Chapter Text
It had been a few weeks since El left.
Left.
That was the word Mike kept using, like she’d just gone somewhere temporary. Like she was on vacation. Like she’d walk back through the door any second, asking why everyone looked so sad.
“Hey.”
Mike looked up. Will stood in the doorway, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket.
“Your mom wanted me to ask if you wanted anything,” Will said. “She says you’ve been in here all day.”
“I’m not hungry,” Mike muttered.
Will hesitated, then stepped inside anyway. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”
Mike shrugged. “I’m fine.”
Will didn’t argue. He just sat on the edge of the bed, close enough that Mike could feel the dip in the mattress.
“She doesn’t get it,” Mike said suddenly. “My mom. She keeps acting like… like El’s just gone for a while.”
Will nodded. “Yeah.”
“I mean—she’s gone,” Mike said, his voice tightening. “And I didn’t even—” He stopped himself, jaw clenching. “Never mind.”
Will glanced at him. “You don’t have to stop.”
Mike let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, well. I didn’t even tell her I loved her. Not the last time. Not when it mattered.” He stared at the floor. “What kind of person does that?”
Will’s voice was quiet. “Someone who was scared.”
Mike shook his head. “No. Someone who screwed up.” He swallowed. “I was a shitty boyfriend, Will. I didn’t listen enough. I didn’t ask enough questions. I dated her for years and still didn’t really know her the way I should’ve.”
“That’s not true,” Will said quickly.
“It is,” Mike snapped—and immediately softened. “I mean… I kept thinking I had more time. And now I don’t.”
Will was quiet for a moment. Then he said, “El loved you. She knew you loved her.”
“That doesn’t fix it,” Mike said. “Knowing isn’t the same as saying it.”
Will reached out and rested a hand on Mike’s shoulder. “She wouldn’t want you punishing yourself forever.”
Mike huffed. “She kinda deserves better than that.”
“She’d want you to live,” Will said. “She told me once—after everything—she wanted to go somewhere far away. Start over.”
Mike’s throat tightened. “She told you that?”
“Yeah,” Will said. “So… maybe you should do that. For her.”
Mike leaned back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know how to do anything without feeling like I’m betraying her.”
Will’s hand slipped away. “You’re not.”
There was a pause.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Will asked. “Just for a bit. We could ride our bikes. Go to the arcade or something.”
Mike hesitated. Then nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
They stood, and Mike stopped at the doorway. “Will?”
“Yeah?”
“I—” Mike swallowed. “I don’t think I could get through this without you.”
Will blinked. “You don’t have to,” he said, softer now.
“You mean a lot to me,” Mike added quickly. Too quickly.
Will’s ears turned red. “You too,” he said. “Crazy together, right?”
Mike forced a smile. “Crazy together.”
As they headed downstairs, the weight in Mike’s chest didn’t lift. If anything, it got heavier.
Because he knew the truth.
I like Will.
Not like a friend. Not like Dustin or Lucas. Like Robin and Vickie. Like something he wasn’t supposed to feel.
He wanted things he couldn’t have—late nights, shared silence, waking up next to him. And wanting them made him feel sick with guilt.
Because El was gone.
And because he’d never been fully honest with her.
And because being honest now would mean losing Will too.
“Looks like it’s raining,” Will said, tossing Mike a jacket. “Here.”
Mike flinched as he caught it.
“You okay?” Will asked.
“Yeah,” Mike said, a little too fast. “Thanks.”
They stepped outside together, rain tapping softly around them, and Mike wondered how something so small—just walking out the door—could feel so wrong.