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It was captivating- hypnotising, even. Watching a pair of smooth blades travelling across the ice with little resistance. To compare it to a knife cutting through butter simply wasn't enough to capture the sheer elegance that those admirable figure skaters on television had.
Save wanted to be just like them. Unfortunately for the clumsy and petite man, he could only keep those fantasies to himself for fear of ridicule. If he slid across the wooden floorboards in his fluffy socks, it was his little secret.
Well...a secret between him and his roommate.
"P'Au, you lazy ass! Come pick up your skates!"
Save really didn't know what everyone saw in this man. The guy he called P'Au - also known as the men's figure skating national champion runner-up Auau Thanaphum Sestasittikul - had fangirls calling him husband of the year even before the viral clip of his triple axel. If only they knew what he was like in their shared home. Some husband he would be.
But he had to admit...the guy was good-looking. With Save's high standards for the male appearance, it's not everyday that he comes across someone who fits almost all of those standards. He spent the first few hours that they met with his mouth agape shamelessly looking the guy up and down.
"Just leave them there, I'm heading out in a second. Are you coming with me this time?"
Save shoots him a look of pure venom; the admiration for the charming figure skater had dissolved into cheeky banter and perhaps a guilty pleasure in sneaking into his bed on the coldest nights. Only the coldest nights, at least that's what Save tells himself.
"You want to watch me embarrass myself again, don't you? You laughed your ass off last time."
"No..."
But the glint in his eye said otherwise. There was nothing innocent about him and maybe Save didn't mind the man who made every day a bit more interesting (albeit infuriating). Two hours was barely enough time for him to get used to the slippery ice, he whines, but he finds himself leaning against Auau's motorcycle while the taller man buckles the helmet on.
***
"DON'T YOU DARE LET GO, WAIT WAIT STOP!"
The sound of someone hitting the floor, then a cackling laughter from above. Auau was doubled over, almost falling over himself at Save's immediate fall. Damn, it was impressive at how uncoordinated he was. With one hand under each arm, Auau hauls a very humiliated Save back to his feet.
"I told you to bend your knees. It lowers your centre of gravity so you're less likely to lose balance."
Save clamps a hand over the other's mouth, then the sudden feeling of Auau's body bumping into his interrupts his train of thought.
His eyelashes are so long.
It must've only been a second before Auau moves away, but when they were staring at each other something told him to stay there for just a few more seconds. To share body heat, of course. He glances back at Save who was seemingly nervously rubbing his hands together. Were his ears red because of the cold?
After another skater bumps into Auau, he's pulled out of his daze. He offers both hands to Save who takes them. Neither of them look the other in the eyes, but the mutual agreement to never talk about this moment again lingered between them.
***
Auau liked to practice alone when not even the sun could disrupt his focus. The rink was his personal stage and he would rehearse his performance over and over again to an empty audience. With his eyes closed, he would imagine the roaring applause. Silver medals weren't enough no matter how impressive people said they were. He wanted to be Auau Thanaphum the men's figure skating national champion, but the ones above him were a world's reach away. In the public's eyes, he was the runner-up.
The music stops and he waits for silence with his eyes closed in his signature ending pose. But a soft clap causes his eyes to shoot open. He's sure that he's hallucinating now, gazing at the man standing there in his fuzzy sweater clapping his gloved hands. The coffee was really getting to him.
"Can you teach me how to do that?"
Oh. He's really here.
At 5am in the morning, wearing Auau's old skates looking so...so...
"Cute."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing, just get over here. I'll teach you how to do a lift."
Their staring contest ends when Save instinctively reaches out a hand to Auau. With a laugh under his breath, he leads him onto the ice once more. Unlike the usual crowded atmosphere of public skating sessions, there was nothing to distract them from each other's lonely company.
They start with a slow glide across the ice. Against Save's complaints, he's pushed along by Auau's hands like an anxious puppet. He had no choice but to hold on for dear life. The logical side of him knew that the figure skater would never let him go, but the irrational side was screaming at him to return to stable land. He wasn't built for this no matter how much he enjoyed it!!!
