stopped to think for even a moment he'd recognize how impulsive he was being, but he didn't. Instead he flew and flew until he crossed over the ancient Appalachian mountains and witnessed the land even out into the threshold of the great plains. Below him the Earth was like a large patchwork blanket sewn together in colors of the Earth itself.
Navigating to specific cities was easier at night for Kon, however Kon had spent enough time flying over Kansas to Metropolis to know exactly where Keystone City was.
He never had the chance to stop in Keystone City before and he didn't know what to make of it when he finally reached it.
It was clean, and had a youth to it that was missing from Metropolis and Smallville, it also lacked the charm and honesty of Manchester. If Kon had to assign it a vibe it was a chrome kitchen, a place built to serve a function but was wrapped up in trends and hiding what it actually was. It was utterly unremarkable, and Kon had to force himself to remember that this city was known to house three generations of speedsters at one point or another.
This was their home.
Bart's home.
Didn't Tim also live here once, briefly? Kon wondered.
That conversation felt like it happened a hundred years ago and Kon smiled a little to himself as he remembered Bart trying desperately to cheer Tim up. The blush that spread on Kon's face when he remembered Bart in the cheerleading outfit did not go unnoticed by him and he slapped his cheeks with both of his hands to get the mental image out of his head. "Focus Superboy! You're on a mission here! Now, if I were a speedster, where would I live?"
Kon sighed as he gazed over the expanse of the gray city sprawling out from his vantage point.
He had no idea where to even start.
"Shit," he swore and rubbed his eyes as he thought about his next move. He didn't even think to ask Helen for an address! Helen was right to compare him to Bart, because sometimes they both were very, very impulsive.
Well, if he was so much like Bart, then maybe a Bart solution was what he needed.
Kon lowered himself into the city and just started flying around randomly - with some luck, he'd find his friend.
Bart found him less than three minutes later.
He just appeared right next to Kon running on the roof of one of the hundreds of buildings, waving at him rapidly with the biggest smile on his face.
Kon smiled back.
"What are ya doin' in Keystone?! Did King Shark break loose? Is he here? Metallo maybe? Does Superman need help?!" Bart asked rapidly not even giving Kon a second to break in to answer one question before he rattled another one off.
Kon chose a building to land on so he could talk properly to his beloved friend. "Nah, everything's going great in Metropolis."
Bart actually looked a little disappointed by that as he met him on the roof. "Oh."
"I uh, actually came here to uh-" Crap this was a lot harder than Kon thought it would be when he found himself stammering. As he fumbled his words, Bart stared at him, his yellow bug-eyed goggles reflecting Kon's stupid flummoxed face. Just one look at his warped reflection was embarrassing enough and Kon almost flew away.
Then Bart's expression grew sullen. "Someone else died, didn't they?" he asked softly.
Oh my God. Kon was really butchering this moment. "No! No, Imp. No one died, I just came here because I wanted to see you!" he finally got out.
Bart clearly didn't expect that and he looked around Kon then he blurred a little before he came back into focus. "Sorry, I was just looking to see if there were any hidden cameras. Did you say you came here to see me?"
That statement made Kon feel shitty. "Yeah, yeah I did. The fact is I have a lot on my mind and a lot of it is about you." There, he got some more out. "I tried to catch up with you in Alabama. Helen told me about what happened with Max Mercury and everything. I'm sorry man."
Bart was quiet for a moment and his expression was hard to read when his eyes were completely covered. He looked like he was thinking, processing what Kon had told him as he waded through dozens of emotions he wasn't sure what to do with. Finally he spoke and his voice was lower, more serious. "Thanks. I guess I'm sorry for not tellin' you I moved. It sorta happened suddenly and- well, I guess I thought it didn't matter because I quit the team."
"You quit the team but you didn't quit being my friend, right?" Kon asked.
"Of course not! I just, argh, it's hard to explain!" Bart flustered. "The thing is I'm sorry for not tellin' you myself. I guess I just got wrapped up in my own head."
"Boy, do I know how that's like," Kon sighed and he walked over to the edge of the building and sat down, bringing one knee to his chest as he looked over the long stretching horizon. "It sucks life doesn't have a reset button like a video game, right?"
Bart joined him, dangling his large feet over the edge but he wasn't looking at the city, he was focusing entirely on Kon. "Max drilled that into my head I dunno how many times, I guess I needed it."
"Still, I sorta wish there was one. Then I could go back, do things differently, y'know?"
"Do things differently? Like what?" Bart asked, still maintaining his long gaze on Kon.
Kon finally tilted his head to return Bart's look instead of getting lost in on the horizon. "I wouldn't have gotten us stranded on Apokolips, for one." Bart continued to stare at him and Kon decided to boldly run down his demons and face them. "Bart, that's sort of why I'm here. I wanted to apologize for everything."
Bart's mostly blank expression shifted to one of surprise. "Apologize? What for?"
