Chapter Text
“...but You- you don’t love me anymore?”
“From Mike, From Mike, From Mike”
“Friends don’t lie.”
Mike woke up in cold sweat, it’s not like he had gotten any sleep in the first place. The van was jostling and tossing him around like loose change in the washing machine. He looked over to his right, Will was asleep, or at least he looked like he was, their government issued babysitter was still dead, but why would he not be, he had been for hours already, they wouldn’t be at the junkyard until sunrise and Mike had no idea what time it was.
Glancing up at the front seat he could just barely make out the glow of the small clock on the console reading 5:20, it would be sunrise soon, he decided he wouldn’t be going back to sleep. It’s not like he could have if he tried.
Mike tilted his head to the window and looked out, he couldn’t really see anything other than the passing darkness and the smallest bit of brush right off to the side. They must have been hours out from Lenora by now. This was probably the first time he was able to think in hours, his mind couldn’t help but travel back to the day before. The fight he had with El, it made him wince, “Care,” the way her voice had cracked, “...but You- you don’t love me anymore?” And he kept lying to her, swearing that he told her when he knew he didn’t.
The truth was he didn’t know whether he truly did love her anymore, of course he loved her, but did he love her? That thought kept circulating through his mind, “You never say it.” she said almost sobbing, “I say it,” he responded, his mind clouded with fake confidence, “You can’t even write it Mike.” She was right, he couldn’t, he never did. Of course when he was the one lying he had the audacity to call her ridiculous, if only he hadn’t said that, maybe they would be okay, maybe he would know if she was okay. So why? Why couldn’t he say that he loved her, if he did then surely he wouldn’t have any sort of issue saying it, and this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. Did he love her? He couldn’t find the answer and all that did was anger him.
He slammed his hand against the van’s small windowsill, catching Argyle’s attention, “That you little Jon?” he asked in his semi-present state of voice that Mike had never heard him without in his short time here. He called Will, “Little Jon”? The prospect was funny, Will wasn’t a little version of Jonathan, he was his own person, he had his own interests and his own hobbies. Mike knew almost everything about Will, what music he liked, The Clash, that maybe was the one thing he and his brother had in common. All his drawings, Jonathan was not an artist, not in that way, he was a photographer, completely different. Will was the biggest nerd ever, and sure his brother was, but not in the same way, Will was the same kind of nerd that Mike was, dreaming of high fantasy adventures over mountains, through dungeons, across the seas, with your friends, your party, fighting monsters and bonding over their shared victories.
Sometimes Mike wished that he and Will were characters in some D&D adventure traveling together with the party. Laying down together in some forest around a fire, making sure that he kept them safe, the paladin, keeping them safe. Keeping Will safe. Sometimes he wished that maybe it could just go back to being him and Will, together, Mike the Brave and Will the Wise. Such cheesy names, but they brought the two of them comfort, a version of them that was all that they could be. He and Will had come up with those names when they were around seven or eight, playing in the woods near the castle that Will and his brother had built. Going on imaginary adventures, chasing squirrels into bushes, pretending that random noises were evil monsters they had to vanquish. It was a time where Mike felt the most carefree he had ever felt in his life. He was always Will’s protector when they were young, whether it was defending him against imaginary monsters or Troy’s insults; he knew that Will needed him and Will did too, but after everything happened he wasn’t so sure anymore. Sure Will probably needed him, but not in the same way. Will had experienced such horrible things all alone, things Mike couldn’t protect him from, he didn’t need that protection anymore, so did he even need Mike anymore? At least Mike knew one thing.
He needed Will, he had missed him, he really realized that after finally visiting, nothing had been the same until he got to California. Seeing Will it was like everything was right again, he didn’t feel that when he saw El, of course he felt happy when he saw her, but when he saw Will. It was too much, he had to hide it, he didn’t want to appear too excited to see him, he just knew that it would seem weird. Maybe it wouldn’t have, he should have just been excited to see Will right to his face instead of blowing him off. Maybe with Will it’s different, maybe unlike with El, he-
“Little duuuuuude?” Argyle said in an almost sing-songy voice, Mike was brought back into reality, awkwardly blurting out, “Not him, just me,” there was a moment of silence before Argyle started up, “You doing good my dude? Like if you’re not feeling well or something, cause of all the crazy shit that just went on with that dead dude back there, I got some stuff that could help you know, it’s Purple Palm Tree Delight, it’s good stuff dude, it really helps with…” Mike cut him off, sounding shocked, “Wha- No! I don’t want your pot.” Argyle held up his one hand that wasn’t on the wheel, “Just saying dude, if you're thinking too much and ya wanna stop…” Mike shook his head, “Absolutely not.” Argyle made a grunt of defeat before focusing back on the road.
