Work Text:
Timbirb: I want a baby
Konsequence: your son just set the ceiling on fire
Timbirb: Our son, and don’t avoid my message
Timbirb: I want a baby
Konsequence: you have a baby he’s literally at home right now
Timbirb: Callum is 3, that’s not a baby
Konsequence: sounds like one to me
Timbirb: No he’s a toddler, that’s different
Konsequence: is it
Timbirb: Yes!! I want a baby and Callum is not a baby, he’s a full person with his own ideas and feelings and views towards the world
Konsequence: he also has uncontrollable lightning powers
Timbirb: We’re working on that!
Konsequence: exactly working on
Konsequence: as in still needs work as in not safe for a baby to be around
Timbirb: Bart can just rewind time if anything horrible happens, it’s fine
Konsequence: oh my god that should not be your take away
Timbirb: too late already is
Konsequence: i’m going to lose it how did i become the responsible one in this relationship
Timbirb: I could be responsible
Timbirb: If I had a baby
Painbabyy: No baby
Timbirb: But
Painbabby: No buts
Timbirb: :(((((((
Konsequence: why won’t you argue with B?
Timbirb: I can’t win against him
Timbirb: Besides he’s not as fun to bicker with
Konsequence: thank you?
Painbabyy: It’s a compliment, that’s how Tim’s dad showed him how to love
Timbirb: Papa and Abba aren’t that bad
Konsequence: didn’t your Abba set a warehouse your Papa owned on fire because your Papa went out to lunch with his ex? like last week
Timbirb: It was a reasonable response
Konsequence: i
BartToTheFuture: your dads are weird Tim
BartToTheFuture: also the fire is out but Callum looks like he’s about to throw another tantrum help
Konsequence: not it
Painbabyy: Not it
Timbirb: No fair, I’m the one actually at work
Painbabyy: You’re sitting in a coffee shop hoping you’ll hear some interesting gossip. That’s not work
Konsequence: He’s your son, deal with it
Timbirb: our son
Timbirb: Also stop stalking me B
Painbabyy: No
Painbabyy: Come collect our child
Timbirb: Ugh fine
Timbirb: At least you called him our child and not just mine
Painbabyy: Well I am the other name on the adoption certificate
BartToTheFuture: you didn’t even tell Kon and i you were getting a kid until after it happened
Konsequence: hence not my son
Timbirb: You’re going to give him a complex if you keep denying him
Konsequence: maybe you should have thought of that before bringing a baby home
Timbirb: I knew you would say no
Timbirb: Like you’re doing now :((((((
Konsequence: you wanted to steal a baby off the street
Timbirb: And I would have if Bernard didn’t set us up for adoption
Painbabyy: I know how to handle my husband
BartToTheFuture: gay
Timbirb: Bart we’ve been married like 6 years
Konsequence: we’ve been together for 8 years
BartToTheFuture: i know i’m bad at math but i don’t think i’m 22
Konsequence: okay you know what
Timbirb: You’re not love, you’re 27
BartToTheFuture: oh sick
Konsequence: i was talking about how long the four of us have been together not just me and Bart
BartToTheFuture: you should really be more specific
Konsequence: i’m going to mcfucking lose it
Painbabyy: Please make sure you’re away from the apartment if you do, we don’t need Callum getting ideas
Timbirb: Hey speaking of our son, who’s watching him?
BartToTheFuture: oh shit
BartToTheFuture: g2g, love you bye
Konsequence: i swear if there’s a second fire today i’m suing
Timbirb: Our son????
Konsequence: no, you and Bernard for emotional distress
Painbabyy: Fair
Timbirb: lol jokes on you, you can’t sue your husband
Konsequence: lol jokes on you, in the eyes of the law only Bart is my husband suck it
Timbirb: shit
Timbirb: Can you give me a ride home so I can avoid this suing?
Konsequence: fine, but afterwards i’m taking Bernard and we’re going to go make out somewhere
Timbirb: Fine, but you have to kiss me before you leave
Konsequence: fine
Painbabyy: Do I get a say in this?
Konsequence: no
Painbabyy: Yeah okay
Painbabyy: I have to be at the club by 8 though, non negotiable
Konsequence: that gives me several hours, i can work with that
Painbabyy: Great, I’ll pack us some snacks and meet you outside
Konsequence: thank you love you see you soon bye
Timbirb: Okay but consider
Painbabyy: No, Tim
Timbirb: I didn’t say anything yet
Painbabyy: You’re about to bring up having a baby again
Timbirb: Is it so wrong for me to want things?
Painbabyy: When those things include children we have no room for, yes it is.
Timbirb: I hate it here :(((((((
BartToTheFuture: why don’t you just go visit your brother didn’t he just have a kid
Timbirb: Finn is almost 2 years old
BartToTheFuture: huh time flies
Timbirb: They also live in Bludhaven and you know I don’t have patience for that traffic
Konsequence: we know, that’s why Bart or i take you everywhere you spoiled brat
Timbirb: Thanks I learned from my Abba
Konsequence: it wasn’t a compliment
Timbirb: Weird because it felt like one
Painbabyy: Can y’all argue about this later? I still have 2 hours of kissing time on my clock
BartToTheFuture: yeah kissing ;))))))))))
Konsequence: we’re not having sex on a rooftop
Timbirb: Lame
BartToTheFuture: booooo
BartToTheFuture: when did you get boring
Konsequence: i’m boring because i don’t want to have public sex???
BartToTheFuture: you don’t want to have it anymore
Konsequence: i literally never have???
Timbirb: Really? Because I’m pretty sure Steph told me in graphic detail about finding you in Titans Tower and you were not in a bedroom
Konsequence: oh my god that was one time and it was a mistake
BartToTheFuture: for you maybe
BartToTheFuture: i was staking claim
Konsequence: to me or the kitchen????
Painbabyy: Oh my god you had sex in the Titans kitchen?????
BartToTheFuture: both
Konsequence: listen,,,, we hadn’t seen each other in like a month
Konsequence: do you know how long that is when you haven’t been apart from your soulmate since you came into existence at 15
BartToTheFuture: a long time when you hear the new kids saying your partner looks hot and they “would”
Konsequence: IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
BartToTheFuture: yes
BartToTheFuture: i was pissed
Timbirb: Bart is cute when he gets jealous, his light is making like angry orange daggers
BartToTheFuture: kon is my spouse they can’t have them
Konsequence: i love you so much marry me
BartToTheFuture: i love you too but i think we did that already
Konsequence: marry me again
BartToTheFuture: okay bet
Painbabyy: Excuse me, you’re mine right now
Painbabyy: Get tf over here or I’m giving Tim another baby
Timbirb: *gasps* No Kon, you should come home
Konsequence: not happening i’m leaving goodbye
Timbirb: :((((((
BartToTheFuture: would you like goldfish in this trying time
Timbirb: Why are you eating goldfish, it’s dinner time
BartToTheFuture: hahaha yes the snack goldfish
BartToTheFuture: not. not like the kind you keep in a tank
BartToTheFuture: nope not that at all
Timbirb: What did you do?
