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Bad stares at his accuser with unblinking eyes. “Why do you think my goal is killing everyone in the Realm? There would be nobody left to torment, and I’d have to find somewhere else to live. Although, I suppose I could spare Green faction. Perhaps we’d move into your Yellow castle. I've always liked Foolish's throne."
Owen's mouth stretches into a smile. "I'll be sure to inform the king of your plans," he says with a note of triumph. "Who do you think he'll believe, an enemy of the kingdom and failed assassin, or his royal jester who's been with him since the kingdom's inception."
"Since the kingdom's inception is a long time,” he notes agreeably.
Honestly, he isn't sure what Foolish would believe. Bad’s penchant for murder has never once been in question, but would he believe Bad would murdering the entire Realm? The notion is laughable, but not technically impossible.
"I've seen you whispering in his ear, trying to gain his trust. And I’m telling you, nobody has the king's ear more than us, his loyal and faithful subjects. All of us dislike you and can and will speak against you. You have nothing. You are nothing, and pretending otherwise is to be delusional. You will see."
"I'm sure I will. While you're informing the king of my shocking disloyalty, can you tell him I nicked one of his cuff bracelets last night?” Bad's tone is a manufactured kind of offhand. “Those emeralds were begging for a new home.”
* * *
Later that night, Foolish knocks on Bad's open guest room door. Bad flips another page in his book. He hadn't meant to actually read it, but the random book he's taken off the shelf turned out to be a history of the realm. He'd gotten invested in comparing his own memories to the notes of whichever historian had noted these events down.
"Did Owen inform you of my treachery?" He speaks into the open space. Foolish's presence is weary before him. From his peripheries, he can see he wants to be confrontational, but it's too late, too tired, and too worn down. Nighttime has always been an open time for them.
"Does it matter?" Foolish's voice is weary, as Bad confirms.
"I suppose not," he admits. "You know I wouldn't go that far, don't you?"
"You would, to be clear, and you have. The only thing that tipped me off was how insistent Owen was that you would tear this entire palace down simply because he was threatening to expose you." He lifts an eyebrow. "Whatever he can expose about you, I guarantee I have much more in my back pocket, and I am the person he would go to."
"Do you know that for certain?" Bad closes the book and rises to his feet. Foolish's eyes gain a resigned sort of acceptance. Bad follows him through the halls and to a balcony. It's one at the back, not facing the direction of Bad's cathedral. "Even the smallest whisper to the right person can incite a strong movement."
"Don't lecture to me," grumbles Foolish, leaning against his forearms on the railing. "But yes, I know. My point is, you have never cared about reputation and those kinds of things, not in the conventional way people usually do. If you one day decided to kill everyone, it certainly wouldn't be because someone made an offhand comment that annoyed you. Hell, you've been threatening me with murder and the dismantling of my kingdom since I can remember, Since before this universe, in fact. You're too sly to be caught monologuing or slipping up by telling your plans to someone like Owen."
"Someone like Owen?" Bad repeats dryly. "Slimy, you mean? Untrustworthy?" Foolish gives him a look. "I'm simply going off your body language, my liege."
"Stop," Foolish rolls his eyes. "You're a decent read of character most of the time - I think you've got the gist of it. I trusted Owen in the early days, but his behaviour is a bit too sporadic and dependent on those surrounding him to be trusted. I can't make a move on him though, because he gets a rise out of being challenged."
"He gets a rise out of seeing things he can take advantage of," mutters Bad. "I make one comment about some various thing, and he pounces on it like a tiger. You should see him in action. He kisses up to you, but even when I was with him and Ros, the moment Ros mentions something conflict-adjacent, his ears perk up and he teases out every bit of information he can afford to. He's very perceptive."
Foolish is silent for a beat. "You should be careful. I'd almost think you are the one trying to split my faction apart."
"Well, I’m definitely doing that," responds Bad dryly, "Only not nearly so dramatic as to go on a killing rampage. So last season, wouldn’t you agree?" Foolish looks over at him with a faintly exasperated expression. "Do you still get it, by the way? The bloodlust. The demand for balance."
Foolish shakes his head. "You know exactly why I don't." Bad's lips quirk into a playful grin. "Divine intervention my ass."
"It's divine enough," he shoots back. "You didn’t feel like paying the price for giving life, so it manifested through me. You're lucky I'm here, otherwise you could have unleashed another plague on accident."
"Please, it wouldn't have gone that far. Just a few freak deaths at most."
"Tell yourself that next time you’ve exceeded your quota and everyone in your kingdom is struck down by a terrible disease," he shoots back. "Or you get a drought. You won’t be complaining about how I’m always in the same world as you then."
"Hey pal, don't act like the number of negative experiences with you doesn't far outweigh the positive." He jabs a finger into Bad's arm. "You're a menace, whether you're killing people for a purpose or not."
"I mean, that part was never in question," Bad says dryly.
Foolish rolls his eyes and settles back to facing forward. "As long as we’re clear on that."
High above, an orange jester watches over their actions on a balcony of his own.