"Like I said, everything." Bart still looked at him like he didn't get it and Kon looked skywards and breathed before he continued. "I'm responsible for getting your scout killed, both times. If I wasn't such a screw up, you wouldn't have quit the team and-"
"Woah! That's what you think?" Bart interrupted. Kon lowered his gaze to him and he could tell those yellow eyes were piercing him through his goggles.
"Well, yeah. It's the truth. I got into that big fight with Rob, which made us crash on Apokolips, which led to your scout being killed and you ending up in a coma then quitting! Then when Bedlam messed with all of us - I just sat and watched Doomsboy kill your scout and didn't do anything to try to stop it!"
"You were also a normal human guy, what could you do?!" Bart argued.
"I dunno, something. Normal guys can do stuff. Look at Rob! But I did nothing, and I still was responsible for the first one getting blasted!"
Bart grew quiet then as he stared at Kon. The city breathed around them in a sigh of cars and birds then Bart spoke. "I don't blame you for that. That was me, er, him. Us. On Apokolips, I sent him out without thinking, and he wasn't looking where he was going, and wasn't listening. It was my fault. Maybe you got us all stuck there on accident, but like, I was the one who got him hurt because I didn't wait for Cassie's call," Bart sighed. "Anyway, I don't blame you."
Kon could tell this was going nowhere, why couldn't Bart just accept he was guilty?
Mentally too exhausted to be mad about it, Kon instead reached to Bart's thick auburn hair and tousled it with a fond tired expression on his scruffy face. Bart seemed to enjoy it as he leaned into the touch and they sat together like that for a while until Kon finally thought of something to say. "I guess we both messed up and are finding ways to deal with it, huh?"
"I guess," Bart said as Kon took his hand back. "I thought I was done being Impulse and well, here I am again!"
"So things do get better." Kon smiled, it comforted him that despite everything that Bart went through he seemed just the same as ever. "Don't ever stop bein' him again, okay?"
Bart huffed a little laugh. "I wouldn't want to be anyone else, because I'm me! Impulse is here to stay! Forever!"
Kon draped a friendly arm around Bart's smaller shoulders in a half hug, their temples resting against each other. Kon didn't know why, but he felt like the two scouts that had been haunting him for weeks were finally put to rest and he could finally forgive himself for everything. Kon didn't want the moment to end, because like this everything was perfect, but eventually Bart shifted upright away from him.
"Hey, have you been to Comet Arcade here?" he asked suddenly.
Kon smiled. "Imp buddy, this is the first time I've ever stepped foot in Keystone!"
"Wanna go?" Bart suggested.
"Heck yeah, but you're gonna have to spot me, I'm broke as hell."
This time Bart grinned, blurred and was gone for only five seconds; when he came back he had a small bag filled with loose change and even a few stray bills. "Is this enough? There's alotta loose change in the world! I can always find more!"
The laugh that came out of Kon's chest was wheezy and joyful as he again ruffled Bart's hair. "Imp, m' man! You're the best!"
Kon found it difficult to say good-bye to Bart after two hours of unapologetic gaming where he got his ass kicked, and eating more onion rings than he ever had in his brief life. But eventually when the sun was balancing on the far horizon they had to part ways.
Because Bart had to go home because he had school in the morning, and Kon had normal guy stuff.
Bart hugged him before they parted and Kon didn't want to let him go.
He wanted to crumple and apologize all over again for being a shitty friend.
Instead Bart hugged him tight, Kon distantly noticed that Bart was a wall of muscle under his suit. When Bart's hand made its way into his hair and ruffled it like Kon always did to him, it almost undid him - he didn't deserve Bart's joy and forgiveness.
But he said nothing and huffed a small chuckle. "You'll mess up my hair, Imp," he said instead and Bart insisted it looked fine as always.
When Kon was flying back to Metropolis he found himself crying, and why he wasn't really sure. It was a good fucking day! He got to apologize to Bart, firmly established that they were still friends (and always would be), got a pretty good meal (he swore he'd pay him back) and he was going home to live a regular guy sort of life.
So why did he still feel like absolute gutter shit?
"Damn it, SB, you gotta pull yourself together man!" Kon chastised himself. "You have the regular guy life you always wanted and found out Bart doesn't hate you so what's up with the wussy ass tears?" Wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeve, his vision blurred as he approached the edge of Metropolis. He didn't need to see it clearly, the lights of the city alone made it impossible to miss the distinct edge of Suicide Slums and Lee Lee's run down brick apartment building.
Almost the second he landed Lee Lee came running out to greet him, a wet towel in his hand. "Superboy! Thank God you're back! Get your ass up to #39! Dumb fucking bitch left the tub running again! It's flooded three other units!"
"Aw nuts! Really?"
"It should be fast to clean up with your TKK or whatever, right?"
Kon honestly wasn't sure, up until getting this job he hadn't used his tactile telekinesis in such domestic ways before, but he didn't want to disappoint Lee Lee. "I dunno but I'll make sure it gets drier than the Sahara by tomorrow morning!" Or at least as dry as his eyes finally were.
Lee Lee smiled bombastically and clapped his shoulder. "Excellent! Now. Go!"
Kon marched into the building as if he was facing down Darkseid himself. "Never ending battle, here I come!"