BartToTheFuture: nothing! just uh don’t come into the living room
Timbirb: Kon is going to kill us
Painbabyy: I’m at work
Timbirb: Me too you’re not special
Painbabyy: No let me finish my story, I need to set the scene
Timbirb: Sorry continue
Painbabyy: I’m at work. Front of house, doing my little host duties because Tim got his dad’s ability to small talk and somehow not his Abba’s
Timbirb: Tism
Painbabyy: Yes
Painbabyy: Anyways. The club is busy, it’s always busy because we know how to run a damn successful business, but that also means I don’t get a lot of time to stop
Painbabyy: And y’all know this. You know I’m busy and if you need something, it might have to wait but text me so I can quickly read it
Painbabyy: So, pray tell, why the fuck did I just get a 2 minute voice memo from Connor that is just them sobbing and making the equivalent sound of a key smash, while Bart in the background goes “It’s not that bad”
Timbirb: Jesus fuck
Konsequence: HE BOUGHT A FISH TANK
Konsequence: ITS NOT EVEN A SMALL ONE IT TAKES UP LIKE HALF THE LIVING ROOM
Konsequence: THIS APARTMENT IS ALREADY SMALL AND NOW WE HAVE F I S H
Konsequence: I CANNOT STOP CRYING WHY DID HE THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA
BartToTheFuture: tim wanted a baby :(
Timbirb: *still wants a baby
Konsequence: HOW ARE THOSE RELATED
BartToTheFuture: callum and i thought if we got a pet, maybe tim could use his paternal instincts on that instead
Konsequence: YOU CONSULATED OUR TODDLER
Timbirb: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Timbirb: you called him ours
Konsequence: NOT THE POINT
Timbirb: It is to me
BartToTheFuture: you and bernard were busy who was i supposed to ask
BartToTheFuture: i still think it’s a solid idea
Konsequence: WHY FISH
Konsequence: AND WHY SUCH A BIG TANK
BartToTheFuture: stop yelling at me :((((((
BartToTheFuture: our apartment is too small for a dog, tim is allergic to cats, and that’s how much space you’re supposed to give them
Konsequence: i fucking hate it here
Timbirb: I think it’s a sweet gesture
Konsequence: of course you do, you’re not the one who will have to take care of them
Painbabyy: Neither will you Kon, sit down please
Painbabyy: Bart, please don’t make decisions like this in the future without consulting at least one adult
BartToTheFuture: can we keep the fish though
Konsequence: he can’t see you batting your eyelashes at the phone
Painbabyy: It’s implied
Painbabyy: But yes, we can keep them
BartToTheFuture: yes!!!!
Painbabyy: But please don’t cry if Callum electrocutes them with a tantrum
BartToTheFuture: O-O
BartToTheFuture: i didn’t think about that
Konsequence: don’t do this B, we’re losing so much valuable space
Painbabyy: Too late
Timbirb: You know we could fix that if we just moved
Timbirb: We could go somewhere that has loads of space for fish
Timbirb: And other things…
BartToTheFuture: more fish
Timbirb: No a baby :(
BartToTheFuture: oh
BartToTheFuture: i like my answer better
Konsequence: i refuse to move i will not be the only one doing the heavy lifting just because i can use my powers
Painbabyy: Yes because it would be so hard for you
Painbabyy: We will talk about this later. Those of us with a real job need to work.
Timbirb: Yeah us with the real jobs have things to do
Painbabyy: You’re on thin ice Tim, don’t push it
Timbirb: Yes sir sorry
Painbabyy: Asshole
Painbabyy: I love you
Timbirb: !!!! I love you too!!
Konsequence: wait a second
Konsequence: why tf does being a criminal count as a real job but not being a superhero??
BartToTheFuture: i mean we do kind of slack hard on the whole hero part
Konsequence: sure but that’s why there’s so many of us. the kids get to run out their energy doing the small jobs and we step in when it’s important
Konsequence: we are literally part of the justice league now i think that’s a real job
Timbirb: Okay several things
Timbirb: One. How fucking dare you diminish what I do to just “being a criminal” like I’m some common street rat getting arrested for petty crimes by the GCPD.
Timbirb: I fucking run this city, okay? This is my Gotham, I worked hard for this position, no one gave it to me, I had to topple my own Abba for this, do you know how hard that was emotionally for me?
Konsequence: i still think you overreacted slightly, the man did tell you to do it
Timbirb: Well you can think what you want and be wrong.
BartToTheFuture: i think you’re sleeping on the couch tonight
Timbirb: Don’t push your luck or you will too
BartToTheFuture: no i’m on your side babe
BartToTheFuture: please don’t make me the fish are scary in the dark
Konsequence: oh my god
Timbirb: Apology accepted, but I’m sleeping in the middle
BartToTheFuture: sold
Timbirb: Anyway, as I was saying before someone rudely interrupted me
Timbirb: I do a hell of a lot of work to keep my position in this city and keep things under control. Not to mention the fact I run my own fucking nightclub
Timbirb: And Bernard might do all of the front of house stuff, which is so much we could not keep The Den open without him
Timbirb: But I know numbers. I do the finances. I supply the connections even if B does the talking. That is in fact also a real job
Timbirb: And all of that me and B do? That’s what brings in the money, that’s how we keep living.
Timbirb: Tell me seriously. How much do you make superheroing?
Konsequence: it’s not about the money, it’s about helping people
BartToTheFuture: we get free swag sometimes which is pretty sick
BartToTheFuture: also sometimes we make bets but besides that nothing
Timbirb: Exactly
Timbirb: Don’t take this as me being mean, loves, it is simply a fact. You two don’t have real jobs. Without B and I, you would be broke as shit
Timbirb: You don’t even go on missions all that often anymore. If you were doing the nightly patrols that the bane of my existence Cassandra and the rest of her ridiculous Batfamily does, maybe you would have a case
Timbirb: Most of the time you spend one day or night a week manning the watch tower and then every so often you disappear on a mission for a month
Timbirb: You do contract work, in simple terms. Which is fine but it’s like part time at best
BartToTheFuture: he has a point kon
Konsequence: you do know we can’t patrol Gotham because of the bats and their stupid no meta rule right?