If his brain wasn't already overloaded enough, the feeling of being lifted into the air causes him to completely short-circuit. It wasn't just the fact that neither of his feet were on the ground, but also the hand around his waist and the sheer proximity of his face to Auau's.
Wow. His eyes are so pretty.
Time seems to stop as Save's initial fear fades into awe. Regardless of how they bickered as roommates, he couldn't deny the warmth he felt from Auau's touch. And now with no choice but to keep his arms wrapped around the man's broad shoulders, a strange feeling stirred within him. Something he really, really didn't want to admit.
Save doesn't notice when they stop. He barely notices being placed on the railing until Auau's face is suffocatingly close to his. It wasn't uncomfortable; perhaps it would have been better if it was. But the closeness was so natural that he doesn't even want to pull away.
"Do it before I change my mind, you coward."
"Can you give me a second???"
Save's hands tighten around the back of Auau's neck and pull him so close he could smell the expensive serum he used every morning. He wished he had taken off his gloves so he could thread his fingers through the thick black hair that shone blue under the rink's dim lights. Watching Auau trying to work up the courage to kiss him was amusing to say the least. This handsome, graceful roommate of his has never seemed so shy. His face was flushed despite the cold air, pale skin making the pink stand out even more. One can really be both pretty and hot at the same time.
And finally, finally, Auau tilts his head to the side and closes the distance between them. Sparks don't exactly fly - Save never really believed in that kind of explosive love - instead he felt light-headed. Not 'about to faint' light-headed, more like he was still in disbelief. He was letting this happen, which means he wanted this to happen, which means he has feelings for-
"P'Au."
His voice comes out more breathless than intended.
"Do you-"
"Yeah."
"Let me finish my sentence!"
His hands bat uselessly at the other man's chest but they both know that he didn't want to stop. Another kiss lands on Save's lips, so of course he has to return it because he can never let Auau win. What initially started off as an innocent exchange of affection turned into an attempt to push Auau's face away so he could breathe. For someone who claims to be bad at kissing, he sure was good at making him forget his own name.
And this time when Save crawls into his roommate's bed at night, he knows he won't be sleeping by himself for a while.
***
MEN’S FIGURE SKATING GOLD MEDALIST AUAU THANAPHUM SESTASITTIKUL ADDRESSES DATING ALLEGATIONS IN RECENT INTERVIEW (transcript below)
Q: It's your first gold medal after 5 years of silvers, how do you feel?
A: I've truly never been happier. I'm really glad that my training has paid off, and I hope to bring home more gold medals in the years to come. It’s been many years of trial and error, so it seems like I’ve hit gold - pun intended - with my efforts. I suppose I should postpone my retirement for a while, right?
Q: Did you do anything special this year to help you win? Maybe someone special entered your life?
A: Ha, I was waiting for this question! Nobody entered my life at all. But that person ... he's always been there, supporting me and helping me improve. This was just the year I showed him how much I cared for him. I wasn’t going to talk about him today, but judging by the state of social media I think I should clarify some things that my fans might have taken the wrong way.
First of all. I’m taken. That part should be obvious. I’ve been taken for a while now. And like I said before, I’ve never been happier. Not just because of the gold.
And when will we be able to hear from this lucky guy?
A: Well, I'd honestly say that I'm the lucky one here. You should all know by now that I’m not the easiest guy to like. I really admire my partner’s ability to go back to sleep after I wake him up at, like, 5am for morning practice. I need my personal audience after all, although he likes to judge me more than give feedback.
You see that cute guy in the front trying to blend in with the rest of the photographers? He's the first to judge my choreography.
Oh, now he’s trying to hide. You really don’t want to come and talk to the reporter? Fine, fine. I’ll see you at home then.
Do you have any goals or aspirations for the following years?
A: (whispered) Marriage?
Just kidding, I’m getting too ahead of myself. I just want to live my life to the fullest, keep on doing what I love with the people I love. Maybe I’ll post on social media more often; I want to document my special moments after all.
Alright, I should probably head out now. My partner will scold me if I make him wait too long. Please keep supporting me, everyone, I promise I won’t disappoint.