Work Text:
Petey stared at his reflection in the mirror of his bedroom, watching with a bit of horror the sweater he was wearing. Chief had organized an ugly sweater party for all his employees and their families. At first, he had refused to attend; however, after a lot, a lot, of insistence from his boyfriend and his son, he eventually gave in.
Dog Man and Li’l Petey had spent an entire afternoon in a clothing store searching for the ugliest Christmas sweaters they could find. Petey… Petey had only looked at them from a distance after telling them they could choose whatever they wanted him to wear.
And oh, how he regretted that the moment they proudly presented him with a neon-green sweater featuring a drawing of the Grinch and the phrase “On the naughty list, so?” stitched in horrible embroidery meant to resemble Christmas lights. He tried to get them to pick another sweater, but was met with a pair of sad puppy eyes. Not even Petey had the heart to say no to that.
“Woof,” barked Dog Man, drawing Petey’s attention. The dog was wearing a royal-blue sweater decorated with bone patterns that mimicked candy canes, and as if that weren’t ridiculous enough, the sweater was surrounded by tiny lights that turned on when you pressed a button. “Ready to go?” he signed.
“Are you sure the sweater is completely necessary?” Petey muttered.
“It’s an ugly sweater party… the name says it all,” he smiled as he spoke, moving his hands slowly enough to seem condescending. Petey rolled his eyes.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go. It’s not like I have the best reputation with the rest of the police department,” he sighed. “Plus, I’m terrible at these kinds of events.”
The hybrid took his boyfriend’s hand between his own and kissed it solemnly. The action made the cat’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. He wasn’t great at dealing with the physical affection Dog Man showed so casually.
“Everything’s going to be fine. I’ll be right next to you for the whole party. And if you lose sight of me…” With his right hand, he pressed the button on the hem of his sweater. “Just follow the light.”
“Ugh, that wasn’t even funny,” the cat grumbled, but as much as he hated to admit it, the joke made him feel a little better. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”
Dog Man offered his arm, and it could’ve passed as a gallant gesture if it weren’t for the fact that the moment Petey wrapped his hands around it, Dog Man bolted out of the room and down the stairs so fast that they almost both fell. At least it gave Li’l Petey and 80-HD a good show.
“Welcome! I’m glad you made it!” Chief greeted them as he opened the door to his home. Nurse Lady stood beside him. They had decided to wear matching sweaters. Clarence’s read “All I want for Christmas…” while Genie’s said “It’s me!”
“Come in, you can give me your coats and I’ll take care of them,” the nurse said with a smile, which widened when she saw the cat’s sweater. “Oh wow. I think you might win the contest, Petey.”
“Uh… thanks, I guess,” he replied, glancing around as he noticed other guests had already arrived. Some were too engrossed in conversation to notice them, but he quickly caught a few glances directed their way, which made him deeply uncomfortable.
“Hey, Li’l Petey,” Chief called as he knelt to the kitten’s height. “Why don’t you and HD-80 go to the dining room with the other kids? Milly volunteered to supervise the children while they make a gingerbread house.”
Li’l Petey gasped excitedly, and both the child and the robot immediately turned to Petey and Greg. “Can we? Pleeeease,” he begged, bouncing on the balls of his feet as the robot emitted excited noises.
“Alright, alright,” the cat conceded, thinking about how the kitten definitely wouldn’t be sleeping tonight after all the sugar. “HD-80, don’t let him eat too many gummies. You know what happened last time.”
“It was one time!” the kitten protested. “And Dog Man’s hair grew back!”
Before they could spend the next half hour arguing about how dangerous antifreeze is for children to handle, Chief guided the kid and the robot to the dining room, leaving both parents alone to enjoy the party with the other adults.
Greg decided to go greet the rest of his coworkers. Some didn’t seem to care that he, the former most evilest cat in the world, had decided to attend a party full of police officers with whom he had a long history. Others, however, even if they tried, failed to hide their discomfort.
Petey tried to quiet the thoughts in his head, telling himself he was exaggerating and that he shouldn’t assume everyone hated him.
Even if those people happened to be police officers he had tormented for years.
They went to a table filled with food and bowls of drinks. A few guests were chatting there, and when they saw Dog Man approaching, they immediately included him in the conversation. Petey simply observed in silence, listening as the conversation carried on without him participating. It wasn’t like he had much to add to a discussion centered on how annoying paperwork was.
“I’m telling you, crime gets worse this time of year,” said an officer who looked like he’d been on the force for decades. “I don’t miss my days as a patrolman. I still remember having to respond to a convenience store robbery instead of being with my family on Christmas.”