BartToTheFuture: that rule never made sense to me, like the daytime guy is literally a meta
BartToTheFuture: also cassie is like half god or something and she’s literally dating the main bat
BartToTheFuture: there’s also more meta villains here than not meta villains so you would think they would want the help
Timbirb: Jason said he’s pretty sure Bruce started that rule just to spite Clark, and now I think Cassandra is keeping it up to spite me
Timbirb: Also it’s really easy to fall into crime in Gotham and they don’t want to take any chances that some idiot with powers would switch sides and become their problem
Konsequence: damn i also like to spite Clark i cant even argue with that
BartToTheFuture: but why does the yellow one get a pass still
Timbirb: Honestly? No fucking clue but he’s chill enough so I’m not going to push it
Painbabyy: No, you won’t push it because the last time you tried Cass jumped you and she scares the shit out of you when she’s angry
Timbirb: She got to be Batman for a reason, she’s literally terrifying angry
Konsequence: isn’t she always angry when you meet?
Timbirb: Nah, me and Cassandra have a thing. I’m the only one who can match her in battle, she’s the only one who match me in strategy. We fight and we bicker and sometimes I win and sometimes she wins, she stops me from doing something and I escape, we’re basically playing chess and both of us are enjoying the stalemate
BartToTheFuture: kind of sounds like you’re in a relationship
Timbirb: ew
Timbirb: never say that again
Painbabyy: Please don’t, they’re basically twins
Painbabyy: You should watch them fight, they’re like mirror images of each other in a way that’s creepy
Timbirb: :(
Konsequence: maybe that’s why Steph is dating her
Timbirb: I
Timbirb: I don’t know what to do with that information goodbye
Konsequence: lol got em
Painbabyy: You’re the one sleeping on the couch. You won nothing here
Konsequence: spoil sport
Timbirb: Are you dating Cass because she’s basically my twin?
SpoiledRotten: Hello to you too, Tim. How is your night?
Timbirb: Bart got us fish and Connor is sleeping on the couch, but otherwise pretty okay
SpoiledRotten: what do you mean, “Bart got us fish”
Timbirb: Half of our living room is basically a fish tank, I’ll send you photos later I’m at the club right now
SpoiledRotten: Sorry for your loss
Timbirb: Thanks, I’m pretty sure Callum is going to electrocute them before long so I’m ready for him to cry
SpoiledRotten: Callum?
Timbirb: No Bart
SpoiledRotten: That does track
SpoiledRotten: Also what the fuck was that question you started with?
Timbirb: B was comparing Cass and I and said we’re basically mirrors when we fight
SpoiledRotten: Accurate
Timbirb: And then Kon, who is just on something tonight, went “maybe that’s why Steph is dating her”
Timbirb: And now here we are
SpoiledRotten: I hate you so much for bringing that up
SpoiledRotten: Like no? Absolutely not? There was a whole soulmate triangle that led us here
SpoiledRotten: But also like… is that why I fell for her? Do I have a fucking type?? Did you give me a complex when you dumped me???
Timbirb: Okay first off you dumped me, I was still willing to be in that relationship
SpoiledRotten: You literally did not love me you idiot, we were just friends who occasionally kissed
Timbirb: You say that like the kissing wasn’t fun
SpoiledRotten: eh, 7/10
Timbirb: RUDE
Timbirb: I’m glad we broke up
SpoiledRotten: Me too, I got my girlfriends and they’re way better than you
Timbirb: Well I have the OT4 and we’re infinitely cooler then you three could ever be
SpoiledRotten: You wish
Timbirb: Oh I know
SpoiledRotten: You and I are about to fight, you whore
Timbirb: Bring it bitch, you haven’t beat me yet
SpoiledRotten: I took you out with a brick the first time we met.
Timbirb: That was cheating and doesn’t count. Especially because you freaked tf out
SpoiledRotten: I’m throwing another brick at you, idgaf
Timbirb: Kay, but I hope you’re ready to deal with the OT4 and my family
Timbirb: Abba might be mostly retired but he will not hesitate to come after you if it comes down to it
SpoiledRotten: I could take that old man
Timbirb: You sure about that?
SpoiledRotten: Yes but also don’t tell him I said that
Timbirb: idk I kind of feel like I should. I mean if you could take him, it shouldn’t be a problem
SpoiledRotten: Yeah but like I don’t want to embarrass him you know? It would hurt his old man feelings because he’d know it’s the truth
Timbirb: mhmm, I think you’re just scared he will kill you
SpoiledRotten: What? Pshh, no way. I mean, I’m Batwoman, no one can kill me I’m
Timbirb: …
SpoiledRotten: Okay fine maybe I’m a little scared
Timbirb: As you should be
SpoiledRotten: You can’t tell him that either
Timbirb: Ugh. Fine
Timbirb: But you owe me
SpoiledRotten: What do you want
Timbirb: I need you to be my backup and help convince my spouses that we should get a baby
SpoiledRotten: Okay firstly, don’t phrase it that way it’s not going to help your case
Timbirb: Nothing helps my case :(
SpoiledRotten: Secondly this is definitely something I shouldn’t be involved in, but I want to see if your next child also develops freaky powers so I’m in
Timbirb: It’s not my fault if they do
SpoiledRotten: Fascinating you jumped to that, has someone been accusing you of things?
Timbirb: Cassandra thinks I did it on purpose
SpoiledRotten: When would you even have that conversation????
Timbirb: We text
Timbirb: Not a lot but enough that things come up
Timbirb: Mostly it’s about our partners because we have an agreement but sometimes other things come up
SpoiledRotten: ?????? Literally how long has this been happening????
Timbirb: 7 years I think?
Timbirb: We need to gush and vent and also be anxious about our partners in peace
Timbirb: Sometimes you need an objective outside perspective to process things.
SpoiledRotten: Jesus fuck you really are like siblings
SpoiledRotten: You really have the “I hate you but also I implicitly trust you” thing down to a tee
Timbirb: Thanks that’s what happens when someone is too much like you
Timbirb: I did tell you that in other universes where we’re on the same side we’re best friends
SpoiledRotten: Yeah but it’s jarring to see it here
SpoiledRotten: I’m never letting her live this down
Timbirb: No you can’t tell her you know or she might stop talking to me!!!! I need someone to talk to about my spouses who gets it, don’t do this to me
SpoiledRotten: ugh fine
SpoiledRotten: I’m going to return to patrol then because I have to distract myself
Timbirb: Okay but don’t forget your promise, I need your support
SpoiledRotten: Yeah yeah, whatever
SpoiledRotten: Call me when you need me and I’ll bring backup
Timbirb: Thank you!!!! 😘😘😘😘😘
SpoiledRotten: gross
Timbirb: Good morning, I want a baby
Konsequence: not this again
Timbirb: Yes this again
Painbabyy: I already said no
Timbirb: But B
Painbabyy: Tim.
