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The last few hours have been weird to say the least.
At first Will feels invencible, he genuinely believes he can put an end to this whole madness, and for a second it had been true, he had found Vecna he took control over him, he can do this, he can save Max and Holly, next thing he knows he is once again being used as that bastard puppet.
It was pathetic, he was pathetic how he had been so stupid to think he could actually do something useful.
It was a miracle Max had managed to wake up after that but the universe owned them at least that.
Will was unable to hide his excitement, he had almost thrown himself out of the car so he could hug her.
It had been an eternity since the last time he saw her smile.
“You're here!” He exclaimed not caring if he was crying, he just held her in a tight hug, careful to not hurt her.
“I'm back. And hey what about you? I left you for a day and you became a wizard?”
Yeah, she was just as he remembered her, Vecna didn't destroy her spirit, Max was way stronger than that.
“To be fair it was more than a day”.
“And he's more like a sorcerer” Mike corrected for the third time in a day.
“It doesn't matter”.
“It matters”.
“Alright Wheeler whatever you say”.
Will couldn't help by smiling, only it was starting to feel real.
Mike was awake.
She was alive and she was right there laughing with them.
He couldn't believe he had almost killed her, whatever that happened inside that hospital was because of him, to think what could have happened if Vecna succeeded.
He didn't want to think about that possibility, he would have never forgiven himself if Max got hurt because of his incompetence.
He doubted anyone could have.
And while it would have been nice to be next to Max and Lucas during her little tour, he needed a minute alone.
He had to be sure this was not another vision from Vecna.
Will should be used to at this point, after years of disappearing in the upside down and getting possessed by an interdimensional demon, a couple of hallucinations should mean nothing to him. Except it wasn't a mere illusion that tortured his mind, it had been all his deepest fear and it had been real. Because even if Vecna couldn't see the future - and at this point that wasn't exactly impossible - Will knew very well that the possibility of people abandoning him once he revealed who he truly was existed.
And it terrified him more than any demogorgon.
It wasn't like he wanted to be this way or that he could control it, and honestly he wasn't even ashamed of it, but he wouldn't be able to deal with the rejection that could mean if someone knew.
For a while he was under the impression that maybe Jhonatan was aware of it and maybe, just maybe, he didn't care that much, at the end of the day he was his brother and nothing could change that. It made him believe that perhaps he could be honest with him, and stop hiding from himself.
But after today all his fears had returned and he wasn't sure of what to do.
“Will?”
Of course if there was someone who would notice his absence it would be his mother.
“Are you okay sweetie?”
Yeah he wanted to lie, it was easier and it also means he didn't need to explain anything yet, but then again, they were about to face the apocalypse and they didn't even have any guarantee that this crazy plan could work.
So maybe this was his only opportunity to do this under his own terms.
“Actually, no, I'm not”.
“What happened?” She asked with concern while sitting next to him.
“Well, while I- while I was being tortured by Vecna there was something he showed me and-” was it too late to regret this? He has barely started and he's already stuttering.
“Hey, it's alright, it's over now, whatever you saw wasn't real, it was another trick of that bastard son of a bitch”.
“But it was real” not exactly, yet he wasn't sure how to explain this.
Will tried to organize his thoughts, to trust Joyce wouldn't be mad at him for this. And it wasn't madness to believe it, this was his mother, the only person in the whole town who didn't give up on him when he was missing.
Well there had been someone else too, although he didn't want to think about that other person.
Which was easier said than done since his mind always insisted on bringing Mike Wheeler up in one way or another.
He didn't think it was weird at first, after all Mike was just an amazing friend, he always had his back and he was the first one to notice when something was wrong with Will. So it was only natural to be attracted to him, it was only natural to think he was special.
It was only natural to love him.
“Mike again? Sounds like you have a crush or something” his brother joked once, at that time, Will didn't even understand what a crush was so he ignored it.
His father didn't. It was taboo to mention Mike's name in front of him, he always took it as a personal offence and took his anger out on Will while he was clueless about his reaction.
And while he left his life it was hopeless to think he was the only one in Hawkins who would act that way. Will wasn't stupid, he understood people like him would never be accepted.
His father has only been the first one to show him that reality.
“Do you- do you remember the things dad used to say about me?” it's an awkward question, yet it is inevitable for him not to think about it right now.
“That man was a disgrace of a husband and a disappointment of a father, his words had and never will have any value”
“But he was right I mean not entirely of course it's just, I'm not like the others, I'm different” he can't stop his own tears, however, that's hardly his biggest concern so he doesn't try to hide them.
“Will” his mother starts while giving him a comforting hug, the touch is warm and it gives him the strength to know he is not alone, and he's not being forced to do this, he just wants to be honest with a person who loves him unconditionally.
“There is nothing wrong with being different, and whatever this is I promise you it doesn't change who you are. You're still the most wonderful, kind and strong person I know and I couldn't be prouder of being your mother”.
