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Maybe the world would turn out okay. Maybe things would be alright eventually. Kris didn't know. A chill gripped their spine every moment their mind wandered to the future. They didn't want to know.
There were moments of respite - a place of respite at least. It was not free. Kris had already used what little autonomy they could steal to make their way into the school’s old closet. Yet, here, tucked beneath a dark, paper-cutout moon in a forgotten courtyard, was peace. It was worth it.
Ralsei called the castle "a place where Kris could be safe, no matter what was happening outside." Kris doubted such a place could truly exist. The world would inevitably find its way here. The pain of the past and the worry of the future would inevitably collide here, as they did everywhere. Yet maybe they were wrong. They hoped they were wrong. If nothing else, right here, in the present, maybe things would be okay. If nothing else, Ralsei's lap felt warm, their paw warmer.
"I'm here, Kris... I'll always be here," the darkner comforted. Kris knew it was a lie. They could see the tears welling up in his avoidant eyes. Yet maybe they were wrong. Once again, Kris hoped they were wrong.
Angel, Kris really hoped they were wrong. Their body shuddered. He couldn’t leave. They were sobbing in his arms - at least they were pretty sure they were – by now. They had never felt too attached to their own form - the human parts were all wrong. Now, more cage than self, their actions felt even more distant than normal.
If it was their own tears, then it was probably truly themself. After all, Kris was pathetic. Kris was weak. They weren’t some sort of grand hero. They were already breaking down at what Susie and Ralsei had put up with. They couldn't even cast magic like the Dark Prince, nor resist the fearsome blows of creatures of the dark like the girl with hope crossed on her heart. They couldn't do anything unique. At least their crying was truly their own.
"I'm here..." Ralsei repeated. That part wasn't a lie. Kris could feel softness, Kris could smell their sweet, marshmallow scent. A fuzzy paw wiped away their tears. His paws felt just as soft. They were fluffy like Toriel’s. Yet, his touch was gentle - much unlike their mom’s usually smothering grip. Undeniably, Ralsei was here. Kris was thankful for that.
Kris couldn't bear the thought of being away from them. Ralsei almost seemed to look forward to these moments more than Kris. Kris needed them. Kris would shatter without them.
Ralsei's pets were slow. Kris didn't know how long they'd last. Kris tried not to think about how lonely the walk back home would be. Kris tried not to think about how many more times they'd get to savor those lonely walks beneath midnight stars. They hoped they'd be able to for an eternity.
Kris silently basked in the glow of Ralsei's meager smile. They wanted to take in all its warmth while they still could. They wanted to see it grow old. They wanted to see it like this every morning. They wanted their own glow to be extinguished instead of it. If nothing else, they wanted to be extinguished before it was.
"I love you," the words formed on Kris's lips. They couldn't make a sound. Ralsei smiled, tilting his head as he looked down at Kris. The lightner hoped their prince would hear those silent words. They weren't brave enough to do anything but mime them. If he understood, Ralsei wasn't brave enough either. Beneath twinkling stars in the castle courtyard, love felt like the only emotion that could exist - the only emotion strong enough to not be devoured by the swarm of butterflies in their stomach.
Ralsei continued petting. Kris curled into his lap, wrapping an arm around his soft waist. Their digits sank into his robe. They wouldn't let go until they had to. Even then, they'd struggle to let go. Kris never knew if it'd be for the last time. Kris dreamed of there never being a last time.
Ralsei grew still for a moment. His paw firmly found itself on Kris's shoulder. The goat murmured something indecipherable beneath his breath as a familiar sensation spread throughout Kris. It was a tingle throughout the hero's hollow insides. Not the normal kind of stomachfeel in moments like these - the dull nauseating ache and pangs of despair - but rather, a warmth, a softness. A heal prayer.
It healed nothing on its own.
"... I know it can't, um, usually heal inside injuries, but I thought maybe..." Ralsei mumbled, looking away from the lightener. His own eyes were watery. Perhaps it was a feeling of helplessness from seeing Kris like this - perhaps it was the grim awareness of their same fate. "... It was a stupid ide-"
Kris reached up, putting a hand over the fluffy creature's mouth. Ralsei shut up. Maybe the spell had worked a little - not that the magic had any impact.
Kris kept a hand clasped over the goat. With their free appendage, they reached into their pack as the bovidae watched. Their grip only relented upon retrieving a final dark candy - and only for the briefest of moments necessary to force the item into Ralsei's mouth.
Kris may not have known spells, but the marshmallow-y substance had served a healing purpose well enough during the duo's first shared adventure. It was the best the hero could offer. Only reluctantly, Ralsei chewed, then swallowed.
"... T... Thank you, Kris," the goat hesitantly spoke, his voice wavering. "I'm... I'm not used to others caring about... me, haha."
His right paw took Kris's into its fluff.
"... It means a lot."
... Those words - the feeling of being able to provide some relief to their love - made Kris feel just a little less hollow. For a moment, for just a brief moment, as they reached up to wipe tears from the goat's face, they knew everything was okay. After all, they had each other.
“… I, um… might know a spell that could help you,” Ralsei murmured. “Um, only if you’d like.”
Kris looked up, motionless. Meekly, they nodded.
Ralsei placed a hand on his knight’s cheek, beginning to recite an incantation.
The world outside grew colorless, their worries fading along with it. The world within grew vivid. Kris’s eyes felt heavy.
Somewhere, off in the distance, Kris could hear Ralsei’s soft voice muttering.
“P-Pacify…”
=-=-=
Ralsei was sure that he would break down crying as soon as Kris could no longer see. It was hard to hold it all in while trying to comfort Kris – to not make Kris concerned with the Prince’s wellbeing. Yet, with the sweet, soft taste of darkcandy in mouth, tears seemed to evade the darkner.
Kris’s breathing grew heavier. The sound was soothing to Ralsei’s floppy ears. Even with the lightner asleep, the Prince of the Dark didn’t stop petting. Even with Kris adventuring in a realm of fantasy now, Ralsei hoped that Kris would somehow, nonetheless, feel the soothing sensation of his touch. At least, that’s what Ralsei tried to assure himself of.
More greedily, perhaps he just wanted to indulge – to continue being close to them. Selfishly, he wanted to savor this sight – of Kris sleeping - each morning and evening. He wanted their adventures to never end. He wanted Kris to never have to leave the dark world again – or at least to be able to join them in the light world. He never wanted to be apart. He wanted the impossible. Yet, for a moment, it all felt possible.
“I love you, Kris,” Ralsei whispered. Feelings that he should not be feeling escaped his lips. He was just a darkner. Yet, with Kris, it somehow all felt alright. The lightner only shifted in their sleep in response. Ralsei wondered if they heard. He hoped that they did.
=-=-=
Kris’s eyes gently opened. It was never morning in the dark world. The land found itself basked in eternal night. Still, they felt well-rested. They weren’t in the courtyard any longer. They were somewhere warm, somewhere soft.
They were in their room. Perhaps it wasn’t what Toriel – or anyone else – considered their room, but it was their true room. Trophies “to Kris, for being Kris” rested on shelves just above them. A wastebasket filled with more tissues than they had left it with the night prior – though perhaps less than there could have been – lay at the base of the bed. A book they had never read – but cherished for its author - rested on their bedstand, just beside a pair of golden, circle-framed glasses.
A fluffy paw draped over their shoulder. They took it into their own hand. Holding his paw tightly, it didn’t matter what the future held. For right now, everything was okay.