Timbirb: Steph thinks it’s a good idea
Painbabyy: Steph isn’t the one who will have to raise them
BartToTheFuture: are my fish not enough for you tim?
Timbirb: No
Timbirb: I can’t cuddle a fish
BartToTheFuture: not with that attitude
Konsequence: you can cuddle the child we already have
Konsequence: or us, we’re an option also and there’s three of us
BartToTheFuture: we give excellent cuddles
Timbirb: It’s not the same :((((
Painbabyy: Darling. What’s really going on here?
Timbirb: Nothing I just want a baby
Painbabyy: Why?
Timbirb: … because babies will love you unconditionally no matter how much you fuck up and no one thinks it’s weird if you hold them a lot because babies like to be close to you and like to be held and I could cuddle them all day and no one would care
Konsequence: *Tim*
Timbirb: hahaha I mean what? No I just want a baby so Callum has siblings hahahaha that’s all
BartToTheFuture: i knew i should have gotten a dog
Konsequence: seriously??
BartToTheFuture: sorry not the important part
Painbabyy: Tim. My darling, my sweetheart, the love of my life
Painbabyy: How long have you been feeling like this?
Timbirb: you mean this time lol
Painbabyy: For the sake of this conversation, yes this time
Timbirb: uhhhhh two weeks maybe?
Konsequence: baby, two weeks??
Timbirb: I mean at least yeah
BartToTheFuture: not the at least 😭😭😭😭😭
Painbabyy: Did something happen, or is this just your brain talking back to you?
Timbirb: I saw my birth parents
Konsequence: what
Timbirb: They didn’t even recognize me. I ran into them on purpose just to see and there was… nothing. No recognition, no “Hey you look like someone I knew”, not even a sorry just an annoyed “watch where you’re going” even though they bumped into me and I helped them pick up their things
Timbirb: And I know it’s been a long time since I left, but idk it just kind of stung. It reminded me of how little they cared about me or paid attention. They moved on from my “death” so fast and never even showed remorse for not being there when it happened.
Timbirb: And then I started thinking about the fact the only reason I have people who love me now is because I forced them to. I stalked Dad until his hand was basically forced, I charmed Abba by being exactly who he wanted
Timbirb: I purposefully set up my meeting with Bernard, and it was my light that attracted him the same way it finally got y’all. We’re here because we’re soulmates but if we weren’t… you would never have glanced at me twice
Timbirb: All of my friends? I stalked them and pushed them until they had to give in and accept me
Timbirb: And all that “love” is tethered to me constantly pushing myself into people’s lives and forcing them to like me and if I just,,, stopped that no one would miss me except a baby because babies rely on their parents for everything until they’re old enough to walk and talk and think and then they’re just another person who won’t love me unless I make them
Painbabyy: oh my love
Painbabyy: Please come back to bed so I can hold you and love you and remind you how much we want you here
Konsequence: i’m coming also
BartToTheFuture: me too
Timbirb: We have a son to take care of
BartToTheFuture: easy i’ll drop him off with his grandparents
Timbirb: No, I don’t want Papa to start worrying about me
Konsequence: take him to Jason and if he asks tell him we’re making a baby
Timbirb: Fuck you can’t make me laugh at a time like this
Konsequence: yes i can, it’s my job
Konsequence: now come back to bed before i carry you here
Timbirb: That’s not the threat you think it is
Timbirb: I’m coming
Konsequence: good
Timbirb: Thank you
Painbabyy: You don’t have to thank us. This is what true love looks like
deadboi: I didn’t consent to this.
deadboi: I told you after last time I was never going to babysit your freak ass child again.
deadboi: I don’t need to hear him talking to the electricity in the walls. I sure as hell don’t need to get shocked back to life again by his lightning.
deadboi: And I definitely don’t need Tobias getting any kind of ideas about trying to follow in his footsteps.
deadboi: I do not want a dead child I have to throw in the pit just because he thinks getting struck by your kids lightning will give him superpowers.
deadboi: You’re not even reading these, What the fuck Timothy.
deadboi: You know what, you’re not even reading these. I’m taking your kid to your parents, I don’t have time for this shit.
deadboi: Tell your speedster if he ever pulls this shit again, I’m going to shoot him. I don’t fucking care if he’s your husband, he can’t just drop your baby and run.
deadboi: Congrats on your new baby though. Hope this one is more of a freak in the way you are and not the way your kid is.
deadboi: Wait no I take that back. Gotham doesn’t need another child stalker in 10 years. Let them be a freak like Bernard, at least he’s just got a pain kink.
deadboi: Hopefully you told your dads about this one first, because I sure as shit am mentioning it when I drop your kid off.
deadboi: You know, because unlike you I plan to do a proper hand off and not just door dash him.
deadboi: Anyway, fuck you Timothy, I’m not free babysitting, and I hope you learn a lesson from this. If you ever read these you asshole.
RiddleMeThis: Timothy Rivia Cobblepot.
RiddleMeThis: Why is your dead friend saying that you’re having a second child?
RiddleMeThis: So help me god, if you adopted another child without telling us first I am going to kill you.
RiddleMeThis: Do you know how insufferable Oswald was for months afterwards? Every time I thought I could get a moment of peace, suddenly he’s off ranting again.
RiddleMeThis: You’re living with him this time, I am not doing that again. Ed graciously decided for both of us to take the bullet for you, but I’m not letting him do that again. You’re old enough to deal with consequences.
RiddleMeThis: I hope this Callum drop off wasn’t your attempt to get me to tell Oswald, that isn’t happening.
RiddleMeThis: I’m taking my grandson and we’re going to test exactly how much power his lightning can generate. If it goes well I have other experiments also, he will be fully entertained the whole day.
RiddleMeThis: I don’t know why I bother keeping you updated if you’re not going to respond.
RiddleMeThis: Fucking ungrateful child.
Konsequence: he’s sleeping
Konsequence: it’s the middle of the day and he’s sleeping this is bad
Painbabyy: It’s not that bad
BartToTheFuture: it feels kind of bad
Konsequence: we’re lucky he sleeps at night tf you mean it’s not that bad
Painbabyy: How do I know our husband better than y’all?
Painbabyy: Tim likes to nap?? He just doesn’t do it because he feels guilty about sleeping when he should be doing things.
Painbabyy: All you have to do is invite him to cuddle because *you* want to nap and he will pass out in literal minutes
Konsequence: no he always refuses????