She knows a voice in his head screams, even so it's not a frightening though, quite the opposite, it gives him peace.
He smiles and cries on her shoulder, with a feeling of relief he didn't believe was possible a few seconds ago.
It took him a while to fully calm down and find his voice again, once he does he let Joyce go so he can look into her eyes.
“I'm gay and” he pauses unsure if he should the say the whole truth, although he tries to follow his own advice
Like ripping off a bandage.
“There is someone I like, that's how I realized”.
He still lowered his voice at the last part since, frankly, it's a bit embarrassing to confess but her mother's expression doesn't change, there is not a single amount of disgust or hate behind his eyes, she is still smiling at him.
And for the first time in what could been a decade, Will is happy to admit it, he never thought saying those words out loud would mean anything but it does. It's him accepting something he always tried to hide, it's him fully trusting someone, it's getting rid of a weight on his shoulders.
It makes him feel seen and for one perfect moment, the time freezes and he can't even remember why he was so scared to begin with.
That's it until he hears someone's steps behind the door. They were clumsy, like this person couldn't properly walk in a straight line. Against his will, Will turns around only to find out the last person he expected.
Then again he should have expected this.
“I'm sorry, I just wanted to tell something about Hopper and it doesn't really matter now-”
It almost sounds like a lie although that would hardly be the case, more like Mike was behind the door for a little longer than he's willing to admit yet someone he chose to enter the room.
He could have left.
He could wait a bit more to walk in.
But he didn't, which only means he heard and he didn't run away from Will.
It's an odd conclusion and to be honest it's probably just Will's brain doing some acrobatics and overthinking this whole situation.
“Look Mike could you give us just a moment here-”
“No” Will's tongue interrupts before he can process his own words.
Perhaps it's the apocalypse around the corner, or simply he just wants to put an end to this.
Whatever is he finds himself asking the one question he never thought of addressing in this scenario.
“I mean, can we talk please?”
Mike doesn't say anything in return but he's already walking inside so he can be next to Will.
That's a yes.
Joyce gives him a subtle look as if asking if he is sure about this, like she knew who he was talking about even if Will never intended to mention Mike's name.
And honestly Will doesn't know what possesses him to answer with a nod but it's enough to her mother to give them some privacy.
She closes the door on her way out and suddenly the silence between them it's impossible to ignore.
Will, however, doesn't want to prolong his torture for that long.
“So, you hear?” Stupid question sure, yet he wants the confirmation.
Mike looking at everything but him it's enough to answer.
“I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Hopper sent me to find Joyce and I thought she would be here but then I also listen to you and I knew you were crying and I mean I wasn't spying or anything, alright maybe a little I guess you can be mad at me, I just wanted to be sure you were fine and then-”
It's a lot of explanation and it's spoken at an unusual speed for Mike's standards, it's adorable in a way that only Will would appreciate.
“How much?”
That stops Mike's rambling and he seems a little ashamed to answer.
“Just the last part”.
They stay in silence again and it's somehow more uncomfortable than before, Will doubts what he should say next and he wondered if Robin felt this way when she was coming out to Steve.
Except that may not be a fair comparison, since Robin wasn't in love with Steve when she was saying all this, that kinda beats the whole point.
Now that he thinks about it, it may not have been a bad idea to talk about this with Steve or at least to know how he reacted, it would have given him an idea of how to interpret Mike's language right now. Technically Will is relatively good at reading people, however Mike has always been an exception to, well to everything actually, so to summarize, Will has no idea of what Mike is thinking right now and someone that's worse than any rejection.
He was ready for the hate, not for the uncertainty.
“I'm sorry” Mike says after days, or hours, or just a couple of minutes.
“What? No, I don't want your pity”. Not from you and not from anyone.
“What are you- no, Will no, it's just remember that fight, before you moved to Lerona?”
It's not my fault you don't like girls.
How could he forget?
“Yeah”
“Well, what I said, I was an asshole, I should have never said that”.
Oh.
“Yeah that hurt a lot, I was just barely figuring myself out so-”
“And I should have been there for you, you shouldn't have been alone but I was busy being the worst friend ever”
“You didn't know”
“That's not the point!”
Mike sighs, surprised but his own anger.
“I shouldn't be doing this about myself, it's just, I can't believe I was so cruel to you, and I'm sorry, Will I hope you can forgive me”.
This is-, certainly not how Will expected to have this conversation and somehow it's more chaotic.
“I forgave you a long time ago so you don't need to worry”.
Mike finally seems to relax a little and he moves closer to Will, as if only now he was allowed to do it.
“How did you know?” He asks after none of them dared to say anything about that fight.
“What?”
“You, you mentioned that, that's how you discovered that you are gay so…” Mike hesitates at the end probably a little scared of asking the wrong question or to say something stupid he will regret, Will understand that, although he supposes it's going to take a while to get used to hear that word and not automatically assume he's being insulted, he rarely, if ever, heard it outside of a negative context.