Mike continued to stare out the window, his mind drifting elsewhere yet again. He found himself thinking about Hawkins, about what on earth his friends were doing right now. Were Dustin, Lucas and Max okay? Was Nancy in trouble? Would the rest of his family be fine? They were all in some sort of danger and he couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t be there with them to help, it ate at him, knowing that he couldn’t be there to protect them, knowing he left right before more shit just went down, knowing his friends would have no way to contact them or find them and that they would be equally as worried, and it doubly worried him that somewhere else, in Alaska, Joyce was probably worried about them non-stop, and had even likely called to no avail and would come home to a gunned down, abandoned home thinking her family had been taken or worse. What a great situation to be in, at least there was one person he could protect and that person was a foot away from him. He was glad that he and Will had rekindled their relationship, because even if he had tried to call him every day and had endless drafts of unsent letters, he hadn’t been the best at keeping up with him, neither of them had been, so knowing that they were still friends really helped. Even if he couldn’t help the others, at least he was there for Will. And they were going to save El too, so he would also be able to protect her, but did she need that? Did anyone need his protection anymore, did anyone ever need it? Maybe Will did, but he seemed to have done fine here in California. Even if he was here for Will and El, did they need him? The thought terrified him. If El didn’t need him then would she stick around him after this? If Will didn’t need him would he leave him alone? Mike couldn’t lose him again. Even if Will was okay, even if he would be fine without him Mike couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, of losing them not again. They were his best friends, his favorite people, ever since he met them, maybe the way he felt about them hadn’t been too different after all. Maybe his waning feelings for El weren’t waning after all, maybe they were never for her in the first place.
“Stop.” He found himself saying that out loud, he had been thinking too much again. He needed to not be alone with his thoughts anymore. He looked back at Will, the morning light now filtering through the windows and landing softly on his face, he stared at him almost in awe, he slept so peacefully, despite how horrible the last day had been, despite all the stuff that happened, despite the fact that there was a dead body a few inches from the two of them. Will was amazing, the feelings Mike felt when he looked at them were always so confusing, but maybe now, maybe now was the time that he finally began to understand why.
He turned back to the window, staring back out at the desert as the light danced across the rocks. The window was facing east, he knew because of the soft yellow glow that shone from behind the mountains, blending into the dark blue sky above, the blue slowly getting brighter in a gradient as he followed it back down the glowing yellow horizon. He couldn’t help but find it beautiful. Many feelings sparked in his brain, right now everything felt bleak, but right now was the time for the sun to rise on this new adventure, just as it had once again for him and Will the day before. Somehow, seeing this view told him that, whatever happened in the next few days, they would be okay. Will would be okay, Eleven would be okay. He would be okay.
“Thanks by the way,”
“For what?”
“For knocking some sense into me, I mean I was being a total self-pitying idiot.”
“I didn’t say it.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Much more pleasant words rang through his head now, like a mantra. It brought him a modicum of much needed comfort. Finally talking with Will the day before had really helped him, it had felt so different from that fight with El, with her it was like they hadn’t talked or seen each other in years despite constantly exchanging letters and gifts, but with Will it felt like they had been in contact and were always talking despite not really even speaking to each other for more than half a year. Weird how that worked he thought. All Mike did know was that only God knew what today would bring, hopefully a place to once again have a chat with Will, maybe it could help him process his feelings more too, especially with how he feels about him, and he hoped it would also bring a place to dump the dead body laying right next to him as it was beginning to stink and the smell was anything but pleasant. The only memory it brought back being that of the tunnels under Hawkins which was, in sharp contrast to the stunning view before him, was not the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, or in this context smelled. The smell wasn’t even the worst part because if he looked over all he could think about was every other time he had watched someone die, or seen a dead body and those memories were not pleasant either, the lab, Billy, everything. Once his eyes began wandering away from Will and down to the man’s body he craned his head up and back out the window.
It only took about another minute for Will to wake up, they didn’t talk. It was much too awkward with there being a dead guy in between them, though he was sure they would once they could get rid of the body. As thoughts of what to say when they finally did get a chance to talk raced through his mind, Mike didn’t notice them pulling off the road into some junkyard, this must be it, this was where they’d dump their former babysitter’s body, this is where that beautiful sunrise was leading him to. Mike was anything but ecstatic. Even less so when he had to haul the body out of the van and into the ditch where all the junk was, even less when he had to pull out a shovel and start digging, and even less when Will caught him staring.
He didn’t even know why he was staring, but he did know that he looked back at least twice which was not necessarily normal when getting caught staring at someone. At least there was no more corpse, Mike had definitely had enough of seeing people die right in front of him.