Painbabyy: Do you ever push him or do you just ask once and give up?
Konsequence: I
BartToTheFuture: i just lay down with callum while he naps this does not apply to me
Painbabyy: Bart I love you
BartToTheFuture: i love you too!!!!!!
Konsequence: wait why is he off the hook
Painbabyy: Because we’re lucky Callum still takes naps and I’m not jinxing it
BartToTheFuture: i also use the “come lay with me i’m tired” method on cal and it works every time
Painbabyy: Sometimes I’m amazed that kid is adopted.
Konsequence: can we go back to the fact Tim sleeps?
Painbabyy: There’s nothing to go back to. Tim likes to nap, you just have to play mind games with him to get there.
Konsequence: that sounds fucked up
Painbabyy: No I think that’s just how relationships work.
BartToTheFuture: are you playing mind games with us to get what you want
Painbabyy: …
Painbabyy: ANYWAY
Konsequence: akajshshgdhs
BartToTheFuture: i should have seen that coming
Konsequence: i cannot believe you just admitted that B, what the fuck
Painbabyy: I started this foursome with mind games, idk what you want from me
Konsequence: you played us?!?!
Painbabyy: Of course I did.
BartToTheFuture: i love how confidently you said that
Painbabyy: Tim had been hiding from y’all for years that he was your soulmate, y’all were hiding the fact you loved him even though you didn’t know he was your soulmate, what did you expect me to do?
Painbabyy: Things had to go down in the right order or Tim would never believe he was actually wanted and y’all would be hurt he had spent so much time hiding, I was the outsider playing the chess game and guess what? I won.
BartToTheFuture: that’s kind of hot ngl
Konsequence: is it?
BartToTheFuture: yes
Konsequence: i’m conflicted personally but go off i guess
Painbabyy: idk what you’re conflicted about, we’re married and have been happily together for 8 years. That sounds like a win to me.
Konsequence: but you manipulated us to get here
Painbabyy: Only a little
Painbabyy: Every relationship needs a little manipulation
Konsequence: you sound like Tim’s abba
Painbabyy: Yeah where do you think I got the advice from?
BartToTheFuture: that tracks
Konsequence: you got relationship advice from someone in a toxic relationship?
Painbabyy: Sure why not?
Painbabyy: Oswald and Edward have been together for a long time, they love each other a lot, they’ve been through horrible things and come out the other side stronger.
Painbabyy: Sounds like the perfect couple to me.
Painbabyy: So what if they’re a little toxic. Aren’t all of us?
Konsequence: no
Painbabyy: mhm You’re right, Bart is too pure for that
BartToTheFuture: i can be toxic >:(
Konsequence: you really can’t
BartToTheFuture: >:((((( i’m going to give tim a baby
Painbabyy: I love that’s your version of being toxic
Konsequence: please don’t we can’t take another child
BartToTheFuture: >>>:) good
Painbabyy: Not a toxic bone in his body, but there is a lot of chaos in there
Konsequence: well they do say short people hold more evil
BartToTheFuture: i am NOT short
BartToTheFuture: you and bernard are giants, i am perfectly average
BartToTheFuture: tim’s the short one he’s only 5’3
Painbabyy: You’re 5’5, sit down
BartToTheFuture: a v e r a g e
Konsequence: nope short
Painbabyy: itty bitty
BartToTheFuture: no!!!!!!
Konsequence: yes!!!!!!
Painbabyy: Fight! Fight! Fight!
Painbabyy: Oh shit you actually launched yourself at Connor, I wasn’t ready
Painbabyy: Oh no, I guess I have to cuddle Tim all alone. This wasn’t my plan at all.
Painbabyy: 😈😈😈
Painbabyy: Evil wins again.
BartToTheFuture: okay but seriously can we give tim a baby
Konsequence: no
Painbabyy: How’s the floor?
Konsequence: cold
BartToTheFuture: im comfy
Konsequence: you’re on top of me
BartToTheFuture: exactly
Painbabyy: You are surprisingly soft for someone who has impenetrable skin and an unnecessary amount of muscles
Konsequence: thank you…?
BartToTheFuture: so baby
Konsequence: yes?
Painbabyy: You called?
BartToTheFuture: we’re too gay that’s not what i meant
Painbabyy: Was that a mournful sigh I heard?
Konsequence: hes doing a little pout also
Painbabyy: Wait I want to see come up here
BartToTheFuture: you!!! can’t distract me like this
BartToTheFuture: okay maybe you can but only a little
BartToTheFuture: i’m not forgetting this!!!!
Konsequence: lol bet
Timbirb: Don’t call me ungrateful, I was having a time™
Timbirb: And then I was having a nap because I was warm and cuddled and had no choice
RiddleMeThis: I’m not telling Oswald you got a second child for you. I don’t care what your excuse is.
Timbirb: I’m fine, by the way. Since I know you’re wondering. I got completely smothered in love until I stopped crying, my spouses take very good care of me.
RiddleMeThis: Who made you cry.
Timbirb: No one
RiddleMeThis: Timothy.
Timbirb: Dad.
RiddleMeThis: Do I need to call Oswald and have him pay a visit? You know how he feels about you lying.
Timbirb: :( I can’t even lie to abba, you know that.
Timbirb: These are dirty tactics
RiddleMeThis: Yes, they are.
RiddleMeThis: You often require the threat of and sometimes follow through of such consequences to admit to even trivial things that are bothering you. I’m not afraid to use them.
Timbirb: You’re worse than Bernard I think.
RiddleMeThis: Good, now stop trying to avoid the subject. This is your last warning.
Timbirb: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
RiddleMeThis: You’re not a teenager anymore Tim, please act like it.
Timbirb: Ouch.
RiddleMeThis: Okay, I’m calling Oswald.
Timbirb: shit no wait
Timbirb: Don’t call abba please
RiddleMeThis: Are you going to tell me who made you cry?
Timbirb: Okay yes fine but please just
Timbirb: try not to overreact
RiddleMeThis: Please. I don’t overreact.
Timbirb: … suuuuuuure
RiddleMeThis: Tim.
Timbirb: Sorry, but you do overreact a lot it’s kind of a thing
RiddleMeThis: Stop stalling.
Timbirb: :(
Timbirb: Okay so uh, like two weeks ago or something I kind of ran into my old parents? And it was weird because they didn’t know me but I thought I could just brush past it because of the amazing family I have now, but it turns out there were feelings I was ignoring and B poked the right way to make them spill out
Timbirb: So like technically Bernard was the one who made me cry, but like my bio parents were the reason I had something to cry about in the first place.