“Yeah,” chimed in a younger officer. “Remember the year those three cats robbed a bank on Christmas Eve? Good thing they were dumb enough to forget there were security cameras, and we caught them quickly.” After saying that, another officer elbowed him none too subtly, making him realize his mistake. “Uh, I’m not saying all cats are dumb or anything, just…You know.”
Feeling self-conscious under everyone’s gaze, Petey could only nod. “Yeah, I get it.”
He tightened his grip on his glass, trying not to let his anger show as the conversation continued.
“Alright, everyone ready for the worst sweater contest!” Chief announced, earning cheers from the crowd.
One by one, the adults showed off their sweaters. Some were fairly tame, featuring terrible puns and classic Christmas patterns. Others, like Dog Man’s, had lights or decorations like bells and ornaments, each more ridiculous than the last.
When it was Petey’s turn, he initially refused. He hadn’t even known it was mandatory. But Dog Man, with his innocent, goofy smile, reminded him that everyone looked ridiculous and that the important thing was having fun. So, sighing, he stepped into the center of the room.
Some officers laughed immediately upon reading the phrase. Whether they genuinely found it funny or found irony in an ex-villain wearing a sweater with the biggest Christmas hater declaring himself naughty was beyond Petey’s comprehension. As soon as he could, he retreated to a corner, hoping to avoid being seen any longer.
The surprise of the night, however, was Milly. She joined the adults briefly to present her sweater. She claimed to be a sweater expert, so she showed off one of the worst sweaters in her vast collection: a red sweater with reindeer patterns, covered in bells, multicolored lights, and the cherry on top, a Santa face in the center that sang a terrible version of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” when you pressed its nose. Naturally, she won the prize: a mug, because apparently you can never have too many.
“That was fun,” Dog Man commented once the mood relaxed again.
“It could’ve been worse, I guess,” the cat crossed his arms.
Dog Man looked like he was about to say something when the volume of the music suddenly increased. It was no longer the soft carols that had been playing in the background for the past few hours; it was real dance music now. Immediately, many officers and their partners gathered to move along to the beat.
Excited, Dog Man tugged at Petey, trying to pull him along to do the same. The cat, however, was far from pleased.
“Greg, you know I don’t dance,” the cat hissed, gesturing as if to leave.
“Of course you do. You dance at home all the time,” he argued, to the cat’s utter mortification.
“Scratch that then, you know I don’t dance in front of people,” the cat clarified, feeling his face heat up.
“Please, just this once, okay?” the dog pleaded for what felt like the tenth time that night. And, like every other time before, Petey gave in to Dog Man’s wishes.
And so they started dancing. Neither of them was a good dancer, in fact, they were downright terrible. But it wasn’t like the rest of the officers were much better either. So after a couple of songs, Petey finally felt comfortable enough to move freely, laughing and clinging to Dog Man, genuinely having a good time for what might have been the first time that night.
At some point, while walking backward, he bumped into someone. Nothing unusual, given the lack of space, except for the fact that he felt liquid spill down his back. He turned around quickly, finding a woman staring in horror at the hot wine she had just spilled.
“I’m so sorry, it wasn’t my intention,” the policewoman apologized repeatedly. After a moment, other guests began to turn to look at them, or rather at Petey.
“No, it’s fine. It was an accident,” Petey said through clenched teeth. Why did it feel like all the attention always ended up on him one way or another? Couldn’t he just blend in like any other guest?
The woman kept apologizing until Dog Man stepped in, saying it was no problem and that he would take care of cleaning everything up. Eventually, the party went on without issue, except for Petey, who was now wet and sticky.
Once again, he separated himself from everyone, standing beside a floor lamp. He took off the infamous sweater, leaving himself in just a dress shirt and his pants. That stain wasn’t coming out, he was sure of it.
Dog Man approached, noticing the change in Petey’s mood. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, but I don’t think Li’l Petey is going to be happy knowing the sweater you picked out got ruined.”
The dog looked at the garment in his boyfriend’s hands with pity, until an idea struck him. He took the sweater and quickly told Petey that he was going to wash it in the bathroom and that he shouldn’t move from there, without even letting the cat explain that it would only spread the stain.
In any case, it wasn’t like he liked that sweater to begin with.
Petey leaned against the wall, waiting. He looked around, noticing that the dancing had already stopped and that, a few minutes later, the carols had taken over the radio once more. How long could Dog Man possibly take in the bathroom?
“I can’t believe Petey actually came,” he heard from a distance. Petey’s hearing, however, was good enough to pick up his name even through the music.