“Yeah that happened”.
“So?”
“So?”
“Well how did you know? I mean how were you so sure it wasn't just friendship?”
Will isn't sure if he wants to talk about this, actually scratch that, he definitely doesn't want to, the situation was getting embarrassing enough already. Unfortunately, there's something in Mike's tone that goes beyond mere curiosity, Will can't describe it, yet somehow it's enough to not completely avoid the question.
“It wasn't that hard I mean, this person has always been special to me. And it started as a friendship, but he was something else you know? He made me feel like I'm not a mistake for being different, he has always been there for me you know”.
Mike's stare, which was initially focused on the floor, moves directly to his eyes and Will knows exactly what he is thinking. Then again he wasn't even being subtle.
How obvious? He asked Robin once, she would probably laugh now.
And laugh does Will want. He thought this would be harder, he was convinced of Mike's hate as soon as he knew. Yet there is not the slightest sign of despise on his glaze. Mike is genuinely listening to every word he confessed.
For a brief moment he wonders…
“Why do you ask?”
Mike moves closer even when that didn't seem possible, he moves his hand with doubt until it lands over Will's own.
“Remember the day El and I broke up?”
Will is astonished by the sudden change of topic yet he nods anyway.
“Well, I never told you the whole story. Things between us had been completed for a while, you are aware of that, and even after I told her I loved her, it didn't feel real. Don't get me wrong, I do, I really do, just not the way she expected.” There is a quiet pause, like Mike is struggling to continue, Will doesn't dare to interrupt it.
“So, I went to talk to her and thank her for the painting and she had no idea what I was talking about, and it was after I said that you gave it to me that she realized that we couldn't be together”.
That was news to him. Sure everyone knew about the break up but Will never suspected he could somehow be involved.
He feels terrible.
“I'm sorry Mike, I never wanted this to happen”.
“I was confused too” Mike gave a sad laugh “until I remember what she mentioned in one of her letters”.
Mike's left hand moves to his face with care before Mike keeps going, Will can't move.
“She didn't know what the painting was about because you never let anyone get closer to it, it was a secret so El assumed there was someone you liked”.
Will is sobbing now, and he wants to run because if this means Mike put the pieces together months ago.
“Then I thought about all the beautiful words you said on that van. Will, you never say something you don't mean, you couldn't have made up something like that, you were being serious, but you weren't talking about El, were you?”
There is no malice or judgement in his voice.
“Mike stop please” Will was trying his best not to break down even more “I didn't plan alright? I didn't choose to fall for my best friend but I did, and I knew you were with El and I hated myself because I wanted you to be happy, both of you so I tried to get over you but I couldn't and I know if I can”.
Because for him was not just a crush, he was his strength, the one that notice every little detail about him, the one that told him Hawkins wasn't the same without him even after they had fought the day before.
The one that was getting dangerously close to him.
“Will, I get it”.
And it was the only warning he got before Mike finally closed the distance between them with a kiss.
It was shy, barely a contact of lips but it was real and when it was over, when Mike was about to pull back, Will didn't give him the chance. He took Mike by the neck and it was enough confirmation for him, Mike kissed him again, more confident this time.
And it was different, before it had been like Mike was testing the waters for both of them, now? Mike kissed him like he’d been waiting lifetimes for this exact moment.
It was a shared secret they both finally allowed to be honest with each other.
Will couldn't breathe, couldn't believe this was happening and there were like a thousand of questions he wanted to ask, yet for the moment he only wanted to freeze time and forget about everything else.
When they finally moved away they were just looking at each other.
Mike was blushing and he probably mirrored him.
So this really happened.
This is happening.
“Mike?”
He needs to know.
“I was mad when you moved to California” are the first words that left his mouth.
“I was mad because I rarely found the courage to call you even when I missed you every day. I was mad because you never left my mind and I didn't understand why so at the airport I just pushed you away because it was safer than accepting whatever the fuck that was going on and I-”
“Hey, I need you to breathe” because Mike has never been the best at expressing his feelings, he could be impulsive, he could be scared so Will wants to help, because he was also there once.
“I just didn't know how to get you off my mind or if I wanted to do it in the first place and at some point I started wondering if this was normal but none of this happened with Dustin or Lucas so-”
Mike sights and that's enough to explain everything.
“It felt wrong loving you, it felt even worse to push you away. Was it like this for you?”
“Not quite. Loving you was just as natural as breathing”.
“You can't say that after you planned to get over me”.
“I never knew how. I just couldn't imagine a life without you on it”.
Mikes gives him the most sincere smile ever, and it's powerful enough that Will would kill Venca right then and there just to see it again.
“So, we were dancing around each other?”
“I was certain you would never love me back”.
“I thought I was being delusional”.
“Seriously?”
“You're nice to everyone I thought I was over thinking it”.
They both laugh and it's unreal how natural all of this is, there was no hate or pain, it was them talking with no filters.
And for the first time ever Will felt complete.