RiddleMeThis: I thought those good for nothing deadbeats left Gotham years ago.
Timbirb: Hahahahaha me too
Timbirb: Turns out, they’re back *jazz hands*.
Timbirb: And uh, according to the news who just loves to talk about rich people like they’re important or something, they like officially moved back so they could try and revive their company which I uh, I definitely have no part in the current downturn of.
RiddleMeThis: I see.
RiddleMeThis: I’ll take care of it. Oswald could use a good project, and you know how he loves to destroy things.
Timbirb: Dad, please don’t kill them.
RiddleMeThis: Kill them? No, no they don’t deserve the mercy of simply being killed.
RiddleMeThis: Between Oswald and I, they’ll wish they were dead by the time we’re done with them.
RiddleMeThis: And then, if they don’t learn their lesson. Then we kill them.
Timbirb: What’s the lesson exactly?
RiddleMeThis: Don’t mess with a Cobblepot. Or a Nygma.
RiddleMeThis: And Gotham is our city, and it has no room for betrayers like them.
Timbirb: It is our city…
Timbirb: Thanks dad.
RiddleMeThis: Of course.
RiddleMeThis: Ugh. The soft one is insisting I say “I love you and that’s what family is for.”
Timbirb: I love you too, dad. And I love you also papa.
RiddleMeThis: Let us know if you need anything else, Tim.
Timbirb: I will. Thank you.
Timbirb: Oh, btw we don’t have another child.
Timbirb: Despite my efforts, my spouses keep saying no, so for now Callum is still an only child.
Timbirb: Bart was making a joke but I guess Jason took it seriously.
RiddleMeThis: Oh good.
Timbirb: :( Another child would be fun.
RiddleMeThis: Oh, I don’t care about that. I don’t have to raise them, you can do whatever you want.
RiddleMeThis: I’m just glad you haven’t done anything without telling us first.
Timbirb: oH
Timbirb: Yeah abba made me promise last time I would tell him before we brought a child home so I intend to keep that
RiddleMeThis: At least you’ll keep promises to one parent.
Timbirb: Listen
Timbirb: Actually I have no excuse, I’m just gonna go now
RiddleMeThis: I regret adopting you.
Timbirb: We should go get our son probably
Konsequence: “probably”
Timbirb: I mean, he’s fine with dad but I feel bad he got dropped off with no warning
BartToTheFuture: wait i left him with jason
Timbirb: And Jason left him with dad because he’s a coward
BartToTheFuture: your brother sucks
Timbirb: Yeah, he’s been currently removed from the brother list. Martin is now my only brother.
Painbabyy: You’re really just going to do Dick dirty like this?
Timbirb: That’s different, Dick adopted me not the other way around
Konsequence: and???
Timbirb: Well I don’t get a say in if he’s my brother or not, that’s his choice
Painbabyy: But Martin is your only brother?
Timbirb: idk how Dick feels about me right now. Maybe he doesn’t want to be my brother, so I can’t really say
Timbirb: I stalked Jason until he gave up, so I have rights to add and remove him as my brother whenever I want
Timbirb: And of course Martin and I have those sweet legal bonds of brotherhood that mean we can’t get rid of each other ever
Konsequence: what
BartToTheFuture: tag yourself i’m the deep inhale Kon took before sending that
Painbabyy: Me when Tim makes things unnecessarily complicated
Timbirb: 😔
Painbabyy: I still love you though
Timbirb: !!!! Yay
Konsequence: I’m on the fence
Timbirb: Wow I cry to you and you’re still “on the fence”
Timbirb: I see how it is
Konsequence: wait no it was a joke
Konsequence: i love you so much Tim, you’re literally one third of my heart, i will always love you!
Timbirb: Better.
BartToTheFuture: i think you just got played into admitting you care
Konsequence: ah shit
Timbirb: Tehe
Konsequence: don’t you fucking tehe me
Timbirb: What are you going to do about it huh?
Konsequence: …
BartToTheFuture: where do you think they’re taking him?
Painbabyy: idk But I hope it includes picking up Callum. I’m not going to see Tim’s parents alone in these conditions.
BartToTheFuture: i didn’t want to leave the house today anyway, so mood
BartToTheFuture: hey b since it’s just the two of us…
Painbabyy: We’re not discussing having more children right now.
BartToTheFuture: how can you always read our minds
Painbabyy: I’m secretly a meta with mind reading powers.
BartToTheFuture: o_o
BartToTheFuture: really?????
Painbabyy: No, babe, that was a joke.
BartToTheFuture: oh
Painbabyy: The truth is there’s a lot of luck involved, mixed with the fact I happen to know you three very well, plus your lights are dead give aways sometimes. You know they move based on your emotions right?
BartToTheFuture: i mean
Painbabyy: Bart.
BartToTheFuture: don’t be mean to me i never really thought about it
BartToTheFuture: when i look at your lights i just think about the pretty colors and how they make me feel safe and warm and i dont need to consider anything else
Painbabyy: Dear god that is so gay.
BartToTheFuture: thanks
BartToTheFuture: so a baby
Painbabyy: No.
BartToTheFuture: but it would make tim so happy
BartToTheFuture: he really wants another baby and i know the reasoning is kind of sad but also this isn’t the first time he’s had baby fever since callum maybe it’s time
BartToTheFuture: we could get him one for his birthday! he would love that as a present
Painbabyy: You cannot give someone a child as a present.
BartToTheFuture: not with that attitude
Painbabyy: God you’re lucky you’re so cute.
Painbabyy: Okay let me make you deal.
BartToTheFuture: im listening
Painbabyy: If you can get Connor to agree, we can discuss having another baby.
BartToTheFuture: really?????
Painbabyy: Really.
Painbabyy: But listen. Bart this part is important, I need you to listen.
BartToTheFuture: i am
Painbabyy: You cannot bring this up to Tim. The last thing I want his to see him get his hopes up and not get a follow through. So we’re not going to tell him until we have all confirmed we want another child and have discussed how it’s going to happen. That way we can give Tim a timeline and a plan, and he won’t try to jump the gun.
Painbabyy: Hopefully.
BartToTheFuture: oh i hate lying to y’all so much
BartToTheFuture: i mean i’ll do it because this is important but i’m going to feel guilty
BartToTheFuture: but if tim starts questioning idk if i can last or not
Painbabyy: We’ll have Connor stay on standby and come up with a code word in case you need immediate intervention.
BartToTheFuture: bless
BartToTheFuture: i am going to convince kon to have a baby!!!!!
BartToTheFuture: is it bad that im actually getting excited because i want another kid
BartToTheFuture: i always wanted to have a sibling and now our son gets to have one im !!!!!!!!