“I can’t believe Dog Man invited him. After everything he’s done,” another officer replied with the same irritated tone. “He spends years being a complete nuisance, and just because they’re dating now, he expects us to treat him nicely.”
Subtly, Petey searched for the source of the voices, noticing Maude sitting on the couch, that awful officer who was always looking for ways to sabotage Greg. And her friend, who was so irrelevant, Petey had never bothered to learn his name.
“That’s right. Even if some people like to pretend otherwise, many of us will never forget everything that cat has done,” she said, flashing a malicious smile as she leaned closer to her friend. “Didn’t you see how Ellen spilled wine on his sweater? She told me it was because one of that cat’s evil plans made her miss her daughter’s ballet recital.”
Both officers laughed, and Petey’s heart sank into his stomach as he realized all his suspicions had been right from the start, and that he’d been foolish to believe otherwise.
“Good for her. There’s nothing we can do now that he’s the supa cop’s boyfriend, but at least it’s nice to remind him he’s not welcome from time to time,” Maude’s friend said venomously.
Suddenly, the room began to feel smaller. The conversations that had seemed distant moments ago now felt unbearably loud, and the need for fresh air became overwhelming. He headed for the door with steady steps. He wasn’t running away, he just… Need to be alone for a few minutes.
The cold night air filled his lungs, a sharp but welcome contrast to the stifling heat he’d been feeling moments earlier. He didn’t know whether his legs were trembling from the temperature or his nerves, but he decided to sit down on the front steps. Just a few minutes, he kept telling himself.
Greg hadn’t planned to take so long in the bathroom, but he never expected that the moment he started washing the sweater, what had been a fairly small stain would turn into a purple mess across the entire lower half. In his desperation, he sought Genie’s help. She sympathetically patted his head and told him she knew how to clean that kind of stain, and that if he allowed her, she could help.
It took them a bit longer to gather the necessary supplies, but it felt like a mission accomplished. Dog Man made sure to give the nurse plenty of doggy kisses to make it clear how grateful he was for her help. Genie just laughed at the ticklish sensation.
On his way back to the living room, he thought to check on Li’l Petey and HD-80. As usual, both had already made friends with practically every kid at the party, and to his relief, Milly informed him that Li’l Petey hadn’t eaten too many sweets, especially gummies.
So many screams…
When he returned to the spot where he’d last left Petey, the cat was nowhere to be found. He looked around, but there was no trace of him. He began walking around the house, occasionally asking his friends, but none of them had seen him.
It wasn’t until the third time he returned to the same spot beside the lamp that he heard a voice that nearly made the fur on the back of his neck stand on end.
“Lose something, Dog Man?” Maude’s mocking tone was unmistakable—no different from the way she usually spoke to him at the office.
However, contrary to what many liked to assume, Dog Man could control his impulses when he wanted to. Deciding not to cause a scene at his best friend’s party, he kept his composure. “Have you seen Petey?”
“Oh, the cat,” she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I saw him heading toward the exit a while ago,” she said dismissively, waving a hand toward the door. “I guess he ditched you.”
"You’re a good dog. Good dogs don’t bark at people on Christmas Eve," he reminded himself mentally as he walked away from Maude, who smiled maliciously, knowing her words had had some effect.
Still, his mind was more focused on worrying about the cat. He didn’t believe Petey would really leave without saying anything. But it wouldn’t hurt to make sure everything was okay. He headed for the entrance and, after grabbing his coat, stepped outside.
To his surprise, he didn’t have to go far. Petey was sitting on the front steps, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even react to the door opening behind him.
“Woof?” Dog Man called out. Only then did Petey seem to react.
“Greg… w-what are you doing here?” he stammered, and the dog immediately noticed the cat was trembling slightly.
It wasn’t surprising; the outside was much colder than the inside of the house. And to the dog’s concern, the only thing his boyfriend was wearing was his shirt, which didn’t seem to have escaped getting stained either. Suddenly, the damp sweater in his hands felt more like a mockery than an accomplishment.
Dog Man sat down beside Petey and, without a moment’s hesitation, draped his own coat over him. The cat accepted it immediately, not realizing how much he’d needed the warmth.
“I think I should be asking you that. It’s cold out here,” Dog Man signed, his brow furrowed with concern.
Petey looked like he was about to say something, but immediately thought better of it and chose to stare at the ground instead.
Silence settled between them, neither knowing what to say next. But Dog Man knew Petey, he knew all he had to do was be patient, that forcing him to talk would only make him shut down even more. So he scooted a little closer, just enough for their arms to press together, and laced their fingers.
Petey didn’t pull away. On the contrary, he tightened his grip, feeling a sense of peace fill his body for the first time all night.