Painbabyy: You’re so cute.
Painbabyy: Come over here and kiss me, we got time before anyone gets back.
BartToTheFuture: dont have to tell me twice
Painbabyy: I need to ask you something, but first I need to buy your silence.
SpoiledRotten: Mhm who are we keeping silence from because my rates can get pretty high
Painbabyy: Tim
SpoiledRotten: Ooh, that comes with the “I love to fuck with him” discount, what are you thinking about offering?
Painbabyy: Do you want money, blackmail, or a hot lead.
SpoiledRotten: Please, you know me. Blackmail of course.
Painbabyy: Email me who and what level of blackmail you want and I’ll get back to you within 4 days.
SpoiledRotten: I knew you were my favorite for a reason.
SpoiledRotten: Done and sent, now what are we keeping from Tim?
Painbabyy: Bart has decided to join the train of trying to get Tim a baby
SpoiledRotten: Oh fun! Sorry for your loss though
Painbabyy: It’s not a loss yet, I told him he has to convince Connor so that at least is going to buy me a few days because they are still vehemently against the idea.
Painbabyy: If I can get us a bigger apartment, I’ll be less against the idea so I’m really relying on that buffer time to get some math done.
SpoiledRotten: Isn’t Tim the math gay in your relationship
Painbabyy: Yeah, I’m going to have to ask Jason for help which is unfortunate because he’s a coward but I refuse to ask Edward. I don’t want to be the cause of drama between him and Tim or him and Oswald because someone kept a secret even if it was for a surprise.
Painbabyy: Not that I would ask Edward to keep it from Oswald, but I also can’t guarantee he won’t anyways so
SpoiledRotten: Having them as in-laws seems like a crazy amount of drama I’m so sorry
Painbabyy: Oh no, I love them. The drama is the biggest selling point are you kidding me?
SpoiledRotten: freak
Painbabyy: Thanks 😘
Painbabyy: Anyway, we are obviously not going to tell Tim about any potentials about having another child until we have the whole thing planned out, fully done and dusted.
SpoiledRotten: For the best really
Painbabyy: Well I thought so
Painbabyy: Part of this planning things out is deciding what route we’re going to go, so this is where the major favor comes in
Painbabyy: If we, the OT4, decide to have another baby
Painbabyy: How willing would you be to carry it?
SpoiledRotten: I’m going to need additional blackmail, but I’m not opposed to the idea
SpoiledRotten: I don’t really mind the idea of being pregnant again, as long I don’t have to raise the child afterwards so fuck it
SpoiledRotten: Better than Tim trying to clone a child for the second time
Painbabyy: Please don’t bring that up again
SpoiledRotten: lol
Painbabyy: You can get your additional blackmail, and for the record we would pay for everything the entire time. You have to do the hard work, but we will be taking care of you as compensation.
SpoiledRotten: No y’all have to raise the child, I’m pretty sure that’s the hard job. Being pregnant was annoying sometimes but at least it only lasts 9 months
Painbabyy: There’s some joys to parenthood
SpoiledRotten: “Some”
Painbabyy: Also. When tf have you been pregnant before
SpoiledRotten: You don’t know about that?????
Painbabyy: No.
SpoiledRotten: This is like integral Tim and Steph lore, how do you not know this??
Painbabyy: How is this Tim/Steph lore when there is literally no world where that was Tim’s baby
SpoiledRotten: Well duh obviously not, although Tim’s dad thought it was for at least 5 minutes which was hilarious
SpoiledRotten: Tim was just my support system because I needed someone, and I sure as shit wasn’t going to tell Batman when he already thought I was doing everything wrong. I wasn’t going to worry my mom if I could help it either, and the fucking douchebag of a boyfriend that knocked me up ran the second he found out there were consequences to his actions so
SpoiledRotten: It was just me, Tim, and the weekly payments Oswald convinced my ex was the right thing to do
Painbabyy: He is so good at a convincing people
Painbabyy: I’m guessing you didn’t keep the child unless you’ve been hiding something else from me
SpoiledRotten: Oh god no. I was 15, there was no way I was throwing away my life for a kid I didn’t want. That shit builds resentment. Having been the unwanted kid, no way was I doing that
Painbabyy: You really have to let me visit your father
SpoiledRotten: When I run out of ways to torture him with my visits I’ll let you know. Right now it seems like I’m getting 9 more months of fuel to just eat him alive.
SpoiledRotten: I can’t decide if it’ll be more fun to carry a boy and get to rub it in his face that it’s not his grandson even though all he ever wanted was a son to carry on his legacy
SpoiledRotten: Or if it’ll be funnier to carry a girl and spend the whole time talking up how excited she is to meet her grandpa and all the cute things they can do together that was too busy to do with me, well now he just had so much free time there could be a tea party every day
SpoiledRotten: And then of course no matter what way it goes, I get to reveal I’m just a surrogate and not having kids and oh his dreams of the family criminal line continuing is going to die with him. I love giving him false hope just to crush it.
Painbabyy: Fuck I knew there was a reason you were my best friend
SpoiledRotten: I’m fucked up and I understand Tim, the only two things a friendship needs
Painbabyy: No for real
SpoiledRotten: Anyway, back to the original point. I am more than happy to be your surrogate but I have two conditions
Painbabyy: Reasonable, shoot
SpoiledRotten: One I am not sleeping with any of the OT4, no offense but also ew
Painbabyy: I wouldn’t ask you to, I figured we could do ivf
SpoiledRotten: Excellent
SpoiledRotten: Number two, I want that baby named after me in some way. First name, middle name, I don’t care if it’s direct like Stephanie or Stephan or a little bit more creative, I do not care I just want that baby to have my name
SpoiledRotten: If I’m carrying them, I want to leave a mark on them
Painbabyy: I mean I don’t care, but Tim went through a whole show picking up Callum’s name so he might have something to say about it. You know how particular he gets, you might have to fight him
SpoiledRotten: Well I have all the leverage here so he doesn’t really have a choice
SpoiledRotten: But also I will kick his ass if necessary.
Painbabyy: Hot
Painbabyy: I don’t think Connor or Bart will care much, but I’ll talk to them about it later when this is all looking more confirmed.
SpoiledRotten: How does it feel to lose the fight against more children
Painbabyy: It was always going to be a matter of when not if when it came to more kids
Painbabyy: It’s stressful, especially when we have no idea what Callum will think, I wish we could get another year before we even started talking about it, but it’s not the end of the world I guess
Painbabyy: I’m going to implement a “no nights at the watchtower” for the first year this time, I’m not letting Connor and Bart get out of the sleepless nights with a stupid excuse
Painbabyy: I have so many spreadsheets I need to break out. I’m going to be stressed until our child turns two and we’re pretty sure they don’t also have lightning powers and then maybe I can start to relax a little bit
SpoiledRotten: What if they develop powers later?