“I’m sorry,” the cat said after a moment of silence, still staring at the ground. “This was supposed to be a fun night, and all I've been doing is complaining.”
Dog Man was surprised by his boyfriend’s statement, but mostly confused. “Why do you think it hasn’t been fun?” he asked, using only one hand since he refused to let go of Petey.
“It’s just…” Petey hesitated, unsure how to begin putting his feelings into words. “I’m not good at these things. I get overwhelmed easily, I don’t know how to keep conversations going with strangers for more than five minutes, and your coworkers don’t feel comfortable when I’m around.”
“It’s probably a misunderstanding, they don’t-”
“Greg, I heard them while you were gone. They don’t want me here,” Petey interrupted, finally looking straight at Dog Man. “All night I thought I was exaggerating, but from the very beginning I was nothing more than an intruder at their Christmas party.”
“Oh…” He wished he could say more, something that would make Petey see that his coworkers didn’t all feel that way. Unfortunately, from experience, he knew that police officers and other authority figures in the city could be resistant to change and didn’t always welcome people with open arms.
“It’s just…It’s not fair,” the cat continued. “I’ve been a do-gooder since I was pardoned. I haven’t committed any crimes, and I work honestly. But to them, I’ll always be the most evil cat in the world.”
“I think…” Dog Man tried to find the best way to respond to Petey’s harsh words, reassuring him that not everything was so bleak, without dismissing his feelings. “Maybe it’s harder for some people to accept change than for others. There are still a few coworkers who don’t like me very much either.”
Petey grimaced, knowing exactly who he meant.
“But,” Dog Man continued, “that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who do see your change and are proud of you.” With a sigh, he leaned closer until his head rested on Petey’s shoulder. “You’re doing really well.”
Petey felt a knot form in his throat. He wanted to snap at the dog to stop with the cheesy speeches that made him feel far too sentimental, but instead, he just sighed and rested his head against his boyfriend’s.
“Thank you.”
They stayed that way, enjoying each other’s body heat as they looked up at the starry sky. It wasn’t as beautiful as the one you could see outside the city, and there was no full moon, so the sky couldn’t fully show how stunning it could be. Even so, the moment felt perfect.
“We should go back inside,” the cat murmured reluctantly. “Li’l Petey is probably wondering where we went.”
Dog Man nodded, pulling away and standing up, then offering his hand to help him up. Petey rolled his eyes at how ridiculous the dog could be, but accepted it with a smile. That was when something caught his attention.
“Of course,” the cat chuckled. “Look up.”
Dog Man did so, finding a bunch of mistletoe hanging from the doorframe. He looked back at Petey, tilting his head in confusion, not understanding why the cat found it so amusing.
“Wait, you don’t know what it means?” the cat asked when it became clear that Dog Man was, in fact, confused. He just shook his head. “Ah, well… it’s an old tradition. They say that if two people stand under mistletoe, they’re supposed to kiss. I think it’s good luck or something.”
Dog Man looked back at the plant. It sounded like a strange tradition, but if it meant kissing Petey, he didn’t mind at all. Gently, he placed his hand on the cat’s shoulder and leaned in closer. Petey let himself be guided, tilting his head slightly until their lips met.
The contact was timid at first. Both of their noses were cold, making it a little surprising. After a few seconds, the intensity increased, shifting from a light brush to a steady, confident pressure. Dog Man slid his hands along Petey’s back, pulling him closer, seeking more of his body heat and regretting not being able to feel his soft fur through all the layers of clothing. Petey, for his part, cupped Dog Man’s face with both hands, deliberately running his fingers behind the dog’s long ears, knowing how much he loved that. After a few more moments, they pulled apart, catching their breath from the intensity of it all.
“Alright, puppy. We’d better go back inside,” Petey said. His cheeks were red and his breathing slightly uneven. “The party’s still going.”
“Actually…” Dog Man said quickly. “How about we grab Li’l Petey and 80-HD and head home? We could spend the rest of the night watching movies.”
“Really?” the cat asked, unsure. It sounded like a great idea, but he didn’t want them to leave just because he felt uncomfortable.
“Yeah. I don’t think Chief will mind.” He glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then added, “Besides, I like your hot chocolate recipe better than Nurse Lady’s.”
Petey laughed, that silly, unrestrained laugh he only made when he was thrilled. “Of course. I should’ve known you just wanted to go home and keep eating.”
“Among other things,” Dog Man winked as he opened the door to head back inside.
The cat stopped laughing as he caught the implication of what Dog Man meant.
Yep. It really was best if they went home soon.