Painbabyy: Dear god do not put that on me
SpoiledRotten: lol
SpoiledRotten: See this is why if we ever have kids, I’m adopting them at Robin age. 12 or above, Bruce really was cooking with that one. Kids already have all their freaky secrets exposed by then
Painbabyy: I don't think that’s true…
SpoiledRotten: I do
SpoiledRotten: Besides, 12 year olds don’t need wear diapers or have to be taught not to eat their boogers so that’s that a huge plus
Painbabyy: Well
SpoiledRotten: Don’t ruin this for me
Painbabyy: Yes ma’am
SpoiledRotten: Thin ice, sir
Painbabyy: Sorry
SpoiledRotten: Better
Painbabyy: I’ll get that blackmail to you asap, and I’ll let you know when we’re ready to broach the subject to Tim
SpoiledRotten: Sick, sounds good to me. I’m going to return to my completely unchanging life until then
Painbabyy: You don’t have to rub it in
SpoiledRotten: No, but it’s fun to
SpoiledRotten: kisses 😘
BartToTheFuture: so
Konsequence: no
BartToTheFuture: :( you didn’t let me finish
Konsequence: anything you have to say that requires the two of us to be in a private chat is automatically a bad idea
Konsequence: or things we shouldn’t be discussing in public
BartToTheFuture: ayo? ;)
Konsequence: no
BartToTheFuture: :(((
BartToTheFuture: this isn’t about that anyway
Konsequence: it still can’t be good
BartToTheFuture: i want to give tim a baby
Konsequence: i was right
BartToTheFuture: and bernard said that if i can get you on my side, we can talk about it
Konsequence: i’m not budging on this one
BartToTheFuture: come on kon please
Konsequence: no
BartToTheFuture: i always wanted a sibling growing up didn’t you? why would we deny our son that
Konsequence: i have a brother Bart
BartToTheFuture: oh yeah you do
BartToTheFuture: why don’t you want our son to have that!!!
Konsequence: where are we going to put another child Bart?
BartToTheFuture: ooh i know this one! b is looking for a bigger apartment
Konsequence: and what about Callum’s powers?
BartToTheFuture: oh well b was saying something about there being at least a nine month buffer period so i think we can figure it out
Konsequence: nine months… jesus fuck is planning for someone to actually carry this child?
BartToTheFuture: yeah steph
Konsequence: that’s a horrible idea
Konsequence: has anyone considered the repercussions if Gotham finds out Batwoman carried babies for the Drake
BartToTheFuture: we just don’t let them find out
Konsequence: how exactly do you plan that
BartToTheFuture: idk im the pretty on in the relationship not the smart one
BartToTheFuture: there is definitely time to figure that out
Konsequence: i’m sorry no. no i’m not risking it, i can’t agree to another child
Konsequence: i couldn’t agree to the first one, a second baby isn’t going to fix that
BartToTheFuture: wait hold on
BartToTheFuture: what do you mean couldn’t
BartToTheFuture: i know they never asked us but like
BartToTheFuture: you love callum right
Konsequence: of course i do
Konsequence: i love Callum to bits and that’s exactly why i think it was a bad idea we had him in the first place
BartToTheFuture: you lost me
Konsequence: Bart. what do we do if Tim and Bernard cross the line?
BartToTheFuture: what
Konsequence: the line our relationship is built on. because we knew we would never see eye to eye outside, so we decided to leave our other activities at the door, as long as they don’t cross the line.
Konsequence: but what if they do? if something happens to our kids… if Tim goes too far we would have to stop him.
Konsequence: it’s not like he hasn’t gotten close. god knows the only reason what happened with the loa was toeing is because we weren’t together yet and also they deserve it but
Konsequence: do you really want to traumatize another child besides Callum if we have to take down their parents?
Konsequence: and what about the pressure and guilt that are going to fall onto these kids shoulders when they realize their parents live two separate lives with two separate views of right and wrong, and they don’t know which to follow because they’re going to hurt someone either way
Konsequence: do you know how hard it is to be the child of a superhero and a supervillain? where each parent is trying to pull you to their side, but you can never be good enough because they always see the other side in you?
Konsequence: this is why i never wanted kids
Konsequence: and why i hate how much i love Callum, because it would be easier for him to grow up with just two parents who could agree on who they are, instead of four who make it work by pretending certain things don’t exist
BartToTheFuture: baby girl,,,
Konsequence: Bart
BartToTheFuture: okay so uhm first off, your parents are pieces of absolute shit. they treated you as a chess piece your entire life which is awful and they deserve to rot in hell especially clark who loves pretending he’s always been a good dad
BartToTheFuture: twoth off, i know your experience tells you otherwise but we would literally never push callum or any other child to pick a side and criticize them for doing things wrong we are better parents than that and considering i’m the only one without parental trauma i know that’s hard for y’all to believe sometimes but it’s true and there are ways to raise children without pressuring them and making them feel like constant failures
BartToTheFuture: we are going to have to be careful about some things and make sure our kids get equally exposed to both sides without us trying too hard to influence them, which is why we keep business out of the apartment and if it has to be discussed its in text so little ears don’t hear too much too soon, but we can do.
BartToTheFuture: we just have to make sure also our kids know we will always love them no matter what, and that yes sometimes we might disagree with their decisions or actions or whatever else, but we do that with each other and are still together, it’s okay. we just want them to be happy
BartToTheFuture: and thirth, I don’t think there is actual danger of tim ever crossing the line. he knows what would happen if that was the case, and he loves us too much to put us through that
BartToTheFuture: but also if he did cass would certainly beat us to arresting him so we don’t traumatize any children and we would just have to explain to them that daddy tim made a choice that he knew was going to break our hearts and put him away for a very long time, but he decided to go through with it anyway and now he has to deal with the consequences of his actions
BartToTheFuture: i know you’re worried but i seriously think a second child will be good for us
BartToTheFuture: if there is any pressure on callum it would be a lot more evenly distributed if we had more kids
BartToTheFuture: but also we should really talk to tim and bernard about this especially if you’re still against another baby because they deserve to know
Konsequence: damn i hate when you make good points
Konsequence: you are serious .2% of the time and it just
Konsequence: give me some time to think about it, yeah?
Konsequence: i just… need to weigh some things
BartToTheFuture: take all the time you need kon
BartToTheFuture: i love you
Konsequence: i love you too